Katie is a new caregiver, taking care of her mother who is in the early stages of “advanced cognitive decline.“ She’s also caregiving from a distance. She’ll discuss trying to navigate through this new experience and how she’s found support for both her mom and herself.

Want to share your story? Barbara would love to have you as her guest on Dementia Discussions. Please get in touch! (310-362-8232 / [email protected])

Today Barbara is joined by her friend and colleague Natalie Stanger. Twenty years ago, Natalie started a company to “help seniors do the things they could no longer do or didn’t want to do,” and it’s kept her busy ever since. Natalie talks about how she got into the world of geriatrics and found her niche as a Daily Money Manager (a “DMM”). They discuss all the things she does for her clients, from bill paying and mail management to simply keeping them company: “There’s no formula, it’s whatever people need.” One of her jobs is to help seniors with technology, particularly because seniors are so susceptible to fraud: “Technology is running so fast, people are overwhelmed and afraid of identity theft and fraud.” Natalie says she wants her clients to remain as independent as possible because that adds to their quality of life, but they need to be watched. “They don’t always make good decisions, and there are lots of people who want to take advantage of that.”

If listeners are interested in learning more about Daily Money Managers, Natalie suggests the website for the American Association of Daily Money Managers. On the site, you can enter a zip code to find a DMM near you.

Want to share your story? Barbara would love to have you as her guest on Dementia Discussions. Please get in touch! (310-362-8232 / [email protected])

Today Barbara is joined by Heidi Artman, who is caring for her husband, Lee. Heidi first noticed Lee’s memory problems in 2015, but it wasn’t until recently that he received a diagnosis. Because Lee has struggled with bipolar disorder since his early 30s, what was happening in his brain was difficult to diagnose. Heidi and Barbara talk about the complexity of brain disease and the research into whether components of bipolar are linked to a propensity to dementia. Heidi talks about Lee’s condition: Lewy body dementia is the main component now, and it’s progressing quickly. Along with body issues, Lee is also experiencing delusional states and hallucinations. Keeping him safe has been a challenge – she says the trick is to keep him asleep at night because if he wakes up, he thinks his dream is real. At first she hid the car keys so he wouldn’t drive the car in a delusional state, but he managed to find them. Now she keeps them in a safe. They talk about how difficult these situations are for the caregiver; Lee has absolutely no memory of his hallucinations so Heidi has to remember these traumatic events alone.

Would you like to share your caregiver story on Dementia Discussions? Call or email Barbara directly, she’d love to hear from you! (310-362-8232 / [email protected])

Today Barbara welcomes Denise to the podcast. An only child, Denise says she never saw herself as a caregiver, but when her mother was diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer’s, everything changed. She and Barbara discuss the complex emotions and transitions involved once you receive the diagnosis – not only for the one who gets the diagnosis but all those who care for them. Denise tells Barbara that hearing the diagnosis was confirmation that her mother was no longer self-aware enough to know what she needed. From then on, it was up to Denise to make all the decisions.

Would you like to share your caregiver story on Dementia Discussions? Call or email Barbara directly, she’d love to hear from you! (310-362-8232 / [email protected])

Today Barbara welcomes her colleague and friend Doria to the podcast. They discuss Doria’s experience caring for her mother, Jeanette, from when she had a stroke during the Northridge earthquake (1994) until she died at 82. Doria talks about how difficult it was to find caregivers due to their lack of resources, and how her mother was often mistreated and harmed by women they’d hired. Acknowledging her mother’s pain is what motivated Doria – at the age of 50 – to go back to school to become a geriatric social worker. She finds the work rewarding but also heart-breaking due to the lack of support available to lower income populations. She and Barbara discuss the ethnic and cultural disparities and how money is consistently the biggest barrier to adequate resources and support. 

Today Ed Mount joins Barbara to talk about his ongoing journey as a caregiver. Ed’s father died from Alzheimer’s in 2012 and his mother Judy is now suffering from the disease. He and Barbara discuss the different phases of Alzheimer’s and the various caregivers Ed has encountered throughout the years. Through his experiences, Ed shares what he’s learned along the way and what he wishes he’d done differently. 

When Adam Steinman’s mother-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s four years ago, his kids were two and six. Adam joins Barbara to share his experience caring for younger children and aging parents, a phenomenon known as the Sandwich Generation. Adam remembers his mother-in-law as incredibly vibrant and fiercely independent, a progressive thinker who would “always tell you what she thought.” For Adam and his wife, this made knowing something was awry that much more obvious. He and Barbara talk about the stress of “double caregiving,” feeling like you’re always choosing one over the other, and how he tries to normalize things for his children as much as he can. 

Today Barbara is joined by Gary Zembow and Marcy Lebovitz to discuss Gary’s mother, Esther. Now 94, Esther was born in Poland, and was the only member of her family to survive the Holocaust. Gary and Marcy describe Esther as bright, happy and cheerful, despite what she lived through as a child. They first remember noticing dementia symptoms after she had anesthesia for back surgery. It was never diagnosed, but they assume it was frontotemporal because she had trouble finding words. 

They talk about their caregiving journey as Esther’s symptoms declined, beginning at an independent living facility, then hiring private caregivers for additional support until it was clear she needed to be in a dedicated memory care facility. Gary talks about the painful experience of finding a memory care facility and the inadequate care his mother received there. “We battled the management,” he says, “but they refused to listen.” Almost two years ago, they found an opening at a small “Board and Care” facility, where Esther has been there ever since.

This episode is dedicated to Esther Zembow, who passed away after the recording of this episode. We send our love and condolences to Gary, Marcy, and everyone who loved and cared for Esther. 

Paul Spiegelman joins Barbara to talk about caregiving for his mother, Lila, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2015. At first, Paul’s father did all the caregiving while Paul, who lives in Dallas, did what he could to support his father (a “caregiver’s caregiver”). As Lila’s condition declined, Paul says he could see the strain on his father. That’s when he knew his parents needed more help. He and Barbara discuss the adjustment that comes when you bring in professional caregivers, and Paul describes the sense of security he now has, knowing someone is always there for them.

Steve Johnson joins Barbara to talk about caring for his wife of 22 years, Bonnie. In September of 2020, Bonnie was diagnosed with mild to moderate Alzheimer’s. He says the onset was radical – they’d taken a family trip in June but by August, Bonnie no longer recognized him. He tells Barbara about how much his life has changed in just two years, and his experience caregiving for someone who is too impaired to understand what’s happening to her. They discuss coping strategies and tactics for caregivers as well as ways to manage his own anger over all that he has lost.