My journey over the last 9 years has led me to a place that has completely transformed my experience of grief and how I want to live the rest of my life. Grief is an emotion, grieving is an action, an active process. We need to do both after we experience a loss, but today I want to talk about allowing ourselves to feel the grief and still move beyond the active “all in” grieving process.

There is a time when it’s ok to do so, and when we do, when we make that conscious decision, we can begin to look at what kind of life we can live going forward. We can look at what our legacy will be. For many people, myself included, allowing the emotion of grief actually becomes a healthy and honoring emotion, once we let go of the active grieving process. The kind of grieving that keeps us in a devastated state, often for years as was the case for me.

And I assure you, letting go of the active grieving process is not the same as “getting over” our loss. We don’t “get over it”, we simply learn to move forward and how to be ok with living. I see so many people stop living. I did too, so I understand it. But, I also understand moving beyond the devastation to the creation. Death does not end our relationship.