Dear Teen with Allison Ochs

A teen wrote in saying their school is pushing AI for homework, and they don’t want to use it. Do they have a choice? I sit down with a teen who says yes, and she has a lot to say. She calls AI a “yes machine” that just agrees with whatever you say, talks about people at school texting it like it’s their best friend, and gets real about the pressure: if everyone else is using it and getting better grades, how are you supposed to keep up? Her school has never once talked to her about the dangers of AI, so she and her friends figure it out together. And she has a message for every adult who thinks your generation is just glued to your phones and cheating with AI. If you’ve ever felt pushed to use AI when you didn’t want to, you’re not the only one. And if your school isn’t talking about this, bring this episode to your teacher. It would make a great classroom discussion.

A teen asked: why do people want to escape in the first place? This week I'm joined by a teen guest to talk it through honestly. We get into doom scrolling on a Tuesday night when the homework is piling up and the group chat is looming, why it feels good for a moment and then leaves you with the same problems and even less time, and why it's so hard to know who you are when there are a million voices telling you how to look, eat, and live. I share what I did as a teenager in the 80s with no phone and nowhere to escape to (spoiler: I lay on the living room floor in a patch of sunlight), and my guest pushes back with what's actually realistic for her generation. No lectures, just a real conversation about finding your own quiet space, whatever that looks like for you.

Got a question you'd never ask in class? Send it to [email protected] or use the anonymous link in the show notes. No names, no judgment.

A teen asked why losing a best friend can hurt as much as a breakup, and Allison put the question to another teen who heard it just minutes before we hit record. No script, just an honest conversation. They talk about why a best friend holds a version of you that no one else does, how hard it is to step away when you share the same friend group and group chats, and the "posting war" that can start online after a falling out. Allison explains why friendship loss is real grief, even when nobody seems to treat it that way, and shares a different approach: instead of blowing up a friendship, learn the "friendship dance" of setting boundaries, taking distance, and leaving the door open to come back.

Got a question you think about at midnight? Send it to [email protected] or use the anonymous link in the show notes. No names, no judgment.

Is it bad to practice flirting online? A listener sent in the question, so Allison asked a teen who's been there.

They talk honestly about how it usually starts as a joke with friends, what people actually end up seeing on random chat sites, why "just practicing" with strangers on Snap isn't really practice, and why someone who's confident over text can feel like a totally different person in real life. Plus a tip for older teens: feeling nervous at the start is completely normal. That's part of it.

Got a question you think about at midnight but would never ask in class? Email [email protected] or use the anonymous link in the show notes. No names, no judgment.

Dear Teen is part of a family of shows with Dear Tween and Don't Tell My Parents.

"At the end of the day, no one cares." A teen who used to game heavily sits down with Allison to answer the question everyone asks, but nobody actually explains: how do you stop? Not "just quit," the real stuff: the fear of being yourself outside the game, losing the prestige, being terrible at something new on purpose. If gaming feels less like fun and more like something you can't put down, this one's for you.

Why do I feel ugly after scrolling? A teen brought this question straight to Allison, and this episode goes there honestly: the algorithm content telling you what's "acceptable," the influencers who spend hours getting ready for a 30-second video, and why comparison feels impossible to escape once you're in it.

Allison and a teen guest talk through what's actually out there, why this isn't just a girls' thing anymore, and how to protect yourself without pretending the content doesn't exist – No lecture, no judgment, just an honest conversation.

Have a question you don't want to ask in front of class? Send it to [email protected], or send Allison a DM on Instagram @allisonochs

Some teens tell me their most honest conversations are with a bot, and as a social worker, I certainly have an opinion or two, but instead of lecturing you, I asked a teen what she thought.

She has done this; she understands the whys and made some powerful points. We didn’t always agree, but isn’t that the point of these conversations?

If you've ever typed something into a chatbot at midnight that you'd never say to a real person, this one's for you.

Questions? Thoughts? Things you'd only tell AI? Send them to [email protected] or use the anonymous link below. The advice column is back!

Dear Teen. Coming Soon.