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🤣 Welcome back to Dam Internet, You Scary! — where comedy meets creepy! This week, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud are joined by Malcolm Barrett (Timeless, The Boys, Genius) and Roxxy Haze for an unhinged conversation about:

Fish buttholes evolving into human fingers (yeah, science said that)

The Michigan Dogman sightings

Wildest serial killer nicknames

Halloween freestyles gone wrong

And the movie scenes that cost MILLIONS just to film

💀 From creepy legends to wild science facts — this episode is full of chaos, laughs, and “did they really say that?” moments.

Guests: Malcolm Barrett https://www.instagram.com/verbalberappin

Roxxy Haze  @roxxyhaze   Help Roxxy Heal: Surgery and Therapy Support https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-roxxy-heal-surgery-and-therapy-support

Join our Patreon now!! 

https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

00:00 – “I Don’t Do a Lot” 🤥 — Catching up with Malcolm Barrett & Roxy

01:15 – “Sensitive Mode Isn’t Real” 📱

03:12 – “Zoo Cousins & Dolphin Crimes” 🐬

05:00 – “Broke with 2 Shows on BET” 💸

06:40 – “Halloween Freestyle Goes Left Fast” 🎃

09:30 – “We Came From Fish Buttholes” 🐟➡️🖐️

13:20 – “So Fingers Were Booty Muscles?” 😭

15:00 – “Albert Fish: The Real-Life Horror” 🔪

19:00 – “Serial Killer Names Were CRAZY” 😈

20:00 – 💨 Ad Read – In The Cloud 🍃 (Use Code DIY for 30% Off)

23:00 – “The Houston Bayou Killer” 🌊

25:00 – “The First 48 Logic” 🕵️‍♂️

26:00 – “Graffiti or Hieroglyphics?” 🏺

28:00 – “Dogmen in Michigan?! Real or Nah?” 🐺

36:00 – 💊 Ad Read – BlueChew (Promo Code DIY)

38:00 – “Movie Sets That Shut Down Cities” 🎬

42:00 – “Fun Facts That Sound Fake But Are Real” 🧠

44:00 – “Bananas Are Berries, Strawberries Ain’t!” 🍌🍓

46:00 – “Chins: Humans Only Club” 😏

49:00 – “3 Trillion Trees & Spider Body Doubles” 🌳🕷️

52:00 – “The Moon is Literally Leaving Us” 🌝➡️

55:00 – “A Dam Shifted Earth’s Axis?! 🌎”

57:00 – “The Scientists Just Don’t Care Anymore 😂”

59:00 – “Closing Shenanigans + Roxy’s GoFundMe” ❤️

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This week on Dam Internet, You Scary!, we’re joined by actor, artist, and host Khleo Thomas (aka Mr. Slick Living)! 🎬 From wild hookup stories and fast-food conspiracies to Skinwalker Ranch and the Battle of Los Angeles, this episode is packed with hilarious takes and creepy tales.

👉 Watch as we break down:

The weirdest celebrity brand deals (Vax That Thang Up, McDonald’s meals, & more)

The Popeyes vs. KFC debate 🍗

Skinwalker Ranch mysteries 👽

Wildest dating experiences you won’t believe 🤯

When LA called 911 over the Milky Way

🔥 Don’t miss Khleo’s updates on New York Comic-Con, his latest films, and his live shows!

Hosts  @tahirmoore  @PatrickCloudChannel

Guest  @KhleoThomasTV https://www.instagram.com/khleothomas

Producer  @HippieGoals https://www.hippiegoals.com

✅ Like, comment, & subscribe for weekly laughs and scares!

✅ Follow us everywhere: @DamnInternetYouScary

🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts & Spotify

00:00 – Inflatable Buzz Lightyear costume nostalgia

01:04 – Introducing Khleo Thomas (aka Mr. Slick Living)

02:18 – Halloween costumes & Colonel Sanders talk

06:09 – Popeyes vs. KFC: Who really wins?

09:21 – The wildest fast-food brand deals

13:21 – “Vax That Thang Up” & celebrity endorsements gone too far

15:34 – Ad Break – Kickoff Credit Builder

18:36 – Where’s the line for brand deals?

19:26 – Clone-a-Willy deal 

21:20 – Internet toxicity & social media grind

23:35 – Dating a lesbian… gone wrong

25:31 – Wildest hookup adventures (yes, little person story)

29:41 – DoorDash order stops a kidnapping?!

33:02 – Creepy Story: Skinwalker Ranch & Navajo witches

38:02 – WTF is a cow fistula?

39:04 – Disturbing origins of STDs

41:42 – When LA mistook the Milky Way for UFOs

42:27 – Battle of Los Angeles: Were aliens involved?

43:34 – Wrapping up: Khleo’s Comic-Con, films, and projects

Sponsored by PrizePicks 🎯

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👍 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT & SUBSCRIBE for more unfiltered comedy every week.

🔔 Hit the bell so you don’t miss a new episode!

Get ready for wild laughs and outrageous confessions in this week’s Dam Internet, You Scary! with our favorite little sister, Roxxy. From debating donuts 🍩 to cosplay in the bedroom 🎭, waterproof sheets 💦, and even Back to the Future plot holes ⏳—this episode is as unfiltered as it gets.

We cover:

Big boob struggles and bra fails 👚

The Batman-level prep women carry in their bags 👜

Cosplay confessions (yes, Bowser & Sailor Moon get a mention!)

Donut debates: long johns vs éclairs vs cronuts 🍩

Chokeslam sex stories 🤯

Victorian cough drops with cocaine 😳

Racist branding history & weird products

Matching tattoo talk ✒️

Plus Roxxy’s most savage hookup stories 👀

This one’s full of hilarious chaos, wild tangents, and Roxxy being Roxxy.

Join our Patreon now!! 

https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

00:00 – Awkward Muscle Relaxer Jokes

01:00 – The Big Boob Struggles

03:00 – Bra Placement & “Titty Rolling”

05:00 – The Female Batman Utility Belt

06:00 – Roxxy’s “Spend the Night” Bag

08:00 – The Waterproof Sheet Debate

10:00 – Clean Up & Get Out?! Savage Stories

12:00 – Roxxy on Being a Switch

13:00 – Cosplay in the Bedroom

15:00 – Donut Talk: Long Johns vs Éclairs

20:00 – Ad Read: PrizePicks

22:30 – Favorite Donuts & Glazed Debates

29:00 – Victorian Cough Drops with Cocaine?!

32:00 – Racist Toothpaste Brands Exposed

35:00 – Would You Get a Matching Tattoo?

38:00 – Persians Debated Drunk & Sober

39:30 – Ad Read: BetterHelp

42:00 – Financial Dom & Sugar Baby Talk

45:00 – Yelp Reviews for Sex?

46:30 – Spitting, Slapping & Fishhooking?!

50:00 – Chokeslams During Sex

51:30 – Back to the Future Plot Holes

54:00 – The Back to the Future Musical

59:00 – Anime-Themed OnlyFans?

1:00:00 – Gigantic Men & Chokeslam Stories

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Welcome back to another episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! with Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud. Today we dive into everything from the fear of oceans 🌊 to astronauts peeing in space 🚀, wild inventions, classic cars 🚗, and some of the funniest “what if” scenarios you’ll ever hear.

🔥 In This Episode:

Are oceans scarier than Chicago at night? 🌃

The struggle of dieting vs. Doritos temptation 🧀

Sex, naps & fitness priorities 😅

Hypotheticals: What if grass was lotion? 💧

Astronaut pee devices & living in space 🤯

Wild story: Man walking across the world 🌍

BMWs, Deloreans & dream rides 🚗

📣 Call to Action

👉 Don’t forget to LIKE 👍🏽, COMMENT 💬 your wildest hypothetical, and SUBSCRIBE 🔔 for more episodes every week.

🎥 Watch Tahir’s comedy special "Aging Out" on YouTube, Apple TV & Prime!

🎤 Catch Tahir on tour – San Diego, Sacramento & more!

📺 Check out Patrick’s show We Trippin on YouTube/ and Planet Sandwich on Twitch, live every Wednesday

00:00 – Intro & Ocean Fears 🌊

03:20 – Chicago, NYC & LA Stereotypes 🏙️

07:15 – Weight Loss Struggles & Food Temptations 🍗

13:40 – Discipline, Doritos & Dieting 🤣

18:05 – Sex, Fitness & Getting Older 💪🏽

25:00 – Wild Hypothetical Questions (Grass, Lotion & Napkins?!) 🤯

31:00 – If Money Didn’t Exist 💵

38:10 – Disrespect in the Midwest ✋🏽

45:00 – DUIs & Countries That Ban You 🚫✈️

50:30 – Ad Read: BlueChew 🔵🍆

55:10 – Astronaut Pee Problems & Space Life 🚀

01:03:00 – Surviving a Month in Space 🌌

01:10:30 – Walking Across the World 🌍

01:17:30 – Content Creators Changing Lives 🎥

01:23:40 – Ad Read: Cash App 💵📲

01:29:00 – Classic Cars, BMWs & Dream Rides 🚗

01:42:00 – Wrapping Up: Tours, Shows & Merch 🎤👕.

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If you dropped it… would you still eat it? Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud kick off with the ultimate floor-food debate, spin it into a “Don’t Touch the Spaghetti” improv bit that escalates hilariously, then dive into streamer controversies, IRL etiquette, security vs. clout, and a wild bear-vs-wolf standoff. Plus: two sponsor offers inside.

Highlights: five-second-rule logic, Gordon Ramsay hypotheticals, Monica Lewinsky/media culture, school safety in the social-media era, stream-sniping, when security should step in, “realest” rappers, Chicago myths vs. reality, and an animal-kingdom face-off. New DIYS every week—pull up!

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• 💬 Comment: What food (if any) would you still eat after it hits the floor?

• 📺 Catch Planet Sandwich live, Wednesdays @ 6 PM PT

• 📺 Watch Tahir's special "Aging Out"

• 📺 Catch "Churchy" and "The Hospital" on BET/BET+

• 📤 Share this episode with a friend who loves chaotic hypotheticals

Join our Patreon now!!

  / daminternetyouscary 

00:00 – Cold Open: Trash juice & floor-food rules

01:24 – The “Don’t Touch the Spaghetti” game setup

03:09 – Uber driver, repast spaghetti & ridiculous escalation

05:10 – Are we doing this right now? How the bit works

06:01 – What would you eat out of the trash (top layer only)?

07:28 – Fruit vs. veggies: rinse, slice, or pass

10:11 – Reality-show kitchen disaster: serving… trash spaghetti?

11:26 – “Yes, and”: building the world of the bit

12:57 – Accidentally killing Gordon Ramsay?! Career pivot talk

15:22 – Monica Lewinsky, presidents & power + media culture

20:08 – AD: BlueChew (Offer)

21:31 – Back to the dress, late-90s context, school drills

25:09 – WorldStar to TikTok: why fights aren’t worth it

27:30 – Streamer incident breakdown & consequences

31:00 – Streaming pitfalls: who’s around you matters

35:00 – IRL streaming, stream-sniping & safety

36:02 – AD: BetterHelp (Offer)

38:59 – Security vs. clout: when to let pros handle it

40:09 – DaBaby incidents & “realest rapper” debate

42:16 – King Von discussion & Chicago realities

44:13 – Chicago is beautiful (travel notes & downtown rule)

47:00 – 6'8" car-review friend & insane life stories

49:20 – Animal Planet logic: size really matters

51:21 – Bear vs. massive wolf: hour-long standoff

52:23 – Plugs: tours, projects & Planet Sandwich live

52:57 – Outro: Thanks, Scary Squad!

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Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! Patrick Cloud & Tahir Moore dive deep into content creation, streaming vs rap, the wild story of meth-addicted monks, and Shaq’s jaw-dropping business empire. From childhood toys to hotel gyms and positive affirmations, the conversation is as hilarious as it is real.

00:00 – Turning hobbies into content pressure

02:15 – Who’s more influential: rappers or streamers?

05:30 – Comedians and the rise of streaming

09:50 – Twitch, music, and new creator opportunities

11:40 – AD: PrizePicks Promo

13:10 – Meth monks in Thailand?!

16:30 – Shaq’s wild business empire & investments

20:40 – Shaq’s $27M private jet

25:30 – Bill Gates’ Porsche loophole

28:10 – Childhood toys, games & music memories

33:40 – Chasing perfection vs. just creating

38:20 – Losing the fun in content creation

41:00 – Audience pressure & cancel fears

44:40 – Kai Cenat & authenticity in streaming

46:00 – AD: Factor Meals Promo

48:10 – Tahir’s Chicago food adventures

52:20 – Hotel gyms & rooftop gardens

57:00 – Positive affirmations & discipline

59:20 – Churchy season news & acting updates

01:01:40 – Outro & Twitch plug

💬 Comment below: Do you think streamers have replaced rappers as the new stars?

📺 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT & SUBSCRIBE to help us hit 100K subscribers!

Follow us everywhere:

Instagram/TikTok: @DamInternetYouScary

Hosts: @patrickcloudchannel @tahirmoore

Producer: @hippiegoals

Join our Patreon now!! 

https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

🔥 Sponsored by BetterHelp – Get 10% off your first month of therapy: betterhelp.com/diys

💰 Sponsored by PrizePicks – Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DIYS and use code DIYS and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup!

💳 Sponsored by CashApp – Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/crftch8p #CashAppPod As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Another wild episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! with hosts Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud featuring guest Dion Lack. This week we discuss:

Could Will Smith really have been Neo in The Matrix?

Why the I Am Legend dog scene broke us 😭

Pregnant robots in China 👶🤖

A crocodile’s virgin birth 🐊

No-melt ice cream 🍦

Cartoon roommates from hell 🏠

And why aliens might actually be PURPLE 👽

🔔 Hit the bell so you never miss an episode.

🎤 Follow the hosts:  @PatrickCloudChannel  @tahirmoore

Guest:  @LacktoastEnt   https://www.instagram.com/dionlack

Producer:  @HippieGoals  

🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts & Spotify

Join our Patreon now!! 

https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

0:00 – Don’t Drop the Spaghetti Game

1:24 – Welcome Back 

3:30 – Will Smith Almost Starred in The Matrix

7:00 – Hiking Therapy & BetterHelp Ad

11:34 – Patrick Cloud’s Birthday Surprise

13:00 – Will Smith’s Best Emotional Scenes

20:01 – Mannequins & I Am Legend Dog Debate

27:00 – Diseases & Sickle Cell Myths

30:10 – Beaver Booty Vanilla?!

31:13 – Worst Cartoon Roommates

34:09 – Funniest Animals If They Could Talk

37:34 – PrizePicks Ad (Sports Betting)

39:34 – Wild “Would You Rather?” Scenarios

42:31 – Pregnant Robots in China

45:30 – Crocodile Virgin Birth Discovery

50:20 – Scientists Create No-Melt Ice Cream

53:41 – Funnel Cakes vs Pancakes

56:00 – CashApp Ad (Promo Code DIYs)

59:00 – The Greater Glider Animal Facts

1:01:15 – WWII POW Mistaken as “Crazy”

1:04:30 – Purple Aliens Could Be Real?

1:07:00 – Space Isn’t Always Cold?!

1:09:20 – Solar Winds & Final Thoughts

1:09:45 – Upcoming Shows & Comedy Specials

1:11:07 – Closing

Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud sit down with Big Irish Jay for a wild ride through zombie squirrels (squirrel fibromatosis), cocaine-laced shrimp, an FDA warning on radioactive shrimp, and the long-running Denver International Airport conspiracy—plus Alaska Triangle vanishings and the first attempted homicide in Antarctica. It’s equal parts creepy, hilarious, and “why is this happening?”

Tap in, laugh with us, and drop your favorite conspiracy in the comments 🧪🐿️🛫

👍 If you laughed, hit Like

🔔 Subscribe for weekly weirdness

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00:00 — Cold open & mic chaos

00:28 — Intro: Dam Internet, You Scary! + guest Big Irish Jay

01:38 — Losing weight on the road (energy, exploring cities)

02:43 — 185 lbs down & sweating on stage no more

03:47 — Icebreaker: If you were a Transformer… what everyday object?

05:19 — Drone, air fryer, phone or…? (the debate spirals)

07:32 — Zombie apocalypse: who’s the most useless celebrity? 😬

18:58 — Sponsor: Deodorant read that goes off the rails

21:21 — Travel, AC wars & “The List” plug

23:05 — Topic kick-off: “Zombie squirrels” sighted

23:25 — Why they look like that (fibromatosis, pox family)

26:23 — Rabbits with “horns” (Shope papilloma) & why you shouldn’t touch wildlife

27:20 — Hood tours in real neighborhoods… bad idea

29:26 — Shrimp test positive for cocaine (UK freshwater study)

33:14 — Sponsor: Credit builder (Kikoff)

35:27 — FDA flags radioactive shrimp recall (what to avoid)

39:21 — Denver Airport conspiracies: blue horse, murals, gargoyles

44:55 — Sponsor: BlueChew—legendary ad read

47:29 — “Damn That’s Creepy”: Alaska Triangle disappearances

50:08 — Volcano/alien base tales & USOs from the water

51:08 — Viral athlete name controversy (the “ultimate pass” hats)

55:10 — Antarctica’s first attempted homicide… over book spoilers

01:01:06 — Big Irish Jay tour dates (Rapid City, Tucson, Manteca)

01:01:55 — Show plugs: BET+ “Churchy” 

01:02:40 — Wrap up

Join our Patreon now!! 

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Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet! This episode is sponsored by Better Help.

Summer nostalgia fades, animal parts get weird, and cinnamon shocks us all. In this hilarious Dam Internet, You Scary! episode, we debate the BEST and WORST seasons, try to survive an “animal body part” challenge, get grossed out by fertilized eggs, and salute beavers who saved $1.2 million.

We also dive into:

🐿 Carnivorous squirrels?!

🥩 Exotic meats we’d try (or avoid)

🌿 Cinnamon’s surprising origin

🐚 Soft-shell crabs—disturbing or delicious?

Plus, find out which exotic dish we’d serve our moms and which one we’d rather cook ourselves.

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🎧 Subscribe for more wild stories, bizarre facts, and Internet chaos.

#DamInternetYouScary #ComedyPodcast #WeirdFacts #Animals #ExoticFood

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00:00 – Summer doesn’t hit the same

00:42 – Best & worst seasons debate

01:03 – “Static Sporadic” tongue twister

02:14 – Jill Scott theme song moment

04:33 – August birthdays & famous Leos

05:26 – Jason Momoa’s surprising best role

07:01 – Leo traits: stubborn or frugal?

07:23 – Which animal part would you want?

10:03 – Brisket cravings & snack talk

11:49 – Fertilized eggs… in grocery stores?!

13:18 – Could you cook a chick by accident?

15:58 – Caviar bumps & Wagyu beef hype

22:37 – Soft-shell crabs = molting nightmares

25:43 – One’s Gotta Go: eyebrows, teeth, hair, nails

27:45 – Building a 4,000-year-old style house

33:20 – Beavers save $1.2 million

37:32 – Cinnamon comes from tree bark?!

44:15 – Carnivorous California squirrels

50:34 – Cook, Eat, Serve challenge: raccoon, shark, iguana

59:44 – Exotic meats we’d try

01:01:07 – Camel hump & other weird eats

01:01:27 – Closing & upcoming tour dates

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Would YOU trade a live alligator for a beer? One Florida man did—because of course he did. 🐊🍺

In this outrageous episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir and Patrick cover:

Unhinged Florida Man headlines that will break your brain 😵

A mysterious glowing orb found deep in the ocean 🌊

The allegedly cursed town of Dudleytown, CT 👻

Pee breaks that last forever and public poop confessions 💩

The true drama behind Adidas vs. Puma 👟

What they’d be doing in witness protection (spoiler: power-washing pirate porn star?)

You came for the chaos—and we delivered.

👇 SOUND OFF IN THE COMMENTS:

What would YOUR fake name be in witness protection?

 00:00 - Blueberries Ain’t Got No Flavor?! 🍓  

01:15 - Why We’re Canceling the Ice Cream Truck Song 🚫  

02:00 - Aging Hits Different: Big Fonts & Bigger Naps  

03:30 - Public Poop Confessions & Long Pee Struggles 💀  

09:15 - Why Drinking Water Makes You Pee Like Crazy  

12:00 - Florida Man Mad Libs Begin! 🧂  

14:30 - What?!  Down His Pants at Walmart?!  

16:30 -  Robbery at Chinese Restaurant 😳  

18:40 - Florida Man Blames WHAT? for Driving into Ditch  

20:00 - Random Weapon Attack?!   

22:00 - Guess in the comments?! (For Real)  

24:30 - Bluetooth Ad - Wild Taglines & Bricked Up Lies  

26:15 - Creepy Conspiracy: Curse of Dudleytown 👻  

30:00 - A Glowing Orb Found Deep in the Ocean 🌊  

33:45 - Antarctica’s Creepy New Sea Creatures 🧊  

36:00 - All Pizza Chains Use the SAME Cheese?! 🧀  

39:00 - Adidas vs Puma: A Family Betrayal Story 👟  

44:00 - Witness Protection Game: Fake Jobs & Names  

48:00 - Power Washers, Pirates, and Paula Darlene  

56:00 - Legally a Menace to Society?! 🤯  

59:00 - Wrapping Up: Upcoming Tours + Scary Squad Shoutout  

—

✅ Subscribe to join the Scary Squad!

New episodes every week with more chaos, conspiracies, and comedy.

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