Send us a text

In October of 2024 two dipshits disappeared in the woods near Shawnee, Oklahoma, while recording a podcast...

A week later their episode was found.

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video

Send us a text

M. Night Shyamalan is a normal director who everyone has normal opinions about, and when the man wants to, he can really construct a moment that makes you shit your pants. But what are his best six scares, and in what order? The American people demand to know.

Luckily, the crew from the How I Met Your Monster podcast - Danny Salemme, Casey Brewer, and Zach Wincik - stop by to help put the list together. And this isn't some boring everyone throw out your personal favorites list bullshit. No, the American people deserve better, and they get better, because everyone must come to a consensus on what the ranking of Shyamalan's six best scares are.

Things get spicy as debates are had over what's a scarier film overall - The Sixth Sense or Signs. What scare from The Village seems distinct enough like it could wind up on this list? Do any scary moments from more recent films like The Visit or Old wind up here, or is the past where the true gold lies? Is George Bush an alien?

The only way to find out is to find out, so get spooky and listen now!

Follow Danny on Instagram and Letterboxd and check out his official website!

Follow Zach on Instagram!

Follow Casey on Instagram!

Follow How I Met Your Monster on Instagram!

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video

Send us a text

Andrew McDonald (andrewww.mp4!) helps celebrate spooky season by stopping by to talk about Mel Brooks' minor classic Young Frankenstein and the vastly superior Ernest Scared Stupid!

What do these movies have in common? How are they different? How is the character of Ernest P. Worrell a little like Donald Trump? Did Ernest Scared Stupid go too far with its scariness, or are kids movies these days too soft?

Follow Andrew on Letterboxd and Instagram, stupid!

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video

Send us a text

Keegan Parrish (Monsterful Media) stops by to talk the "big eight" Universal Monster movies --

Dracula
Frankenstein
The Invisible Man
The Mummy
Bride of Frankenstein
The Wolf Man
Phantom of the Opera
Creature From the Black Lagoon

-- to dissect how they hold up scare-wise compared to each other, ruminate on how they show us how cinema has changed in the near century since they first hit screens, and celebrate their very existence. Some are better than others, and there's at least two and a half full on masterpieces in here, but we're glad they were made and that we have them forever. Thanks, Universal.

Buy Bryan D. Dietrich's Universal Monsters!

Follow Keegan on Instagram and Letterboxd!

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video

Send us a text

Spooky season rolls right along with the Unholy Trinity - Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and John Carpenter's Halloween!

Raygun Busch (frontman of Chat Pile!) stops by to dive into three stabbing movies that are all in conversation with each other.

Psycho hit theaters in 1960, scaring the shit out of audiences across America, suggesting that maybe the kids were not all right. A decade and a half later come the children of Psycho, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Halloween, on a different side of American history, taking what Hitchcock had done and expanding upon it in their own ways.

What are the differences between the three films and their makers, and what do they have in common? Which one's the best? Which is the scariest? How are different films frightening in different ways?

And...is it okay to admit that Psycho is Alfred Hitchcock's best movie? These two guys seem to think so.

Follow Raygun on Letterboxd and Instagram!

Buy Chat Pile's Cool World!

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video

Send us a text

Zombie freaks! We're kicking off spooky season right by talking about George A. Romero's first three zombie motion pictures - Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead!

Dalton Stuart (GoodTrash Media!) and Luther Manhole (guitarist for Chat Pile!) stop by to compare and contrast the first three Romero films, dive into the social issues, sick gore effects, DIY filmmaking, and much, much more!

Further learning!

Where Zombies Come From

Night of the Living Dead - Horrors of Copyright

Buy Chat Pile's Cool World!

Follow Luther on Letterboxd and Instagram!

Follow Dalton on Letterboxd and Instagram!

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video

Send us a text

hahahaha. ahahahah HAHA HEEE hee heee haw hee | dahhahah haha hahehehahha HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hAWW HA HA HA hee HEE ha HA hee hee ahh AHH AHA HAHAHA

AHhee haha hee hEEW HAHA HAHA AHAHHAHAHA

hahahahhahhahhha!!!!!! heehaHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH -- ha ha! hhahahha

heHAHAHAHA HAHE HEHAHAHA

heheh hahahah hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahah heh hah ahheh ah heh e;;;.... ah HAHAHAHAHAHA hee ha HAW Heee ha hahaha!!! heh ahhhah

hee haw hahhehah HAAHA;;;.. ahha ahahahaha!!! hahahahhaahahahah a hahahahaha ahaha ahahahahaha; ahahahaha a ahahahaha ahahahaha ha aha hahahahahaha hahahahaha ahah aheheheeeeha hehee ah;ahehehehahehaha ha ;heehahhhee aheha hahahahe hahaheh hahahe haheh.  ahej;hail dlskjafhc;dlskfn kdsamd
adcgciladshjf ;dksafj
adsafghadgsftyrrd657987foy9aoisdfhjbhiaegfy and
asdiyfgfadsliuh

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video

Send us a text

The Sandman flies solo this episode. It's late at night, he's sleepy, and he simply must tell you about two great westerns he watched back to back: John Ford's The Searchers and Howard Hawks' Rio Bravo!

But what makes these two John Wayne starring classics great? How are they different and sort of similar? One is a definitive Dudes Suck movie and the other is one of the first Dudes Rock movies.

AND FURTHER IMPORTANT QUESTIONS ARE ASKED, SUCH AS: Why are westerns so inherently lonely? What does a halfway healthy dude relationship look like? Vera Miles? (spoiler alert, the answer to that last one is a resounding yes)

So saddle up and listen to one sleepy, unqualified man try to make sense of the two classic westerns he crammed in one day!

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video

Send us a text

OKC's bad boy/cool uncle/resident little stinker Dalton Stuart (GoodTrash Media) stops by to talk about Francis Ford Coppola's normal new movie Megalopolis! And since Lionsgate had that whole marketing snafu based around "Hey guys, don't judge this thing too quickly," we recorded this in the car of the theater parking lot immediately after walking out! We're that committed to the bit!

Important things are discussed such as begrudgingly admitting Shia LaBeouf might give the best performance of the movie? Also, Coppola's ambitions are clearly admirable, but has he turned into an out of touch old guy who's been rich for too long? This is sort of the end of the movie brats era in many ways, so where does cinema go from here? Should we be sad or hopeful?

And stupid recording-in-a-parking-lot-to-stick-it-to-Lionsgate bit aside, what is the actual value of talking about movies?

Follow Dalton on Instagram and Letterboxd!

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video

Send us a text

Steven Spielberg is one of the most ubiquitous filmmakers to ever emerge out of Hollywood, and he changed the game forever because he's just so damn good at what he does. And one of the things he does best are set pieces, when Papa Steve really gets to flex his muscles and make a meal out of an important moment, such as the introduction of the T-rex in Jurassic Park, or the intersection sequence in War of the Worlds.

But what are his best ten? And in what order would they be ranked?

And who would be stupid enough to try and rank them?

Nick Sanford and Keegan Parrish, of course! Two Spielberg nerds who bonded over a decade ago at film school over their shared love of Papa Steve (gross, what a cliche) sit down and must hash out and come to a consensus on what The Beard's best set pieces are, and there are more than a few disagreements!

The films discussed and pulled from are:
Jaws
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
1941
Raiders of the Lost Ark
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Jurassic Park
Schindler's List
The Lost World: Jurassic Park
Saving Private Ryan
AI: Artificial Intelligence
Minority Report
Catch Me If You Can
War of the Worlds
Munich
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
The Adventures of Tin Tin
War Horse

More than ten movies, all filled with great set pieces. But there can be only ten. This was harder to do than you'd think. But it's important work that the American people demanded.

Follow Keegan on Letterboxd, Instagram, and check out his Monsterful Media channel!

Videos that give fun context!

See With Your Ears: Spielberg and Sound Design

The Spielberg Oner

(and in the podcast itself we discuss The Nerdwriter's video over the Omaha Beach sequence in Saving Private Ryan and how we'll put a link to it in the show notes; well, it seems to have disappeared entirely from The Nerdwriter's channel, possibly due to YouTube's new bullshit whatever rules)

Nick on Instagram
Nick on Letterboxd

Elusive | Official Website
Elusive | Stream Free on Tubi
Elusive | Rent/Buy on Prime Video