Deeper Still

After his son's serious illness and ultimate recovery, Matthew couldn't stop thinking about the abortions in his past. A mentor gave him the book by Karen Ellison, "Healing the Hurt that Won't Heal," and Matthew began to intentionally seek healing for his past. He found deep healing for his abortion wounded father's heart at a Deeper Still retreat. What he thought he would always keep secret is now in the light.

At age 18, Matthew's miracle son, Noah, became seriously ill. Matthew and his family were in crisis. This experience created a deep well of grief for Matthew, and he realized he was feeling the tremendous weight of two abortions from his past before he was married to his wife. These memories came flooding back as he had a spiritual encounter before the throne of God.

Matthew and his wife thought they would never have children, but God had a different plan. After the birth of their miracle baby, Noah, Matthew experienced great love for his son, and his life was enriched more than he could ever have expected. He wrote letters to his son several times a year, and when Noah graduated from high school, Matthew gave him the letters- letters full of love and encouragement. Then, Matthew and his wife found out that Noah's health was at great risk. Matthew's journey with God was going to take a deep detour.

Annette went through addiction recovery, but her abortion wounded heart, still had her bound. Then she went to her Deeper Still retreat and received a deeper healing and freedom from her abortion wounded heart. She now serves as a Deeper Still team member, comforting others with the same comfort that she has received from God.

Annette's childhood sexual abuse changed her and made her anxious, depressed, and she began to act out sexually. This culminated in an abortion at age 14, and an abortion which only made things worse and more acting out sexually. This led to two more abortions before she was 16. The abuse and abortions led to years of loss of trust, anger, substance abuse, and parenting struggles. It took decades for her to heal. 

Colette was involved with pro-life outreach for many years. As she researched how abortion impacted women, her heart changed from seeing abortion as primarily a political issue to seeing it as a heart issue. She realized all the damage that abortion can do to a woman's body and soul, and her heart was deeply grieved. After years of helping women through post-abortion bible studies, she felt led to help with Deeper Still retreats.

Marlene felt that God was punishing her for her abortion because of the difficulties in her life afterwards. She kept her abortion secret from almost everyone and carried shame and self-condemnation for many years until she started to commit her relationships to the Lord and later found healing through Deeper Still and the healing that continued after the retreat, and a special way that God showed her through His Word that she was redeemed and that she no longer needed to punish herself.

Marlene was a young, new Christian engaged to be married to a future pastor. Her marriage was not healthy, and she ended up leaving the marriage. She began to wander from God and ended up in a relationship, and discovered she was pregnant. She was told that she was probably miscarrying by her physician and had an abortion without confirmation of viability. The abortion led to feelings of worthlessness and secrecy.

After Kennie's abortion at age 18, she later got married and had a daughter, and then discovered she was pregnant with twin boys. She refused to consider abortion at the suggestion of her doctor when one of the twins experienced problems in utero. Although she had a fulfilling life, thoughts of her abortion plagued her. When a missionary told a story of child sacrifice in Africa, memories of her abortion came flooding back, and she knew she needed help. She went through a post-abortion healing study and then realized she needed deeper healing and went to a Deeper Still retreat. She now knows she is forgiven and is free of shame.

Kennie didn't feel safe after being sexually molested by a cousin. She didn't tell anyone. After her parents divorced when she was 13 years old, she was so emotionally shut down that she didn't even feel sad. She became very rebellious and her mother couldn't control her, so she lived with other relatives. She started partying later in high school, which led to clubbing after high school and a pregnancy. Though her boyfriend wanted to marry her, she felt her only way out was abortion. He found out about the abortion later, and she could see the hurt in his eyes. She also hemorrhaged after the abortion, but didn't feel safe going back to the clinic.