Happy Thanksgiving, Upper East Siders. This year we are trading gratitude for political scandals, our best friend for a married man who definitely won’t abandon us at the side of the road in a wrecked car, and a celebrity girlfriend for our stalker bestie.

Remember Upper East Siders, our lives are not so glamorous from the inside, don’t look too close through the windows. You may not like what you find.

Gossip Girl Episodes Covered:

3x8: The Grandfather pt2

3x9: They Shoot Humphrey’s Don’t They?

3x10: The Last Days Of Discostick

3x11: The Treasures of Serena Madre

3x12: The Debarted

Welcome to the dollhouse, Dexter. On your fridge you’ll find a strategically placed doll head. Please open the door to claim your reward.

Dexter Episodes Covered:

Pilot

1x02: Crocodile Tears

Spotted: Brooklyn Gothic Barbie unleashing her inner dark passenger and spilling yoghurt instead of blood. Remember Upper East Siders, yoghurt kills.

Gossip Girl Episodes Covered:

3x3: The Lost Boy

3x4: Dan De Fleurette

3x5: Rufus Getting Married

3x6: Enough About Eve

3x7: How To Succeed In Bassness

From serial killers to serial brides, Lily Vanderwoodsen is getting married again, and we’ve received our yearly invitation. Surprise Mother fucker, Serena has a new dad, Lily and Rufus have a new son, and tables are flipped instead of topped. You don’t want to miss the event of the year.

• ​ XO XO, Tv Socialites

Gossip Girl Episodes Covered:

3x3: The Lost Boy

3x4: Dan De Fleurette

3x5: Rufus Getting Married

3x6: Enough About Eve

3x7: How To Succeed In Bassness

That’s right upper east siders, we’re headed to Miami to solve some crimes and be very anti social

Even Gossip Girl has technical difficulties and we here at Tv Socialities HQ apologise for the interruption

Once More, with scandal, that’s the way of the upper east side where my labels are the only ones that matter. You think changing location means you can out run me? I’m there with you always, reminding you that Serena Vanderwoodsen, you will always be irrelevant. You might have graduated from high school, but you can’t take the high school out of the girl. This year will be a hellmouth.

Oops, Serena did it again, ran away and got married to another soggy bread man in Spain after a drunken night, Gabriel, yet another man on our disapproval list. This week is messy from drunken marriages, to interrupted religious ceremonies and and hurricane Blair taking down her friends one at a time. Grab your umbrellas Upper East Siders, we hear the he rain in Spain doesn’t stay mainly in the plane

Someone give Chuck Bass his flowers for his powerful performance of grief but Blair isn’t receiving flowers this year because she didn’t get into Yale. Dan and Serena may think their new English teacher is the greatest, but here at Tv Socialites HQ, we send Nonces straight to jail.

Grab your orange jump suit Rachel, Blair might not be going to Yale but You’re going to Jail.

*No Rory Glimore’s were harmed in the production of this episode*

XO XO, Tv Socialites

Gossip Girl Episodes Covered:

2x13: O Brother, Where Bart Thou?

2x14: in The Realm Of Basses

2x15: Gone With The Will

2x16: You’ve Got Yale

2x17: Carnal Knowledge

It’s a wonderful life on the Upper East side full of secrets, lies and scandals and we are ready to expose it all under fluorescent lights. The frustration at Serena’s choice in bland and pretentious men increases, Cyrus has finally arrived and stolen our hearts, Little J desires to be Nathan Scott and Muffy’s Muff got stuffed.

Here at TV Socialites, We question everything and trust nobody.

XO XO Tv Socialites

Gossip Girl Episodes Covered:

- 2x8: Pret-a-Poor J

- 2x9: there might be blood

2x10: bonfire of the vanity

2x11: the magnificent Archibald’s

2x12: it’s a wonderful lie