Defenders LIVE Podcast

I’m kicking off a new series on Defenders LIVE called You Can Do Hard Things, and my first guest is my good friend Bethel Wagner.

Bethel and I recently spent eight days training at Defenders University with Adam Winch. It was physically exhausting, mentally challenging, and full of lessons neither of us expected.

During one particularly frustrating rifle drill, Bethel was struggling to hit a tiny target when four little words popped into her head.

And those four words brought up something much bigger than a missed shot.

After training, Bethel wrote about the experience in her journal. When she first read it to me, I completely lost it. I mean, I really cried.

I recognized so much of myself in what she wrote.

I’ve had plenty of moments when I’m doing something difficult and suddenly the biggest struggle isn’t what’s happening around me. It’s what’s going on inside my own head.

And sometimes those thoughts have been there for so long that I don’t even question whether they’re true anymore.

That’s what I loved about this conversation. We talked about the stories we tell ourselves, how they can hold us back without us even realizing it, and how our faith helps us recognize what’s true when our thoughts are telling us something different.

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We also talked about learning to speak up when something isn’t working, finding strength when we’re exhausted, and why doing hard things can teach us so much more than whatever skill we’re trying to learn.

I started this series because I’m genuinely curious about people and what they’re learning through their experiences. I don’t expect anyone to have all the answers. I certainly don’t! But I think there’s a lot we can learn from each other when we’re willing to have honest conversations.

And Bethel was willing to share something pretty personal with all of us.

I’d love to hear what you take away from this conversation, especially if you’ve ever found yourself fighting a battle in your own head while trying to do something hard.

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I recently spent some time at Defenders University, and one of the days we worked on combatives with Jeremy Horn. My husband was my training partner, and let me tell you, there is nothing quite like having a 200-plus-pound man laying on top of you to remind you how much you don’t know. 😂

He wasn’t even trying to hurt me. He was just using his body weight, and I was struggling to do some of the most basic things we’d been taught.

It was frustrating, humbling, and honestly, a little scary to realize how difficult it would be to defend myself against someone that much bigger than me.

So I had plenty of questions when I sat down with Cecil Burch this week.

Cecil is the founder of Immediate Action Combatives, a third-degree Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, and someone who has spent decades figuring out how firearms and hand-to-hand fighting actually work together.

We talked about what happens when someone gets close enough that you can’t access your gun, why being a good shooter doesn’t necessarily make you good at fighting, and how easy it is to make a bad decision when things aren’t going the way you expected.

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One of the things Cecil explained was that we tend to go straight to whatever we’re most comfortable with. Shooters want to reach for their guns. Grapplers want to grapple. But knowing how to do those things individually doesn’t mean you know how to use them together.

I also asked Cecil about learning jiu-jitsu as a smaller woman because, frankly, I’m struggling with it.

I appreciated that he didn’t try to make it sound easy. He acknowledged that it IS an uphill battle, and that becoming proficient takes time and a lot of repetition. We sometimes expect to take a class, learn a technique, and immediately be able to use it. Then we get frustrated when we can’t.

I needed the reminder that struggling with something doesn’t mean I’m not capable of learning it.

Something else I found interesting was that after nearly five decades of martial arts training, one of Cecil’s favorite things to teach is how NOT to get into a fight.

We talked about awareness, recognizing potential threats, managing distance, and how much we might be able to prevent simply by paying attention to what’s happening around us.

I loved his perspective on what makes someone a good fighter, too. He talked about being confident in your ability to handle yourself without feeling the need to prove it. Being capable without being arrogant. Knowing your strengths and understanding your limitations.

And I really appreciated his heart for teaching. Cecil talked about how important it is to meet students where they are, especially when they’re new, intimidated, or struggling. He wants people to get better, and he understands that making them feel foolish isn’t going to help them get there.

I wish more people approached teaching that way.

By the end of our conversation, I was wishing Cecil lived a whole lot closer to Montana because I’d love to spend some time training with him.

I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know him, and I came away with a lot to think about and a few things I want to put into practice.

I think you’ll enjoy this conversation too.

Watch this week’s Defenders LIVE with Cecil Burch right here, and learn more about his training at IACombatives.com.

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As shooters, we spend a lot of time trying to become better shooters. We want to be faster, more accurate, improve our draw, get better at all the things we can measure.

But how much of that actually prepares us for what we’re carrying a gun for in the first place?

That’s a lot of what I talked about this week with Kevin Creighton. Kevin has spent more than 20 years in the firearms world as an instructor, competitor, and writer, and I really enjoyed his perspective because he looks at training a little differently.

One of the things we talked about was how easy it is to train for a situation we’ve already scripted in our heads. We imagine how something is going to happen, what we’re going to do, and how we’re going to respond. Real life obviously doesn’t work that way.

Kevin brought up things like using your environment to your advantage, actually carrying your gun instead of leaving it in the car, training from concealment, and being realistic about what our mission is as ordinary armed citizens.

And one of my favorite things he said was that he looks at the defensive pistol lifestyle more like jazz.

You learn the chords. You learn the fundamentals. You understand the context. But then you have to be able to respond to whatever is actually happening in front of you.

I had never heard anyone explain it that way, but it made a lot of sense to me.

We also got into Kevin’s novel Salvation, which led us into a completely different conversation about faith, strong male role models, doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, and living your life for something bigger than yourself.

There’s a lot in this episode, but the part I keep coming back to is that being a good shooter and being prepared to defend yourself are not necessarily the same thing.

Of course I want to continue becoming a better shooter. But I also want my training to make sense for my actual life, my actual mission, and the people I’m responsible for protecting.

Kevin gave me a lot to think about with this one, and I think he will for you too.

See more at quietlyarmed.com.

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Five oatmeal cream pies. In a couple of hours. Yep. I did that. And as ridiculous as that sounds, what happened in my head afterward is the reason I’m talking about it.

One poor choice became another. Then another. And pretty soon I wasn’t simply thinking, “That was a bad decision.”

I was in what I call the shame cave.

“You know better.”“Why can’t you control yourself?”“What’s wrong with you?”

That’s the part I want to talk about.

This week’s Defenders LIVE gets into something I’ve struggled with for a long time, my “perfect versus piece of s**t” mindset.

I’m talking about:Why one bad choice can make the next one easierHow accountability can quietly turn into shameWhy I learned to associate perfection and control with safetyWhy recognizing the pattern doesn’t automatically make it disappearThe difference between “I made a bad choice” and “I am bad”Why trying to perform my way back into feeling worthy never worksHow remembering who I am in Christ helps me make the next right choice

I’m still figuring this out. That’s actually why I’m talking about it.

Maybe the problem isn’t that we keep failing to be perfect.

Maybe the problem is believing perfect or worthless were ever our only choices.

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.defenders-live.com/subscribe

Apparently I “weenied down” a workout in Arizona, Adam cannot handle a computer without having a complete meltdown, and I hauled guns all the way to Arizona because HE begged me to bring them...only for us to never even use them. 😂

And that’s just where this conversation started.

Adam Winch is the founder and lead instructor of Defenders USA, but he’s also a good friend, and our conversations behind the scenes don’t usually look much like a formal interview.

So we decided to let you guys in on one.

We got into some ridiculous things we’ve seen online, bumper stickers and how much information we unknowingly give away about ourselves, some of the weirdest things students have brought to firearms classes, things Adam does that drive me crazy, things I do that drive him crazy, and why sometimes you can hear something 20 times before it finally clicks.

I’ve done some pretty serious episodes of Defenders LIVE lately, and I wanted this one to just be fun. There’s no single big topic. It’s pretty much what it sounds like when Adam and I have a normal conversation and you guys get to listen in.

Let me know what you think of this format and if we should do it again.

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When is enough, enough? I had been wrestling with that question, and then just hours later I became so sick that almost everything I normally do came to a stop.

No normal everyday life.No workouts.Almost no screens.Very little I could actually do.

And in the stillness, God answered the question in a way I wasn’t expecting.

In this week’s Defenders LIVE, I’m sharing something different... a journal entry I wrote after a few difficult days and what they taught me about:

* The difference between growth and constantly believing we need more

* How internal chaos can exist even when we’re surrounded by peace

* The ordinary blessings we stop noticing

* What happens when all the “doing” gets stripped away

* Pursuing goals from gratitude instead of believing we’re not enough

* Recognizing what God has already given us

I don’t want to have to get sick to notice my life.

Maybe enough isn’t something we’re supposed to finally reach. Maybe we need to recognize how much we’ve already been given.

Defenders LIVE is supported by you. To join our live group calls, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

Earlier this week, I was sitting with friends wrestling with a question: When is enough, enough? We were talking about my fitness goals, but I knew the question went much deeper than that. Hours later, I became incredibly sick, and for the next couple of days almost everything I normally do was taken away. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t train. I could barely read, write, or look at a screen. I was forced into stillness.

And in that stillness, God showed me something I hadn’t been able to see while I was busy doing, striving, growing, and pursuing the next thing. The peace I was looking for was already around me. So were the blessings. My family, my home, my health, my freedom, the ability to move my body, food, safety, nature, and a life filled with more than I had stopped long enough to recognize.

This episode is simply me sharing what I wrote in my journal after those few days and what I believe God was teaching me through them. I still believe in goals. I still believe in growth, discipline, and doing hard things. But I’m learning there is a difference between pursuing growth from a place of gratitude and pursuing it because we’ve convinced ourselves that who we are or what we have isn’t enough.

Maybe the question isn’t, “When will I finally have enough?”

Maybe it’s, “When will I recognize that I already do?”

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As a college student, she woke to an attacker kicking through her bedroom door. Years later, she found herself in an entirely different fight, trying to protect her aging mother during a years-long guardianship battle.

Those experiences taught her some hard lessons about what it really means to protect yourself and the people you love.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

* Why your instincts deserve your attention

* How small actions can buy critical time when something goes wrong

* Why women sometimes ignore red flags and what we need to do differently

* What stalking victims taught Liz about documenting threatening behavior

* Why every family should have important legal and healthcare decisions settled before a crisis

* The difference between owning a firearm and actually being prepared

* How to keep fighting while accepting that some things are simply outside our control

Liz turned some of the hardest experiences of her life into stories that now help other people become more aware and prepared.

Defenders LIVE is supported by you. To join our live group calls, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, Lora sits down with engineer, firearms instructor, and thriller author Liz Lazarus, whose fiction is rooted in experiences she never expected to live through herself. As a college student, Liz woke in the middle of the night to an attacker kicking through her bedroom door. She fought back and survived, but the experience changed the way she thought about vulnerability, preparation, intuition, and self-protection. Years later, she faced a very different kind of fight when a guardianship battle left her struggling to protect her aging mother within a system she expected to help.

Liz shares what both experiences taught her about listening to your instincts, recognizing red flags, documenting threatening behavior, preparing your family’s affairs before a crisis, and accepting that owning a firearm is not the same as being prepared to use one responsibly. Lora and Liz also talk about the helplessness that comes when you’ve done everything you can and still cannot control the outcome, and how faith, perseverance, and preparation help us navigate those moments.

Being a defender isn’t about controlling everything that might happen. It’s about recognizing what is within your control and preparing before you’re forced to respond.

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future conversations.

More at lizlazarus.com.

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What if the biggest thing keeping you stuck is a lie you don’t even realize you’re telling yourself?

“I just need to get motivated.”

“I’m waiting for the right time.”

“I really want it.”

“I’m just being nice.”

Sometimes those things are true. And sometimes they’re the stories we tell ourselves because the truth requires us to do something uncomfortable.

In this episode, leadership coach Matt Ware and I get straight to the heart of it.

We talk about:

Why motivation may not be what you’re actually missingHow being “nice” can become a way of avoiding hard truthsWhy wanting something isn’t the same as being willing to work for itHow past failures AND past successes can keep you stuckWhy honesty and personal responsibility are essential for real growthWhat it means to stop waiting and play the shot that’s in front of you

At the heart of this conversation is something every defender needs: the courage to tell yourself the truth, take responsibility for what is yours, and act on the shot that’s in front of you.

Defenders LIVE is supported by you. To join our live group calls, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, I sit down with leadership coach Matt Ware for a candid conversation about the lies we can tell ourselves without even realizing it, and how those beliefs can quietly keep us stuck. We talk about the tension between waiting and taking action, why motivation isn’t something you can rely on, and the difference between saying you want something and being willing to change your behavior to get it.

We also dig into the cost of being “nice” when honesty is required, why keeping promises to yourself matters, and how both past failures AND past successes can keep you from moving forward. Matt challenges us to look honestly at what we’re holding onto, what we’re avoiding, and whether the life we’re living actually lines up with the life we say we want.

Watch Ep. 197 of Defenders LIVE with Matt Ware at Defenders-LIVE.com.

More about Matt at www.themattware.com.

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If everything you’ve accomplished disappeared tomorrow, would you still know who you are?

That’s the question underneath this conversation with Defenders USA founder Adam Winch.

What started as an off-the-cuff discussion turned into a surprisingly personal conversation about identity, achievement, faith, and strength.

You’ll hear:

Why high achievers often struggle to recognize how far they’ve come

What happens when your career or accomplishments become your identity

Why the people you trust can sometimes see you more clearly than you see yourself

How difficult seasons can challenge your faith and draw you closer to God

Why true strength includes both toughness and tenderness

How the people around you can either limit you or call you higher

Defenders LIVE is supported by you. To join our live group calls, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, Lora sits down with Defenders USA founder Adam Winch for an unplanned conversation about identity, achievement, faith, and what real strength actually looks like. Adam shares his own struggle to recognize the level he has reached as a competitive shooter and instructor, and together they unpack something many high achievers wrestle with: the constant feeling that no matter how much you accomplish, you’re still not quite there.

But the conversation goes much deeper. Adam reflects on seasons when being a soldier, police officer, SWAT officer, and firearms instructor became part of how he defined himself, and what happens when those roles eventually end. Lora and Adam also talk candidly about faith through suffering, wrestling with God, learning to receive truth from the people who know us best, and why real strength can look like courage and toughness in one moment, then humility, tenderness, and service in another.

Being a defender isn’t about proving how strong you are. It’s about knowing who you are, who you belong to, and being willing to use whatever season, gifts, and opportunities God has given you in service to others.

Watch more at Defenders-LIVE.com or subscribe for future conversations.

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In this episode, Adam Winch shares the vision behind Defenders University and explains why the best training develops far more than technical skills.

You’ll learn:

* Why mindset matters more than gear

* How training builds confidence and character

* The legal and moral responsibility of carrying a firearm

* Why preparation is rooted in purpose, not fear

* How great defenders continue growing long after they leave the range

This conversation isn’t just for shooters. It’s for anyone who wants to become more capable, more thoughtful, and more prepared to protect the people they love.

Defenders LIVE is supported by you. To join our live group calls, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

In this episode of Defenders LIVE, Lora sits down with Defenders USA founder Adam Winch to introduce Defenders University, an immersive eight-day training experience that goes far beyond marksmanship. From handgun and rifle skills to low-light tactics, combatives, force-on-force scenarios, and decision-making under pressure, Adam explains why the goal isn’t simply to create better shooters. It’s to develop thoughtful, capable defenders who are prepared mentally, physically, and morally for life’s hardest moments.

Together, they discuss why mindset matters more than equipment, the responsibility that comes with carrying a firearm, and how meaningful training shapes confidence, character, and leadership. Adam also shares practical lessons on dry fire safety, legal decision-making, and why true preparation isn’t driven by fear. It’s driven by a commitment to protect what matters most.

Whether you carry every day or simply want to grow as a leader in your home and community, this conversation will challenge the way you think about training.

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.defenders-live.com/subscribe