Stop! You must be this smart to read this article! Seriously, dude, put down the wireless trackball and back away from the computer. RIGHT NOW. Because this article is too hardcore for you. Yeah, yeah, you’ve read the previous Top Ten Hardcore Security Feature lists (12, 12.1, 13), and you think you’re clever, but just stahp. You’re not ready for this one. You are strongly advised to stand down and read the standard version 14.0 release notes instead, like normal people, because this Top Ten Hardcore list for version 14.0 makes all the previous Top Ten lists look like corporate marketing fluff written by a tribble! What?!? You’re going to continue reading? Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I bet you won’t even get past the first two features before you scroll to the end looking for a bad joke. Number 10 [ ASM ] – Name Your Own WAF Cookies In days of yore, just after Al Gore invented the Internet, F5 bought a little application security product called “TrafficShield.” That’s a super cool name for a web application firewall, but eventually the F5 marketing drones standardized on “ASM.” The spirit of TrafficShield lived on in the ASM cookies, which were always named TSCookie. So one could, in theory, fingerprint an F5 web application firewall by looking for the TSCookie. Not that anyone ever did that. Version 14 lets you create your own cookie naming patterns for the ASM cookie and the Device ID cookie. If you’re worried about fingerprinting, make up your own names (I’m going with NOTanF5Cookie). This feature can also help you conform to in-house cookie conventions. The maximum cookie size is also increased from 8 KB to 16 KB to accommodate user applications which block 8 KB cookies. I know, you’re thinking, who on God’s green earth uses 9K cookies? It’s called cookie bloat and it’s a thing because people are jamming entire web objects into cookies these days. Who designed this internet anyway? Certainly not Spock. Number 9 [FPS] – Single Page Application Support Guys, I have seen the future. The future is the Single Page Application (SPA). Many of the most popular webpages are SPA now, like Twitter, Facebook, and Gmail. In theory, SPA allows the application developers to focus on UX and not on URL management. But SPA relies heavily on duplex technologies like isomorphic React, Websockets and AJAX. That’s the future. Or the present or whatever. In a Single Page Application, a URL can have multiple views (layouts/content sets), where views change without a full page reload. As you can imagine, the normal tricks that our Fraud Protection Service (FPS) code uses to protect the application need to change. Starting with version 14.0, you can direct the FPS to treat an application as SPA. The DataSafe component of ASM now also supports SPA. SPA views in FPS can be configured in version with Malware Detection, Automatic Transactions Detection, and Application Level Encryption; and an SPA view can be configured as a login page. You can apply application layer integrity to the whole payload between the client and server with minimal performance loss. With application layer encryption, FPS will have to encrypt the whole payload (instead of just fields), but it stills manages to extract the username for enriching the alerts! Obviously you can’t enable Integrity and Encryption at the same time, because encryption already includes integrity, duh! Even McCoy knows that! Did those first two features seem hardcore to you? Well, you’re only half wrong! Those were the teasers. This list is just starting to get hardcore! We showed the next three features to Commander Spock, and his brain exploded. Speaking of… Here’s a hilarious musical tribute to Spock’s Brain on Spockify. I’ve listened to it like five