Dawack In Da Morning

Monday, October 26, 2026

Holiday Roundup: National Pumpkin Day, National Mule Day, National Chicken Fried Steak Day, and Worldwide Howl at the Moon Night!

Celebrity Birthdays: Seth MacFarlane, Keith Urban, Pat Sajak, Hillary Clinton, Jon Heder, Jaclyn Smith, and more!

Notable Deaths: Remembering Hattie McDaniel, legendary concert promoter Bill Graham, and other historical figures.

This Day in History: The O.K. Corral gunfight, the opening of the Erie Canal, the end of the Pony Express, and the dawn of commercial jet travel.

This Day in Music: Whitney Houston's first No. 1 hit, Ted Turner's short-lived MTV competitor, and the legacy of Bill Graham.

Stupid News: An angry bird terrorizes an airport, electric bicycles become medieval jousting equipment, a ridiculously long freight train, and a kitten named Freeway!

Shooting the Bull: Things that prove it's Monday, ridiculous pumpkin-spice inventions, and bizarre facts you probably didn't need to know.

DaWack Horriblescopes: Twelve zodiac signs, twelve terrible predictions, and absolutely no refunds!

Plus random jokes, questionable observations, and the usual Monday morning madness!

🎧 New episodes Mondays & Fridays!

🌐 www.zackdawack.com

Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify & Amazon Music and everywhere you get podcasts

[email protected]

984-329-2251

zackdawack.com

Gin, Regrets & Other Monday Disasters

Monday, October 19, 2026 

We're celebrating National Seafood Bisque Day, National New Friends Day, Evaluate Your Life Day, and International Gin and Tonic Day.

Apparently, we're supposed to evaluate our lives, make new friends, eat fancy soup, and drink gin. Sounds like a midlife crisis at a country club!

Birthday shout-outs to John Lithgow, Evander Holyfield, Jon Favreau, Trey Parker, Pat Simmons, Jennifer Holliday, and more!

Plus, remembering Jonathan Swift, Don Cherry, Spencer Davis, and other notable figures who departed this world on October 19.

We're traveling through time with the British surrender at Yorktown, the first Blockbuster Video store, John DeLorean's infamous arrest, the 1987 Black Monday stock market crash, and the arrival of supersonic Concorde service in New York.

AC/DC hits the road with Brian Johnson, A-ha takes America by storm with "Take On Me," the Yardbirds bring Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page to the States, and Oasis begins its journey toward rock-and-roll greatness and brotherly warfare.

We're turning the clock back 20 years for a Casey Kasem-inspired countdown of America's Top 10 hits!

Featuring Nickelback, Weird Al Yankovic, Snow Patrol, The Fray, Hinder, Ludacris, and Justin Timberlake bringing sexy back!

A truckload of French fries catches fire on a Utah highway. Talk about extra crispy!

A Texas estate sale delivers six unexpected World War II grenades.

A Pokémon competitor's body odor causes a tournament stink.

A runaway inflatable pumpkin makes its escape.

Giant meat-eating crabs complicate an Amelia Earhart mystery expedition.

A mischievous cat helps itself to the neighbor's dog food.

Plus, smart basketballs, experimental hair banking, and other signs that civilization may have peaked sometime around 1987.

We're dishing out Monday morning misery, pumpkin-spiced products nobody needs, hilarious social media observations, weird facts, small-town jokes, and a little wisdom that probably shouldn't be taken seriously.

Life is short, stupidity is forever, and if Monday gives you lemons, put them in a gin and tonic and call it a holiday!

🌐 Website: www.zackdawack.com

☎️ Call: 984-DAWACK-1 (984-329-2251)

🎧 Like, follow, subscribe, and share the show with your favorite wackos, weirdos, dingbats, and jello heads!

New episodes Mondays and Fridays!

DaWack in da Morning | Friday, October 16, 2026

It's Friday, the weekend is knocking, common sense has left the building, and the Nut Hut is officially open for business!

Zack Da Wack is back behind the microphone at Studio E for another gloriously inappropriate edition of DaWack in da Morning!

This week's collection of questionable entertainment includes:

🎉 DaWack Holiday Roundup — World Bread Day, Global Cat Day, National Boss's Day, Dictionary Day, National Liqueur Day and World Food Day. Because apparently even bread and booze need their own holidays.

🪦 Famous Departures — Remembering Marie Antoinette, George C. Marshall, Liam Payne, Ace Frehley and other notable names.

📜 This Day in History — From Marie Antoinette losing her head to Disney getting its start, the election of Pope John Paul II and other moments that shaped the world.

🎸 This Day in Music — Little Richard, Elvis Presley, Patsy Cline, Jimi Hendrix, CCR, Stevie Wonder, Hall & Oates and Rick Dees proving that even a disco duck can become a number-one hit.

🎂 Celebrity Birthdays — Celebrating Angela Lansbury, Suzanne Somers, John Mayer, Bryce Harper, Bob Weir, Gary Kemp and Wendy Wilson.

🤪 Stupid News — Hundreds of Spider-Men invade New York, kittens visit an aquarium, a daredevil crushes a cardboard box, an opossum gets into trouble and a grandmother holds a plank longer than most people can stay awake.

🐂 Shooting the Shit — Annoying songs stuck in your head, tipping fatigue, life advice, bizarre British place names, sneaker secrets and more everyday nonsense.

🧠 Did You Know? — Three-hearted octopuses, cube-pooping wombats, questionable berries and other facts nobody asked for.

💩 Bits — Signs you're getting old, wardrobe disasters, wacky driving instructors, workplace wisdom and jokes that probably shouldn't be repeated at the office.

🔮 DaWack's Friday Horriblescopes — Twelve zodiac signs, twelve fresh reasons to question your life choices. The stars aren't judging you. They're just disappointed.

Plus, plenty of wisecracks, questionable observations, Friday foolishness and whatever else falls out of Zack's semi-professionally trained mouth!

🌐 www.zackdawack.com

🎧 New episodes Mondays & Fridays!

Remember: The weekend is almost here, but your common sense has already clocked out!

Monday, October 12, 2026

 Episode Title: Tortoises, Tantrums & Total Bullshit

🇺🇸 Columbus Day / Indigenous Peoples’ Day — Half the country debates history; the other half checks whether the mail is coming.

🚜 National Farmers Day — Without farmers, we’d be eating lawn clippings.

🍲 National Gumbo Day — Throw everything in one pot and call it genius.

🐖 National Pulled Pork Day — Cook a pig until it falls apart faster than your retirement plan.

😱 International Moment of Frustration Scream Day — Finally, a holiday for calling customer service.

🍫 National M&M’s Day — They melt in your mouth—unless it’s July in Georgia.

🧠 Free Thought Day — Independent thought is apparently on backorder.

💰 National Savings Day — Check your bank account, cry, close the app.

🦴 World Arthritis Day — When getting out of bed sounds like crushing Doritos.

🇨🇦 Canadian Thanksgiving — Pass the turkey, eh!

Hugh Jackman — 58

Kirk Cameron — 56

Josh Hutcherson — 34

Bode Miller — 49

Tyler Blackburn — 40

Luciano Pavarotti — Would’ve been 91

Dick Gregory — Would’ve been 94

Ralph Vaughan Williams — Would’ve been 154

DaWack Take: Hugh Jackman has played Wolverine so long, his adamantium skeleton probably qualifies for Medicare.

1870: Robert E. Lee, Confederate general, 63

1940: Tom Mix, Western film star, 60

1969: Sonja Henie, Olympic skater, 57

1985: Ricky Wilson, B-52’s guitarist, 32

1997: John Denver, singer-songwriter, 53

1999: Wilt Chamberlain, basketball legend, 63

2002: Ray Conniff, bandleader, 85

DaWack Take: John Denver sang about mountains, sunshine and country roads. He died doing something he loved—flying.

1492: Columbus’s expedition reaches the Caribbean, launching centuries of European colonization.

1810: Oktoberfest begins in Munich.

1915: British nurse Edith Cavell is executed by German forces during World War I.

1918: Minnesota forest fires kill hundreds.

1945: Combat medic Desmond Doss receives the Medal of Honor.

1960: Khrushchev’s famous UN shoe-banging incident.

1964: Voskhod 1 launches with the first multi-person space crew.

1986: The Reagan-Gorbachev summit ends without an agreement.

2000: The USS Cole bombing kills 17 American sailors.

2002: Bali terrorist bombings kill 202 people.

2007: Al Gore and the UN climate panel win the Nobel Peace Prize.

1944: Frank Sinatra triggers teenage hysteria at New York’s Paramount Theatre.

1957: Little Richard throws diamond rings into an Australian river.

1962: The Beatles open for Little Richard in England.

1969: The Paul McCartney death conspiracy takes off.

1971: Jesus Christ Superstar opens on Broadway.

1974: Blondie performs at CBGB under its new name.

1975: Rod Stewart and the Faces play their final concert together.

1978: Sid Vicious is arrested after Nancy Spungen’s death.

1988: Poison releases “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.”

1991: Nirvana’s Nevermind goes gold.

1997: John Denver dies in a plane crash.

2005: Tommy Lee suffers burns during a Mötley Crüe concert.

DaWack Take: Little Richard threw diamonds into a river. Today, somebody would launch a GoFundMe for scuba divers.

STANDARD TIME PROCEDURE

Researchers say permanent standard time may be healthier than year-round daylight saving time. Morning sunlight helps regulate sleep, while winter sunrises could arrive after 8:30 a.m.

DaWack Take: Nothing says “good morning” like scraping ice off your windshield in the dark.

SMART FOOTWEAR

Scientists created battery-free smart sneakers powered by your footsteps. They track activity with about 95% accuracy.

DaWack Take: My shoes are generating electricity while I’m generating excuses.

SPICY FOOD, SMALLER PORTIONS

A Penn State study found spicy meals slowed eating and reduced food intake by 11–18%.

DaWack Take: Apparently, weight loss requires setting your mouth on fire.

“I don’t know how many versions of the same password I’ve got left in me.”

“I do an insane amount of laundry for someone who wears the same four things.”

“Someone asked my favorite bird, and I panicked: rotisserie chicken.”

“Doctor’s offices: arrive 15 minutes early so the doctor can see you 45 minutes late.”

“After finishing one task, I could become unstoppable—or look at my phone.”

Seashells amplify surrounding noise—not the actual ocean.

Ocean water can take more than 1,000 years to circulate globally.

Your circulatory system stretches roughly 60,000 miles.

Brunch was proposed in 1895 as a hangover-friendly meal.

The first Charmin commercial was filmed in Flushing, New York.

Happy Couples Caught on Tape

Sequestered With Kanye

This Old Mobile House

Survivor: Rikers Island

Who Wants to Get a Vasectomy?

The All You Can Eat Buffet Family Challenge

Random Joke: It’s not the minutes at the table that add weight. It’s the seconds.

Deep Thought: There’s no better excess than gratitude.

🛋️ Couch Cruising in Charlotte

Two men were spotted riding a couch balanced across electric scooters.

DaWack Take: That’s when your car insurance quietly leaves the chat.

🏫 Fake Substitute Teacher From Hell

A Wisconsin woman allegedly impersonated a teacher, insulted students and asked for weed.

DaWack Take: Somebody needs permanent detention.

🐢 Tortoise Traffic Jam

Scientists found roughly 180,000 giant tortoises on a Seychelles island.

DaWack Take: More slow traffic than I-285 on a Friday.

🦈 Sharks Predicting Hurricanes

Scientists are studying sharks to better understand hurricane intensity.

DaWack Take: Coming soon: the Shark Weather Channel, with your forecast from a great white.

🦜 Noah’s Ark Gets Pulled Over

Authorities found 300 tortoises and 77 parrots in a vehicle at a Sicilian port.

DaWack Take: More passengers than a Southwest flight—and twice the squawking.

🤖 Robot Runway Models

A Bangkok fashion show featured a humanoid robot and a robotic dog.

DaWack Take: Even the dog has to be plugged in.

🦝 Rabid Raccoon in Los Angeles

Los Angeles reports its first rabid raccoon in more than 50 years.

DaWack Take: Even the raccoons are fleeing California’s cost of living.

🪦 Tombstone in the Wall

A stolen Little Bighorn tombstone turned up hidden inside a wall.

DaWack Take: Forget the contractor. Call an exorcist.

October 12–18, 2026

Disclaimer: For entertainment only. The stars accept no responsibility for your stupidity.

♈ Aries (Mar 21–Apr 19)

Your confidence is impressive for someone so full of shit. Try listening. Your coworkers are taking bets.

♉ Taurus (Apr 20–May 20)

You’re stubborn, lazy and convinced everyone else is the problem. The stars suggest growth. You suggest they screw themselves.

♊ Gemini (May 21–Jun 20)

Your two personalities are fighting again, and both are losing. Consult your remaining brain cell.

♋ Cancer (Jun 21–Jul 22)

Stop inventing emotional problems. Not every unanswered text is an attack. Sometimes people just don’t like you.

♌ Leo (Jul 23–Aug 22)

You’re not the main character. You’re the loud asshole ruining everyone else’s scene. Try silence for 24 hours.

♍ Virgo (Aug 23–Sep 22)

Your socks are organized, your spices alphabetized and your breakdown scheduled. You’re the zodiac’s most efficient pain in the ass.

♎ Libra (Sep 23–Oct 22)

You’ll spend 45 minutes choosing a restaurant, then order chicken fingers. The universe is embarrassed.

♏ Scorpio (Oct 23–Nov 21)

You suspect everyone because you’re shady yourself. Accept a compliment without opening a criminal investigation.

♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22–Dec 21)

Your mouth writes checks your intelligence can’t cash. Your sarcasm will backfire, and you’ll blame everyone else.

♑ Capricorn (Dec 22–Jan 19)

You work hard, complain constantly and have the personality of a parking meter. Your boss recommends a permanent vacation.

♒ Aquarius (Jan 20–Feb 18)

You think you’re mysterious and brilliant. Everyone else thinks you’re exhausting. Try one conversation without a conspiracy theory.

♓ Pisces (Feb 19–Mar 20)

You live in a fantasy where everyone appreciates your sensitivity. Reality wants its security deposit back.

The stars may guide your destiny, but they can’t fix stupid. That’s a full-time job with no benefits.

🎙️ DaWack in da Morning

Always wacky, never tacky!

Mondays & Fridays | zackdawack.com

Friday, October 9, 2026

It's Finally Freakin' Friday, and Zackarey Ernesto Wackalina the Third is back, running that professionally trained tongue for another outrageous edition of DaWack in da Morning!

Broadcasting from Studio E at the low-rent, sleazy and measly Ramin Jamin Nut Hut Studios outside Atlanta, Zack is serving up a fresh helping of strange news, music history, celebrity birthdays, savage horoscopes, and other assorted crap!

Wacky Holidays: International Beer & Pizza Day, World Egg Day, National Moldy Cheese Day, Leif Erikson Day, and more ridiculous reasons to celebrate.

Celebrity Birthdays: Jackson Browne, Sharon Osbourne, Tony Shalhoub, Scott Bakula, Sean Lennon, Bella Hadid, and a birthday salute to John Lennon.

Notable Deaths: Remembering Oskar Schindler and Saturday Night Live comedian Jan Hooks.

This Day in History: A meteorite destroys a parked car, Strawberry Fields opens in Central Park, Uganda gains independence, and 33 Chilean miners get closer to freedom.

This Day in Music: Prince gets booed opening for the Rolling Stones, Nirvana tops the charts, Ray Charles hits #1, disco meets Beethoven, and somebody totals Missy Elliott's Lamborghini!

Stupid News: Police pull over a motorized couch, a raccoon goes to church, a bear visits a restaurant, a man wins the lottery 50 times, a two-headed turtle makes headlines, and a shark swims down a New Jersey street!

More Weirdness: A 170-pound zucchini, unlicensed robot fights, ghost license plates, senior citizen GPS, and more questionable headlines.

Friday Horriblescopes: All 12 zodiac signs get their weekly dose of brutally sarcastic predictions, cosmic insults, and completely useless advice.

From Aurora to Sonora, Fairfax to Halifax, and all around the world, it's another wild ride through the headlines, history, music, and general stupidity of everyday life.

The often secluded, never diluted, always wacky, never tacky, hot-rockin', flame-throwin' DaWack in da Morning Show!

🎧 Listen at www.zackdawack.com

New episodes Mondays & Fridays!

Monday has returned, and apparently nobody did anything over the weekend to stop it.

Zack Da Wack fires up the Nut Hut for another overloaded Monday edition featuring teachers who deserve hazard pay, wrestlers you probably shouldn't randomly kiss, rock & roll history, bizarre news, questionable facts, horrible horoscopes and enough stupidity to make you reconsider leaving the house.

Today we're celebrating World Teachers' Day, National Do Something Nice Day, National Apple Betty Day, World Habitat Day, World Architecture Day, Child Health Day, National Kiss a Wrestler Day, National Military Podcast Day and National Get Funky Day.

Still waiting on National Washed-Up Radio Guy Screaming Into an RE320 From a Nut Hut Day.

Remembering Dick Butkus, Steve Jobs, Rodney Dangerfield, Eddie Kendricks and Tupperware inventor Earl Tupper.

Forty-three years later, we're still trying to figure out which damn lid fits which container.

Happy birthday to Steve Miller, Brian Johnson, Karen Allen, Bob Geldof, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Mario Lemieux, Patrick Roy, Kate Winslet and Travis Kelce.

Also born October 5: Bernie Mac, Larry Fine, Ray Kroc, Robert Goddard and President Chester A. Arthur.

The Dalton Gang's disastrous double-bank robbery, the first World Series radio broadcast, Laura Ingalls' transcontinental flight, Harry Truman's first televised White House address, Earl Warren becoming Chief Justice, the bombing of Clinton High School, Monty Python's Flying Circus premiering, Laurie Skreslet reaching Everest and Marc Garneau becoming the first Canadian in space.

A monster October 5:

The Beatles release “Love Me Do.”

Plus Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Kelly Clarkson, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter make chart history.

October 5 brought us Gilmore Girls and Reba, along with Training Day, Serendipity, A Star Is Born, Breakfast at Tiffany's and The Ten Commandments.

New movies include Digger, Verity and Rolling Loud.

Plus: methane-tracking satellites, Florida possibly coming after Crocs, AI at the McDonald's drive-thru, questionable AI healthcare, Hollywood unemployment and other reasons civilization may have peaked sometime around 1987.

The 2026 Lincoln Navigator Reserve can turn itself into a parked mini-spa with massage, scents, sounds and meditation.

Six different relaxation experiences.

My car has one:

“Check Engine.”

A new retirement survey finds 42% of retirees left work earlier than expected, while more than half say they'd retire immediately if they hit the lottery.

Forget counting down the years.

We're counting down the Mondays.

A fake AI crocodile sends Singapore authorities on a real search.

A Texas driver allegedly crashes into a Kroger because he desperately needs the bathroom.

A monkey reportedly raises hell inside a Spirit Halloween.

Government robot dogs get hellhound-inspired names.

Comedy Wildlife Photography finalists prove animals are just as ridiculous as we are.

And a driver encounters an unexpected parade of foxhounds.

Humanity remains undefeated.

Messy bedrooms, terrible drivers, exhausted aunties, Texas chainsaw massacres, horrifying deep-sea discoveries, accidental one-year-old cat adopters, useless printers, Wilson Phillips and environmentally conscious seagull strangling.

The internet continues providing a valuable public service.

Parents' screen habits may influence how much their teenagers game.

Apparently kids imitate their parents.

Scientists have finally cracked the case.

Whack Facts: Brown eyes hiding blue underneath, the real Apollo 13 quote, sweatless lips, vegetarian Meat Loaf, sleepless spiders and chewing gum sweetened by a dentist.

You Know It's October When: Pumpkin spice has invaded everything, Halloween candy mysteriously disappears, every store sells skeletons and Santas simultaneously, and the oven clock is finally about to become correct again.

Things That Should Never Be Pumpkin-Spiced: Hot dogs, diapers, cigarettes, suppositories, embalming fluid and — for the love of humanity — ramen noodles.

October 5–11, 2026

The universe checks in with another week of terrible guidance for all 12 signs.

Libra can't make a decision.

Police later describe the incident as “an avoidable tragedy.”

🎙️ DAWACK IN DA MORNING

Mondays & Fridays

It's Payday! It's Bonus Day! YAY!

Friday has finally arrived, and Zack Da Wack is back behind the mic with another professionally questionable edition of DaWack in da Morning.

Today we're celebrating everything from smiles and fried scallops to Charlie Brown's 76-year inability to recognize an obvious football scam.

Then we're digging into birthdays, dead celebrities, history, music, weird news from around the world and another round of Friday Horriblescopes guaranteed to provide absolutely no useful guidance whatsoever.

It's World Smile Day, National Name Your Car Day, National Custodial Workers Day, National Fried Scallops Day, World Farm Animals Day, International Day of Non-Violence and Audiophile Day.

Plus, Peanuts debuted on October 2, 1950.

Charlie Brown has been trying to kick that damn football for 76 years.

At this point, Charlie, it's on you.

Birthday cake today for:

Sting • Don McLean • Kelly Ripa • Donna Karan • Tiffany • Jim Root • Phil Oakey • Brittany Howard

Plus legendary October 2 birthdays including Groucho Marx, Mahatma Gandhi, Annie Leibovitz and Richard III.

We remember:

Tom Petty • Rock Hudson • Gene Autry • Samuel Adams • Tom Clancy • Marcel Duchamp

One of them put a urinal in an art gallery and called it art.

Somewhere, a plumber is still pissed off.

We're heading back through the time machine for:

1780 — Benedict Arnold's co-conspirator Major John André is executed as a spy.

1835 — The Battle of Gonzales helps kick off the Texas Revolution.

1950 — Peanuts debuts.

1958 — Guinea declares independence from France.

1959 — The Twilight Zone premieres.

1962 — Johnny Carson begins his legendary run on The Tonight Show.

1967 — Thurgood Marshall is sworn in as the first Black U.S. Supreme Court justice.

October 2 brings us:

🎵 Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs — “Stay”

🎛️ Phil Spector launches Philles Records

❤️ Bonnie Tyler — “Total Eclipse of the Heart”

💰 Robbie Williams signs his massive EMI deal

🎸 Remembering Tom Petty

Meanwhile, DaWack is still waiting for enough streaming royalties to buy a McChicken.

October 2 also brought us:

Scrubs — 2001

Because normal news is depressing.

🐦 An escaped emu leads police on a two-hour chase.

🎮 A 78-year-old grandmother becomes a record-setting Fortnite streamer.

🐻 Fat Bear Week returns.

🐏 Ohio authorities deal with a loose ram.

👩‍🚒 A 4-foot-10 firefighter earns a Guinness World Record.

🦸 And a real-life Spider-Man helps a wheelchair user cross a busy intersection.

Just another perfectly normal week on planet Earth.

The stars have once again reviewed your weekend plans...

…and they're disappointed.

We've got bad decisions for Libra through Virgo, including Facebook arguments, unanswered texts, Costco adventures, sweatpants, spreadsheets and at least one person pretending everything is “fine.”

Spoiler:

It is absolutely not fine.

Remember:

You didn't waste the entire week.

There are still several hours left.

🎙️ DaWack in da Morning

[email protected]

🎙️ DAWACK IN DA MORNING

Monday is back, and apparently it brought snakes, horny spiders, rock stars, stupid criminals and a whole truckload of bad decisions with it.

On Pod #8 of DaWack in da Morning, Zack DaWack crawls back behind the microphone at the low-rent, sleazy, double-greasy Ramin Jamin Nut Hut Studios to kick off another week with history, music, celebrity nonsense, stupid news and enough questionable comedy to make responsible adults change the station.

This time around, we've got a snake that swallowed three golf balls, a desperate pet owner trying to get his dying tarantula laid, a 9-year-old who allegedly blew $118,000 on YouTube ads, Wendy's apparently discovering emo music, and a teacher accused of turning burglary into an extracurricular activity.

But wait — there's more crap!

We travel back to Yorktown, revisit the Black Sox scandal, watch Ted Williams hit .406 and later homer in the final at-bat of his career, remember Miles Davis, Coolio, Kris Kristofferson and Harpo Marx, and dig through a monster pile of music history featuring Stevie Wonder, Nirvana, Guns N' Roses, Kate Bush, The Police, Garth Brooks, Tina Turner and George Harrison.

Then it's on to the latest music and showbiz buzz, weird sports rules, reasons pets may be better than partners, celebrity birthdays, and another catastrophically inaccurate visit to the stars with the Monday Horriblescopes.

So grab some coffee, lower your expectations and come waste part of your Monday with us.

No useful information guaranteed. Side effects may include laughter, confusion and explaining to somebody why you were listening to a story about Tarantula Tinder.

Welcome to DaWack in da Morning.

Same Wack Time. Same Wack Channel.

We celebrate — or at least acknowledge:

National Good Neighbor Day • National Strawberry Cream Pie Day • National Drink Beer Day • National Family Day • World Rabies Day

Finally, a Monday with beer.

Remembering notable figures who died on September 28:

Harpo Marx • Miles Davis • Coolio • Kris Kristofferson • Drake Hogestyn • William Boeing • Herman Melville • Prince Wilhelm of Prussia

And no, Prince Wilhelm was NOT responsible for the Wilhelm scream.

We take another questionable trip through the history books:

1781 — The Siege of Yorktown begins

The Bill of Rights starts taking shape — and one amendment takes 203 years to finally get ratified.

Plus:

Evita opens on Broadway • Scientists warn aerosols may damage the ozone layer • Mark Zuckerberg calls for broader Internet access • NASA announces evidence of flowing salty water on Mars • Ruth Bader Ginsburg becomes the first woman to lie in state at the U.S. Capitol.

September 28 was apparently busy as hell:

🎹 Stevie Wonder releases Songs in the Key of Life

Also on the musical radar:

Taylor Swift • Beyoncé & Jay-Z • Calvin Harris • Amy Winehouse • Naked Eyes • Red Hot Chili Peppers • Rush • Miranda Lambert • Ella Langley • Neal McCoy • Tucker Wetmore

Plus entertainment buzz involving:

Bob Saget • Martin Mull • Ryan Murphy and a possible Glee reboot • Matthew McConaughey • Woody Harrelson • Jonathan Taylor Thomas • Taylor & Tay Lautner

Because respectable journalism can only take us so far:

🐍 Snake Eats Three Golf Balls — Apparently Titleists look delicious when you're a snake.

🕷️ Tarantula Tinder — A pet owner searches for a female tarantula so his aging male spider can finally get lucky.

🍔 Wendy’s Goes Emo — Because apparently fast food wasn't emotionally complicated enough.

🏠 Teacher Accused of Taking Students Burglarizing — Today's lesson: Breaking & Entering 101.

🎮 9-Year-Old Runs Up $118,000 in YouTube Ads — Mighty Mike wanted more views. Dad's company credit card apparently volunteered.

🎨 Seattle's “Inconvenience Store” — A former 7-Eleven becomes an art exhibit filled with wonderfully useless merchandise.

This week's comedy pile includes:

Flock cameras • A confused humpback whale • Starbucks closures • The United Nations • Artificial intelligence • Coffee and sleep • McDonald's modernization • Atlanta pandas • The NFL's No Fun League • American Horror Story • Alpha-gal allergies • Climate change • Sydney Sweeney • and assorted political foolishness.

Eldest daughters become management at age seven.

British people are either chuffed or gutted.

Ducks can walk, swim and fly — while somehow looking mediocre at all three.

And if you want to hear Ed Sheeran without an opening act, apparently just call your bank and ask to be placed on hold.

A rare Pokémon Pikachu Illustrator card reportedly sold at auction for $5 million.

“Gotta catch ’em all” has officially become:

“Gotta insure ’em all.”

Weird Sports Rules Edition

Handkerchief-carrying wrestlers • signed golf scorecards • shirtless runners • catching baseballs with hats • kicking soccer balls with shoes you've removed • and apparently even chess has wardrobe problems.

No in-laws.

They miss you after eight minutes.

They don't care if you haven't showered.

And most importantly:

They're not people.

An assortment of sentences that should probably never be spoken aloud in a locker room — including questions about zits, towels, underwear, manscaping and several medical situations nobody asked to inspect.

Happy birthday to:

🎂 Frankie Jonas — 26

🎂 Hilary Duff — 39

🎂 Naomi Watts — 58

🎂 Mira Sorvino — 59

And remembering September 28 birthdays Ed Sullivan and Brigitte Bardot.

The stars have once again reviewed your life choices.

Libra: Pick something. Anything.

Those are your official DaWack in da Morning Horriblescopes.

You don't have to outrun Monday.

You just have to survive long enough to complain about Tuesday.

Connect with Zack at zackdawack.com or call 984-DAWACK-1 (984-329-2251).

Like it. Follow it. Subscribe. And share the show with your people.

Thanks to all the Wackos, Weirdos, Reverts, Preverts, Dingbats and Jello Heads Anonymous for listening.

Until Friday...

Same Wack Time. Same Wack Channel.

WACK OUT! 🤘

It’s Finally Freakin’ Friday! Zack Da Wack is back behind the mic with another dose of nonsense, nostalgia, questionable decisions and the stories you didn’t know you needed.

🎉 Holiday Roundup

National Comic Book Day

National One-Hit Wonder Day

National Quesadilla Day

National Lobster Day

National Cooking Day

Save the Koala Day

🎂 Birthdays

🕯️ Remembering

📜 This Day in History

🎸 This Day in Music

🔮 FRIDAY HORRIBLES COPES

Twelve signs. Twelve disasters. Zero sympathy.

🤪 STUPID NEWS

🎵 ONE-HIT WONDER JUKEBOX

☕ Grab the coffee, lower your expectations and crank it up!

DaWack in da Morning