Join me for a behind the scenes look at my private bedtime medication routine, in which I fight through intrusive thoughts and fears before falling asleep. For me it's a battle with Seroquel and the strange paradox where it stirs up my mind before putting me to sleep.

I talk through what insomnia means for mania risk, why psychosis feels closer in the dark, and how intrusive, even spiritual, panic can crash in before sedation takes hold. We get practical about my 9:15 wind-down, how to read early signs that a backup will be needed, and what the morning after costs in focus, mood, and energy. You’ll hear the honest math of “best available” choices: antihistamines that fog the next day, benzodiazepines that demand caution, and Seroquel, an antipsychotic that delivers sleep but can open the door to racing, violent thoughts on the way there.

If you’ve ever faced the 3 AM question of how long you can keep doing this, you’ll find language and tools for that hour, and a reminder that morning usually brings a different view.

If this resonates, share the episode with someone who needs it, subscribe for more real talk on living with bipolar disorder, and leave a review with your own sleep strategies so others can learn from you.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

What if you stopped measuring your worth by output and started honoring your reality? Today I sit down with Dr. Portia Preston, public health scholar and professor on the front lines of inclusive wellness, and the author of Hustle, Flow, or Let It Go—to explore a humane, shame-free approach to mental health and daily life. After a sudden kidney disease diagnosis and late ADHD/autism diagnoses, Portia rebuilt her framework for thriving. She learned to look at her energy as fluctuating capacity, centering a simple truth: you are worthy because you exist.

What are the costs of tying identity to productivity, especially for those navigating invisible illness and disability? How does race and gender shape mental health experiences for Black women? From masking and misread depression to stigma that delays diagnosis.

Portia breaks down her three-part model: Hustle when survival or your season demands it, Flow to restore joy and resilience, and Let It Go to revise plans, change environments, or release expectations that no longer serve--all why confronting shame. 

Portia shares practical tools: five to ten-minute mini-retreats that fit real schedules, and a weekly blueprint that checks in on mind, body, and spirit while setting clear yes's and protective no's. If wellness has felt like another chore, this conversation offers a gentler way to build support, create margins, and live with intention.

If this resonates, share the episode, subscribe for more, and leave a review to help others find the show. Tell us: which lever do you need today—Hustle, Flow, or Let It Go?

How to reach Dr. Portia Jackson Preston: portiapreston.com  @drportiapreston
Empowered to Exhale: www.empoweredtoexhale.com [email protected]

Purchase Hustle, Flow, or Let it Go : A Guide to Shame-Free Wellness That Honors Your Reality and Gives You Life

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

Today I sit down with Crystal Flores to trace the line from her father's suicide to her early marriage that led to depression and codependency. Crystal broke free from her picture-perfect, yet miserable marriage, to carve out a new life built on values, clarity, and fiercely practical money care. The reset wasn’t flashy. She moved to a quaint country home, complete with a flock of chickens, and chased non-negotiables like connection, thrift, resourcefulness, creativity, and environmental stewardship, 

Crystal defines wealth as more than dollars—emotional, physical, and financial systems working together so you can live your best life. She shares why “enough” must be personal before culture sells you “more,” and how a simple three-wheel model—earn, spend, save—reveals where your ride is wobbling. We keep it tangible: tracking spending as an act of self-compassion, quarterly balance sheets to reduce fear, and friction tactics for impulse buying--particularly important for the bipolar brain.

You’ll walk away from this episode with tools that put money back in its place: a resource that serves your life. Subscribe for more real, raw mental health conversations, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these stories and skills.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

For Bianca, the catalyst of her Borderline Personality Disorder was the cultural pressure of living in a Middle Eastern family that provided the basics in life, but no emotional connection or support. With eldest-daughter expectations, and the heavy silence that comes when a family outsources its pain to one child, Bianca became the out-of-control truth bearer in her family system.
After her tumultuous upbringing that included self-harm, suicidal thinking, and an abusive relationship, Bianca finally found mentors in her life that taught her how to break free from her trauma through intensive therapy. As a therapist, Bianca now brings practitioner-level clarity to the therapies that helped her, including dialectical behavior therapy and a move towards dignity, respect, and choice.
Is BPD destiny or environment? How do cultural narratives around “keeping up appearances” entrench shame? Why do personality disorders draw harsher judgment than mood disorders, and what happens when we reframe symptoms as human experiences with the dial turned up? For Bianca, identity instability isn’t a life sentence; it’s a signal that can be understood, soothed, and redesigned. 
If this conversation helps you rethink stigma, see yourself with more softness, or pick up one new skill to use when the storm hits, pass it on. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs proof that intensity can become intention. Your story might be the mirror someone else is missing.

For more on Bianca, please visit:

https://evolveventurestech.com/evolve-ventures-coaching/therapy-2/

https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithbianca/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/evolveventuressociety

https://www.youtube.com/@EvolvewithBianca/videos

https://www.tiktok.com/@evolvewithbianca

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

Picking up from Part 1, Gregg is now stuck in what he calls “two years of bipolar hell.” But when he is finally prescribed lithium, within a week his depression lifts. Coming out of depression, he still had work to do—repairing familial and professional relationships. 

Greg had also been angry with God for abandoning him and forcing him to live in misery. Lithium not only put Gregg’s depression at bay, but it also allowed him to repair his relationship with God. As treatment begins working, his faith gradually returned, becoming instrumental to his recovery strategy. 

Most inspiring is how Gregg transformed his diagnosis into purpose. After losing his military identity, he discovered a new mission in mental health advocacy – work he now considers more important than his distinguished military career. His recovery philosophy centers on medication management, therapy, healthy lifestyle choices, and maintaining an "attitude of gratitude" even during difficult periods. And Gregg makes a stunning admission: if given the choice between never having bipolar disorder or his current life as an advocate, he would choose the latter.
 
 Share an episode of Bipolar She during Suicide Prevention Month to help normalize these crucial conversations about mental health. Together, we can reduce stigma and potentially save lives.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

Major General Gregg F. Martin had, for the most part of his life, lived with hyperthymia, a continuous low-level mania that ultimately helped his military performance because he was energetic, creative, and driven. But after commanding a 10,000-soldier combat brigade in Iraq, Gregg’s descent into mania and depression would span a decade.

With a late diagnosis at age 58, Gregg challenges our understanding of bipolar disorder, revealing his belief that mental illness can progress along a spectrum rather than appearing suddenly. For Gregg, the Iraq War became the tipping point, transforming his beneficial hyperthymic traits into dangerous mania, and ultimately life-threatening depression. As his condition worsened, colleagues reported his erratic behavior, leading to forced retirement and   removal as president of the National Defense University.

The most haunting aspects of Gregg's story involve his descent into psychosis and passive suicidal ideation –  such as experiencing fear from an "invisible force" that could take hold of him and thrust him into oncoming traffic.  His journey from battlefield commander to psychiatric patient illuminates the complex relationship between trauma, high-stress environments, and mental health. Now an author and advocate, Gregg's experiences offer profound insights for anyone struggling with mental illness or supporting someone who is. 

This episode contains detailed discussions of suicide and suicidal ideation.

Gregg's book:

Bipolar General: My Forever War with Mental Illness (Association of the United States Army)

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

The first time I lost my mind was at Dartmouth College. By my junior year I was walking through campus with psychosis. A movie camera followed me wherever I went. I imagined myself dying in beautiful and surreal ways. And ultimately I wanted my life to end.

In this episode with fellow writer, JD, I share my first experiences with bipolar disorder. When I welcome guests on the show, I want them to know I've had hard times as well.

Memory is imperfect. Old delusions and imagination swirl together. You may notice a swift change in seasons, when my memory of a summer hospitalization is told as if it were a freezing winter day. Because that’s what memory can do...combine feelings and images in a way that captures an experience, even if imprecise.

Join me and write your difficult memories down. Let stories emerge. Contact me to tell your stories. We need fearless voices to fight stigma and shame. Is it too much to demand new treatments and cures? Let's get there one story at a time.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

In the original episode "Raw My Doctor Violated Me," Madelynn revealed how her psychiatrist of three years gradually started to make sexual advances. Her marriage was falling apart and she was vulnerable. How could this doctor who had provided counsel and care become inappropriate?

With humor and even wondering if his words and physical contact were some form of cutting edge therapy, her confusion and shame ran deep. Wanting to find solace with a physician after her dad died, she pushed the abuse she was suffering out of her mind. With time and therapy, she learned that this was not her fault and that psychiatric professionals have boundaries to hold. 

In this follow-up episode, I have another conversation with Madelynn. We didn't know she was going to share this story in the first episode, so I wanted to check in with her and see how it felt to hear her voice while talking about trauma. And Madelynn is tough--she learned how she was using humor during the podcast and having incomplete thoughts. And her storytelling--when it comes to trauma--is right on. We revisit ideas and learn about changes within Madelynn, in nonlinear story, which is how we work through trauma. And in this episode Madelynn finds her footing, accepting she was a victim and that this abuse should never have happened to her.

This story is ideal for anyone starting to voice their story of trauma. Or for friends and relatives that can make a space to safely talk about hard stories. We feel better and are enlightened when we repeatedly examine our trauma. Victimhood can be converted into ownership of an extremely hard time. Thank you, Madelynn, for being a rockstar and helping others learn we have to speak up.

Part 1: RAW My Doctor Violated Me on Apple Podcasts

Part 1: RAW My Doctor Violated Me on Spotify

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

When I rescued a dog, I never imagined the impact she would have on my mental health. Sure, her presence and warmth was calming and healing, but my dog Amber taught me a crucial lesson about how to handle my bipolar disorder.

Happy to have a rescue dog in my life, things went downhill when a doctor put me on an antidepressant (which is a risky medication move if you have bipolar illness). And for me, it sent me into mania and then psychosis. In order to get care, I had to leave Amber home alone. And while trapped in a psych hospital, I had no way to get any care for her. As the clocked ticked by, my dog was home alone. She finally did get care, but when I returned, she showed signs of distress and this made me feel awful. She taught me that my illness impacts those around us--especially loved ones.

In this mini-remix I talk to JD about how this experience changed my life and has helped me prevent hospitalizations. Sometimes our greatest teachers have fur and four legs.

 Recorded & Edited at ModernTone Studios.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping

What happens when bipolar disorder collides with unexpected pregnancy? For Betsi it was a frightening time knowing a bipolar episode can be triggered by pregnancy and that bipolar illness has a genetic component that may be passed down to your child.

And Betsi had already endured several hospitalizations in her early adulthood. She also was under the care of a doctor who misdiagnosed her and took her off all psychiatric medications, only to result in an episode that could have been prevented. After finding stability with the right psychiatrist and medication, she and her husband had made peace with not having children. But when she unexpectedly became pregnant after nine years of marriage, Betsi soon found herself in the psychiatric ward, experiencing a break from reality while carrying her child.
 
The recovery process during pregnancy and her daughter's first year was exhausting, but Betsi discovered unexpected reservoirs of strength. Her small-town Ohio community, supportive husband, and Mennonite church provided crucial stability. Most powerfully, she reveals how confronting her own childhood trauma, growing up with an alcoholic father, has been essential to her healing journey – and her determination to break that cycle for her daughter.
 
Now stable for thirteen years, Betsi's story challenges simplistic notions about bipolar disorder being purely biological, highlighting how childhood environments can influence brain chemistry and mental health outcomes. Her journey offers hope that with proper treatment, support, and courage to face the past, living well with bipolar disorder – even through unexpected challenges – is absolutely possible.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping