Dear Jessamyn

We are so grateful for and indebted to the Trevor Project for their amazing work at offering the queer community options beyond suicide. They also offer other resources including this wonderful definition of Asexuality.

If you can’t love yourself, you may not be able to recognize love when it is coming from somewhere else. But what about when you want the relationship, but you’re not that (at all?) interested in sex, it gets a little trickier. What if your partner doesn’t understand? Should you say it first thing? Do you owe people that kind of “I'M ASEXUAL” disclaimer as they walk up to you on your first date? Okay, probably not, but then when? Is it limiting to think that you will fall in love with someone who is going to have a problem with your sexual identity? Do you have to be poly if you are an Ace in love???

This week’s episodes look into the interminglings of asexuality and polyamory, more specifically, how well do they coexist. TL:DR, they can coexist pretty well, if you are asexual and polyamorous. Polyamory, pretty much jsut asks for radical honesty: let people know what’s good with you. We don’t claim to be experts on asexuality, but the Trevor Project does a really great job defining it. 

We also get into labels, identities, shifts in sexual desire, and iconic teen movies & the day Jessamyn came out (maybe). Tell us your favorite teen movie @dearjessamyn on IG.

Janie Leopard designs our episode art, she hangs out over at janieledford.com. We love her, like a lot. 

Fruit Snack is the sweetest little queer band that ever banded and are the voices behind our theme song. They’ve got some other tunes over yonder on Bandcamp. 

Sending another little love note over to Anna Rooney & Chaz VanHoose, office mom & social media queen, respectively. 

Check out the cannabis census at We Go High!

#NoOneShouldBeInJailForWeed

We are so grateful for and indebted to the Trevor Project for their amazing work at offering the queer community options beyond suicide. They also offer other resources including this wonderful definition of Asexuality.

Drop page.

xoxo, Jessamyn & Ashe

In this episode, we expound on Tuesday’s episode, but in case you missed here’s the tl;dr: our question-asker is curious about the polyamorous life but is hesitant when it comes to times when we’re a little needier of a partner’s attention- think job changes, babies, moving- all the big stuff. So the question is born: how does one do “sometimes poly”? 

It takes a whole lotta communication, respect, & boundary setting- plus the understanding that once you open pandora’s box, it’s gonna be really f*cking hard to close.

We also get into identities, open relationships versus polyamory, hierarchical polyamory, and

showing up to everyone equally. There’s a whole lotta yummy yum in this one, don’t miss it!!

Did we mention The Underbelly Yoga? What about the 14-day FREE trial?! What are you waiting for???

Our theme song is all thanks to Fruit Snack! Imagine if your favorite band made your very own theme song! How did we get so LUCKY?!

Speaking of lucky, Janie Leopard!!!!!! Aside from being a digital cowgirl over at Wrangler, she makes our episode art!!! Life’s amazing when you let it be. 

Special thanks to Anna Rooney, resident office mom & queen of getting shit done. And Chaz VanHoose! You can thank her for the IG playground called @dearjessamyn.

As always, #NoOneShouldBeInJailForWeed, shoutout to We Go High. 

Drop page.

xoxo, Jessamyn & Ashe

In this episode, our question-asker wonders how to go about being… sometimes poly. Specifically opening a relationship and closing it when it’s time to move, have kids, get a new job, etc. 

Jessamyn said it herself and honestly, we’re not mad at it “people are not good at time management with relationships in general.” There’s a lot more to it than that though… think a cocktail of radical listening, open communication, mutual respect, and the understanding that boundaries may flex, change, & be different for all of those involved. You know, that off-the-mat yoga vibe. 

Speaking of yoga vibes! Have you tried out The Underbelly? It’s Jessamyn’s dream of a yoga studio come to life, and you can do it all from the comfort of your home- in your underwear! There’s also a 14-day FREE trial! 

We’re still not over the episode art that Janie Leopard dreams up! And our theme song- not over that either! Thank you to the lovely Raleigh band that is Fruit Snack! While we’re throwing out Thank yous- we really don’t know where we’d be without Anna Rooney’s meticulous note-taking & get shit done mentality, plus Chaz VanHoose tending to the garden of @dearjessamyn.

Check out the cannabis census at We Go High!

#NoOneShouldBeInJailForWeed

Drop page.

xoxo, Jessamyn & Ashe

Themes: radical listening, conversations & open communication about needs, agreements, open vs poly, feeling & treating,

We’ve missed you, dearies!! We’re calling this one “To Love More Fully XL,” and if you’re in the business of loving, this is the shit we’ve all been meaning to work on! 

So maybe you and your long term boo are looking into polyamory- things might be a little stale and you’re both cool with it, maybe you have always been curious--as long as nobody falls in love, right? WRONG! Rules are made to be broken, baby girl. We’ve been there. Nobody wants to feel the pain of watching your lover fall in love with somebody else. But it’s probably gonna happen at some point in poly, and being okay with that is exactly what it means to love more fully.

Loving fully means going deeper in yourself. Just like everything ever discussed in our show, you’ve gotta get to the root if you want to heal. Codependency, self-perception, projection, insecurities & all that heavy sh*t that we tend to avoid, healing those deep symptoms is the money shot. 

Whether you practice polyamory or are looking to start, this question is likely something you’ll encounter along the way. This question is one of the most relatable and touching thus far, so tune in- you’re in for a treat.

Did we mention The Underbelly? Can’t recall. Anyways, if you’re looking for a space to heal and be seen- this is the virtual yoga studio for you. Here’s a 14-day free trial if you’d like to take a peek <3

We owe it all to Fruit Snack, they make our theme song. Amongst a million other really great & super lovely little tracks. Check ‘em out!

While you’re checkin’ things out- Janie Leopard. Janie F*CKING Leopard. She really does this sh*t. And by this sh*t, we mean our episode art. Eternally grateful.

Sending the biggest hugs to the rest of our team. Anna Rooney gets shit done. Chaz VanHoose is responsible for the loveliest little space that is @dearjessamyn.

P.S. No one should be in jail for weed. Check out We Go High.

xoxo, Jessamyn & Ashe

After a little Corpse Pose, Dear Jessamyn is back with our latest debut. This week’s episode pack is “To Love More Fully” and her longer sister “To Love More Fully XL” 

*sPoiLeR aLeRt*, this sh*t takes a lot of yoga. 

Our question-asker queeries what she can do about her newly opened long-term relationship wherein the only rule was not to fall in love. You know that she is out here falling in love. Are you surprised? We weren’t. It's kind just what people do. First things first, rules are made to be broken! Especially the love rule. You can’t just tell someone not to fall in love! Been there, done that... As if that is not hard enough communication to wade through, when your partner thinks that your poly identity is the cause of their depression, everything can get complicated real quick. 

Honestly, this question brings us to a whole lotta been there, done that. Tune in to agree, disagree, or question the way we talk about this situation. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review. 

Did you catch our theme song? It’s all thanks to Fruit Snack! Our very own home town heroes & favorite band. Maybe one day we’ll see ya at a show!

Our episode art is by the one & only Janie Leopard. What a f*cking dream.

Special thanks to Anna Rooney, our personal office mom & Chaz VanHoose, our social media dream queen!

Maybe we mentioned The Underbelly Yoga? Jessamyn’s virtual yoga studio! If you’re looking to build a home practice, this is for you! They’ve even got a super sweet 14-day FREE trial! Can you believe it!

OH, and We Go High! For all things cannabis justice, access, prohibition, & prison abolition. No One Should Be In Jail For Weed.

Drop page.

xoxo, Jessamyn & Ashe

Are you dreaming of the day quarantine is over, and you can finally head over to your friend's house so you can ruin your friendship with sex? We are too. I mean, what else are we thinking about these days? Ashe and Jessamyn finish their conversation about compersion, having sex with friends, having good communication with friends later and deciding that you don't need to do that anymore, and ultimately, loving yourself. I know you are shocked at that one.

In this episode, we mention an entirely fake hookup app that we made up because we think it should exist. And then we realized that hookup apps are somewhat a thing of the past, or at least they should be right now, please. Stay safe out there, y'all. We're in this together means, please stay home if you can and be careful with your precious life. And everyone else's.

The Underbelly Yoga app is offering a free 14-day trial. If you are looking for the yoga app that you can do while your man is (staying home but thinking about being) on a date, and has left you wishing you had never gotten the two of you in this poly-curious mess to begin with, and now you are out here doing at-home yoga trying to do some self-care instead of wallowing in jealousy. No? Just our story??? Try The Underbelly Yoga. You'll thank yourself.

Every one of our lovely artworkpieces is by @JanieLeopard, a genius with a marker or a stylus! (Say that three times fast). Look at more stuff she does at her website, janieleopard,com

It's a bird! Its a plane! Its a Fruit Snack!? Listen to our theme song, and amazing other internationally recognized hits like Puppies, 911! and Big Gay Love Song. Check ‘em out on fruitsnack.bandcamp.com, and follow them on IG at fruitsnack.bandcamp.com

So you wanna f**k your best friend? Husbands are cool with it, but then you listen to Jessamyn’s poly highlights reel, and you’re not quite sure if you wanna give your husband the same privileges? So then you ask us the age-old question, “Am I poly or am I bored?”

It takes a lot of compersion to be okay with your partner being into someone else. What’s compersion you ask? Compersion is finding pleasure in someone else’s happiness. It takes some self-work to get there but we’ve got no regrets. 

We also talk jealousy, which usually ends in a doctor’s orders to WORK

Ever wanted to get it on with somebody who’s not your partner? We definitely have and so has our question-asker (and if you haven’t, you just might after this quarantine business…) So what happens if you and your partner can’t come to an agreement about getting your d*ck wet??? Are you destined to break up? Not necessarily but it's definitely a bit more serious than compromising on dinner plans….We’ve got a few options for you:

Instead ask the question, “Dear Jessamyn, how do I effectively break up with someone whom I love dearly?”

• Become a CIA-level liar…. To be honest, we wouldn’t recommend it.
• Compromise - depending on how this goes, you might end up in some kind of ubiquitous cloud of emotional lust

Jokes aside, these questions usually lead back to your relationship with yourself- understanding your needs and what needs to happen for you. 

Oh, and in case you find yourself thinking about f*cking someone who’s not your partner, you might ask: does this make me polyamorous? No! But also, maybe? Nothing wrong with a little self-exploration (as long as it’s done ethically, babes).

This episode is packed full of good stuff. Check it out when you get a hot sec. 

Find your hosts: @mynameisjessamyn and @ashedngrphoenix

We’ve been loving The Underbelly. If you're looking for an inclusive yoga practice, look no further! And guess what? A free 14-day trial in light of Covid-19. Tell your friends and head over to their website to get started! 

You like our episode art? Us too. It’s designed by none other than @JanieLeopard. She’s good y’all- check her out: https://janieleopard.com/ 

Our favorite band makes our theme song! They’ve got a whole lotta other rockin’ tunes too! They’re called Fruit Snack! Find them at https://fruitsnack.bandcamp.com/ or on IG at @fruitsnacknc

Have you ever wanted to have your cake and eat it too? Us too. But like, why have a cake if you can't eat it? This week our question-asker asks: ‘I’m in a committed relationship with someone whom I love & love to build with, but still find myself wanting to get it in with somebody else. Despite talking about it several times, my partner and I can’t seem to strike a balance. Are we destined to break up?’

Jessamyn and Ashe lay down three potential outcomes:

1. You break up (sometimes it’s just gotta happen)
2. Find some sort of compromise (this would be nice, but so would the legalization of cannabis)
3. Lie (and unless you’re a CIA-level liar, your partner is still probably going to find out at some point in time)

There are a few more options too, but you’ll have to listen to catch ‘em all ;) At the end of things, we come to the same conclusion we always do: it all starts with your relationship with yourself. 

Jessamyn and Ashe also tackle important questions like, “Is Alice Pieszecki a triple fire sign?”. We’re asking the people- Leo moon? Aries rising? You tell us!!

Somewhere along the way, we mention The Underbelly Yoga app. Did you know they’re giving out 14 days of free yoga! It’s a quarantine dream come true!! It’s the perfect time to take your self-love practice to the mat, head over to their website to get the deets! 

As always, we can thank none other than Janie Leopard herself episode art on the scene. Not only that, but also our logo and all kinds of fun things you might see on our page. Do yourself a favor and check her out- @JanieLeopard on IG and on (emoji) Tell her we sent ya! 

Are you humming along to our theme song yet? You can thank Fruit Snack for that! They are the loveliest little band (not to mention, our very own personal favorite). Check them out sometime soon at and on Instagram @FruitSnackNC.  

If you had your dream metamour situation, what would it be? Sister wives (or sibling spouse, as ashe calls them)? Don't ask, don't tell? Best friends? Brunch at the house? Do you want kids with your triad? Do you want a long-distance boo who has a primary partner? Do you want your metamours to come to your birthday party? Do you want to go to theirs?

Listen to What the F**k is a Metamour XL (but don't put asterisks in the title of your podcast or it may not publish until you learn the hard way by realizing that your show didn't publish that way and then figure it out and fix it manually) and find out our answers to this same question.

Janie drew this very incredible Dear Jessamyn version of Alice Pieszecki's Our Chart. See more of her goods and wares @janieleopard on Instagram

Fruit Snack jammed out into a microphone for us one day and the results are our beloved theme song. We love staying up to date on their deets @fruitsnackNC

We are thinking of all of you riding out this quarantine. We hope we can offer some giggles in the din. <3