We open at the milk bar as Kelly and Amy recap Victoria S1E4 and really get to know the "enthralling but prickly" Albert. The also delve into the upside of the opiod epidemic, declare England to be the Kentucky of Europe, wonder where servants sign up to get in on the scamming, suggest that Alex Jones should change his name, shame Vicky's fat-shaming, cheer the invention of philately, reminisce about horrifying Sesame Street movies, defend the Windsor uniform, and geek out about the Downton Abbey movie. Kelly has a Dench obsession, Amy has lady-in-waiting blindness, and everyone agrees it could be worse.

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