Dear Daughters

"God has equipped you for this season. He has made you strong. Walk in it. Chin high, shoulders back. And fight for what's important. Fight for connection, privacy, wisdom … these moments are full of wonder and wretchedness. God will use these days."

Meet Kate Merrick. She's an author, speaker, mom of three, and the cofounder of the Reality family of churches with her husband Britt. She also specializes in making up dances to The Greatest Showman soundtrack, riding a surfboard, horse, or roller skates, and adding more butter to pretty much everything. She lives in Carpinteria, California with her family, five chickens, two goats, and two miniature donkeys.

Kate's new book is Here Now: Unearthing Peace and Presence in an Overcoming World.

She also has another book, And Still She Laughs: Defiant Joy in the Depths of Suffering, which tells the story of her losing her daughter to cancer.

Kate is all joy and I'm glad for you to know her better.

• Kate's new book: Here Now: Unearthing Peace and Presence in an Overcoming World.
• Kate's interview on DD Episode 21
• Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
• Justin Earley on DD Episode 79
• Join the Dear Daughters Book Launch Team

Dear 34 year old Kate,

"Yes, this is heinous, this awful cancer diagnosis." And, "You are ultimately not in control, but God is." I want to say, "Honey, sweet, sweet mama, you've got to trust God. Worrying only gives you ulcers and makes everyone around you anxious." I want to say, "God has equipped you for this season. He has made you strong. Walk in it. Chin high, shoulders back. And fight for what's important. Fight for connection, privacy, wisdom, for your son who is thrown in the middle of the crisis. These moments are full of wonder and wretchedness. God will use these days."

Want to write a letter to your younger self?

Get the free GRACE GUIDE here

… grateful, grateful for Davis sharing their music for the DD Podcast. :)

Remember the time I offered to homeschool all the children? Yes, it would be in the interview with my new friend, Jessica Smartt.

Jessica's a former English teacher turned homeschooling mom of three. She's an ESTJ, an iPhone addict (in recovery) and anxiety overcomer. She's also an allergy mom (only slightly neurotic ;), loved by God, and wife to Mr. Fix Anything. She runs a mean 12-minute mile and can make just about anything dairy free.

She's on the podcast today creating a life giving community and family via making meaningful memories. Jessica's new book, Memory Making Mom: Building Traditions That Breathe Life into Your Home, is about all that and more.

I'm excited for you to get to know her!

• Jessica's new book: Memory Making Mom
• Natalie Coulter's Watercolor Journal Mint and Maple
• And my interview with Natalie on DD Episode 40
• Speaking of memory making, this is interesting: The Power of Moments

Dear 30 year old Jessica,

You know what you need to do. Put down the phone, stop the frantic cleaning, and don't worry about rushing to the next place you need to go. Enjoy your children! Now take a deep breath — whatever you are worried about, God has it handled. You don't have to manage the entire universe. One day, one moment at a time. When you feel lost or anxious or guilty, go back to the basics and back to the rituals that bring you and your family life. You know what's important! Ask God for help and go do the right thing.

Want to write a letter to your younger self?

Get the free GRACE GUIDE here

… grateful, grateful for Davis sharing their music for the DD Podcast. :)

Suffering from a lifelong disease, I've been told I can't possibly be contented. Contentment happens to us because of circumstances, after all – right? But what if contentment found in Jesus is something that everyone can experience? Something we can chase and then catch hold of?

Meet Liz Carter. She's an author and blogger who writes about life in all its messy, painful, joyous reality. She likes Cadbury chocolates and turquoise, in equal measure, and lives in the UK with her husband, a church leader, and two crazy teens.

Liz is the author of Catching Contentment: How to be Holy Satisfied. The book digs into contentment in difficult circumstances. I'm delighted to introduce you to Liz because she can talk honestly about "rejoicing in the Lord, even in the rubbish of life." And we've all got rubbish in life, right?

I'm excited for you to meet her.

Here's Liz!

• Liz's new book: Catching Contentment: How to be Holy Satisfied
• The Art of Divine Contentment by Thomas Watson
• My favorite tea: Yogi Breathe Deep Tea :)

Dear Younger Liz,

Here's the thing I want you to know most of all, though: God hasn't let you down. God's not given up on you, or made you sick deliberately, or refused to heal you because you don't deserve it. God loves you passionately within your illness, and something else, too. God feels your pain. Sits next to you and weeps with you when it hurts too much, holding your hand, saying 'I'm here.' God has never forsaken you or left you alone, even in those times you feel more alone than ever. It's like David says in Psalm 139 – even our darkness is light to God, and God will be there wherever we go, whether to the heights or to the depths. And God's right there in your depths, dear one, so hang on. Keep on holding on.

Want to write a letter to your younger self?

Get the free GRACE GUIDE here

… grateful, grateful for Davis sharing their music for the DD Podcast. :)

Justin Whitmel Earley was just about to turn 30 when he had a complete anxiety collapse. The years that followed were extremely dark. He went from being a former missionary in China, to a few short years later, an anxious lawyer, medicating with alcohol. He felt like a failure as a father, husband, worker and human being in general.

In his recovery, Justin discovered that habits form us more than we form them. He believes the answer to our contemporary chaos is to practice a rule of life that aligns our habits to our beliefs. His new book, The Common Rule, offers four daily and four weekly habits, designed to help us create new routines and transform frazzled days into lives of love for God and neighbor.

These are concrete, doable practices, such as a daily hour of phoneless presence or a weekly conversation with a friend. These habits have been lived out by people across all walks of life―businesspeople, professionals, parents, students, retirees―who have discovered new hope and purpose.

I can't wait for you to meet him. Here's the interview on the Dear Daughters Podcast Episode 79.

• Visit Justin's website here.
• Buy The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction
• Pre-order Dear Daughters: Love Letters to the Next Generation
• Sign up for my weekly newsletter and be the first to know about upcoming events.

Knowing what I know now, I would have first, gently told myself, there is SO much hope. Suffering and trials and personal failure are real but God's grace and redemption means that EVEN those things will be used for his good. It doesn't erase the suffering, but it does help in walking through those things differently.

Want to write a letter to your younger self?

Get the free GRACE GUIDE here

… grateful, grateful for Davis sharing their music for the DD Podcast. :)

Can I start with some BIG news that I've been dying to talk about …?

A precious little boy was born into the world. His name is Caleb David Davis. And he is my grandson. He was born 3 weeks ago. And ohmygracious, he is beautiful. Little blonde fuzzy head. Tiny wonderful human. My heart is exploding.

My grandma name is Zuzu. And Will's name is Bear. Yes, Zuzu and Bear. Sounds like a cartoon or a children's book. And I love it. Caleb was born the week before Thanksgiving so we've been traveling back and forth to Denver to see him. Lots of travel. Lots of wonder. And lots of big feelings for me.

All the travel plus the holidays kinda knocked me off center. And it reminded me of the importance those tiny daily things I do that keep me healthy and centered. Like good sleep and daily writing and eating healthy.

I was on a call last week with a woman I just adore (I'll call her Jane) that just completed the Dear Daughters Mentorship Program. Jane asked me some very interesting and poignant questions about navigating the holidays in a healthy way with the people in her family. Because she recognizes unhealthy patterns in her family of origin that she doesn't want to get sucked into. She recognizes that she is susceptible to walking into situations without boundaries, which creates all kinds of crazy for her.

So we're going to talk boundaries. Because boundaries are insulators. And we're going to talk about boundaries because the holidays are coming up and that's often the time we need healthy boundaries most of all.

Here's the interview on the Dear Daughters Podcast Episode 78.

• Wanna talk over lunch? Sign up here!
• Barbara Taylor Brown's An Altar in the World
• DD 66 Episode: Boundaries for Soul with Allison Cook
• Allison's book: Boundaries for Your Soul
• Sign up for my weekly-ish newsletter here.
• Dear Daughters Mentorship Program in 2019
• Davis Music Tour Dates

Today on the Dear Daughters Podcast, I'm talking with Kristin Schell of the Turquoise Table about all things Thanksgiving. This is the final episode in what I'm calling the Thanksgiving Trio which is three episodes with three of my favorite table people. The first was with EP 75 with Bri McKoy, the second was EP 76 with Jen Schmidt and last but certainly not least is with my friend and neighbor, Kristin!

Kristin reveals her biggest Thanksgiving blunder and how that led her to create one simple rule to follow every Thanksgiving. I think you'll benefit from hearing what that rule is and how it makes everything much easier for Kristin over the holiday. As well, she talks about allowing space for real connection with the people at the table. Kristin is just the best at creating space to spend quality time with her people.

Kristin is a hoot. You will just love her. And you also might love winning a signed copy of her book + a cute pie tea towel + a couple Capri Blue Fir & Firewood Candles. Just jump over to my Instagram to enter to win!

• Kristin's DD Episode 6
• Cranberry Jalapeno Salsa
• Musings for Gatherings
• Rebecca Rather's Apple Pie Recipe
• Sarah Harmeyer's Neighbor's Table
• Dear Daughters Mentorship Program in 2019

… grateful, grateful for Davis sharing their music for the DD Podcast. :)

Need some good recipes and gathering ideas for the upcoming holidays? Yeah, me too. So I called on the experts. Last week on the Dear Daughters Podcast | Episode 75, I talked with Bri McKoy. We talked about the most important part of the holiday and how to mix in gratitude when you're feeling lonely.

This week, I invited Jen Schmidt to chat all things food, memories, and thanksgiving wonder. She's great at breaking big things down in manageable pieces whether that's cooking for 30 people or handling the holidays with the best mix of hope + reality.

Jen has spent the last decade encouraging, challenging and cheering on women to embrace both the beauty and bedlam of their everyday lives on her popular lifestyle blog, Beauty and Bedlam. She's a wife, mother, and 'accidental author', as well as a fellow table person and thrifter.

I loved hearing from Jen. I know you will too! And ohhhh, don't forget to jump over to my Instagram and enter to win a signed copy of Jen's book + a darling apron + Capri Blue Candle!

Here's the interview on the Dear Daughters Podcast Episode 76.

• Episode 49 with Jen Schmidt
• Jen's Gratitude Rolls
• Jen's Make Ahead Mashed Potatoes
• 11 of my favorite Thanksgiving Recipes (including all kinds of P-I-E!)
• Jen's book, Just Open the Door
• The Dear Daughters Mentorship Program Info and Waitlist for 2019
• Sign up for my weekly-ish newsletter here to keep up with upcoming events, classes and gatherings.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year. I love gathering around the table with my dearest people, sharing affirmations and bumping elbows as we reach for one more slice of pumpkin pie. This season I'm extra grateful because I have a grandson coming Thanksgiving week ~ oh JOY!!

Thanksgiving often gets overshadowed by twinkly, glorious Christmas, so I thought it would be extra wonderful to highlight Thanksgiving by talking with a few of my very favorite table people over the next three weeks.

My first table friend is adorable Bri McKoy. Bri is a writer, food blogger, air force wife, and a fellow Enneagram 7. Today on the show we talked about how to graciously hold gratitude and sorrow in both hands, and how to be fully present in the Thanksgivings we have, not just the ones we dream of. We also talked some of our favorite Thanksgiving recipes, of course.

I can't wait for you to hear from Bri today! And ohhhh, don't forget to jump over to my Instagram and enter to win a signed copy of Bri's book + Ina Garten's How Easy is That?

• Bri's happy Instagram
• Bri's earlier interview on the podcast ~> dd episode 38
• Savory Mashed Sweet Potatoes
• Ina Garten's Herb- Roasted Turkey Breast
• Bri's favorite kitchen tool ~ the food mill
• Come and Eat: A Celebration of Love and Grace Around the Everyday Table
• Interested in the Dear Daughters Mentorship Program? More info here. Or join the waitlist here.
• Sign up for my weekly-ish newsletter here and you'll get access to a FREE 4 week Bible study on how to live worry-free.

It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. ~ Myquillyn Smith

I'm so excited to have Myquillyn Smith, otherwise known as The Nester, join me on the show today! She's a writer, a homebody and a contentment evangelist. Her motto is, 'It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful.' Isn't that just lovely? I love her passion for helping women love their most important space, their home.

Myquillyn, her husband Chad, and their three boys have moved 14 times (!!!) over the course of their married life, so Myquillyn can relate to the challenges of loving your rent house when you aren't allowed to paint, and shopping your home when you don't have the budget to shop.

They now live just outside of Charlotte, North Carolina, where she gets to watch her peonies bloom every year and enjoy her happy place, the pool.

On the show today we talked about contentment, coziness and the gift of margin in our homes and in our lives. We talked about how so often the things that we wish were different about our lives eventually become the stories that we share to encourage others, and how they may even be our path to discovering what we love the most. She also shared a few tips for finding the perfect sofa, oh joy!

Myquillyn does so many wonderful creative things like writing at The Nester, contributing to Hope Writers, and hosting the Nest Fest and other gatherings in her sweet white barn. I absolutely can't wait for you to meet her.

• Come to our Austin coffee/book signing to celebrate Myquillyn ~> tickets here!
• Myquillyn's newest book, The Cozy Minimalist Home: More Style, Less Stuff
• Alli Worthington
• Study on how clutter effects women ~> The Clutter Culture
• One sofa with timeless lines: the camelback sofa
• Anthropologie statement pillows
• Myquillyn's book launching tiny house/barn
• Nest Fest
• Teachers Myquillyn admires: Emily P Freeman, Edie Wadsworth (her 'cozifier mentor'), Angela from The Painted House, and Tsh Oxenreider.
• Favorite bath products ~ Dr. Teals lavender epsom salts
• The Dear Daughters Mentorship Program
• Sign up for my weekly-ish newsletter here.

Hey there, dear one.

I see you wrestling under the sadness, afraid that it'll crush you. I know that the world can be scary and hard, and that our list of losses only grows longer as we get older.

But there is good news.

I believe that if you name what you've lost, if you sit with your grief and let it show you what has been taken from you instead of wrestling against it, that is the first step on the path back to joy.

Today I'm talking about grief and loss, and about how those things can be teachers. How they can make us soft and wise, rather than hardened and angry. I hope that you'll tune in, and take the time to respond to the prompts. Then I hope you'll share it with someone you love who needs to hear it.

• My book Unafraid: Trusting God in an Unsafe World
• Isaiah 61.3
• Best Baked Eggs
• Share these show notes with a friend, or rate or review the show on iTunes
• Join the Dear Daughters FB group
• Sign up for my weekly-ish newsletter
• Thanks to Davis Music for use of her song Fifty Seven.

Here's my prayer for you.

That you will be a woman who daily surrenders to God's plans. Even when those plans bump into tragedy or hardship. That you will grieve, list losses and take steps back to joy. That you will be soft and kind and open to God and this great big world full of hurting people. Not hard and angry and loud. But tender and beautiful. I pray that you'll know that you are loved more deeply than you could know, and you are not forgotten. God hears your prayers. He sees what you're going through. And He is with you. Always.