In this solo episode of Bipolar She, I talk about how a lithium dose reduction triggered a bipolar crisis and led to brain fog, confusion, sleep disruption, exhaustion, and intrusive suicidal thoughts--thoughts about suicide that were clearly not my own--but still deeply disturbing. What began as a small psychiatric medication change turned into nearly a month of instability, pulling me away from life and even away from the podcast. Ugh!

I had started this adjustment in my lithium dose because of my tremor (see episode Lithium: Why I Shake) A med adjustment can often have so much hope attached to it. Will I feel more like myself? Will life be richer and fuller? Will my senses work better and will I even excel more athletically? 

But for my bipolar disorder 1 disorder, even a small lithium taper (a form of medication change), sent me on a roller coaster of a month this March--and potentially a life threatening ride. Ultimately, I was met with defeat. I rarely have any luck during a change, but I still take the risk, with the hope of having a better life. This episode is about bipolar disorder, lithium, suicidal thoughts, psychiatric medication tapering, and how destabilizing even a small med change can be.

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Bipolar She is dedicated to real conversations for women living with mental illness. Hosted by Janine Noel, the majority of episodes give voice to a woman who has lived-life experience with mental illness--or who has experienced the illness of someone close to them. Along the way, I interview experts in the field that address additional mental health concerns.

Frankly, coping with a mental health condition can be exhausting. Here's a place where you can land and find an episode that resonates with you. Some topics we've covered: being a bipolar mom or having a bipolar mom. Anxiety, agoraphobia, chronic depression, ECT, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, a psychiatrist that breaks your trust. A therapist who goes above and beyond to help you. The impact of trauma on your brain. 

Bipolar She couldn't have thrived without guitarist, JD Cullum's original music.

Editor Brandon Moran makes everyone's voice sound both crisper and smarter.

Sponsored by Amy Vincze's Emotional Freedom Technique App: Soar With Tapping.

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