Mike Wasko's dad died 20 years ago. He's still figuring out what that means.

At 29, Mike became his father's primary caregiver after a cancer diagnosis. Then he walked out of a doctor's appointment knowing something his dad didn't — and had to decide what to do with that information. That moment changed everything.

Two decades later, Mike sits down with us to talk about what grief actually looks like when the raw edges start to dull. Spoiler: it doesn't disappear. It just shifts.

In this episode:

• What it's like to grow up with a father who intimidated everyone around him — and why Mike now calls that "a gift"
• Becoming his dad's caregiver at 29, and the one conversation he never should have had to have
• Why he finally went to therapy — and what his therapist said that reframes grief completely
• The "cosmic joke" of watching his youngest son become his late father, trait for trait
• The crater analogy: why grief isn't something you get over — it's something you get used to

"Grief is the cost of loving someone. And that's just a perfectly natural response."

If you're years out and still feel it — this one's for you. And if you're just starting, this is what 20 years of living with it looks like. It gets different. Maybe even better.

Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction: Who Is Mike Wasko?

01:21 – Mike Joins the Pod: 20 Years of Grief

02:34 – Why He's Talking About It Now

04:23 – Meet Bob Wasko: "Larger Than Life"

06:23 – His Dad's Parenting Style: Tough Love & Unconventional Fun

07:25 – The Diagnosis: Six Months, and a Secret to Keep

13:34 – Giving Up His Life to Move In With His Dying Dad

15:12 – The Falling Out — and the Reconciliation That Changed Everything

18:16 – Anger, Therapy, and "The Cost of Loving Someone"

24:50 – Becoming a Dad and Finding His Father in Himself

29:10 – His Kids Ask Why Grandpa Died (and Want to Build a Robot of Him)

31:37 – Approaching the Age His Dad Died

32:28 – Mike's Grief Analogy: The Crater That Never Fills

35:35 – Final Thoughts & Where to Follow

🎧 Dead Dads Podcast is a grief support group for men that laughs way too much. New episodes every week on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, and everywhere you listen.

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What does grief actually look like after losing your dad?

In this Dead Dads Check-In, we talk about the parts of father loss that don’t always get said out loud. The family vacation that feels off without him. The anniversary rituals that keep him close. The question of whether to keep his stuff or get rid of it. Crying in front of your kids. Dad jokes. Garage clutter. Random sayings. All of it.

This episode is for men dealing with grief, father loss, and the strange mix of sadness, guilt, humor, memory, and love that comes after your dad dies. If your grief has felt messy, uneven, or unexpectedly funny at times, this one will feel familiar.

What you’ll get out of this episode

• A more honest picture of what grief can look like after losing a father
• A reminder that grief is not just sadness. It can also be guilt, laughter, rituals, and random memories
• A way to think about what to keep, and what to let go
• Reassurance that grief moves around. It does not show up the same way every day
• Permission to cry in front of your kids without feeling weak
• A reminder that remembering your dad can happen through small family traditions, not just big emotional moments
• The feeling that you’re not the only one whose grief looks messy, uneven, or unexpectedly funny

Chapter list

00:00 When your son sees you cry

00:32 Where grief sits right now

01:09 The first family vacation without dad

01:51 How we mark our dad’s anniversary

02:29 Helping your kids remember their grandpa

03:10 Dollar store memories and dad clutter

04:09 The appliances dads absolutely did not need

04:57 First concerts and dads waiting in the car

05:17 Should you keep your dad’s stuff after he dies?

06:37 Is it okay for men to cry?

07:06 Crying in front of your kids after father loss

09:20 Are dad jokes actually funny?

10:25 The expressions every dad repeated to death

10:49 Garage junk, batteries, and classic dad behavior

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New episodes every week.

Start here if you need the quick version

If you’re dealing with losing your dad, or your dad died suddenly and you had to handle everything, this episode will feel familiar. John got the call. Then had to sit down with his mom and brother and tell them their dad was gone. No plan, no instructions, no will. Just responsibility. The kind you definitely didn’t apply for… but somehow got the job anyway.

If you have a little more time

John shares what it’s like to lose a father when nothing is prepared. There’s no will, no clear instructions, and no estate planning. You have to make big decisions while you’re still trying to process that it really happened.

We talk about what it’s like to tell your family that someone has died, and how it feels to be the one sharing that news. In the first few days, funeral planning, logistics, and paperwork appear right away, like a to-do list you never wanted.

There’s also pressure that hits fast. People expect you to be the strong one, to stay steady, to carry it for everyone else. This is where emotional stoicism in men shows up, and where it can start to crack a bit under the weight.

We also talk about the unfinished conversations, the questions you never asked, and the things you assumed you’d have time to figure out. Turns out, that part doesn’t just fade out quietly.

This episode is also practical. If you’re looking for real advice on losing a parent or trying to understand how to deal with grief, there are takeaways here. Especially around what happens when there’s no will, and how avoidable estate planning mistakes can make a hard situation a lot harder.

If you’re dealing with the loss of a father, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers an honest look at grief without pretending it’s simple or easy.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

- What it’s actually like to get the call and then be the one who has to tell your family

- What the first few days look like after your dad dies, not the version people imagine, the real one

- How to handle everything when there’s no will, no plan, and no clear instructions

- Why the pressure to be “the strong one” shows up fast, and what it does to you

- Why the conversations you didn’t have stick with you longer than you expect

- How to make decisions when nothing feels clear and you don’t trust your own judgment yet

- What you can do now so your family isn’t left figuring it out while they’re grieving

John and his dad

John Abreu spent his childhood in both Venezuela and Canada. His father (John Abreu Sr.), a mathematician, lived by discipline, hard work, and always being there for his family. He encouraged John to think more deeply and strive for better, even if John didn’t always see the value then.

In 2022, his dad died suddenly, with no plan and no will, leaving John to tell his family and handle everything that followed. Now he’s focused on carrying forward what mattered, while being more open and proactive so the people around him aren’t left guessing.

In this episode:

0:00 – Why Small Moments Hit Hardest (grief shows up when you don’t expect it)

0:23 – What This Podcast Is (real talk about male grief, not expert advice)

1:02 – Why Talking About Losing Your Dad Matters (even if guys avoid it)

2:42 – What You Carry From Your Dad (what only makes sense later)

6:01 – The One Sentence That Sticks Long After He’s Gone

7:24 – What You Might Do Differently (especially around stoicism)

8:53 – What It’s Like to Get the Call (how fast everything changes)

12:09 – How to Tell Your Family Someone Died (when you’re not ready)

13:47 – When Responsibility Lands on You (and you don’t get a choice)

16:27 – What the First Few Days Look Like (shock, logistics, priorities)

17:38 – What Happens Without a Will (why it gets heavier)

19:17 – How to Make Decisions Without Clear Answers

20:14 – What “Doing It Right” Means (burial, cremation, meaning)

21:58 – How to Honor Someone So It Lasts (beyond the funeral)

23:59 – How Grief Changes Over Time (staying strong isn’t enough)

25:45 – How Losing Your Dad Shows Up in Parenting

28:24 – The Questions You’ll Wish You Asked (and why you didn’t)

31:50 – What You Can Do Now to Prepare (so family isn’t guessing)

33:21 – What Grief Sounds Like Years Later (the sentence that stays)

About Dead Dads

Dead Dads is a podcast for guys figuring out life after losing their dad.

It’s real conversations about grief, identity, and everything that comes after.

You’re not alone.

Follow + Connect

Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ddadspod

Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes

New episodes every other week.

Start here (if you’re in a rush)

If you made it to this podcast, maybe you’re starting to notice something feels “off” since your dad died. If that’s hitting close, we’re here to help you understand it.

Grief can be cryptic. It shows up while you’re waiting in line at the grocery store, or reading an email that says “just circling back,” and suddenly you’re back in moments that changed your life.

In this episode, we sit down with Greg Kettner and break down what grief actually feels like for men, why it can hit later or out of nowhere, and how to deal with it without shutting down or pretending you’re fine.

We also get into therapy, what it’s really like, why it helps, and how to find someone you can talk to without feeling like you’re being graded.

If you’ve got a minute

Maybe you’re a guy who just lost his dad and feel like you’re doing grief wrong, like there was a meeting you missed and everyone else got instructions. You’re not alone.

A lot of men decide they’re fine and carry on. It can feel easier and more acceptable, but it doesn’t work when something underneath has gone off script.

That’s what this episode gets into. What it actually feels like, why it hits the way it does, and how it shows up at inconvenient times, like when you’re trying to work.

Greg walks through it from the beginning. His dad getting sick, the hospital, the moment everything stopped, and what came after.

The moment doesn’t linger. It’s everything after. When you’re fine one minute and not the next, and you start wondering if you’re feeling too much, too little, or if this is just how it works now.

This is where a lot of men get stuck, quietly managing it as if there’s a prize for not bringing it up.

We also talk about therapy. Many men treat it like a last resort or a flaw, until they try it and realize it’s just a place where you don’t have to pretend.

If your dad is gone, or you know that time is coming, this will help you understand what’s happening in your head and what to do with it.

We’re just your friend. We’re not licensed therapists, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for professional advice. We’ll see you in the next episode.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What it feels like as a man when your dad dies.
• Why it’s so hard to process losing the person you saw as your rock.
• What actually happens in the moment he dies, and why it lands the way it does.
• Why grief doesn’t stay at the funeral and instead shows up later, in random places, at inconvenient times.
• How to deal with those hits without shutting down or pretending nothing’s happening.
• What therapy is really like, and why more guys end up needing it than they expect.
• How to find a therapist you don’t hate talking to.
• What to do if you still have time with your dad.

About Greg and his dad

Greg Kettner lost his dad a year and a half ago. His father, Sydney, was a doctor who spent his life helping other people live better. That mindset shaped how Greg shows up today.

He now speaks to organizations about mental health and stress. In this episode, he talks honestly about losing his dad and what it looks like to move forward after.

In this episode:

0:00 – Why Losing Your Dad Hits Different as a Man (no one explains this part, you just find out)

2:10 – Why Greg Said Yes to Talking About This (most guys would rather not, for obvious reasons)

6:30 – Who His Dad Was and What He Meant to Him (the part that makes the rest hit harder)

12:20 – The First Stroke and Realizing He’s Not Invincible (a very unwelcome plot twist)

18:00 – The Hospital and The Decision You Have to Make (the one you don’t feel qualified for)

24:40 – The Moment He Dies (exactly as final as you think it is)

30:10 – Why It Hits You Later (because apparently grief has a delay setting)

36:30 – Breaking Down in Public (in places you did not plan for)

42:00 – Therapy: What It’s Actually Like for Guys (less weird than expected, more useful than advertised)

49:20 – Finding a Therapist You Can Talk To (without feeling like you’re being evaluated)

55:00 – How This Changed His Life (not in a neat, inspirational way)

1:02:00 – What He’d Say to His Dad Now (the conversation you keep having anyway)

1:07:20 – Advice for Guys Going Through This (the stuff people should probably say sooner)

About Dead Dads

Dead Dads is a podcast for guys figuring out life after losing their dad.

It’s real conversations about grief, identity, and everything that comes after.

You sure aren't alone.

Follow + Connect

Website

YouTube

Instagram

TikTok

Substack

New episodes every other week.

If you want the short version, start here.

If your dad died and you just kept going, this is for you. There was no breakdown, no big moment, and no dramatic speech about taking time off. You just went back to work on Monday.

You took care of everything. You said what needed to be said and filled out forms you never knew existed. At some point, you told yourself you were fine. And honestly, for the most part, you are.

But then you notice you haven’t said his name in a while. Not in conversation, not in a story, not even when something reminds you of him.

Now it’s become a quiet, slightly unsettling feeling. He starts to feel less present, almost like he moved out without saying anything.

If you have a minute

We talked with Bill about the kind of loss that isn’t often discussed.

He lost his dad to dementia. There was no final moment, no clear goodbye, and no movie scene where everything suddenly made sense. It was just a slow fade.

Somehow, it didn’t affect him the way he thought it would. So he did what most men do: went back to work, showed up for his family, kept things steady, and told himself he was fine.

That approach works well—until it doesn’t. Over time, something changes. You stop telling stories about him, stop bringing him up, and stop including him in your daily life. It’s not intentional. There’s no big moment. It just happens.

That’s when it starts to feel like you’re losing him all over again.

We talk about what that really looks like—the pressure to move on, the strange guilt of not feeling 'enough,' and how grief can sometimes look like being productive but feeling empty inside.

We also discuss what it means to keep your dad’s memory alive after he’s gone—through stories, habits, and the way you show up now.

Because if you don’t talk about him, he fades away.

In this episode you'll learn:

- Why not talking about your dad can slowly erase his presence

- What it looks like to lose your dad without a big emotional reaction

- How dementia changes the experience of loss before death even happens

- Why not getting a final moment or goodbye is more common than you think

- How to carry your dad forward through everyday habits and conversations

- Why family traditions matter more than you realize after loss

- How your dad shows up in you, even when you don’t notice it

- Why there’s no “right way” to grieve

About Bill and his dad:

Bill Cooper lost his dad, Frank, after years of living with dementia.

Frank was a British-born doctor who built a life in Canada and raised his family around adventure, tradition, and quiet consistency.

He wasn’t loud. He wasn’t the center of attention.

But he shaped everything around him.

In this episode, Bill shares what it looked like to lose him and what it means to carry that forward without forcing it.

In this episode:

0:00 – Why Some Guys Don’t Talk About Losing Their Dad

2:00 – Meeting Bill and Why He Said Yes

6:00 – Who His Dad Was and What He Was Like

11:30 – Living With Dementia Before Death

17:00 – The Moment He Didn’t Get

22:30 – What Loss Looked Like Without a Breakdown

28:00 – Staying Busy and Moving Forward

34:00 – “Am I Supposed to Feel More?”

40:00 – How His Dad Shows Up in Him Today

46:00 – Family Traditions That Keep Him Around

52:00 – Why Talking About Your Dad Matters

58:00 – Advice for Guys Who Just Lost Their Dad

About Dead Dads

Dead Dads is a podcast for guys figuring out life after losing their dad.

It’s real conversations about grief, identity, and everything that comes after.

You’re not alone.

Follow + Connect

Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ddadspod

Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes

New episodes every other week.

Start here (if you’re in a rush)

If your dad died and, rather than trying to address the gaping hole that was left, you put that on the shelf marked ‘things to figure out tomorrow’ along with ‘general home repairs’ and starting your new ‘fitness program’ (aka eating less hamburgers)

You might be realizing that things start coming back to the surface that you weren’t ready for.

You assume there’s time – to ask questions, to get things in order, or maybe just to say what needs to be said. Then it happens.

And you realize how much wasn’t actually handled, which is a pretty brutal way to find out you were not, in fact, “on top of things.”

We sat down with Blair and got into what that actually looks like, the diagnosis, the short timeline, and the moment it becomes clear your dad isn’t coming back.

Then everything that follows, the logistics, the pressure, and the realization that you’re now responsible for things you have no idea how to handle, but will confidently pretend you do for at least a few weeks.

We also get into what happens when you try to hold it together for too long, and what it looks like when your body shuts that plan down for you, usually at a very inconvenient time.

If you’ve got a minute

If you’re walking around thinking you should have been more prepared, you weren’t going to be.

Most guys think they’ll be ready, you won’t be, and by the time it happens, you’re already behind, which is not a great feeling when the stakes suddenly get very real.

Blair walks through it from the start, the diagnosis, how fast things moved, and the moment everything stops, and then the part no one explains.

You’re trying to manage your family when you can’t even get home, sorting through finances, passwords, and paperwork that were technically “organized” in the sense that they exist somewhere, just not in any way that helps you.

You keep going with work, life, responsibilities, and from the outside it looks fine, but underneath it starts to break, slowly, then all at once.

Blair talks about what that looked like for him, pushing through, ignoring it, and then hitting a point where his body forced him to stop, not eating, burning out, and taking it out on the people around him, which is not the strategy anyone recommends but a lot of us try anyway.

This is the part a lot of men don’t expect, you don’t fall apart right away, you hold it together until you can’t, which feels efficient right up until it isn’t.

We get into what actually helps, finding one person you can talk to, letting yourself slow down, and figuring out how to carry your dad forward without letting it take you down with it.

If your dad’s gone, or you know that day’s coming, this will help you understand what’s coming next and what to do when it shows up.

In this episode you'll learn:

- What actually hits after your dad dies

- “I thought I had more time” and why it sticks

- The stuff that isn’t handled when everyone says it is

- Becoming “the guy in charge” without choosing it

- Holding it together… until you don’t

- When grief turns into work, control, or burnout

- The moment you realize you can’t outrun it

- Why one real conversation changes everything

About Blair and his dad:

Blair French lost his dad three years ago.

His father, Bob, was an accountant. Steady. Practical. The kind of guy who didn’t need to be the center of attention, but held everything together.

After a sudden cancer diagnosis, Blair had a short window before losing him.

In this episode, he shares what that experience actually looked like and how it changed how he works, parents, and lives now.

In this episode:

0:00 – You Thought You Had Time. You Didn’t.

2:30 – Why He Agreed to Talk About This At All

6:40 – Who His Dad Was (And Why That Matters Now)

12:10 – The Diagnosis That Changed Everything Overnight

18:20 – What His Dad Never Told Him

24:10 – The Morning He Died

30:00 – Getting the Call When You’re Not There

36:20 – When You’re Suddenly “In Charge”

42:10 – Everyone Says “It’s Handled.” It’s Not.

48:30 – Acting Normal at Work While You’re Not

55:10 – When It Finally Starts to Crack You

1:01:00 – The Moment You Realize You Can’t Outrun It

1:06:30 – What Actually Helped (Not What People Say Helps)

1:12:00 – What He’d Tell Any Guy Going Through This

About Dead Dads

Dead Dads is a podcast for guys figuring out life after losing their dad.

It’s real conversations about grief, identity, and everything that comes after.

You’re not alone.

Follow + Connect

Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ddadspod

Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes

New episodes every other week.

Start here (if you’re in a rush)

If your dad’s still alive, you probably think you’ve got time.

Time to visit, talk, do the stuff you keep pushing to later.

Most guys think that, then the timeline shrinks without asking you first.

In this episode, Tiff walks through what it’s like when you realize it’s not years, it’s months, and you have to decide how you’re going to use them.

Do you chase more time or actually use the time you have.

We get into what it feels like to watch your dad make that call, step away from treatment, and choose how he wants to live what’s left.

Then the shift, you handle everything, keep it together, and realize you’re the one now.

The guy people look to.

If your dad’s still here, this will change how you spend time with him.

If he’s gone, you’ll recognize the weight you’re already carrying.

If you’ve got a minute

Most guys assume there’s time.

Time to ask the questions, fix the relationship, show up more, do that one thing you’ve talked about for years.

You tell yourself you’ll get to it, then something happens and the math changes fast.

Tiff takes us through that moment when the diagnosis hits and everything starts moving quicker than you’re ready for.

From sitting in appointments where the future gets shorter by the sentence, to asking questions his dad never asked, to realizing this isn’t something you can plan your way out of.

At some point, it becomes a choice, not about saving him, about how you spend what’s left together.

We talk about what it’s like to watch your dad stop treatment and focus on living on his terms, and how heavy it feels to sit beside that decision and understand what it means.

Then everything after, the logistics, the family, the pressure to be steady.

You do what needs to get done and carry it whether you’re ready or not.

And somewhere in there, it lands on you.

You’re the oldest guy in the room, no announcement, no ceremony, just a quiet shift in responsibility.

This episode is about that moment and what comes with it, not just losing your dad, but stepping into the role he left behind.

In this episode you'll learn:

- Why “I thought I had more time” is one of the hardest parts of losing your dad

- What to ask when your dad gets a serious diagnosis

- How to handle the moment when treatment stops and reality sets in

- What it’s like to lose your dad without a long runway

- Why many guys go straight into logistics mode after loss

- What it means to suddenly become “the guy” in your family

- How to carry your dad forward through your actions, not just memories

- Why spending time matters more than anything you could say

About Tiff and his dad:

Tiff lost his dad, George, after a cancer diagnosis that moved quickly.

George was a driven, positive, old-school provider.

A salesman. A community builder. Someone who believed in hard work, accountability, and showing up for others.

In this episode, Tiff shares what it was like to step in, ask the hard questions, and navigate losing him while supporting everyone else around him.

In this episode:

0:00 – Why You Think You Have More Time

2:00 – Why Tiff Said Yes to This Conversation

6:00 – Who His Dad Was and What He Stood For

11:30 – The Diagnosis and What Wasn’t Being Asked

17:30 – Getting Real Answers From the Doctor

23:00 – The Decision to Stop Treatment

28:30 – The Final Days and Saying Goodbye

34:00 – The Moment He Passed

39:00 – Going Back Home and Facing Reality

44:30 – Taking On Responsibility

50:00 – Becoming “The Guy” in the Family

56:00 – What He Wishes He Did Differently

1:02:00 – How He Carries His Dad Forward

1:08:00 – Advice for Guys Going Through Grief

About Dead Dads

Dead Dads is a podcast for guys figuring out life after losing their dad.

It’s real conversations about grief, identity, and everything that comes after.

You’re not alone.

Follow + Connect

Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ddadspod

Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes

New episodes every other week.

Welcome to the club no one wants to join. We are the grief support for men group that laughs way too much. Hit SUBSCRIBE to navigate father loss with us, and get your weekly dose of dark humor grief.

Coping with grief can feel isolating for men, especially when your dad dies and there isn’t really a place to talk about it.

Most men don’t talk about it. And when they do, it usually isn’t with laughter.

In this introduction to Dead Dads, Scott and Roger explain why they started a podcast about losing your dad, grief, and how men actually deal with it. After realizing there aren’t many places where guys can openly talk about the death of a father, they decided to create one themselves.

Dead Dads is a place where men can talk honestly about grief, loss, memories of their dads, and the strange moments that come after someone who shaped your life is gone. Some conversations are serious. Some are reflective. Some are unexpectedly funny.

Scott and Roger believe that talking about grief helps. Whether it’s with a therapist, a friend, or even a stranger who’s been through the same thing, sharing stories about your dad can make the weight a little easier to carry.

If you’ve experienced losing your dad, father loss, or the death of a parent, this podcast is for you.

Sometimes grief needs silence.

Sometimes it needs conversation.

Sometimes it needs a laugh.

We have it all.

In this episode you'll learn:

- Why there aren’t many spaces for men to talk about losing their dad

- What happens when you actually start talking about grief

- Why grief looks different for everyone

- How sharing experiences with other men can help

- What to expect emotionally after losing your dad

- Why humor still has a place in grief

- How this podcast is meant to help you process your own experience with grief

About this episode:

This is the first episode of Dead Dads.

Roger and Scott both lost their dads and realized there wasn’t a place for guys to talk about it honestly.

So they built one.

This episode explains why.

In this episode:

0:00 – Why Talking About Your Dead Dad Feels So Hard

2:00 – How The Dead Dads Podcast Started

6:00 – Why There Isn’t a Space for This

10:00 – What Grief Actually Looks Like

16:00 – Why Talking About Your Grief Helps

22:00 – What You Can Expect From The Dead Dads Podcast

About Dead Dads

Dead Dads is a podcast for guys figuring out life after losing their dad.

It’s real conversations about grief, identity, and everything that comes after.

You’re not alone.

Follow + Connect

Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ddadspod

Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes

New episodes every other week.

Start here (if you’re in a rush)

If your dad died and you feel like you’re supposed to hold it together, this is for you. Be strong. Stay steady. Don’t make it weird for everyone else. That’s the script most guys run.

You handle things. Say the right stuff. Keep moving. Tell yourself you’re fine, or close enough. And for a while, that works.

Until it doesn’t. Until it starts leaking out in ways you didn’t plan for.

If you’ve got a minute

Kevin lost his dad suddenly. No warning. No goodbye. Just a call, and everything changes.

Then comes the part no one really explains. Not the logistics. Not the funeral. What to actually do with everything going on in your head.

Kevin figured out something simple that most guys avoid. He told his friends the truth. “I need you right now.” No speech. No build-up. Just that. And it worked.

Not perfectly. Not instantly. But it gave him somewhere to put it instead of carrying it alone.

We get into what actually helps when you’re in it. Say it out loud early. Don’t wait until you’re falling apart to tell someone you’re struggling. Pick one or two people and be direct. You don’t need a group announcement. You need someone who will actually answer the phone.

Let people show up badly. Some will say the wrong thing. That’s fine. It still beats silence.

Don’t judge how you’re reacting. If you feel calm, that’s normal. If you feel nothing, also normal. It moves.

Watch where it leaks. Work, irritability, shutting down. That’s usually where it shows up first.

Keep your dad in circulation. Say his name. Tell stories. If you don’t, it gets weirdly quiet fast.

We also talk about the guilt of not grieving the “right” way, and how losing your dad quietly resets what matters, whether you acknowledge it or not.

A lot of guys try to handle this alone. It sounds strong. It just makes it harder.

In this episode you'll learn:

- Why you don’t have to be strong after losing your dad

- What it’s like when your dad dies suddenly with no goodbye

- Why talking to friends can help more than trying to handle it alone

- How to ask for support without feeling weak

- Why grief doesn’t follow a clear pattern or timeline

- How loss can shift your perspective on life and what actually matters

- Why humor and stories still have a place in grief

- What to say to someone who just lost their dad

About Kevin and his dad:

Kevin lost his dad, Ro, suddenly after a heart attack.

Ro was larger than life.

Talkative. Outgoing. The kind of guy who could keep someone on the phone for hours.

He cared deeply about people and stayed connected to everyone around him.

In this episode, Kevin shares what it was like to lose him without warning and how he’s been navigating that since.

In this episode:

0:00 – Why Men Feel Pressure to Be Strong

2:00 – Why Kevin Said Yes to This Conversation

6:30 – Who His Dad Was and What He Meant to Him

12:00 – The Call That Changed Everything

18:00 – Not Getting a Chance to Say Goodbye

24:00 – The First Days After

30:00 – Why Talking to Friends Helped Most

36:00 – Asking for Support Without Feeling Weak

42:00 – Grieving Without a “Right Way”

48:00 – How Loss Changed His Perspective

54:00 – Humor, Stories, and Remembering His Dad

1:00:00 – Advice for Guys Going Through Grief

About Dead Dads

Dead Dads is a podcast for guys figuring out life after losing their dad.

It’s real conversations about grief, identity, and everything that comes after.

You’re not alone.

Follow + Connect

Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ddadspod

Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes

New episodes every other week.

How to cope with losing your dad: Scott and Roger share honest stories about grief, father loss, and why talking about it can make the pain easier to carry.

Most men don’t talk about it. And when they do, it usually isn’t with laughter.

In this introduction to Dead Dads, Scott and Roger explain why they started a podcast about losing your dad, grief, and how men actually deal with it. After realizing there aren’t many places where guys can openly talk about the death of a father, they decided to create one themselves.

Dead Dads is a place where men can talk honestly about grief, loss, memories of their dads, and the strange moments that come after someone who shaped your life is gone. Some conversations are serious. Some are reflective. Some are unexpectedly funny.

Scott and Roger believe that talking about grief helps. Whether it’s with a therapist, a friend, or even a stranger who’s been through the same thing, sharing stories about your dad can make the weight a little easier to carry.

If you’ve experienced losing your dad, father loss, or the death of a parent, this podcast is for you.

Sometimes grief needs silence.

Sometimes it needs conversation.

Sometimes it needs a laugh.

We have it all.

👤 Connect With Us On Other Platforms:

Dead Dads HQ: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

Grief Resources: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/grief-resources-for-men/

Leave Us a Review: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/reviews/new/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ddadspod

Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast

To be or recommend a guest for the show: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/guests/intake/

Timestamps:

0:00 – Meet Scott and Roger

0:07 – Why we started Dead Dads

0:14 – The Dead Dads podcast begins

0:20 – Why men need a place to talk about losing their dads

0:32 – Talking helps grief

0:43 – Grief looks different for everyone

0:51 – Welcome to the Dead Dads podcast

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