In this episode of Dementia Discussions, I’m joined by Jefferson, a member of one of my caregiver support groups, who shares the powerful story of caring for his mother as she navigates dementia. Once a vibrant entrepreneur and theater producer, his mom was always the person bringing people together—making the changes in her memory and behavior especially difficult to witness.

Jefferson opens up about recognizing the early signs of cognitive decline, navigating a diagnosis, and facing one of the hardest realities caregivers encounter: realizing that bringing a loved one home isn’t always the safest option. We also talk about advocacy, memory care, and how finding the right environment ultimately brought peace of mind for both Jefferson and his mom. If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re making the right decisions as a caregiver, this conversation will resonate deeply.

Episode Highlights

[0:00] – Jefferson reflects on the moment he realized bringing his mom back home wasn’t a safe plan.

[1:07] – I welcome listeners back to Dementia Discussions and invite caregivers to share their stories.

[2:00] – Jefferson joins the show and shares the vibrant story of his mother’s life in theater, entrepreneurship, and community building.

[4:48] – The first subtle signs of memory changes begin to appear—and a powerful moment during one of Jefferson’s presentations raises concern.

[7:59] – After Jefferson’s father passes away, his mother’s cognitive decline accelerates while living alone.

[9:45] – Jefferson describes the growing caregiving responsibilities, including managing finances and noticing changes in behavior and mood.

[13:05] – Resistance to in-home help and the challenge many families face when trying to introduce outside care.

[14:14] – Seeking a formal diagnosis through his mother’s primary care physician and preparing for future care needs.

[18:10] – A frightening health crisis leads Jefferson to rush to Palm Desert and call emergency services.

[20:09] – Transitioning from hospital care to assisted living—and learning the limitations of what assisted living can provide.

[22:30] – Jefferson’s plan to temporarily move his mother back home in order to manage mounting care costs.

[25:10] – Within minutes of bringing her home, Jefferson realizes the situation is not safe and that professional care is necessary.

[27:22] – I share how many caregivers experience the same hope of bringing a loved one home—and why it often doesn’t work.

[28:22] – Jefferson goes into full advocate mode at the hospital, pushing for a new discharge plan and appropriate care.

[32:12] – The turning point: hospice and palliative support open the door to a new memory care placement.

[34:45] – Jefferson describes the smaller memory care community where his mom now lives safely and happily.

[36:56] – Weekly updates from staff and the relief of knowing his mother is well cared for.

[38:07] – Understanding hospice and palliative services as supportive care—not only end-of-life care.

[41:10] – Visiting his mom regularly and navigating the emotional reality that she’s still there—but not the same.

[42:19] – The importance of caregiver support groups, friends, and family during the caregiving journey.

Caregiving can feel incredibly isolating, but conversations like this remind us that none of us are alone in the journey. 

Do you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing this content.

In this episode of Dementia Discussions, I am joined by Elizabeth Fluck and Meredith Eden of The Hummingbird Project, and what a meaningful conversation this turned out to be. If you’ve ever wondered how to truly enhance quality of life for someone living with dementia—not just manage symptoms, but spark joy—this episode is for you.

We talk about the power of social connection, therapeutic engagement, and why isolation can be so detrimental, especially for seniors and those who cannot easily advocate for themselves. Elizabeth and Meredith share how their strength-based, individualized approach is transforming dementia care through creative arts, purposeful activities, and even virtual programming. You’ll walk away with practical insight and, I hope, a renewed sense of possibility.

Episode Timeline

[0:48] – I kick off Season 4 and reflect on the importance of community and connection for caregivers.

[2:12] – Elizabeth shares how volunteering in a nursing home as a teenager led her to a lifelong passion for working with seniors.

[3:55] – Meredith talks about her background in drama therapy and how she found her true calling on a memory care floor.

[7:49] – We discuss why socialization is more than brain games—and why isolation is especially harmful for seniors with dementia.

[10:30] – The origin of The Hummingbird Project and the need for a true “quality of life” model in elder care.

[12:09] – What one-on-one therapeutic engagement actually looks like—and how specialists tailor activities to each individual.

[15:41] – Beautiful examples of rediscovering talents, including harmonizing with a violinist and reconnecting with professional identity.

[16:52] – “They’re going to forget anyway”—we address this common concern and explain why the moment still matters.

[17:57] – How engagement impacts stress levels, body chemistry, and overall wellness—even if the memory fades.

[20:09] – The flexibility of meeting clients wherever they are: at home, in facilities, or even in the hospital.

[22:35] – The virtual engagement program and how even clients who seem “non-engageable” can thrive online.

[29:19] – How the program supports caregivers by filling in afternoon downtime and reducing agitation.

[33:46] – Navigating resistance to care and how Hummingbird can be the first supportive presence in the door.

[35:26] – How services are structured, billed, and customized to meet each client’s needs.

[42:46] – The partnership with Family Caregiver Alliance and the “Let’s Get Away Together” virtual group experience.

[45:17] – Travel themes, shared stories, and creating meaningful community for caregivers and their loved ones.

[50:47] – The flexibility of scheduling and why there is no rigid commitment structure.

Do you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing this content.

In this episode of Dementia Discussions, I sit down with Lisa Jo, a longtime member of the support group I co-lead at the Mary S. Easton Center for Alzheimer’s Disease Research at UCLA. Lisa has been navigating the complex, emotional, and often overwhelming role of long-distance caregiving, and today she opens up about her mother’s dementia journey, her father’s decline, and what it was like to step into full-time caregiving during one of the most difficult times in her family’s life.

Lisa shares so honestly about the unexpected challenges she faced—sun-downing behaviors, shifting family dynamics, medication management, caregiver burnout, and the heartbreaking realities that arise when a parent no longer recognizes you. She also gives a heartfelt look at the meaningful moments she was able to create with both of her parents during their final years together. Her story is raw, authentic, and full of wisdom for any caregiver walking a similar path.

Episode Highlights:

[00:00] – Lisa describes early signs of her mom’s sun-downing and the moment her mother no longer recognized her.
 [00:37] – I welcome listeners to Season 3 and share my gratitude for the community.
 [01:31] – Introducing Lisa Jo and her connection to our UCLA support group.
 [02:02] – Lisa paints a picture of who her mom was before dementia—independent, outgoing, and full of life.
 [03:23] – The beginning of her mother’s cognitive decline and early safety concerns.
 [04:40] – The emotional toll on her dad as her mom’s personality and memory shifted.
 [05:50] – Life in independent living and when Lisa decided to seek out caregiver support.
 [07:02] – Lisa realizes her dad is overwhelmed and begins exploring outside help.
 [08:40] – Moving in with her parents for 15 months during her dad’s illness and recognizing the true extent of her mom’s impairment.
 [10:38] – Her dad relinquishes caregiving responsibilities as his own health declines.
 [12:01] – Balancing full-time remote work while caregiving for both parents.
 [14:40] – Challenges in communication, accusations, and emotional upheaval caused by dementia.
 [15:50] – A bittersweet moment when her mom mistakes her for “someone familiar.”
 [16:50] – Rebuilding an adult relationship with both parents and finding unexpected closeness.
 [18:52] – How fortunate timing, flexibility, and family planning made care possible.
 [20:00] – Her father’s passing and preparing her mother for the transition to memory care.
 [21:37] – Moving her mom into memory care and the thoughtful steps she took to ease the adjustment.
 [23:46] – Personalizing the new space with colors, familiar furniture, and meaningful artwork.
 [26:07] – Navigating her mom’s grief and repeated questions after her dad’s death.
 [28:21] – Using fiblets and reassurance to support her mom emotionally.
 [30:58] – Long-distance caregiving today—video calls, late-night reassurance, and new complications with care-facility rules.
 [33:18] – Adjusting to limited access and advocating for communication options.
 [34:31] – Traveling back East periodically and managing a new diagnosis: multiple myeloma.
 [36:06] – How the support group has helped Lisa through education, connection, and emotional release.
 [37:30] – Navigating guilt as a long-distance caregiver and honoring her parents’ wishes.
 [39:45] – The biggest silver lining—deepening her relationship with both of her parents.
 [42:16] – Closing the conversation with gratitude and reflection.

Do you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate,

In this episode, I sit down with dementia counselor, educator, and author Tami Anastasia for a deeply meaningful conversation about what really drives behavior in dementia care. We go beyond surface-level symptoms and talk about the powerful role personal history, emotional patterns, and past trauma play once the brain can no longer filter or suppress them. This is one of those conversations that can completely change how you see dementia caregiving.

Tami joins me to discuss her newest book, Dementia Caregiving & Personal History: How to Help Cope, Connect, and Heal, and why this journey—painful as it is—can also be an opportunity for healing for both caregivers and those living with dementia. We explore how connection replaces correction, why the soul does not get dementia, and how caregivers can respond with empathy, reassurance, and boundaries instead of guilt

Episode Highlights:

 [0:00] – When words fail, how caregivers can still connect by speaking to the soul
 [1:26] – Introducing Tami Anastasia and her work in dementia counseling and education
 [3:27] – Why dementia behaviors often connect to unresolved personal history
 [6:45] – How past trauma resurfaces when coping mechanisms disappear
 [9:01] – Caring for someone who didn’t take care of you—and setting boundaries
 [12:11] – Using personalized language to reduce agitation and fear
 [16:16] – Honoring identity and work history in dementia care
 [19:02] – Caregiver guilt, grief, and the emotional weight of placement decisions
 [24:23] – Fear-based family histories and nighttime paranoia
 [29:16] – Personality traits intensifying as dementia progresses
 [31:56] – Listening to emotional themes, not just words
 [34:56] – The power of non-verbal connection when language breaks down
 [38:01] – Giving caregivers permission to acknowledge their limits
 [40:05] – How to find Tami’s books and upcoming audiobook release 

Links & Resources:

 Tami Anastasia's Book Dementia, Caregiving, and Personal History: How to Help, Cope, Connect, and Heal: https://a.co/d/4qoXZ2d 

Do you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing this content.

In this heartfelt episode of Dementia Discussions, I sit down with Christine, a member of my Alzheimer's Los Angeles caregiver support group and a wife navigating the difficult journey of her husband Steve's early-onset dementia. Christine and I talk about their 46-year marriage, how his brilliant legal career slowly unraveled, and the emotional toll that comes with losing the person you love in pieces.

Christine shares her personal reflections with honesty, humor, and wisdom. From the early warning signs she didn't recognize, to the agonizing process of telling their adult children and his law firm, to letting go of the life they once knew—Christine brings us into the deeply personal and complex world of caregiving. If you're a spouse, partner, or family caregiver, this episode is full of truths you’ll likely recognize and encouragement you didn’t know you needed.

Episode Highlights: 

[0:40] - Meet Christine and hear how she and Steve met at debate camp as teenagers 

[2:20] - A young love story and a 46-year marriage built on intellect and conversation 

[5:13] - Early signs of cognitive decline during COVID and the initial diagnosis 

[10:15] - The emotional toll of hiding the diagnosis from family and Steve's law firm 

[13:55] - Steve's resignation and the loss of identity that came with it 

[16:55] - Language loss, isolation, and grief within the marriage 

[22:31] - Comparing dementia caregiving to a marathon and facing unpredictable hurdles 

[25:14] - The driving dilemma and setting boundaries for safety 

[29:47] - How caregiving affects patience, control, and old communication habits 

[34:01] - Traveling with someone with dementia and adapting routines 

[39:26] - Christine's coping tools: painting, music, exercise, and alone time 

[42:02] - Recommended reads: Travelers to Unimaginable Lands and Loving Someone Who Has Dementia 

[44:34] - Ambiguous loss and grieving someone who is still here 

[45:52] - Financial challenges and the burden of full responsibility 

[48:49] - Drawing lines for when to seek help or facility care 

[52:15] - Silver linings: finding support in adult children and reclaiming time for herself 

[56:18] - Learning to ask for help and connect with others in vulnerable moments

Do you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing this content.

This week on Dementia Discussions, I sit down with someone very close to my heart—my childhood best friend, Madeline Jaye. We reconnected after many years, and I was deeply moved to learn that she’s been navigating her own journey as a caregiver to her mother, Bonnie, who now lives with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. Madeline doesn’t just share her caregiving story—she’s also transformed her experience into a one-woman play that’s as hilarious as it is heartbreaking.

In this episode, Madeline and I reflect on what it means to care for someone who didn’t always care for you, how humor can be a powerful coping mechanism, and the complexity of aging, memory loss, and family dynamics. You’ll hear about the signs she missed, the chaos she uncovered, and the incredibly creative outlet that helped her process it all. Whether you're a caregiver, a theater lover, or simply someone interested in the raw truths of dementia, this conversation will stay with you.

Episode Highlights:

 [1:43] Reconnecting with Madeline and discovering her caregiving story
 [3:15] When the signs started—how Bonnie's independence masked memory loss
 [5:27] Understanding “cognitive reserve” and its role in delaying diagnosis
 [7:50] The pivotal moment when Madeline confronted her mom
 [10:36] Navigating testing, early resistance, and inconclusive results
 [12:53] Bonnie’s home life and hygiene—early warning signs surface
 [17:41] The uphill battle of introducing help and home care
 [20:04] Strategies and resistance to caregiving support
 [23:40] Learning to separate the disease from the person
 [26:17] How Madeline’s play came to life—and the powerful message behind it
 [34:56] Playing every character in a solo performance
 [35:26] Humor in the heartbreak—yes, there’s bacon in the dish cabinet
 [39:27] Managing Bonnie’s bills, hoarding, and household neglect
 [44:36] The overwhelming task of stepping into her mom’s financial chaos
 [47:05] What made it into the play—and what may come next
 [48:17] Why writing became Madeline’s most powerful coping tool
 [50:01] Where and when to catch Dementia and Other Exit Strategies live
[51:22] Reflecting on Bonnie—the dynamic woman we both knew 

Links & Resources:

• Madeline Jaye's Play Info: Dementia and Other Exit Strategies
  September 26 & 27 at IRT Theater, 154 Christopher Street, NYC
• Instagram: @madjmoves

Do you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing this content.

I’m honored to welcome Steve Lavapies, a devoted son and a thoughtful member of one of our UCLA caregiver support groups. Steve shares the deeply personal journey of caring for his mother, a brilliant and resilient woman who immigrated to the U.S., became a physician, and faced a long and complex decline due to physical illness and dementia.

In this episode, Steve opens up about the realities of caregiving as an only child, the emotional and logistical weight of moving his mom through assisted living, memory care, and ultimately hospice. We talk about guilt, grief, resilience, and the hard but beautiful truth that connection, even in decline, is possible.

Episode Highlights:

[1:20] - Introducing Steve, a fellow UCLA support group member and caregiver for his mom
 [2:31] - A portrait of Steve’s mom before dementia—her bold immigration story and medical career
 [4:33] - Moving to LA to be closer to family and transitioning into assisted living
 [6:27] - Early physical decline and recognizing the signs of needing more care
 [8:39] - The beginning signs of cognitive decline during the pandemic
 [12:10] - A shocking moment during cognitive testing and a mindset shift in caregiving
 [14:15] - Navigating caregiving solo as an only child
 [18:59] - Dealing with facility limitations, caregiver compatibility, and daily oversight
 [20:46] - When her sharp personality began to fade, and what Steve missed about it
 [25:06] - The transition to memory care—logistics, emotion, and adaptation
 [29:46] - Watching physical abilities diminish, and the bittersweetness of presence
 [33:28] - The parallels between dementia care and parenting, and giving yourself permission to rest
 [35:49] - The fall that changed everything and led to hospice care
 [41:46] - Experiencing grief, guilt, and—eventually—relief
 [44:15] - The value of support groups and shared stories in the caregiving journey
 [47:18] - The moment of recognition in community—“We had the same mother!”
 [48:13] - Reflecting on Steve’s strength, his mother’s legacy, and the healing power of story

Links & Resources:

• Visit the podcast website: https://dementiadiscussions.net
• Call Barbara directly at 310-362-8232

If this episode touched you or helped you feel a little less alone, please consider rating, following, sharing, and reviewing the podcast. Your support makes a world of difference, and helps this community of caregivers continue to grow. Thank you so much for listening, and I’ll see you next time on Dementia Discussions. 💙

Welcome back to Dementia Discussions. In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with my dental hygienist, Lorena Llamas, who opens up about a deeply personal journey—caring for her beloved father, recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. What started as small, everyday memory lapses soon led Lorena down a path of advocacy, navigating doctors, family dynamics, and the emotional rollercoaster of watching a parent change before your eyes.

Lorena shares tender stories about her dad's lively spirit, his close bond with family, and how a recent family cruise turned into a powerful wake-up call about the realities of dementia. We talk about everything from medical advocacy and caregiver burnout to finding humor in the hard moments and the importance of social connection. This conversation is full of heart, wisdom, and the kind of real talk that caregivers everywhere will relate to.

Episode Highlights:

 [2:06] - Lorena introduces her father, a hardworking man with a big heart and a history of resilience.
 [3:34] - The first signs of memory loss and how repeated questions raised red flags.
 [6:33] - Struggles with getting a diagnosis and advocating through medical skepticism.
 [10:50] - Family dynamics and the neurologist’s push for more frequent interaction.
 [14:15] - Sweet memories and painful moments of forgetfulness begin to unfold.
 [16:54] - A cruise trip becomes a wake-up call: wandering, confusion, and safety concerns.
 [20:47] - The challenges of tracking and protecting a loved one with dementia.
 [28:00] - Public outbursts, constant apologies, and navigating loss of social filters.
 [36:11] - Lorena’s concerns about her mom’s emotional and physical toll as the primary caregiver.
 [39:10] - Exploring adult day programs and activity options for increased socialization.
 [43:44] - Watching long-term memory fade: the heartbreaking loss of a signature.
 [49:26] - Coping through humor, family support, and holding on to moments of joy. 

Do you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing this content.

Welcome back to Dementia Discussions! I’m so grateful to be back with you after a bit of a hiatus, and today’s episode is a truly meaningful one. I sit down with Dr. Miriam Winthrop, an adult and geriatric psychiatrist whose compassionate approach and wealth of knowledge make her a true gem in the dementia care world. We open up about the recent California fires that disrupted both our lives and how trauma and caregiving intersect, especially in these unpredictable times.

This conversation dives deep into the emotional, medical, and behavioral complexities of dementia. Dr. Winthrop shares how she supports individuals from the early signs of cognitive decline to the later stages of dementia, helping both patients and their families manage symptoms, medication, and caregiving strategies. Whether you’re navigating a new diagnosis or have been caregiving for years, this episode offers insight, validation, and practical tools for every step of the journey.

Timeline Summary

[1:33] – Introducing Dr. Miriam Winthrop and reconnecting after the LA fires
[6:37] – How patients find their way to a geriatric psychiatrist and the signs of prodromal dementia
[10:24] – The complexity of diagnosing mild cognitive impairment (MCI)
[15:43] – Understanding MCI, psychiatric symptoms, and the role of early treatment
[18:58] – Leqembi and considerations around early intervention and clinical trials
[21:28] – Aricept, Namenda, and their behavioral uses in dementia care
[28:15] – Behavioral challenges in moderate dementia and non-medication strategies
[31:39] – Communicating creatively with loved ones using the DARE method
[36:20] – What causes delirium and how to spot it in dementia patients
[40:19] – The emotional toll and shifting family dynamics in the middle to later stages
[45:41] – Acceptance, letting go of expectations, and redefining “normal”
[47:57] – Medication tapering and palliative care considerations in late-stage dementia
[51:57] – When hospice is involved and the importance of rational medication management

Do you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing this content.

Welcome to the first episode of season three of Dementia Discussions! In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Charlene, a dedicated caregiver navigating the emotional and practical challenges of supporting her sister-in-law with Alzheimer’s. Charlene brings a unique perspective as a sister-in-law and sibling, sharing deeply personal stories about her family's journey through this devastating disease.

We explore the complexities of caregiving, from handling denial and family dynamics to managing difficult conversations and making tough decisions. Charlene’s resilience, compassion, and humor shine through as she offers practical tips, emotional insights, and a dose of inspiration for anyone on a caregiving journey. This conversation is a powerful reminder that even in the hardest moments, there is love, laughter, and hope.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] - Charlene shares her caregiving mantra: D.A.R.E. (Don’t Argue, Reason, or Explain).
[0:41] - Barbara welcomes Charlene and introduces her caregiving journey.
[5:59] - The early signs of Alzheimer’s: identifying memory issues and the challenge of family denial.
[10:46] - The driving dilemma: taking away keys and navigating emotional fallout.
[15:09] - Strengthening family bonds and maintaining a united front in caregiving.
[19:50] - Addressing the role of denial in Alzheimer’s diagnoses and caregiving.
[27:05] - Stories of wandering: handling safety concerns and learning to adapt.
[34:42] - The need for outside help: hiring caregivers and planning for future care.
[35:39] - Charlene’s self-care strategy: the power of a “three-hour vacation.”
[39:26] - Building a support network and the importance of acceptance in caregiving.
[45:24] - Creative caregiving solutions: using scrapbook projects and games to connect.
[48:24] - Patience and compassion: navigating daily challenges with grace. 

Do you have a caregiving story to share? Barbara would love to hear from you! Please leave her a message at 310-362-8232 or send her an email through DementiaDiscussions.net. If you found value in today's episode, please don't forget to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing this content.