Deconversion Therapy

Karen and Bonnie discuss Proverbs 31—being a gawdly woman. They’re off to buy flax and wool to sell at the market, deliver sashes to who knows who, get up at the crack of dawn and make stuff for their household, while also dressing them oddly in purple and red. If you don’t know the verses in the Bible that tell all the tasks women need to be up to, then crack the Word.

Will you be on the toilet when the rapture comes? This week, Karen and Bonnie fumble through some rapture theories, reminisce about the times they thought they’d been left behind, and, well, that brings up the book series Left Behind—which spawned D movies starring Kirk Cameron and Nicholas Cage. Plus a gross letter about feet from a listener.

Bonnie and Karen attempt to explain why the incredible story told in the Netflix documentary that has everyone freaking out, Abducted in Plain Sight (spoilers ahead), makes more sense when you grow up in church.

More notes on our website.

In this episode, we reveal who we are: REALLY BIG CELEBRITIES. Or perhaps we discuss some real ones who are showing up as trendy Christians on social media—Chris Pratt, Justin Bieber, Sherilyn Fenn, Kendall Kardashian.

We kick off the show by telling you about a great podcast that takes on the more serious issues of deconverting from religion: Out of the Fold. They aim to unite all apostates in a supportive atmosphere. Check them out.

*Plus, we just opened a Facebook Page and Facebook discussion group. Please like, join, share. There’s a meme contest going on right now. If we choose yours, you get a podcast shout-out and a heathen prophecy. Our discussion group is private, so your mom won’t know a thing!

Karen gives a shout out to her soulmate David Spade before we introduce our new segment, “Quest to Not Be a Whiny Asshole.” Basically, it is something that made us happy from the previous week. Bonnie proves nicer and more intelligent than Karen by bringing up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs diagram and brags that she’s NOT severely lactose intolerant like Karen but still is in love with a creamer called Nut Pods (which Karen says reminds her of gonads).

Bonnie also brings back the convo to tennis and Rafa Nadal as she talks about her friend Brewster asking her about a perfect day and recounts enjoying the US Open tennis Fan Week.

Karen reads a letter from listener Eloise talking about how she, like Karen, was a tiny Bible scholar of the Bible. So much so that 7 or 8-year-old Eloise corrected her pastor during a sermon! She wishes her head had been filled with helpful information like the periodic table of contents. Me, too, child. Me, too. Yet, it was that study of the Bible that led me, Karen, right out the ass end of Christianity.

Karen’s QN2BWA (Quest Not to be a Whiny Asshole) was about schooling a super Christian on the fact that Paul never met Jesus. Again, Bonnie is the nicer of us, obviously.

Bonnie paraphrases an article from VOX about the new wave of Christianity being popularized by celebs like Chris Pratt, Justin Bieber, etc. The spin is about how the “new” church like Zoe, Hillsong, and whatnot.

But Ellen Page slaps back on social media and talk shows that Chris Pratt’s church is anti-LGBT and how it leads to self-hate and worse among youth.

We give free publicity to more celebs when Bonnie reveals she might be the same person as Sherilyn Fenn from Twin Peaks. And a story where Burt Reynolds would rather drown than be witnessed to. (Also in this episode: Eckhart Tolle, Russell Brand, Blair from Facts of Life, and Farrah Fawcett).

On this week’s episode, Bonnie and Karen discuss the fateful missionary trip of John Chau, a zealot young missionary who was killed by a remote tribe in late November of 2018. Then they recount their bumbling efforts of ushering people into the kingdom.