How to Support Someone with Bipolar Disorder (Part 1)

In this deeply honest and compassionate episode of This Is Bipolar, Shaley Hoogendoorn and Julie Kraft tackle one of the most requested topics from listeners: how to support someone living with bipolar disorder or another mental illness.

Speaking from lived experience, they open up about the realities of being on both sides of the relationship — loving someone with bipolar disorder and living with it yourself. Together, they discuss the guilt, shame, loneliness, boundaries, communication struggles, reassurance, emotional regulation, and difficult decisions that can come with supporting a loved one through mental health challenges.

The conversation explores:

Most importantly, this episode reminds listeners that bipolar disorder is treatable, relationships can survive and thrive, and both the person living with the illness and the people loving them deserve compassion and support.

This is an emotional but incredibly important conversation for anyone navigating mental illness within relationships, friendships, or family dynamics.

This is bipolar...

Connect with Shaley Hoogendoorn

Website: www.thisisbipolar.com

Shaley Hoogendoorn is a Canadian mental health advocate, elementary school teacher, event planner, wife, and mama living with Bipolar II Disorder. She is the host of the podcast This Is Bipolar, where she shares honest conversations and lived experiences to help reduce stigma and remind others that they are not alone. Through storytelling, advocacy, and community-building, Shaley is passionate about creating safe spaces for people navigating bipolar disorder and mental health challenges.

About Julie Kraft

#thisisbipolar #thisisbipolarvlog #thisisbipolarpodcast #mentalhealthpodcast #bipolarpodcast #mentalhealthpodcast

In this deeply honest and powerful conversation, Shaley sits down with mental health advocate, author, and peer mentor Mel to share her lived experience with bipolar disorder.

Mel opens up about her early struggles, being misdiagnosed, and what it was like to experience severe depression, mania, and psychosis. She shares the reality of a nine-month depressive psychotic episode, the impact of medication, and the complexity of navigating bipolar disorder alongside physical illness, trauma, and motherhood.

This episode also explores topics that are often misunderstood or left unspoken — including hypersexuality, eating disorders, stigma within families, and the challenges of accepting a lifelong diagnosis.

Mel’s story is raw, real, and ultimately hopeful — a reminder that stability, purpose, and connection are possible.

In this episode, we talk about:

(00:32:15) SSRI-triggered depressive psychosis begins

About Mel:

Melissa Pang Howard is the author of the memoir Mental(ish) A Memior of Insanity and the Search for Stability. A blogger for the International Bipolar Foundation and a frequent panelist for the Reddit Bipolar AMA, she focuses on navigating Bipolar 1, c-PTSD, and the path from surviving to thriving. Through her writing and advocacy, Melissa explores the intersections of trauma, identity, and resilience to support others on their journey toward stability.

Purchase Mel's Memoir here:

Mental(ish): A Memoir of Insanity and the Search for Stability

Connect with Mel:

Connect with Shaley:

www.thisisbipolar.com

Do you have a Bipolar Peer Support Group?

Shaley private Instagram subscriber group is a safe, supportive space for people living with bipolar disorder.

It’s a place to be seen, heard, and understood — where you can share openly, connect with others who truly get it, and find support on both the hard days and the good ones. Members also have access to monthly Zoom meetups for deeper connection and conversation.

How to join:

What if the story of bipolar disorder was told not just through textbooks—but through real people, real lives, and real hope?

In this deeply moving and insightful episode, Shaley sits down with author Sarah Schley and filmmaker Bonnie Weltch to talk about Brainstorm, a powerful new documentary that brings together lived experience and cutting-edge science to reshape how we understand bipolar disorder.

Sarah shares her personal journey—what it was like to live for 25 years without the correct diagnosis of bipolar II, the toll that took, and what finally changed. She opens up about turning decades of pain, confusion, and stigma into her memoir, and ultimately into a film designed to reach people all over the world.

Bonnie takes us behind the scenes of creating a documentary from the ground up—what it takes to commit years to one story, how they found and chose the individuals featured in the film, and why it was so important to weave together both human stories and scientific research. The result is a film that doesn’t just inform—it connects, validates, and inspires.

Together, they explore the realities of bipolar II, including why it’s so often misunderstood or misdiagnosed, and why it is not a “lesser” form of bipolar disorder. They also dive into fascinating, evidence-based science featured in the film—from genetics and brain function to circadian rhythms—and how this research can actually translate into practical, everyday strategies for staying well.

This conversation also highlights something many people living with bipolar struggle with: the ongoing nature of the illness. Even when things look “together” on the outside, there is often continuous effort behind the scenes—protecting sleep, maintaining routines, advocating for needs, and staying aware of early warning signs. Sarah and Shaley speak candidly about what it really takes to live well, and why self-advocacy is not selfish—it’s essential.

Most importantly, this episode is filled with hope. Through storytelling, community, and science, it reminds us that while bipolar disorder is complex and lifelong, it is also manageable—and a full, meaningful life is possible.

Whether you live with bipolar, love someone who does, or simply want to better understand it, this episode will leave you feeling more informed, more connected, and less alone.

YOU can watch Brainstorm on World Bipolar Day 🌍

Get your ticket here (there is a sliding scale to make is accessible to all)

Brainstorm World Bipolar Day Screening

Chapter Markers:

(00:06:12) Meet the Voices Behind Brainstorm

(00:11:48) 25 Years to Diagnosis: The Reality of Bipolar II

(00:18:55) From Book to Film: Taking the Story Worldwide

(00:26:40) Blending Science + Lived Experience

(00:34:22) The Science That Changes Everything

(00:44:05) Living Well with Bipolar: Boundaries, Routine & Hope

Bonnie Waltch is the director, producer, and writer of BrainStorm, a feature-length documentary film about the bipolar spectrum. She is the award-winning senior producer and writer of the one-hour PBS and international broadcast documentary, Earth Emergency, and series of five short films, Climate Emergency: Feedback Loops, narrated by Richard Gere. She has worked on a variety of science series for PBS and the Discovery Channel, and has produced, directed, and written short films for museums around the U.S. 

Sara Schley is the author of the memoir BrainStorm: From Broken to Blessed on the Bipolar Spectrum which inspired BrainStorm the documentary. Her mission in both the book and the film is to end stigma, save lives, and maximize healing. Sara is co-producer, co-writer, and one of six characters who live with bipolar in the film. Prior to becoming a full time bipolar health advocate, Sara worked as a business consultant, social change entrepreneur, speaker, and author and led systemic transformation at renowned companies around the world.

In this powerful World Bipolar Day episode, host Shaley is joined by mental health advocates Rudy and Tatyana to unpack the realities of hypomania and mania—often misunderstood, sometimes romanticized, and deeply complex experiences within bipolar disorder. Through raw storytelling, they explore early warning signs, grandiosity, sleep disruption, sensory changes, and the fine line between productivity and danger. They also share vulnerable moments around diagnosis, paranoia, delusions, and the emotional aftermath of manic episodes. This conversation sheds light on why mania is often missed, how it differs from hypomania, and the importance of tracking symptoms, building support systems, and creating preventative care plans. Whether you live with bipolar disorder or support someone who does, this episode brings clarity, honesty, and hope.

Timestamps (Key Moments):

(00:00:00) Introduction & why mania/hypomania are often misunderstood

(00:05:30) Rudy’s first manic episode & recognizing the signs

(00:12:45) Grandiosity & feeling “like your true self” during mania

(00:20:10) Tatiana’s early warning signs & rapid speech

(00:26:40) Delusions, paranoia & losing touch with reality

(00:36:15) Sleep disruption, time loss & hyperfixation

(00:48:20) The crash: depression after mania & emotional impact

(01:05:50) Coping strategies, prevention & support systems

In this powerful and practical conversation, Shaley sits down with therapist and author Diana Partington to unpack what Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) actually is—and why it can be a game-changer for people living with bipolar disorder.

Diana shares her deeply personal story of living with suicidality for decades before discovering DBT, the therapy that finally gave her the “toolbox” she had been searching for. Together, Shaley and Diana explore how DBT differs from traditional CBT, why mindfulness doesn’t mean “emptying your mind,” and how skills like Wise Mind, emotional regulation, and the PLEASE skill can help stabilize mood, increase awareness, and create buffer zones before episodes escalate.

This episode is a relatable, stigma-breaking look at learning skills after years of thinking you already should know them—and how small, practical tools can make a life-saving difference.

Whether you’re newly diagnosed, supporting someone with bipolar disorder, or looking for concrete strategies that actually work in real life, this conversation brings hope, validation, and actionable insight.

(00:10:32) Why DBT felt different from every therapy Diana had tried before

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. If this episode or podcast means something to you, I would be forever grateful if you could give a five star review so it can reach people that need it. 

You can also share this conversation with someone who could use a few more tools in their toolbox—and remember: skills can be learned at any stage of the journey.

We have a peer support group on instagram  and you are invited to connect on IG: @this.is.bipolar

Want to connect or work with Shaley? email thisisbipolarpodcast@gmail.com  

Buy "DBT for Life" by Diana Partington here  

Register for Online Workshops 

More about Diana: 

Diana Partington is a licensed professional counselor and author of DBT for Life: Skills to transform the way you live. She offers online DBT skills classes, workshops, and training for clients and clinicians across North America. She wrote her master’s thesis at Vanderbilt on effectively teaching DBT skills for different learning styles. Passionate about making DBT skills accessible to everyone, Diana also speaks at major conferences and provides bespoke training for mental health professionals. Her website, DBTforLife.com (https://dbtforlife.com/talking-and-training/www.DBTforLife.com), is a hub of information about Dialectical Behavior Therapy, her educational offerings, 

In this heartfelt and hope-filled episode of This Is Bipolar, Shaley and Dr. Andrea Vassilev meet in real life for the very first time in Los Angeles and dive deep into one of the most meaningful (and complicated) topics when living with bipolar disorder: friendships.

Together, they explore how bipolar disorder can impact connection, consistency, communication, and trust — from ghosting during depression to intensity, oversharing, and irritability during hypomania or mania. They talk openly about shame, grief, self-stigma, and the fear of being “too much,” while also highlighting the incredible strengths people with bipolar bring to friendships: empathy, loyalty, creativity, and deep emotional insight.

This episode also offers practical guidance for:

Navigating disclosure with friends

Asking for what you actually need during different mood states

Supporting loved ones with bipolar (and letting them support you)

Finding peer connection through bipolar communities and support groups

Above all, this conversation is a reminder that you are worthy of friendship, connection, and love — exactly as you are.

(00:03:40) — Meeting online, becoming real-life friends & why bipolar friendships matter

(00:08:55) — How depression affects consistency, ghosting, and friendships

(00:17:30) — Hypomania, intensity, irritability & how it can strain relationships

(00:25:45) — Grief, shame, oversharing & repairing friendships after episodes

(00:32:40) — Disclosure: how, when, and why telling friends can help

(00:44:50) — Reframing self-stigma & recognizing what makes you a great friend

Connect with us:

IG @this.is.bipolar

Youtube: this is bipolar channel

TT @this.is.bipolar

Be sure to sign up for my newsletter at thisisbipolar.com to get a free "Bipolar Travel Toolkit" PDF to help you prepare ahead and manage bipolar disorder while traveling. 

Chapter Markers:

(00:02:58) Andrea's Upcoming Book

(00:03:07) Andrea's Trip to Japan

(00:10:35) Medication Challenges

(00:14:20) Importance of Prevention

(00:16:26) Conference Experience

(00:21:11) Planning for Business Trips

(00:27:04) Post Travel Reflections

(00:28:17) Shaley's Camping Trip

(00:34:17) Balancing Expectations

(00:37:23) Memorable Moments

_________________________________________________________________

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. If this episode or podcast means something to you, I would be forever grateful if you would follow/subscribe the ‘this is bipolar’ podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts so you stay up to date. It would also mean the world to me if you gave a 5 ⭐️ star review- this helps the podcast reach those who need to hear it most. 

Much love, Shaley xo 

More about your Host:

Shaley Hoogendoorn is a speaker, content creator and currently hosts the popular “this is bipolar” vlog and podcast. She lives with bipolar 2 disorder and shares her story and the stories of others to dismantle the stigma around mental illness. Shaley’s greatest hope is that creating safe spaces to connect will give hope and comfort those that struggle.

Meet our Guest Co-Host:

Dr. Andrea Vassilev holds a doctorate in psychology, is a therapist in California, and has lived with bipolar disorder for over 25 years. Andrea is the creator of the program Overcoming Self-Stigma in Bipolar Disorder and serves on the Board of Directors of the International Society for Bipolar Disorders. As a clinician and academic with lived experience, Andrea brings a special perspective to both her professional and advocacy work. Andrea hopes that by telling her own story of life with bipolar disorder through the lenses of clinical causes, treatments, and outcomes that she can provide education, hope, and comfort to others. You can connect with her on Instagram @best.life.bipolar or at www.andreavassilev.com. Be sure to pre-order Dr. Andrea's book - releases July 1st 2026

Beyond the Bipolar Label: A Workbook to Overcome Self-Stigma, Break Free from Shame and Live Authentically

In this deeply honest episode of this Is bipolar, Shaley sits down with a guest Jess who shares her lived experience of being diagnosed with bipolar I after antidepressant-induced mania and psychosis in college — and what it took to rebuild a life of stability, work, love, and motherhood.

Together, they unpack what psychosis and mania actually feel like in the body, how symptoms can be rooted in reality, and why bipolar disorder is better understood as a spectrum rather than a box. The conversation moves through medication missteps, the fear of hospitalization, suicidal ideation, and the long road to finding the right psychiatrist and treatment.

They also dive deeply into parenthood with bipolar disorder — pregnancy decisions, staying on medication, sleep protection, guilt, support systems, and why putting your mental health first is putting your child first.

This episode is validating, nuanced, and full of moments that will resonate with anyone living with bipolar disorder — or loving someone who is.

this is bipolar...

Chapter markers:

(00:07:00) Childhood trauma & missed signs

(00:14:20) When psychosis first hit

(00:18:30) The phone call that saved her

(00:22:30) Living in constant cycling

(00:30:20) The meds that changed everything

(00:33:30) Inside bipolar psychosis

(00:48:30) Bipolar isn’t black & white

(01:06:00) Motherhood with bipolar

Connect with us:

IG @this.is.bipolar

Youtube: this is bipolar channel

TT @this.is.bipolar

Be sure to sign up for my newsletter at thisisbipolar.com 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. If this episode or podcast means something to you, I would be forever grateful if you would follow/subscribe the ‘this is bipolar’ podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts so you stay up to date. It would also mean the world to me if you gave a 5 ⭐️ star review- this helps the podcast reach those who need to hear it most. 

Much love, Shaley xo

MEET JESS:

Jess Curtis was diagnosed with bipolar 1 during her sophomore year of college. After a decade of ineffective treatment and poor self-care, she achieved stability by self-advocating for better medication and making healthy lifestyle changes. 

As a bipolar advocate, Jess strives to be the friend and mentor she needed when she was first diagnosed with bipolar.

On her YouTube channel Our Bipolar (https://youtube.com/@ourbipolar), she posts videos to break stigma, offer support, and promote better understanding of bipolar disorder.

She also shares her story with high school and college students as part of NAMI's In Our Own Voice program and has been a keynote speaker at mental health events.

You can find her on Facebook and Instagram at OurBipolar. Jess lives in Pittsburgh with her husband Bryan, daughter Pearson, and dog Lucy. She works for a nonprofit as assistant managing editor for scientific journals.

BEST OF 2025

Welcome back to 'This is Bipolar,' where Shaley Hoogendoorn, a passionate mental health advocate living with Bipolar 2 disorder, invites us into a heartfelt conversation about navigating change as we head into 2025. Alongside her friend and new co-host, Dr. Andrea Vasilev, a doctor of psychology also living with bipolar, they explore the complexities of the New Year's transition for those living with bipolar disorder.

Glammed up in sparkling New Year's dresses (which you can see on the Youtube version), the duo dives into the challenges and expectations that come with the start of a new year, offering hope and alternative perspectives on how to approach personal goals and resolutions. Their stories and practical insights help shed light on managing life's pressures, accepting one's bipolar journey, and finding solidarity in shared experiences.

With emphasis on connection, self-acceptance, and redefining success, Shaley and Andrea encourage listeners to embrace their unique path, sharing methods they've employed to cultivate resilience and joy. Join them in this engaging episode, which reminds us that our stories aren't over and that there is profound strength in our shared journey.

this is bipolar...

(02:36) Welcoming Guest Co-Host

(04:15) Embracing New Years Themes

(07:54) Navigating Holiday Stress

(12:59) Body memory & bipolar

(14:53) The pressure of self-improvement

(17:35) Goals vs Resolutions

(21:16) Celebrating Small Achievements 

(27:41) Accepting bipolar disorder

(32:30) The Journey to Self-Love 

(35:45) Redefining Success

(40:29) Finding Joy in Quirkiness

(44:40) Closing Thoughts on Acceptance

Follow IG @this.is.bipolar

Youtube: this is bipolar channel

TT @this.is.bipolar

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. If this episode or podcast means something to you, I would be forever grateful if you would follow/subscribe the ‘this is bipolar’ podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts so you stay up to date. It would also mean the world to me if you gave a 5 ⭐️ star review- this helps the podcast reach those who need to hear it most. 

If you are looking to connect with a caring bipolar community or a support group, you can subscribe on Instagram and be added to a peer support chat and have access to a peer support meeting every month. We would love to see you there.

Much love, Shaley xo 

About our guest cohost:

Dr. Andrea Vassilev holds a doctorate in psychology, is a therapist in California, and has lived with bipolar disorder for over 25 years. Andrea is the creator of the program Overcoming Self-Stigma in Bipolar Disorder and serves on the Board of Directors of the International Society for Bipolar Disorders. As a clinician and academic with lived experience, Andrea brings a special perspective to both her professional and advocacy work. Andrea hopes that by telling her own story of life with bipolar disorder through the lenses of clinical causes, treatments, and outcomes that she can provide education, hope, and comfort to others. You can connect with her on Instagram @best.life.bipolar or at www.andreavassilev.com. * to hear Andrea's full story scroll back to our 'Conversations with' episode or the 'Self stigma episode".

In this BEST of 2023 bonus episode, Coping with Christmas, mental health advocates Shaley Hoogendoorn and Charise Jewell revisit one of our most-loved holiday conversations about navigating the season while living with bipolar disorder.

Shaley and Charise share personal experiences, practical strategies, and honest reflections on what has helped them manage — and sometimes even enjoy — the holidays. From laugh-out-loud moments (yes, hypomanic stocking-stuffing made the cut) to deeply heartfelt stories, this episode offers real-life insight into the traditions that worked… and the ones that absolutely didn’t.

Charise was one of the very first guests on This Is Bipolar, so listeners are encouraged to check out her original “Conversations With” episode to hear her full story. Charise is honest, kind, and deeply resilient. Her openness about her diagnosis — both online and in her book Crazy; A Memoir of a Mom Gone Mad — continues to pave the way for all of us to bravely share our own journeys.

CHAPTER MARKERS: 

• Make a list of the things you actually want to do so you don’t overbook yourself with obligations driven by “everyone else.”

• Know your capacity — and plan your holiday activities within it.

• Identify your triggers ahead of time. Note what worked and what didn’t in past years, and create a plan for situations that may arise at mandatory family gatherings. Be sure to listen for how Shaley navigates conversations around race, gender, and politics — having a prepared phrase can help diffuse tense moments.

• Find a place of refuge when you need a break — even if your only options are the bathroom or your car.

• Drive your own vehicle or arrange your own transportation so you can step out, take a breather, or leave if things become overwhelming.

• Schedule time for small moments of joy — even the little things count.

• Be honest. You don’t have to pretend to be holly-jolly if you’re not. Often, honesty opens the door to deeper connection — chances are, others feel the same way.

• Have safe people you can check in with who remind you how loved you are. If that feels hard, connecting with others online who live with mental illness can be incredibly validating. You’re always welcome to message Charise or me on Instagram — we’re happy to listen or offer encouragement.

…and so much more.

This is Bipolar.

To my listeners — thank you for being here. If this episode or this podcast means something to you, I would be so grateful if you’d favourite this account and follow/subscribe to the This Is Bipolar podcast wherever you listen, so you never miss an episode. Leaving a 5-⭐️ review also helps this podcast reach those who need it most.

If you’d like deeper conversations and more access to my guests and community, head over to @this.is.bipolar on Instagram and become a subscriber. There are so many extras that come along with it. Thank you for supporting me and this podcast 🤍

A voracious reader and aspiring writer since childhood, Charise Jewell was born in Germiston, South Africa, and immigrated to Canada at age seven. She holds an Honours B.Eng. in Mechanical Engineering from McGill University and spent fifteen years working as a robotics engineer before becoming a writer.

Charise proudly lives with bipolar I disorder and advocates for the fair and dignified treatment of people living with mental illness. She lives in Toronto with her husband and three children.

🔗 Learn more at AND purchase her books at www.charisejewell.com

In this episode of 'this is bipolar', Shaley and Andrea unpack the unique challenges of traveling and navigating the holiday season living with bipolar disorder.

They explore common triggers—from disrupted routines and sensory overwhelm to family dynamics, cultural expectations, and financial pressure—while offering practical strategies for staying regulated on the road and during gatherings. With honest personal stories and compassionate insight, they share realistic tools for setting boundaries, protecting sleep, planning ahead, and recovering when things don’t go as expected.

This conversation is here to support you through any holiday—Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali, Lunar New Year, Ramadan, or any season that brings both joy and extra emotional weight.

(00:00:00) – Travel + Holidays: A Bipolar Pressure-Cooker

(00:03:45) – Identifying Your Holiday Triggers

07:10 – The Time-Pressure + Perfectionism Spiral

(00:11:30) – Travel Routines That Keep You Regulated

(00:16:20) – Sensory Overwhelm & Social Burnout

(00:20:40) – Boundary Scripts That Actually Work

(00:24:55) – Spending + Gifting Triggers

(00:28:10) – Food, Alcohol, and Cultural Holiday Norms

(00:31:40) – Using Your Support System Before You Need It

(00:34:20) – When a Holiday Trip Goes Sideways

(00:)37:50 – Personal Stories

Connect with us:

IG @this.is.bipolar

Youtube: this is bipolar channel

TT @this.is.bipolar

Be sure to sign up for my newsletter at thisisbipolar.com to get a free "Bipolar Travel Toolkit" PDF to help you prepare ahead and manage bipolar disorder while traveling. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. If this episode or podcast means something to you, I would be forever grateful if you would follow/subscribe the ‘this is bipolar’ podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts so you stay up to date. It would also mean the world to me if you gave a 5 ⭐️ star review- this helps the podcast reach those who need to hear it most. 

Much love, Shaley xo 

More about your Host:

Shaley Hoogendoorn is a speaker, content creator and currently hosts the popular “this is bipolar” vlog and podcast. She lives with bipolar 2 disorder and shares her story and the stories of others to dismantle the stigma around mental illness.

Shaley is passionate about educating and empowering others about bipolar disorder. She has contributed to publications for Sanctuary Ministries, Psych Central and BP Hope magazine. She hosted a series interviewing women living with mental illnesses at SheLoves Magazine in a series named "Sisters in Mental Illness." 

Shaley’s greatest hope is that creating safe spaces to connect will give hope and comfort those that struggle.

Meet our Guest Co-Host:

Dr. Andrea Vassilev holds a doctorate in psychology, is a therapist in California, and has lived with bipolar disorder for over 25 years. Andrea is the creator of the program Overcoming Self-Stigma in Bipolar Disorder and serves on the Board of Directors of the International Society for Bipolar Disorders. As a clinician and academic with lived experience, Andrea brings a special perspective to both her professional and advocacy work. Andrea hopes that by telling her own story of life with bipolar disorder through the lenses of clinical causes, treatments, and outcomes that she can provide education, hope, and comfort to others. You can connect with her on Instagram @best.life.bipolar or at www.andreavassilev.com. Be sure to pre-order Dr. Andrea's book - releases July 1st 2026

Beyond the Bipolar Label: A Workbook to Overcome Self-Stigma, Break Free from Shame and Live Authentically