DHARMA SPRING

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A little while back there was a request that I talk about acceptance and activism, the requester speaking from the common position that the two are in opposition to each other. This is because of the connotation that acceptance means something is okay, alright, copacetic just as it is. However, taking it on a basic level, acceptance simply means allowing that something is, that things are the way they are at present and they are here, no qualifiers of "good," "bad," or anything else added in. This allowing is a way of freeing up one's energy from struggling against, denying, or even justifying and fortifying the reality of the existence of something, allowing space for it to be more fully and clearly what it is. And this is a crucial first step in activism: it allows one to more fully see and acknowledge what is, to more clearly notice how its being affects the being of other things, and then to respond more fully, directly and in appropriate measure. In other words, it's about meeting, engaging, challenging and transforming the things we encounter within and around us, as we continually co-create, nourish, and endeavor to maintain a healthy and vibrant ecology of existence throughout the vast landscape of the ten thousand things.

So, acceptance and activism? Yes, please!

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"A sage steers by the bright light of confusion and doubt." - Zhuangzi

Ah, how good to hear this, given the abundance of confusion and doubt these days. And yet, the abundance of confusion and doubt is not because the world has fundamentally changed, but because the usually reliable and dependable ways of perceiving, organizing and understanding our world are being challenged, losing their relevance, falling apart, revealing more fully the ever present, chaotic nature of reality itself. These templates we develop and stories we perpetuate are helpful to have as we navigate through life, but the more we solidify, fortify and insist upon their validity, the more removed we become from the reality we're navigating, so much so that when we meet this reality more directly, we call it chaos and are filled with confusion and doubt. Fortunately, as Zhuangzi mentions above, this very chaos, confusion and doubt itself provides the light by which we can steer and make our way through, and supports us in bending ever more and more toward reality as we journey along.

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In this time of COVID and quarantine and shutdown, with what we took to be normal being turned on its head and flipped inside out and all about, the heightened quality and experience of existence in this in-between bardo realm is alive and present for many. A common feature seem to be seemingly insignificant people and events from the past showing up in people's dreams - not necessarily with anything of import to offer or reveal, simply showing up, as if some portals from other times and realms have been opened as a result of all that is happening. This certainly adds to the dreamlike quality of life itself these days, the boundaries and edges of the frameworks that used to hold us up and provide steady orientation softening, blurring, fading away, leading us to drift and amble along in this dreamland bardo of our world. And there's no need - and no point, really - in trying to make sense of it all, pin it down and figure it out. Instead, we can settle, lean in, and listen, listen...

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Strangely wondrous and wondrously strange times we’re living in. An in-between bardo quality and nature to it all – which is fundamentally how it is at all times, but these days it’s all so utterly vivid, palpable, in our faces and our doing and our beings. The mixing and blending of so many things: sorrows and joys, clarity and confusion, loss and renewal, grief and hope, old wounds never healed and the growth of new life sparking. Trying to sort through it all, to choose one thing over another and land anywhere in particular seems a fruitless endeavor. And that's because, truly, it is. Fortunately, that not the invitation, that’s not the task being asked of us, that's not the way through. The invitation is to meet it as it is, as it comes, each thing, all things, whether they arrive individually on their own terms or show up mixed together as they dance along together or appear as one enormous, uninterpretable, confounding lump. Let us acknowledge it all, meet it all, and enter with it all, here. 

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In this episode, we explore the territory of this perennial conundrum: since the teachings say again and again that you are inherently a buddha, awakened, and that you just as you are is it, then why is it necessary to engage in practice? A short, to-the-point response: it is effective, and it helps. And yet, a bit of a non-explanation and catch-22 of sorts: in order to understand why it is necessary to practice, and to discover for yourself how it is effective and helpful, you must practice. And it is indeed paradoxical: engaging in practice that may seem somewhat foreign compared to what you're used to, breaking up your usual routines and habits, developing a structure and discipline as a means of replacing naturally-developed ways of beings with different ways of being that don't come so naturally, all in the service of getting more directly and intimately in touch with your authentic, genuine being - the being that has been there all along, from the beginning, regardless. So yeah, strange and mysterious and wondrous for sure. And worth looking into, investigating, and discovering for yourself. So please, dive on in!

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A practice journey is often fueled by attempting to reach or attain a certain something, an “it” that we’ve heard described by others and/or imagined for ourselves. At the same time, again and again the teachings say you already have it, you are inherently it, and there is actually nothing to attain. These can be equally frustrating and confusing. The idea that there is something to attain serves as a motivation for practice, yet that very idea can be a significant obstacle to realizing we already have it. Likewise, it can be reassuring and encouraging to hear again and again that we already have and are all that is needed – but if so, why is it so difficult to feel this, know this, see this for ourselves? Perhaps the way through this is a sideways move, stepping out of the dichotomy of having and not having, releasing the ideas of what it is, how it looks, and what it will be like/is like when we realize we have it, wandering along more freely and openly, no need for measuring and gauging and comparing and judging, simply noticing this, this, this as we make our way along in the dark, unimpeded by the light of all those knowings.

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This week our meditation group has been hanging out with poems, koans and stories, the result of a delightfully unexpected journey that kept unfolding on its own, one thing naturally leading to and connecting with another, and another, and another. And there's more to come - specifically, a dharma talk that has been inspired by all of this and is still brewing, which will be offered in the coming days and posted as the next episode. For now, you are invited to join in our journeying by listening to the poems and stories here, in your meditation. And please be sure to check back next week for Part 2, as the journeying continues.

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Uncertainty abounds. And despite how much effort we and others put forth getting hold of things, and no matter how sound and reasonable and convincing the arguments supporting such are, the mark will continually be missed. For one, it's impossible to see and know the totality of things - there are too many facets, too many variables, too many happenings to take in completely. Additionally, things are always changing, so even if we do get a fairly good grasp on them, in due time our understanding becomes outdated and slips away. It's frustrating and unsettling, and in the face of this we can find ourselves doubling down on our certainties and solidifying our arguments further. This may help soothe us for a time, but in the end is more harmful than helpful. What if instead, when faced with uncertainty, we acknowledge and partner with it, welcome it as our constant companion? It seems a more realistic and even practical approach, given that "the way things are is mysterious and hard to see," as the Zen ancestor Bodhidharma says. And strangely enough, we might find this leads to a deeper sense of knowing and connection with the way things are, joining with the mystery at the heart of things rather than trying to solve it.

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Life sometimes - perhaps more often than we'd care for - brings us to moments and circumstances in which the things we regularly rely upon are gone, and we're completely in the dark. Holding onto or reaching for our usual ways of navigating through might help some, but, because we're in a place we've not known before, mostly they fall short, leaving us lost, uncertain, and frustrated. Perhaps what's called for in such times is meeting the unknown with the unknown, releasing whatever we're holding onto so that we can more fully settle into where we are, and as a result more fully meet what has come to meet us. What becomes possible then? What opportunities open? 

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Sometimes koans present us with images and descriptions that are strange and mysterious while at the same time seeming familiar and personal. Keeping company with and exploring these resonances, we can find many facets touching into and speaking to our lives and experiences, unlocking and releasing a deep wisdom and freedom that has always been.  As we kept company with the koan below, one person found a troubling tangle from her day suddenly gone, resolved, and a sense of ease opening up; another found a long-forgotten memory from childhood arising, reconnecting him with an inherent sense of sufficiency and abundance; and someone else noticed how she seems to be continually buoyed along somehow, with all that she needs always readily at hand, available and accessible whenever reached for.

So meet the koan for yourself, let the episode here nourish and encourage you as you journey along together, and see what you discover being unlocked, opened, and freed.

In a well no one dug
water ripples from a spring that doesn't flow.
Someone with no shadow or form
is drawing the water.

-Ikkyu  

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