I was sitting at the kitchen table speaking with Gail (the wife) on Saturday night

and the topic of having a purpose came up.

It is the one thing that will make a human being feel like they belong somewhere or to part of something.

We need to feel like we are wanted, needed, that we can contribute to something bigger than ourselves

Sadly this is exactly what has been eroded over the years.

This craving for an easy life, the takeover of technology, making more and more of us redundant in the endless drive for more profit is destroying our society.

More of us are forced to rely on government handouts in order to survive.

So many of us are no longer living, just merely existing on a day to day basis, wondering where the next meal will come from, how long will it be before they lose the roof over their head, dreading the thought of birthdays and Christmas because they do not know where they will get the money to keep the dreams of Santa alive.

This leads to hopelessness, which leads to anxiety and depression, which for far too many, leads to another life gone too soon.

Not that long ago people felt they had a purpose.

Yes life was tougher and money wasn't as available to the vast majority but even though they lacked the financial support, they had the support of friends, family and neighbours to fall back on

Back then the emotional support was much more readily available to them and most where in a similar position as far as income goes and this comparison cancer that has imbedded itself in society today was not as widespread.

For the majority life was hard but it was through this struggle that people came together and acted human.

Compare that to today!

We live in fear of people because our governments have convinced us we could be dangerous. We have left our elderly to live their last years alone, we allowed our loved ones to die alone with no one to hold their hand in their last moments

We care more about how many likes, shares and comments we get on our posts than we do about our fellow man. We scream, shout and berate anyone who has a differing opinion to ours.

It is ironic that in a time when the world is more connected than ever, we are more divided.

But when you look back at then and now, to me it is clear what is wrong.

Too much information and distraction.

We never were designed to be connected to so many billions of people.

We are tribal, just because technology has moved on does not mean that we have.

Yes we have become more advanced etc but when it boils down to it, we are still human beings with human needs and the main needs we have are love, safety and belonging.

We can't get that from facebook.

We won’t get that from endlessly scrolling through our newsfeeds.

We do these things BECAUSE we feel lost!

We are searching for that something that will spark that feeling of being human once again, not realising that it is found in helping those around you.

It's discovered in volunteering your time to help someone WITHOUT wanting something in return. THIS was how we evolved.

You caught an animal for food and if I wandered to your fire, you offered me some.

A time would probably come that I would return the favour

We banded together realising that more hands and eyes meant more food, safety and help. Eventually we formed tribes of people with similar outlooks and wants.

Today in an effort to "connect" the globe, we are allowing our greed and desire to own more, to destroy the very fabric of what it is to be human and if we aren’t careful, it will be our demise!

For a lot of people, working out, training and coaching are all the same

This is also one of the main reasons why some people seem to have more success in their efforts than others

Understanding the differences in these things is also one of the reasons some people are willing to invest more of their money into methods that others aren't.

Now I am sure PT's everywhere will have their own definitions of what they mean etc but for me, there are distinct differences in methods and results depending on what it is you are doing

Workouts

Workouts are just that, a workout.

A few exercises thrown together to work up a sweat and make you feel like you have exerted yourself. If you have the knowledge and knowhow, you can fit a workout into a simple structure which then becomes.....

Training

Training is when you do these workouts on a regular basis. Think circuit or bootcamp style sessions. The classes are on X number of days a week.

There is no real order or progressions to the exercises contained within them, there will be a few options in weights to choose from and usually a set time to do as many reps as possible.

Big groups, high energy, very low guidance or corrections in form or alternative exercises.

Coaching

Coaching is structured training

There is a starting point and an end goal.

The exercise choices, reps, sets, weights all have a reason for doing them

BTW, coaching is NOT limited to 1:1 PT.

When people think about coaching, this is the image that is conjured in most peoples minds.

Personally I am not a big believer in 1:1 PT, in fact I would argue that for the VAST majority of people out there, PT is just an expense that is not required and you can achieve the same results from group coaching

A quality coach can manage a group of people and provide HIGH END COACHING to a group.

Coaching provides the best opportunity for success. In Primal we have between 1 - 12 people in a session. Each person gets focused coaching, personalised programming, guidance, accountability AND the added benefit of the group collective to keep them focused and gives them a sense of belonging.

When you understand what it is you are actually doing, it allows you to have a more honest assessment of where you are and what you need to improve on or change to increase your chances of success

One of the big problems people face is the battle between what they want and their actual reality.

A lot of people want the photoshoot look but spend their weekends balls deep in pizza and beers and wonder why they can’t seem to succeed

Many of us have injuries or issues that prevent us from doing what it is we want to do and instead of accepting this and finding a way of adapting, we huff or find a reason to justify not doing anything else.

Naturally this leads to us slipping further away from our goals and becoming even more bogged down in the place we don't want to be.

The reality is that life throws these things our direction to challenge us, to give us a chance to rise to the occasion and respond in a way that makes us become 'more' than we currently are.

We need to drop this thought of self entitlement.

The world owes us nothing!

Life isn’t unfair, life is just.... LIFE!

The reasons why others have more than you is because

A. The universe put them in that position

B. They were willing to make the sacrifices you weren't

C. A lot of them made decisions to rise to the occasion when life challenged them

It is what it is and if you could allow yourself to see past your pity party, you may begin to realise that this "unfair" moment of life, is EXACTLY what you need to face and go through in order to give you a better chance of reaching your true potential

Join a gym/hire a PT and you can almost guarantee that there will be 3 lifts included in your training.

Why?

Because they work!

But just because they work, doesn’t mean everyone should be doing them!

In fact, the more I train the average person over 40, the more I am inclined to say that a large portion of people over 40 have no business going near these three lifts.

I am NOT saying that there isn’t a time and place for them and I am not saying that the majority of people can't work up to doing them but I am saying that a lot of people who use these lifts risk injury due to poor movement patterns and lack of mobility and stability.

There are viable alternatives that can allow you to build up to completing these moves while allowing you to build strength, muscle and correct movement without putting you at as much risk

This focus from the media on body positivity

Is it a good thing?

The problem with today is that we live in a society that is focused on inclusion for all

I am not sure how it began but the premise is a good one

Accept people for who they are regardless of their shape, size, race, religion etc

The issues as far as I am concerned is when we take this idea and run with it

Listen, if you are obese and you love yourself, then more power to you

You have achieved more than most people have and long may it last

BUT! And this is a BIG BUT

DO NOT TRY AND PASS OFF YOUR PHYSIQUE AS HEALTHY!

It isn't! In fact, it the the complete opposite of healthy and the facts are, whether you want to accept it or not, you are putting your quality of life and actual life at unnecessary risk

I am not here to pass judgement on individuals, each of us have our own story and destiny and tbh, it's no one else's business BUT when influential people and magazines are PUSHING this narrative as actually healthy because of this "WOKE" society story, someone needs to call it out

Healthy encompasses both body and mind

If you are in the most amazing physical condition but your mind is in turmoil, then you are not in balance, you aren’t healthy.

The same applies to someone who is obese.

You may be the most confident person and you may well believe big is beautiful (and for many people, this is a truth) but the truth also remains that you are not healthy!

This talk isn’t about me telling you you must change but what NEEDS to change is this story that obesity is healthy. It isn't! It never has been nor will it ever be and all the likes, comments, shares and plus sized models making it to the front cover of popular magazines won’t change that no matter how hard they try

Will my opinions trigger some people?

Probably but the truth does have a tendency to do that

What does success mean to you?

How would you define it?

I was speaking to a member of Primal today

He had fallen prey to the trap of using someone else's

Definition of success as his own marker

This had resulted in him chasing a goal for the sake of chasing a goal

But the emotional connection wasn't there, meaning his desire and drive wavered

This in turn meant he was finding focus hard to come by

Excuses were there for whenever he needed them

Meaning results were not happening

And drive to train disappearing

The fastest way to success is to KNOW what the outcome should be

This will be personal to each of us and if you allow yourself to take others goals

on as your own, you will soon find yourself losing the desire and slipping into old ways

In my experience as a coach, one of the most common reasons for failure

Comes from this inbuilt need to compare ourselves to others

You walk into a gym, you are out of shape and the first thing you do is

Look around to see what the others are like.

How many are "THE SAME AS YOU?"

How many are "REALLY STRONG?"

How many are in "GREAT SHAPE?"

How many are "REALLY FIT?"

Depending on what you see and feel, will determine how you will respond

For a lot of people, if they feel out of their depth, they go into autopilot and find a reason not to come back or maybe make an excuse to leave right there.

What they fail to realise is that comparing yourself to others, while a natural human act, is pointless. You have made a decision based upon the emotional story you created in that instant.

The subconscious feelings you have about your current shape create an untrue story about you and the others you see.

You have no reference point to know whether what you think and feel is actually true or not. 

That big man lifting weight you never realised possible, you don’t know his story. For all you know he could have been in the exact same position as you at some point.

That woman squatting in the rack who looks so strong and confident, you have no idea whether she was always in that great shape and always carried herself with such confidence

All you know is that you are feeling self-conscious and your mind is looking for an escape from this pressure filled situation

The thing is, you may not realise it but you are in a war and it is between your and your mind and this situation you are in means you are already into the second battle.

You have fought one already and you won! You just don’t know it yet.

YOU ARE IN THE GYM! 

That means you have overcome the first battle. 

The battle to get there. 

When you realise this, you can use it to your advantage. 

It is tangible proof that the stories in your head that have allowed you to justify not trying before, have lost some of their power and you have discovered inner strength you didn’t realise you had.

This is the beauty of working towards improving yourself.

You will be presented with more and more challenging opportunities to overcome and just like a war, some you will win, others you will lose but like any great general, if you analyse each battle and take the successes and apply those principles while studying the failures and learn from those lessons, you will succeed

Some thing that we all must have to succeed

Some skin in the game

Too many people want everything for free

But what does free get you?

NOTHING!

The best way to achieve the success you are after

Is to invest.

Whether that be money, time or both

The minute you commit something that costs you

You are automatically more invested

This increases your chances of success straight away

This isn't contained to your own private goals

This can be applied to society

Look at so many working class areas today

Vandalism, destruction, antisocial behaviour is commonplace 

Why?

Because it costs them nothing!

The councils and governments pay for it all

The people themselves have no investment in their areas

Imagine the difference if the people who lived there where to put their time and money into their own areas?

If a sense of pride of where they are from was restored!

The gangs of youths who fall into this way of life would not be allowed to do this

The people would be policing their own areas, holding the locals accountable for their actions

Free is appealing, free is what we have been conditioned to want but free is not the answer! 

Free was not the way of our grandparents and the society they grew up in was a much socially healthier way of life than the one we live in today.

The fights inside our minds that we all are dealing with

•Not letting the voice in our head control us

•Finding the courage to join a gym

•Getting out of bed to train

•Saying no to food we want

When we overcome these small things, we have successfully won the battle.

We are one step closer to winning the war

But instead, so many of us we focus on what we think others will think.

What we think others are saying and we then let these thoughts dictate our actions that ultimately determine our outcomes

Social media is a breeding ground for insecurities.

Unless there are HUGE changes in someones physique or they have a sixpack or an ass that stops traffic, it goes largely unnoticed and so we are conditioned to believe that this is what matters and so many start to ignore what actually matters, the conquering of another small obstacle that takes you one step closer to winning your own war.

When you stop focusing on what the outside says you should be doing and instead put your energy towards focusing on you and what you want and need, you will start to realise that the only person in this war is you and all that matters is achieving what you need to in order to become who it is you want to be

What sort of attitude do you have when it comes to your health?

Is it driving your towards your goal or pulling you away from it?

If it is the latter, have you ever stopped and asked yourself why it is this way?

Have you ever considered that this attitude is the reason you aren’t as happy as you want to be?

That maybe this attitude is also leaching into other areas of your life and that if you focus on changing this one thing, that the rest of your life might start clicking together?

EVERYTHING that happens in your life is determined by your attitude towards it

Discomfort is part of life

Challenge is part of life

Failing is part of life

But if you continue to allow these things to dictate your decisions, then you won’t ever learn how to enjoy and live your life!