Different Is Normal

Why does a child look “fine” at school… then fall apart the second they get home?

In this episode of Different Is Normal, Dave and Emily unpack masking (trying to behave like someone you’re not) and the very real cost it can have on a child’s brain and nervous system.

Masking often looks like compliance: the quiet kid, the “good” kid, the student who’s sitting still and appearing to listen. But underneath, they may be spending all their energy on: “Am I sitting right? Am I listening right? Am I acting normal?” And when they finally reach their safe place (home) the cup overflows: shutdowns, meltdowns, stimming, exhaustion, or total withdrawal.

We talk classroom signs educators often miss, why “coping” and “masking” get confused, how accommodations can make learning possible, and what parents can do when their child needs space after school.

Chapters

00:00 Masking and the after-school crash

00:52 Masking can look like compliance

01:20 “Looking like you’re listening” vs actually learning

02:18 What ES staff can do (reduce input, support output)

03:42 When teachers mistake stillness for engagement

04:12 Laptop/music accommodation story (what good support can look like)

07:07 Fairness vs equity in classrooms

08:06 Home as the safe place to unmask

09:28 Adults need decompression too

10:40 Family story: touch, boundaries, and space

12:28 Impact vs intention (hug expectations)

13:38 Cognitive energy: constant self-monitoring

15:26 Masking and health costs (exhaustion, pain, appetite)

17:44 Advocating: “No more questions”

19:15 Social energy, microsignals, and tone

20:34 Why “How are you?” can be a huge question

23:03 Pattern recognition and misunderstanding social cues

23:53 Sarcasm and literal interpretation

26:00 Why society doesn’t learn the other language

27:43 Editing yourself in real time is exhausting

29:01 Prioritising rest over “shoulds” at home

30:53 Connection can be parallel, not always together

31:53 Making home a safe space to be fully yourself

33:36 School vs home: two different versions of the same child

33:52 Camp planning and proactive supports

36:45 Supporting participation (not forced sameness)

40:24 Supporting expert maskers before it’s “too late”

43:52 Building a strong parent-school relationship

46:54 Adjustments that help one child often help everyone

47:53 The real costs: joy, play, creativity, connection

49:41 Unmasked autistic joy (and why it matters)

55:47 Everyone masks sometimes, but the cost isn’t equal

57:59 Shutdown in class: space + safety + time

1:00:48 Hidden burnout signs (special interests disappearing)

1:07:08 Sleep + dysregulation snowball

1:14:36 Executive function collapse (“I can’t”)

1:15:56 “School refusal” vs “school can’t”

1:19:07 A social model approach to education

1:21:02 Where we saw Different Is Normal this week

Other episodes

Episode 1 – Navigating Diagnosis Day: https://youtu.be/BN3uU0H44Zs

Episode 2 – Normal Isn’t Real: https://youtu.be/NUAMr90xumY

Episode 3 – When Everyday Things Are Too Much: https://youtu.be/hKjAP-lZJ_4

#Autism #Neurodiversity #AutismParenting #AutisticBurnout #Masking #InclusiveEducation #DifferentIsNormal

In this episode of Different Is Normal, Dave and Emily unpack a powerful idea: all behaviour is communication. We talk about autism and ADHD behaviours in kids and teens, why meltdowns and “refusal” are often a sign of unmet needs, and how capacity, environment, and curiosity can change the way parents and educators respond.

If you’re a parent, teacher, or education support worker supporting neurodivergent young people, this conversation will help you spot patterns, recognise triggers, and respond with empathy instead of punishment.

Key moments:

00:23 Welcome and why behaviour gets labelled “bad”

04:52 Behaviour is communication for all humans

08:53 Capacity and why patterns get missed

22:07 Kids do well if they can (CPS, Ross Greene)

23:31 The key question: “What need isn’t being met?”

26:40 The neurodivergent backpack and after-school explosions

33:42 Kids aren’t giving us a hard time, they’re having a hard time

34:54 Fibromyalgia, burnout, and the power of rest

Resources mentioned:

• The Explosive Child (Ross Greene)
• Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS)
• NeuroWild: neurodivergent backpack illustration

If this helped you feel less alone or more seen, share it with someone who needs it. Over and out.

Stimming, autism, ADHD, emotional regulation — what if the behaviour we’re trying to stop is actually what helps kids learn?

In this episode of Different Is Normal, we unpack what stimming really is, why it matters, and how classrooms often misunderstand it.

Stimming is not misbehaviour.

It’s not disrespect.

It’s not something to eliminate.

It’s a nervous system regulating itself.

We explore:

• What stimming actually means (and why the definition matters)

• The difference between neurotypical and neurodivergent stimming

• Why “sit still and listen” can work against learning

• How movement increases focus and engagement

• What happens when stimming is allowed instead of suppressed

• The impact of school rules on regulation

• Why acceptance changes everything

We also share real classroom stories, parenting moments, and practical examples of what happens when teachers choose regulation over compliance.

If you’ve ever been told to stop tapping, stop rocking, stop moving — this conversation is for you.

Stimming is super normal.

We all do it.

The difference is how visible it is.

When we allow regulation, learning improves.

When we normalise difference, kids feel safe.

00:00 What Is Stimming?

02:43 Stimming and Emotional Regulation

05:42 Home vs School Differences

08:03 Does Stimming Help Learning?

13:29 Individual Differences

21:08 Creating Supportive Classrooms

29:05 The Future of Stimming in Education

What’s a stim you’ve noticed in yourself?

Comment below and help us normalise it.

🎙 Podcast: Different Is Normal

Real talk about neurodivergent lives.

Subscribe for honest conversations about autism, ADHD, sensory processing, education support, parenting, and regulation.

Sensory overload isn’t being “picky”, “defiant”, or “difficult” — it’s a nervous system under pressure.

In this episode of Different Is Normal, we unpack what sensory overload actually feels like for neurodivergent kids and adults, and why everyday things like food, clothing, noise, routines, and school environments can become overwhelming.

As parents and education support workers, we share real-life experiences of sensory processing differences — from food sensitivities and clothing tags to showers, transitions, and classroom expectations — and how these are often misunderstood as behaviour problems.

This is Sensory 101: neuro-affirming, practical, and grounded in lived experience.

You’ll hear:

• What sensory overload actually feels like inside the body
• Why food preferences and routines are often sensory, not behavioural
• How sensory needs show up differently at home and at school
• Why behaviour is communication — not defiance
• Small, realistic adjustments that make a big difference

We also reference the Sensory Processing Wheel by Lindsay Braman, a simple, neuro-affirming visual that explains the full range of sensory systems — including proprioceptive and interoceptive senses — and why regulation looks different for every person.

👉 Learn more about the Sensory Processing Wheel here:

https://lindsaybraman.com/sensory-processing-wheel/

If you’re a parent, education support worker, teacher, or neurodivergent adult, this episode will help you better understand sensory load — and why support starts with curiosity, not control.

Different was never the problem. Pressure was.

00:00 What Sensory Overload Really Is

02:52 Food Sensitivities and Sensory Processing

05:14 Why Daily Routines Can Be Overwhelming

07:56 Clothing, Tags, and Comfort

10:41 Sensory Needs and “Behaviour”

15:54 Masking and Communication

23:14 Sensory Load Across Environments

26:14 Building Rapport and Safety at School

31:34 Parent–School Collaboration

34:09 Small Adjustments, Big Impact

37:39 Choice, Autonomy, and Regulation

49:12 Celebrating Small Wins

sensory overload, sensory processing, neurodiversity, autism, sensory needs, interoception, proprioception, education support, inclusive classrooms, parenting neurodivergent children

In this episode of Different Is Normal, Dave and Emily unpack why “normal” is a social construct — and how it quietly harms neurodivergent kids in schools, families, and friendships.

They explore how ideas of normal are shaped by environment, why compliance gets rewarded over wellbeing, and how small accommodations can radically improve learning and engagement for all students — not just neurodivergent ones.

This is a real, practical conversation about neurodiversity, education, parenting, and what inclusion actually looks like in classrooms and homes.

If you’ve ever wondered why your child thrives at home but crashes after school — or why “fitting in” feels exhausting — this episode is for you.

• Why there is no universal definition of “normal”
• How schools reward sameness (often unintentionally)
• Why accommodations benefit every learner
• Parenting neurodivergent children with dignity and understanding
• Recognition vs rewards in education
• How friendships are changing in a digital world
• What inclusive classrooms actually look like in practice

Normal isn’t the goal.

Understanding, flexibility, and acceptance are.

00:00 What “Normal” Really Means

02:39 How Environment Shapes Behaviour

05:16 Neurodiversity in Education

08:28 Why Accommodations Matter

10:43 Parenting Neurodivergent Kids

12:55 Rethinking Success in School

15:40 Digital Friendships & Social Change

18:30 Recognising Effort, Not Compliance

20:52 Flexible Learning Environments

23:48 Inclusive Classrooms in Practice

26:31 Recognition vs Rewards

28:56 School Rules That Don’t Work

31:33 Parent–School Communication

34:21 Finding the Right Learning Environment

36:50 Passion-Led Learning

39:23 Adaptability in Teaching

41:54 Behaviour as Communication

44:32 Acceptance as a Process

47:31 Defining a New Normal

49:46 Why Difference Is Normal

Different Is Normal is a podcast about neurodivergent lives — not theory, just what actually helps.

Hosted by Dave and Emily, parents and education support workers having honest conversations about school, belonging, and wellbeing.

The conversation delves into the experiences of parents navigating the journey to diagnosis for their neurodivergent children. It explores the emotional impact of diagnosis, the importance of community and support, and the role of advocacy and understanding in the process.

Takeaways

• Diagnosis Day: A Culmination of Experiences
• The Importance of Community and Support

Chapters

00:13 The Journey to Diagnosis Day

03:51 Experiences of Diagnosis Day

08:38 Navigating the Medical System

16:57 Sharing the Diagnosis with Others

19:26 Impact on Social Dynamics

29:06 The Importance of Community Support

34:21 Conclusion and Final Thoughts