Diary of a Mad Black Man

The PODFather is BACK!

I never really went anywhere but this is the trailer for the new season! Season 10!

I recorded this episode 3 days after my birthday. I had been recording daily diary entries of me just unpacking my thoughts and this is one of the earlier entries. In this diary entry, I recognize a friend & our friendship no longer existed in the capacity it once did. I grieved the loss of a really good friend, someone I trusted, loved, confided in, and found real friendship with. 

I will always respect when someone is honest and truthful with you; yet the loss of a friendship hurts like death, because it is. the death of a friendship. And as they say... truth hurts.

What I've learned here is you want to always check in with someone before you emotionally dump or unpack your thoughts with somone. Even if said person has expressed they are open to being a listening ear, you should ALWAYS ask for permission. Some example phrases are: 

"do you have the emotional space to hear this?"

"can I share something with you that may be triggering?

"do you have the mental bandwith for me to share something with you?"

"you feel like hearing this bullshit?"

"can i tell you what I've been going through for real? you cool with me unpacking this with you?

Asking for permission is simultaneously protecting you and the other person's mental health. Creating a safe space for unpacking whatever you may share is an important step in the healing process. It also giving the other person the opportunity to check in with themselves, to be sure they are best prepared to listen, hear you, & support you.

Thanks for listening...

Learn more: diaryofamadblackman.com

I took 3 months of FMLA from my job in Chicago. I spent this tine living with my podsister in Birmingham AL. This is one of the diary entries from this time.

This episode is me speaking directly to my sexuality. It has been a major challenge in my life and may men today struggle with being themselves in regards to their sexuality.

I am one of these men.

However, After a lot of therapy and healing, I am able to truly speak to my experiences navigating my sexuality and where I currently am. It has caused a lot of mental anguish navigating and unpacking because I still am challenged with navigating my lifestyle. At the same time, I am thankful that I live in my truth. One day someone will love me for me, embrace all aspects of me, and share some of this love I slready have for myself.

It is no ones responsibility to make me happy. I got this.

Yet I look forward to the day I find someone else who is just as happy with themselves as me and we can share memorable life moments together.

This episode is meant to showcase how much I have grown since starting this podcast. I am very grateful for the opportunities I have had over the years and its a blessing to still be alive today.

Inspiration and encouragement go a long way. And today I am proud that I can look back and simply say thank you to everyone who I met on this journey. There are some things I will NEVER say because I respect all women, especially black women. I get it now. Its all love.

-OG Legacy Slut AKA The PodFather

In todays climate, success is equated to what people can see. At this point in my life, im ok with not being seen.

This diary entry is a real raw unpacking of where I am in life and how the sophomore podalbum is going...

This episode was created in efforts to highlight the importance of creating a self space to express myself and pour into me. I used a tictok video from Dr. Raquel Martin, A Licensed clinical Psychologist, Professor and scientist. In this audio from the video, she breaks down why it is important to create safe spaces for black men to be validated, and express ourselves.

For the majority of my life, I have been a people pleaser. Now, I am a recovering people pleaser because I realize how I was created to be this way. It is essentially a form of violence.

Podcasting is my safe space, a form of anti-violence, that allows me to pour into myself, create and engage with community and like minded people. My goal is to continue to be an advocate for myself first and allow myself the space to exist, feel all the emotions and become better at managing life.

All aspects of life.

What is a friend to you? What are your expextations of friendship? As I am continuing my healing journey, I am learning the true worth and value of a good friend.

Over the last few years, many people I once considered to be a friend are no longer a friend. And I am simultaneously learning, that this is ok. It doesnt always mean that a friend becomes a foe, sometimes you simply grow apart.

This is part of an ongoing conversation around friendship and healing, for me at least. Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts on friendship.