Destination: Passport with Keith Berd and Damon Product

High school health and P.E. teacher Mary Lou Fleischhacker (Hannah Aslesen) is a big risk-taker who has never left her home state of Minnesota. Keith and Damon talk to her about her two friends, her masturbation habits, and her fledgling entertainment career as they try to determine the right vacation for her. She may have made some questionable investments in the past, but this one is sure to pay dividends. After all, what's more profitable than having the time of your life??

Unlike many clients at Berd Product Travel Agency, Rae Ducet-Funk (Dan White) does NOT want to get away from his stepson. In fact, he wants to get away WITH his stepson! Rae's been dealing with a contentious divorce, the fallout from his controversial cameo in Avengers: Endgame, and a terrifying pasta dinner, when all he really wants to do is get to know Neal. Keith and Damon have the perfect solution: a vacation! 

Repeatedly failed business owner Sandra Tartarsauce (Maggie Winters) just dumped her boyfriend. Plus, everyone in her town hates her. PLUS, she can't even get a glass of Chardonnay because of her big rolling incident at the town bar! Sounds like she might want to... get away? Certainly everyone in her town would like her to do that! Let's see if Keith and Damon have what it takes to give this poor reviled woman the vacation of her dreams. Or rather, let's HEAR!

Omaha resident Casey Gallagher (Colleen Murphy) has never traveled anywhere - not even other parts of Omaha. Is there a perfectly innocent explanation for this? No! Keith and Damon must dig deeper into Casey's increasingly disturbing life in order to find the perfect vacation to help her get away— ideally forever!

Professional assassin Douglas Michael Stewart (Chris Longfield-Smth) wants to be there for his lovely wife and wonderful son, but work obligations keep him from being the best husband and father he can be. He's been all over the world, but always for business, never for pleasure. Could a vacation provide the pause he needs to recharge and possibly pivot to a new career? Keith and Damon hope to put "a bullet" (fun) in his "head" (life) with a "big gun" (trip of a lifetime)!!!

Small business owner and professional internet bully Kevin Funt (Jason Wenger) is stressed about work. Specifically, he's worried that some of the tweens he's bullied for work are going to find him and beat him up. Sounds like someone who needs to get away! Keith and Damon talk to Kevin about the bullying biz, read some confusing samples of his work, and learn about his exercise routine, all in the pursuit of giving him the TIME of his LIFE!

High school sophomore Noah Baumbach (Jared McBain) tells Keith and Damon all about a day in the life at his interesting school. When he's not busy learning that bugs are made of cells, he's trying to make it onto the varsity baseball team and achieve the coveted double. Noah seeks a bro-trip with his BFF Romeo in order to bring the two closer after Romeo abandoned him by choosing archery over art class. Now taking bets on whether Keith and Damon successfully help him by planning a perfect vacation!

Heir to the Kohl's management throne Brittany "Hank" Hanatooni (Katie Falcongrove) just had her heart broken by Steven Penney of the JC Penney fortune, and her stepcousin Gary is scheming to usurp her. Her life is like a freaking Shakespeare play or something! Will Keith and Damon help her find herself by getting away, in terms of travel? Probably!

Keith and Damon welcome sandwich innovator and Delaware native Rick Carpet-Drapes (Connor Schuck) to Berd Product Travel Agency. Rick lives in a state that's too small to fit entire words on signs and has a stepson with Oedipal intentions. Can our heroes (Keith and Damon) help this dumbass/artistic genius get away and go on the vacation of his dreams? Again, you simply must listen to the episode to find out.