In this episode of Dating In Your 20s, hosts Amelia and Lilly unpack how internalized beauty standards influence not only who people find attractive—but who they believe they're allowed to date.

Drawing from both personal experience and a therapeutic lens, the hosts explore how messages from media, family, and culture shape unconscious dating rules: who is considered "out of your league," what kinds of relationships feel validating, and why some connections feel more like social proof than genuine partnership.

They also explore how these standards intersect with body image, race, gender, and desirability politics, and how shame, comparison, and perfectionism often show up in the dating process. Through reflective questions and psychological insight, the episode challenges listeners to consider whether they're dating based on true connection or based on who they think they're supposed to be with.

This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt not “hot enough,” settled because of insecurity, or chased validation through dating. It invites listeners to move away from hierarchy-based attraction and toward dating with clarity, confidence, and emotional authenticity.
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In this episode, we discuss:

• The roots of beauty standards and how they shape attraction
• The emotional impact of “leagues,” comparison, and dating from insecurity
• Attachment theory and how early experiences influence who we pursue
• The difference between connection and validation
• Practical tools for unlearning dating patterns shaped by internalized standards

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect with the hosts:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

Let’s be honest: conflict in your 20s can feel like emotional quicksand. In this episode, Amelia and Lilly are digging into what really happens when things get tense in romantic relationships—and why your instinct to shut down, fix everything immediately, or launch into defense mode actually makes a lot of sense (but might not be helping).

Amelia and Lilly introduce a concept called Conflict Languages—think love languages, but for when you’re spiraling mid-disagreement. From ghosting and freezing to blaming and peacemaking at warp speed, we explore how our go-to conflict styles are shaped by old wounds, family dynamics, and that fun blend of anxiety + people-pleasing.

“We’re not here to tell you how to fight “right,” but we are here to help you make sense of what’s happening under the surface—and how to stay connected (to yourself and your partner) when things get hard.”

Therapy-Informed Takeaways:

• Conflict feels terrifying when you’ve never seen it modeled in a healthy way.
• Your conflict style—avoid, fix, freeze, blame—isn’t random. It’s rooted in protection.
• Avoidance can look like ghosting, shutting down, or pretending it’s fine (it’s not).
• Fix-it-fast mode usually shows up when anxiety hijacks the conversation.
• Blame + deflect? That’s your nervous system trying to stay in control.
• The freeze response often leads to silent resentment and unmet needs.
• Knowing your conflict language helps you communicate before things escalate.
• Self-awareness turns conflict from a power struggle into a chance to grow.
• Healthy conflict isn’t the absence of tension—it’s the presence of repair.

Related Episodes:

• Dating in Your 20s Series: Putting Yourself Out There
• Dating in Your 20s Series: Self-Growth Through Dating Reflection

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

In this episode, Lilly and Amelia unpack the complicated relationship between alcohol and dating in your 20s. From social drinking norms to the deeper psychological patterns behind why we reach for a drink on first dates, this conversation explores what happens when alcohol becomes a default part of how we connect—and what it might be covering up.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why alcohol is so often part of the dating script
• The pressure to drink in social and romantic settings
• How alcohol impacts communication, consent, and emotional safety
• When drinking helps—and when it hinders—authentic connection
• The link between anxiety, attachment styles, and alcohol use in dating\
• Therapist-approved strategies for reflecting on your habits and building confidence without substances

Key Takeaways:

• Internal check-in questions to ask yourself before or after a date
• Healthy alternatives to alcohol when managing social anxiety
• Tips for exploring sober curiosity or mindful drinking in your dating life

Note:

We’re not anti-drinking—but we are pro-intention. Whether you drink regularly, socially, or not at all, this episode is a chance to reflect on how alcohol shows up in your love life—and what kind of connection you’re really looking for.

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect with the hosts:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

Dating in your 20s can feel like one long experiment in emotional exposure. In this episode, Amelia and Lilly dive into the vulnerable (and sometimes deeply uncomfortable) act of putting yourself out there—whether that’s through dating apps, awkward singles events, or blind dates arranged by your parents (yes, really).

We talk about:

• The shame spiral of wearing a name tag at a singles event
• When a backhanded compliment sticks with you for way too long
• Why your nervous system might be louder than your gut sometimes
• How dating apps mess with our need to be both authentic and “appealing”
• And what it means to show up as yourself without a safety net

We’re not promising dating hacks, but we are breaking down the psychology behind what makes it all feel so high-stakes—and how to stay connected to yourself through the mess of it.

Therapy-Informed Takeaways:

• Vulnerability is necessary for connection—but it can feel like danger if rejection has been part of your story.
• Singles events can be surprisingly helpful for practicing presence in low-stakes environments.
• Dating apps ask us to curate and perform. Real connection asks for something entirely different.
• Rejection—especially ghosting—activates the same pain centers as physical injury. You’re not overreacting.
• Your body tells you a lot: tension, fatigue, or even a clenched jaw are signals worth listening to.
• Building self-trust means getting good at hearing your “no” and honoring your “yes.”

Related Episodes:

• Dating in Your 20s - Self-Growth Through Dating Reflection
• Dating in Your 20s - Attachment Styles with Hilary Rosenberg

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

This week, Lilly and Amelia break down Materialists, the buzzy new film from Celine Song, through a therapeutic and cultural lens. From transactional love to the myth of the “perfect partner,” they explore how the movie reflects real dating struggles in your 20s—especially when ambition, wealth, and emotional intimacy collide.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The blurred line between love and transaction
• Emotional intimacy vs. financial stability
• The myth of the ideal partner (and the math behind it)
• What materialism says about modern dating culture
• How attachment styles and trauma histories influence who we’re drawn to
• Tools for reflecting on your own dating patterns

Listener Reflection Prompts:

• Have you ever dated someone for comfort or security?
• What do you value most in a partner—emotional connection, financial stability, adventure, or something else?
• What has your 20s taught you about the real cost of love?

Don’t forget:

There are spoilers! And we’d love to hear your thoughts—DM us, follow us on tiktok, or reach out to us via the link below!
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd3mHOALjsJVjPa5C-9oKNkRvp7jIhzKaPbDddEXC4PLjz1iw/viewform

Connect with the hosts:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com

It’s not just ghosting anymore. From breadcrumbing and benching to orbiting and love bombing, today’s dating landscape has a whole new vocabulary—and it’s not just about decoding the terms. In this episode, Lilly and Amelia go beyond definitions to unpack the why: Why are these behaviors so common? What psychological needs are they meeting? And most importantly, what emotional impact do they leave behind?

In this episode, we discuss:

• What breadcrumbing, benching, ghosting, and love bombing actually mean
• The psychological and emotional motivations behind these behaviors
• The impact these patterns have on self-worth, trust, and relationship expectations
• Why we sometimes tolerate these dynamics longer than we should

Therapist Insights:

• Tools for protecting your emotional energy and responding with intention
• Reflection questions for understanding your own patterns and boundaries in dating

Reflection Prompts:

• Have you ever felt strung along or “kept on the bench”?
• What stories do you tell yourself when someone gives you just enough attention to stay?
• How do you want to feel in your relationships, and what needs to shift for that to happen?

Closing Thoughts:

Dating trends might be constantly evolving, but emotional accountability still matters. This episode is about calling out the bullsh*t—not just to complain, but to better understand ourselves and advocate for healthier connections.

Dating In Your 20s Anonymous Corner

We'd love to hear from you! Check out the anonymous DIY20s Form. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share what’s going on in your love life.

Connect with the hosts:

Lilly Wehman: Millennium | LinkedIn
Amelia Abernathy: Millennium | Linkedin
 

This podcast is powered by Millennium Counseling Center in Chicago, IL. To learn more visit: millenniumhope.com