Definitely First Blood

Is this a Halloween movie? No. Does it feature a costume party that tricked me into thinking it was? Yes! This week we’re talking about 1988 werewolf movie LONE WOLF!!! There’s so much going on in this one; there’s a hair band, lots of computer-talk, way too many main characters and some really great practical effects! We have absolutely no clue how old the characters are supposed to be, they are at once 17/21/30 and could be attending anything from a high school, to a college to some sort of magnate school or even a night class? Anyway, despite the lack of Halloween - this one is pretty fun! LET IT ROCK!

We’re back!? We kick off the ol’ Halloween season this week with BOO!!! A group of friends(who seem to hate each other) head on down to the local abandoned asylum/hospital on Halloween where they’re beset upon by a body-snatching ghost who wants to get out, but then theres also the ghost of a nurse and of a little girl. They’re sort of secondary. Not much of this movie made any sense or followed much of a plot but it had some good practical effects, the 2005 CGI wasn’t terrible and overall its fine. Lots of blue eyes. Anyway, NOOOOOOOOOOO!

It’s very, very hot so Christopher is getting cold solo this week with FROZEN SCREAM!!! What’s better than love and immortality? Well, if you ask the people in this movie… not much! There’s a trio of Dr. Scientists who are balls deep in experimenting with immortality by making people cold or something. When one of them is killed/zombified, his wife has to team up with her cop ex to figure out what happened? At least, that’s part of it. This movie really doesn’t make much sense and really isn’t very good. Still a fun watch for the psychotronic elements and just how bizarre it is. THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S LOCKED!

Pam Grier! Pam Grier! PAM GRIER! We’re talking Ernest R. Dickerson’s 2001 supernatural slasher-lite BONES!!! A trio of siblings and their friend decide to open a night club in a scary rundown house in the middle of a barren city street that once belonged to Jimmy Bones. Then he comes back for revenge against the people who killed him. Then there’s Jimmy’s psychic ex Pearl and her daughter. An attempt was certainly made and it starts off kind of strong with world-building and lore but quickly meanders, has one of the worst prosthetic applications and very little plot wise holds up to scrutiny. Visually, it looks great though! YOU COULD’VE DIED WITH ME!

We’re off to a remote house in California this week as we talk about 1972 made-for-TV suspense thriller THE VICTIM!!! The iconic Elizabeth Montgomery is fantastic in this movie as Kate, a woman who goes to visit her sister after learning about her impending divorce. But, when she arrives, her sister is nowhere to be found, there’s a raging storm and she’s trapped with no phone, no electricity and her sister’s killer in the house. There’s lots to like here! Great suspense building, acting and pretty solid writing, cinematography and direction! It does get a little repetitive, but it’s essentially a one-location film so that’s to be expected. NEITHER I, OR MY SISTER LIKE BOILED FOOD!!!

We’ve got our life preservers because this week we’re shipping off to William T. Naud’s ISLAND OF BLOOD to find out WHODUNIT?!!! A group of young actors arrive on a secluded island to film the most positive, happy rock musical that’s ever been made when they start being killed one-by-one according to the lyrics of a song. There’s dismemberments, unorthodox final girls and even a boiling! This one actually kept us guessing for the  most part and we both really, really enjoyed it! C’MON GUYS AND GALS(AND NON-BINARY PALS)!!!

TW: WE DISCUSS SEXUAL ASSAULT AT LENGTH IN THIS EPISODE!!! What happens when a bunch of terrible teenagers fuck around and find out? Satisfying revenge murders! This week we’re talking 1980 revenge/home invasion horror DEMENTED!!! After a woman returns home from recovering from sexual assault, she’s revictimized by a group of joker-masked twinks who she proceeds to pick off one-by-one. This one surprised us!

It’s Easter weekend and we’re talking about a movie that features not only a rabbit - but a character named Bunny! Did we only realize that while recording the episode? Yes. Am I running with it anyway? You bet! A disturbed physicist with an obsession with invisibility escapes an asylum and poses as a teacher at a school with exactly 6 students and one teacher in THE INVISIBLE MANIAC! While it has some funny moments and looks nice… neither of us liked it. It really did not age well. Savannah is great in it though!

It’s our SIXTH(!) St. Patrick’s Day episode and we’re closing out the original franchise with LEPRECHAUN 6: BACK 2 THA HOOD!!! Warwick Davis carries yet another movie, but they don’t give him much to work on in his final appearance as the titular Leprechaun and it’s an unfortunate send off. The world feels empty, there’s no cohesion, a razor-thin plot and with the exception of Jamie, there’s not a personality to be found amongst these characters. That said, it does feature a really good animation! STAY SAFE!

What happens when a “death rock” band heads to a remote cabin to try and help the front woman’s teenage sister recover from her self-unaliving attempt accompanied by a groupie, a nurse and a security guard? Murder, I guess. This week we’re talking about 1990 slasher film DEAD GIRLS!!! There’s a lot going on here, multiple loose threads that are never tied up, so many things that don’t make any sense or lead anywhere, lots of monologues and a really great death scene! JUSTICE FOR NANCY NAPALM!