We interrupt your listening experience with technical difficulties, our connection seemed to have crashed because of Serena and Ben. Expect better reception next week. Bye Ben.

What do you do when your sister is exiled from the upper East Side? Stand by your Dan

What do you do when you’re overcome by hate you have to have sex on every available surface? Stand by your Dan

What do you when your dresses are sabotaged? Stand by your Dan

What do you when you are Dan? Stand by your Dan or stalk Serena idk.

Gossip Girl Episodes Covered

4x6: Easy J

4x7: War at The Roses

4x8: Juliet Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

4x9: The Witches of Bushwick

4x10: Gaslit

Please get tested lovelies, if youre lucky you might even get daddy cox to yell at you while you do it, especially if you've indulged your fetishes with an octopus. It's not that deep, after all"

Gossip Girl here, whilst I enjoy sipping a champagne on the beach as I observe the scandals of Miami, the city is calling me home to roll my eyes at Serena and Blair’s antics, and who needs the ice truck killer when you’ve got Chuck Bass at home?

But rest easy dark passengers, I’ll be back, I always come back. XO XO Gossip Girl

You know what they say about divine intervention, if you let Jesus take the wheel you can out run the law.. just barely Dexter.

Dexter Episodes Covered:

- 1x5: Love American Style

- 1x6: Return To Sender

Spotted: Clueless, head band girl,Amy Santiago attempting to take down Queen B, doesn’t she know you if you play with fire you get your headband revoked?

Paging Dr Cox, we hear that Serena’s daddy is back in town and trying to steal your title of Dr Daddy, but don’t worry we ordered the firing squad to take out William once and for all. Remove your scrubs William, your liscence has been revoked - XOXO Tv Socialites

Let’s give our boy Dexter, a very suspicious looking plastic hand for not killing a beagle in the making of this episode. We give no flowers to Leshitter for turning on her humanity as if she is Stefan Salvatore. You don’t get points for cleaning up your own guilt, Maria.

Dexter Episodes Covered:

1x3: Popping Cherry

1x4: Let’s Give The Boy A Hand

Polite reminder Upper East Siders, ignorance isn’t bliss and we don’t give passes to our resident bad boy for his deplorable actions on the rooftop or for playing real life monopoly and selling his girlfriend for a hotel. Dismissal on his crimes gets the TV socialites stamp of disapproval. Art imitates life, life imitates art, art seperated from the artist, critique of the artist. We invite you to make your own choices, but we don’t expect you to be stupid enough to ignore someone on their birthday, attempt to steal your sisters boyfriend, leave your scarf at another woman’s house or sexually suck on fruit. The internet asks, what would Blair Whaldorf do, but we invite you to ask yourself, What would Derota do.

Gossip Girl Episodes Covered:

1x13: The Hurt Locket

1x14: The Lady Vanished

1x15: The Sixteen Year Old Virgin

1x16: The Empire Strikes Jack

1x17: Inglorious Basstards

The fictional world is full of shitty men, and none are more shitter than Wisteria Lane’s very own mild child, Tom Scarvo. Tom might not be worthy of Lynette, but he’s worthy of Dexter’s table and our Nandos rage scale.

From cheerleader fantasies to WIGS, Tom Scarvo’s asshole is getting ripped wide open.