Dear Vernon

Eric and Laura are back for another episode of Dear Vernon.

Eric almost showed up in a dress shirt and tie. He didn't. Instead, he rolled up in his hoodie and baseball cap after a bowl of Cinnamon Pebbles. (He has no regrets. He will have them for lunch too.)

This week's question comes from Karen, who's five months sober and asking something so many of us have wondered: when does the happy come back? Everything feels flat. Boring. Gray. She's not in danger of relapsing, she just wants to feel like herself again.

Laura and Eric dig into what "happy" actually means in sobriety and whether drinking was really making us happy in the first place, or just giving us the illusion of caring less. (There's a difference. A big one.)

They talk about the pink cloud (some people get it, some people — hi, Laura — absolutely do not), and why happiness might be the wrong thing to be chasing altogether.

What they land on: peace of mind, freedom, and meaning. Not the fleeting "yay!" kind of happiness, but the kind that holds you up when life gets hard, which it certainly will.

And for Karen and anyone else in the grind of early sobriety: the lights will come on. But you've got to change your life, not just quit drinking. Five months is huge — and it's also still early. Hang tight.

You can learn more about The Luckiest Club here 👈

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Laura McKowen and Eric Johnson tackle one of the most common (and least talked about) challenges in recovery: the profound loneliness that can show up after early sobriety.

This week’s question comes from a member of The Luckiest Club who’s over a year sober and struggling with what he calls “drifting through interstellar space socially.” 

The camaraderie of early recovery has faded, old relationships feel less relatable, and he’s wondering: if connection is the key to long-term sobriety, what do you do when you feel more alone than ever?

Laura and Eric get real about:

Why early sobriety loneliness hits so hard (and lasts longer than you think)

The awkwardness of making friends as a sober adult

How alcohol was a shortcut for intimacy that we have to rebuild without

The vulnerability it takes to ask someone “can we be friends?”

The energetic shift that happens when you stop hiding your sobriety

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In this episode of Dear Vernon, Laura McKowen and Eric Johnson take on a question almost everyone in early sobriety faces:

“I’m two months sober and I hate my job.
I’ve been told not to make big life changes in the first year…
So am I stuck here for 10 more months?”

It’s a real one.

There’s a lot of guidance out there about “no major changes in the first 12 months.”

But is that a rule? A myth? A suggestion?
And what do you do when the thing you want to change feels unbearable?

Laura and Eric chat about:

• Why early sobriety can feel wildly dysregulating
• Where the “wait a year” guidance actually comes from
• The difference between leaving from clarity vs. leaving from chaos
• Trauma responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) and how they show up in big decisions
• The temptation to “blow it up” when feelings get uncomfortable
• Why “wherever you go, there you are” matters more than you think
• How to know if something is truly toxic vs. just uncomfortable
• Why you shouldn’t make these decisions alone

Sobriety doesn’t mean you stay miserable.
It also doesn’t mean every uncomfortable feeling requires an exit strategy.

This conversation is about discernment.
And learning to tell the difference between growth and escape.

As Laura says, there is sanity in community.

If you’re navigating a big decision in sobriety — you don’t have to do it alone.

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If this episode resonates, subscribe, leave a review, and send it to someone who might need it.

And if you have a question for Laura McKowen and Eric Johnson, submit it here — we might answer it on a future episode of Dear Vernon.

See you next time.

In this episode of Dear Vernon, Laura McKowen and Eric Johnson respond to a listener question:

"Are you ever actually recovered, or are you in recovery forever?"

Laura reflects on what recovery means to her now, more than a decade into sobriety — how it’s shifted from something effortful and front-of-mind into something deeply integrated. Eric dives into the difference between sobriety (not drinking) and recovery (learning how to live, cope, and regulate without alcohol).

Together, they talk about:

• The difference between being sober and being in recovery
• Why early sobriety can feel so heavy, and why it doesn’t stay that way
• How recovery evolves as it becomes part of who you are
• Emotional sobriety, regulation, and learning healthier ways to cope
• And why recovery isn’t about arriving somewhere perfect

This is a conversation for anyone who’s wondered:
“Will this always feel like work?”
“Do people really do this forever?”
“Does it ever get easier?”

We offer three 13-week programs designed to meet you exactly where you are in sobriety:
👉 The Sober 90 by The Luckiest Club — The Luckiest Club
👉 The Sober Steady — The Luckiest Club
👉 The Sober Life — The Luckiest Club

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Submit it here — anonymously — and it might be featured on a future episode.

If the show resonates, leave a review and share it with someone who needs it.

Welcome back to Dear Vernon, where we answer real questions about sobriety without pretending it’s simple or one-size-fits-all.

In this episode, Laura McKowen and Eric Johnson dig into a question a lot of you have been asking lately:

What do we actually think about the new Surgeon General alcohol guidelines? 💭

And maybe more importantly… why do they feel so confusing?

We talk about:

• What actually changed in the guidelines (and what didn’t)
• Why vague public health messaging can be frustrating, especially if you’re already questioning your drinking
• The idea of alcohol as a “social lubricant” (and why that framing matters)
• How people tend to cherry-pick guidance when they’re already struggling
• What the research and data really says — including the landmark 2018 Lancet study
• Why clarity matters more than ever in a culture that already minimizes alcohol’s impact

This isn’t about shaming, fear-mongering, or telling anyone what to do. It’s about context, honesty, and helping you make informed choices, especially if sobriety is already tugging at you.

As always, we’ll keep having these conversations, because the questions don’t stop once you stop drinking.

If this episode stirred something up, you don’t have to sit with it alone.

Here’s how you can plug into TLC:

• The Sober 90 — for getting sober and building a strong foundation
  👉 https://www.theluckiestclub.com/the-sober-90
• The Sober Steady — for the messy middle (staying sober, learning regulation & resilience)
  👉 https://www.theluckiestclub.com/the-sober-steady
• The Sober Life — for long-term sobriety and emotional growth
  👉 https://www.theluckiestclub.com/the-sober-life
• Try TLC free for a week (meetings, community, real support)
  👉 https://www.theluckiestclub.com/free-week

• The 2018 Lancet Study on Alcohol Use & Health
  👉 https://www.thelancet.com/article/S0140-6736(18)31571-X/fulltext

• Vivek Murthy Paper
  👉 Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation

Have a question you want us to answer on a future episode?
Submit it anonymously here— we might talk about it next.

And if this episode helped, made you think, or made you feel less alone:
Leave a review, share it with a friend, or send it to someone who’s quietly questioning their relationship with alcohol.

We’ll be back soon. 💛

Welcome to the very first episode of Dear Vernon.

We know. You probably have questions.
Like… who is Vernon?
And why are people writing letters to him?
And how did this turn into a podcast?

In this episode, Laura McKowen and Eric Johnson sit down to talk through the why behind Dear Vernon—where the idea came from, what it’s meant to be (and what it’s not), and why creating a space for honest questions about sobriety felt necessary.

This isn’t a show about having all the answers.
It’s about making room for the questions.

The ones people are already asking themselves quietly.

You’ll hear us talk about:

• Why sobriety isn’t a straight line—and never has been
• What we mean when we say “Dear Vernon”
• Why advice isn’t always the point (and listening usually is)
• How community, curiosity, and honesty have shaped our own recovery
• What you can expect from future episodes

This podcast is meant to feel like pulling up a chair—not tuning into a lecture.

Thanks for being here.
Let’s see where this goes.

Have a question for Vernon? You can ask it here 👈

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Next round of The Sober 90 starts February 2nd, 2026.

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