Decision Ease

Meet Decision Masters Program member Kirsten Parker! (Nope, we literally never get tired of that 😅) 

KJP shares extraordinary wisdom & personal stories in this interview! Including:

Here are just SOME of the highlights: 

How she made the MILLION decisions involved in changing careers efficiently with the help of the DMP...

[2:50] "I mean, there's like a million decisions...So that's all buzzing through my head. I'm scrolling through your site and it's like, 'Would you like to make decisions more efficiently?' And I was like, 'Oh, Uh, oh, this is for me.'"

[6:47] "Being able to hear myself more clearly was so critical. It was so important. And what that means to me is not just, you know, write down my priorities and goals — but hear what I want in my heart, more clearly.

And it takes some practice to be able to do that, and some tools, because the outside voices are very loud. There's a lot of people outside of me who have opinions and preferences and would be highly inconvenienced by this impending decision. And I felt very paralyzed by that."

Our decisions and other people...

[7:45] "I had that sense of responsibility toward everybody else, but I didn't have that sense of responsibility toward myself, and my purpose, and my life...I think I really needed to marinate in that, but not get STUCK there."

But how can you care about the people you care about AND want them to think you're making good decisions...at the same time that you prioritize YOURSELF and make decisions YOU think are right? 

Kirsten explains how this worked for her, and how it wasn't the "drastic 180" you might think!

[13:40]"By making decisions that felt true to me, and then telling people about it — that in & of itself inspired people!"

Choosing not to be a "Talk-it-Out Person" anymore...

[15:30] She successfully ended the "perpetual feedback loop" (when you think about deciding something, ask for people's opinions on it, and simply REPEAT).

[17:20] KJP explains how she went from a self-proclaimed "Talk-it-Out Person" who didn't know what she thought or felt about something until she got others' feedback on it...to someone who KNOWS what she thinks, KNOWS what she feels, and can just DECIDE and go!

"I don't need to run it by everybody else first!" 

What really happens when you set a goal then "change your mind"...

[21:50] "The reality is: life happens, and things change! And YOU change as a result. And because you change, it is totally acceptable to have different goals, and different values...And not just 'acceptable' but NORMAL...It'd be so weird if you had the exact same values and motivations as when you were 20!"

[23:00] "It was so freeing - SO FREEING - to say, 'Yes, that's what I wanted then, and that was ok. And here's what I want now, and that's ok. And in the future, there's gonna be something else that I want, and that's ok too!"

[24:00] The exact tool that helped her NOT beat herself up for changing her mind or giving up on things she'd invested so much time, money, ETC into...(Hint: it's Compassionate Self-Forgiveness)

How emotions about losing her first husband to ALS showed up in her decision to leave her job...

[28:15] "Surprises" are impossible to judge as "good or bad" in the moment. 

[31:40] The importance of being able to process ALL of that emotion in order to make CLEAN decisions about her career.

Clean vs. Muddy Decisions... 

[34:40] In the past, decisions felt very muddy & "I never felt like they were over."

"Now, being able to make these CLEAN decisions so I know these are my values, this is where I'm headed, this is what I want...I can handle other people's opinions in a way that's sensitive & thoughtful...It's very clean and easy [to make a decision]. And it's very clean & easy to change your mind and decide to do something else. And it's because I'm a Decision Master!"

Plus: The 3 Interviewee Questions!

When I joined, I thought "Ok, I'm gonna get these tools, I'm gonna be able to apply these tools, and move forward and make good decisions." Which happened, YES.

But, the magic was those group sessions. Where you would coach, and I would hear you coach someone else on a decision challenge they were having, and I would hear exactly what I needed to hear in that moment for the thing in my life.

And that's a secret magic sauce that you can't get anywhere else. It's so powerful to go through that experience with others. It really magnifies the ability for you to make progress. 

SO if you're a person who's considering meeting with Kirsten, spend that time! Take an hour...that coaching really helped. It helped me see who I am, and maybe some of the kind of "practical pitfalls" I was having in the past, and how I might move forward.

And it's been life-changing.

2. What kind of decision maker do you consider yourself to be? 

Calm, confident, enlightened, clean.

3. What's the most self-honoring decision you've made in the last week, that you want to share with us?

Tune in for KJP's answer about not overthinking her family's upcoming vacation — so good!

Kirsten Parker:

As a professional executive communications coach and adviser, Kirsten Parker helps corporate leaders increase their impact by becoming better, more influential communicators. She's worked with more than fifty C-level execs of Fortune 500 companies, and now helps consulting and IT executives one-on-one to become more impactful and influential communicators. Kirsten's clients achieve increased visibility and recognition at work and generate a legacy of impact for years to come. 

More links:

FEAR gets in the way of...what...99% of our decisions? 

But really, it's uninvestigated fear that's the problem.

If we're being honest, fear itself is a super useful, necessary part of life that we don't WANNA get rid of!

But we DO wanna stop making decisions out of habitual, default, auto-pilot reaction to fear.

(That's, of course, how we end up NOT going for that big scary thing we want...NOT doing the thing we know will grow us...NOT getting out of the situation we know is no longer aligned -- No thankee.)

Ready to become FLUENT in your fears, so you can trust every choice you make? 👉Get the deets on the DMP: Enrollment opens soon!👈

https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp

In this episode, we talk about:

Enjoy!

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After a particularly charged week (I describe in this episode how I just finished a weekend of "2 weddings and a funeral"...but really though...), I'm feeling rather raw, drained & also very PRESENT.

There were a lot of highs and lows over the last few days, and I knew that would be the case going into it. What exactly that would look like, however, I couldn't plan.

And for a PLANNER...that's not always the funnest feeling! 😐

I had ideas about how I wanted things to go, and how I didn't, and beyond that, I was just kind of -- open to what was going to happen.

If you think about it, this is how we might ideally approach a LOT of our life plans -- from big happy events to emotionally heavy ones to the almost mundane, everyday scenarios that end up comprising so much of our overall lives. 

Intentional and open. 

Over this weekend's events, I found myself thinking often of a foundational concept we study in the Decision Masters Program: Putting surprises, failures & feelings into every plan. 

It's a concept my clients master, and while it the result isn't "flawless, fearless humaning" (...not the goal!...) it DOES make an astounding impact on how you move through your daily life. From how you respond to problems, to how present you feel, to how yourself you are through all of it.

Ready to trust every choice you make? 👉Get the deets on the DMP: Enrollment opens soon!👈

https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp

In this episode, we talk about:

Enjoy!

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Real-time, it's August...but somehow my brain wants to already start freakin' out about 2023!

If you have anxious anticipation about anything coming up - especially "making the most of the end of the year!" - this is the episode for you!

I share how doing a (super quick) Decision Audit for MYSELF led me to make a fun, powerful, easy decision to join my next Coaching Mastermind 🎉 and how you can use the same process to find out what decisions YOU might wanna make next!

Ready to trust every choice you make? 👉Get the deets on the DMP: Enrollment opens soon!👈

https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp

In this episode, we talk about:

Enjoy!

MORE LINKS:

"Who am I, what do I want, where do I wanna go next?"

These are the questions that kept me STUCK for y-ee-ee-eears, and not just when I was unclear about my career path.

When you don't know how to simply & confidently answer these questions, ANY decision can overwhelm you. 'Cause how do you know the "right, best choice" to make (...for your next job OR for your next lunch date...) if you aren't clear on what you really want?

What we explore in this episode is how to answer that question - TODAY. Like, right now. 

Yup, no matter how many unknowns there are in the mix!

Get your FREE Decision Anchor Template to make your Vision, Goals & Values official! Get it at https://www.kirstenparker.com/13

In this episode, we talk about:

Enjoy!

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Not knowing what you want, what to do, or even who you are is probably one of the worst feelings on the planet.

And when you're wrestling with "clarity questions," it kinda doesn't matter if they seem SUPER HUGE or annoyingly small...

'Cause the truth is, EVERY decision is harder when you walk around your life thinking I don't know.

I don't know can start to flavor everything you come into contact with -- like pickles. (And I hate pickles...😣)

In this episode, we talk about:

Want to know the #1 thing you need to kickstart your momentum? TAKE THE MOMENTUM QUIZ! 👉Get your Custom Action Plan to Kickstart your MOMENTUM!👈 https://www.kirstenparker.com/quiz

What even IS a decision? 🤔

Before you dismiss this as a silly question, I'd love for you to try answering it. 

What are you doing when you "decide" something? What happens in that moment?

Turns out, this answer makes a big difference in how you treat your decisions!

My job is to help people hear themselves clearly about what they want, and set themselves up to TRUST what they decide to do about those dreams. (So I've thought a lot about this 😅)

Today, I'm sharing some KEY things Overthinkers like us need to know, so we can stop holding ourselves back from entertaining, let alone going after, our biggest dreams!

In this episode, you'll learn: 

Want to know the #1 thing you need to kickstart your momentum? Take the MOMENTUM QUIZ! 👉Get your Custom Action Plan to Kickstart your MOMENTUM!👈 www.kirstenparker.com/quiz

Enjoy!

Ok I admit it. I'm an efficiency enthusiast. 🤩

I love when things work well and no time's wasted. (You? SAMESIES??)

But I used to be addicted to productivity. Fixated on getting more done, faster...just for the sake of (...um...the same brainwashing we all got, not much more).

Today, my deep & passionate love for efficiency 😉 has a much calmer quality to it.

I love "saving time & energy" for the same reason my prone-to-hyper-productivity clients do: because we know how precious our resources really are. And we wanna be more selfish with them!

This is why the "E" of the SIMPLE Principles of Decisions stands for Efficiency.

Want the complete set of SIMPLE principles in Workbook Form? 👉Grab your Checklist here!👈 www.kirstenparker.com/checklist

In this episode, you'll learn: 

Enjoy!

You can feel confidently, powerfully decisive allllll day long 🤩 as long as you think you have OPTIONS.

So what happens when you inevitably find yourself stuck in a situation where you see NO options? 😐

...Or the options you do see are Crappy Version A and Crappy Version B? 🤔

You devour today's episode and restore your full sense of agency, of course!

The "L" in the 6 Principles of SIMPLE Decisions stands for Lots of Options. It warrants an entire episode because soooo many of us have built a habit to see zero options, at least in certain contexts.

While you may feel totally empowered and autonomous in your career...you may feel limited & stuck at home. Or vice versa! Or - you may be facing one of those decisions where you truly feel like you have no choice - that you HAVE TO do the thing. 

Want the complete set of SIMPLE principles in Workbook Form? 👉Grab your Checklist here!👈 https://www.kirstenparker.com/checklist

In this episode, you'll learn: 

What to we REALLY want? Well, it depends on what level you look.

At the deepest level, we want to make powerful, authentic, self-honoring choices that help us BE who we wanna be. 

But at the surface, we often simply want to make choices that help us avoid discomfort. Our default "wants" (aka our habitualized instincts, which we're not consciously choosing) can be to NOT rock the boat...to NOT make people upset...because that stuff's usually uncomfortable! 

The problem arises when prioritizing our comfort means deprioritizing who we want to be.

When that starts happening, it's time to get honest that all this "comfort" doesn't feel as good as we think! And it's time to start prioritizing YOU in your decisions (yup...MORE than other people).

In this episode, I share a story about a client deciding "It's more important for ME to be HAPPY with my decision than for other people to NOT to be UNHAPPY about it." - Pure gold!

This is the "P" of the 6 Principles of SIMPLE Decision Making: Prioritize You.

 Want the complete set of SIMPLE principles in Workbook Form? 👉Grab your Overthinker's Checklist here!👈 https://www.kirstenparker.com/checklist

In this episode, you'll learn:

Enjoy!