Dad In A Daughter's World

It is important to have a solid family unit. It is equally important to have solid individual relationships. We need to break away from the group once in a while so we can develop a unique relationship with each of our kids. I do that through camping. It is the perfect way to see how different each kid is and how you can create a bond that lasts.

Real talk: being a dad is NOT glorious. It's exhausting and underappreciated. BUT...it's worth it. We don't do this for our own glory, we do this for our kids, whom we love. That is all the reason we need.

We all have to do things we don't want to do so we can have the things we want. There is no way to get the reward without the hard work. How do we get our kids, who can't think past the end of their nose, to see a future that is better than their immediate either more or less than their current situation? We have to set a vision that is to scale with our kids. 

Have you ever felt like you want to relive your vacation but can't afford to constantly be on vacation? Of course. You're a dad. You have work to do. If we can't always be on vacation, how else can we generate that same dynamic at home? One solution is a breakfast dance party, the other is fire. Both are good options.

Parenting is hard and there are stages in our child's life that are REALLY hard. Don't look past this current difficulty though. It is there to teach you, to prepare you for what's next. I have been learning this in my own life. Be sure you learn the lesson today because there is a test tomorrow.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I still believe in good manners. I teach my kids manners and hold them to a high standard. This is the foundation on which I am building the both the understanding that we must acknowledge the dignity of other people, but that we, and our daughters, demand respect for our own dignity from others.

I'm not good at play. I just carry around too much crap in my head to let go and play with my girls. One way that I have gotten around that is by subjecting my kids to my childhood favorites. The one we recently watched was 3 Ninjas. I love that movie so much. It brought out my inner child and I was able to really play with my girls. Play is so healthy. I swear it cleared a year's worth of stress out of my body. I recommend finding a way to connect your inner childhood to their actual childhood and then playing together.

Have you ever looked at your daughter and thought, "holy crap, when did she get so big?" Of course you have. We all have, because time flies. It doesn't have to be that way though. If we put in the effort to commit more of our life to our long term memory, our life will feel longer and more rich because our brain is storing memories instead of discarding them. I offer a few tips, along with what I do, to help hold on to those precious moments with our daughters. 

I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. I am a fan of how much my girls love me, though. They really pour it on and I have to admit that it feels good. I share my Valentine's Day cards that my daughters made me and reflect on 1) how awesome it is to be recognized for what I do, and 2) how important it is that they are recognizing these things in me. 

If you are feeling a bit down, spend some time with your kid. Let them love on you. It does wonders for our perspective. 

I am blessed to speak with a marriage and family counselor, Chris Scott. He brings a ton of value with his experience speaking to both men and women. I did not consider how much there is to learn about being a dad of daughters by listening to other women. That was an eye opening statement. I hope you find some actionable information in this episode. Far above that though, I hope it encourages you to get help. Chris said it best, "the men who come the therapy and put in the work are better than most."

You can connect with Chris via email at [email protected]

And the resources he referenced are:

https://www.fatherhood.org/

https://guideposttherapy.com

https://www.loveandlogic.com