Robert is joined by author, Integral philosophy teacher, and 40+ year veteran psychotherapist Dr. Keith Witt to explore a topic that is sometimes considered a “four letter word” in today’s culture—narcissism. Though typically thought of in narrowly defined terms, Dr. Keith Witt helps broaden our perspective through various lenses: historical, political, psychological, and Integral/developmental. Discover how there is both a narcissist and a wise self in all of us. Warning: this episode goes down some intellectual rabbit-holes as we Integral theory geeks tend to do.

Some of the topics we explore include:

- The Roman poet Ovid’s original portrayal of Narcissus

- Narcissistic traits vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

- The Trump phenomenon

- Authoritarian systems and narcissism

- Practices for authentic self-love

- The importance of having a sense of humour

Show notes:

1:49 - Introducing Dr. Keith Witt

4:28 - Ovid’s story of Narcissus

6:42 - Freud turns psychology into a science

10:03 - The introduction of the term “narcissism”

12:18 - Everything is relationships

15:13 - A limited number of therapy sessions with narcissists

18:54 - The difference between narcissistic traits and NPD

20:15 - The introduction of shame in children and regulation

22:14 - The Jean Piaget experiment for cognitive development

23:58 - All cultures have hierarchies

25:32 - Historical timeline of how humans developed self-awareness

27:48 - Historical figures throughout time who looked at the world through an Integral lens

29:15 - There is an epidemic of how we relate with mental illnesses

31:39 - Integral theory and Spiral Dynamics: Tribal

33:50 - Authoritarian systems and narcissism

34:43 - The Trump phenomenon

39:38 - How narcissism gets internalized at different stages of development

45:15 - Keith’s journey of learning about psychology

47:53 - The biggest blindspot in modern business is middle-management

49:24 - Regulation and the rock star/child celebrity example

52:32 - Service is one of the main vehicles out of narcissism

55:10 - Recovering from the addiction of narcissism

57:22 - Extreme opportunities to re-author self after traumatic events

1:01:25 - We are social beings

1:00:54 - Covert narcissism

1:02:34 - The importance of having a sense of humour, “hurts more, bothers us less”

1:04:47 - Using projection to help narcissists grow

1:05:24 - Looking in the mirror at both our strengths and weaknesses

1:06:04 - Different lines of development

1:06:50 - Maturity around protecting good, true, and beautiful assets like language

1:10:24 - There’s a wise self in all of us

1:11:07 - Giving feedback in a plus/delta format, focusing on strengths as well as weaknesses

Dr Keith Witt is a licensed clinical psychologist, lecturer and author dedicated to studying, teaching, and creating transformative healing systems. He’s been practicing psychotherapy in Santa Barbara, California for over 40 years, where he’s conducted over 55,000 therapy sessions with individuals, couples, and groups. Find his books, trainings, and more here: https://drkeithwitt.com/

Robert is joined by Jayson Gaddis—author, relationship expert, and coach who teaches people the one class they didn’t get in school--“How To Do Relationships.” He is the founder of The Relationship School training programs and podcast. Robert and Jayson discuss the pros and cons of relationship practices and help uncover ways that we both set ourselves up for success and failure in our relationships. Together they will take you on a journey considering some of the mechanics of what goes on in our relationships that are most important to us, whether those are professional working relationships, intimate partnerships, or at home with our kids. Are there reliable ways to work towards more health and intimacy even in the face of conflict? Jayson has a well-developed toolkit for success.

1:14 - Introducing Jayson Gaddis

4:16 - What is relationship practice?

4:40 - Listening in a way people feel understood, and can receive you

5:26 - All different levels of relationship

5:45 - High stakes relationships

7:00 - “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend the holidays with your family”

7:34 - The first step is not talking, it’s learning how to become a better listener

9:11 - “Captive audience,” “Monologers,” and active listening

12:34 - The disaster of feeling seen in workshops vs. not feeling seen at home

13:48 - “the authentic alien imposter” and setting better context

15:52 - Feedback and feedback for leaders

18:00 - Diversity, equity, and inclusion

19:07 - Feedback conversations as a habit and the “plus/delta” practice

20:11 - Positive versus Constructive feedback - coach John Wooden versus Bill Belicheck

22:58 - Hyper-vigilance to feel safe

24:09 - Some of us look for what’s wrong

24:45 - The “narcissistic partnerships”

25:29 - How do we know when to speak up about what’s not working?

27:09 - People don’t know how to get to a baseline of “good” and “safe”

28:54 - The work never stops.

29:19 - A collaborative partner with a growth-oriented mindset is important

30:55 - Getting to zero, aka a regulated nervous system

31:25 - Four ways we disconnect: posture, collapse, seek, avoid

33:06 - Zero is possible!

34:45 - Mutual power relationships

35:08 - Interactive regulation: I can help you regulate your nervous system

35:55 - How can you set your kids up for success to contribute to the dynamic?

39:02 - It all boils down to secure attachment

41:22 - Is there a core capability we can foster for success here?

42:48 - Secure attachment is created by the repair process after disconnection happens

43:07 - The Still Face Experiment with Dr. Edward Tronick

43:50 - Mom can’t attune to baby’s needs

45:40 - Box breathing: Allow your nervous system to move from sympathetic to parasympathetic

46:19 - Simple meditation— NESTR: Number, Emotion, Sensation, Thoughts, Resource

48:57 - The difference between Attachment Science and Attachment Parenting and Styles

51:09 - Kids emotions should not run the household

53:22 - Pitfall: “relationships are supposed to make us feel good”

54:13 - Pitfall: “conflict is not good”

55:50 - Importance of higher purpose

56:39 - Personal responsibility

58:21 - Gaddis’ new book: Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships

More from Jayson:

In this episode, Robert speaks with leadership coach Tripp Lanier to look at the quagmire of self-development -- particularly in leadership and “men’s work.” Between the space of forfeiting a sense of identity and needs and desires lies a balance where men get to be vulnerable and still sovereign. Can men walk this line with the proper intentions and a will to enjoy life at every turn? We explore all the challenges and blessings of self development. (Warning: this episode has some vulgar language)

Some of the topics we explore:

- Our most common excuses to avoid taking risks

Show Notes:

1:06 - Introducing Tripp

2:15 - The New Man Podcast

3:13 - Not only chasing spiritual development, looking for lasting change

5:25 - Anything can be turned into an escape

7:04 - Is fear good? Is fear used as an excuse for escape?

8:13 - Do I have to believe every fear I have?

8:36 - We’re trying hard to avoid our human experience

9:31 - Discernment around fear

11:08 - Chesterton’s Fence— do we jump over or respect the fence?

14:15 - The destructive impulse of the postmodern age

15:16 - The nuance of relationship

17:42 - Nice Guy Syndrome

18:35 - Posturing and collapsing

20:20 - Leading vs. waiting

21:11 - The fear of death

21:32 - When fear becomes noise

23:25 - These phantoms in our minds are gargoyles on the threshold

25:10 - Relief vs. peace of mind

27:17 - Saying “no” to one thing is really saying “yes” to what’s more in alignment

28:28 - Adding things vs. removing things

30:17 - Emotions as a doorway to information

30:57 - Freedom, aliveness, love, and peace

34:24 - The exoneration mindset

37:50 - Story from Invisibilia on oil rig workers

38:54 - The identity piece

43:07 - Moving the fear dial as a form of strength

49:00 - Fun as currency

51:05 - The antidote to fear is being bold

In episode#6 of Dignities and Disasters, Robert MacNaughton and Michael Porcelli tease out the good, the messy middle and the bad of conservatism. Often misconstrued to be aligned with right-wing politics, conservatism emphasizes the value of the past and the wisdoms accrued through it. Whether exploring the idiosyncrasies of folk tales, the quasi-colonialism of modern day politics’ foreign affairs or the inevitable Godwin’s Law, this episode will have you thinking.

Some of the topics we explore:

- The Conservative Disposition 

Show Notes:

07:37 - The conservative disposition

08:20 - Heuristics

11:10 - Chesterton’s Fence

12:00 - Folk wisdom and rules of thumb

14:10 - Hesitate (Scruton’s slogan)

15:50 - Continuity

16:05 - Star Trek Prime Directive

17:02 - Unintended consequences

18:50 - Localism

20:00 - Duty and obligation

21:15 - Civility

23:00 - Moral foundations

24:30 - Tragic vision - Sowell/Pinker

29:40 - The messy middle

32:17 - Grandma’s ham

36:05 - Live caller #1

42:09 - The grapevine telephone

46:05 - Patriotism

46:35 - Enthocentricity

49:34 - Libertarianism

50:09 - Mistrust of experts and Populism

52:35 - Conservatism vs the Right

54:19 - Religious rule

55:07 - Reactionary and neo-reactionary conservatism

56:43 - Neo vs Paleo conservatism

57:33 - Imperialism and colonialism

58:35 - Isolationism

59:40 - Ethno nationalism

1:03:37 - Live caller #2

1:15:29 - Conclusion

Cartoon: Our Blessed Kingdom and Their Barbarous Wastes

References:

How to be a Conservative by Roger Scruton

Thomas Sowell - Conflict of visions

Jonathan Haidt -  The Righteous Mind (Moral Foundations theory)

Edmund Burke (1729-1797) - originator of political conservatism as a philosophy

In episode#5 of Dignities and Disasters, Robert MacNaughton and Dr. David Tusek embark on an exploration of the turbulent world of healthcare and share some visions for what's possible ahead. While the rage and disappointment can lead to despondency, healthcare workers are finding ways to get back to doing what they have always wanted to do--ensuring people have healthier lives. How can we extract the good from the broken and forge ahead with inspiration? Dr. Tusek seems to be several steps ahead of the pack.

Some of the topics we explore:

- A quick tour of the 3 "dominant logic systems": traditional/ethnocentric, modern/meritocratic, postmodern/pluralistic/progressive (developmental psychology, spiral dynamics, integral theory)

Shownotes:

01:39 - Who is Dr. David Tusek

Dr. Tusek is a board-certified family physician who also has experience as an emergency room doctor. He is a member of the Academy of Sports Medicine, the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine, and the Institute of Functional Medicine. Dr. Tusek relishes the close connectivity with his Cloud DPC patients, whether they are training for the Olympics, dealing with an illness, or simply trying to lose a few pounds. He believes that enhancing your quality of life is just as important as extending the quantity of your years. Dr. Tusek combines expertise in advanced diagnostics and optimization of brain and body function using a broad-based approach, blending cutting edge technologies with a natural orientation.  He uses a wide variety of gentle, needle-based therapies to treat musculoskeletal and neuromuscular conditions and injuries (including PRP and botox). He performs various office-based surgeries, cryosurgeries, and treatments of minor trauma. In 2004, he became one of the first practitioners in Colorado to offer bio-identical hormone implants, and has been working closely with compounding pharmacies (those pharmacies that prepare personalized medications for patients), to provide the purest, most effective forms of natural therapies. In 2009, Dr. Tusek co-founded one of the nation’s first DPC programs, which he sold in 2016.  He then went on to launch Cloud Medical DPC, and currently oversees several other healthcare ventures including Cloud Collective.

“Money -- It's a crime. Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie.

"Society is demanding that companies, both public and private, serve a social purpose. To prosper over time, every company must not only deliver financial performance, but also show how it makes a positive contribution to society."

In episode #4 of Dignities & Disasters Robert discusses Wealth--joined by Greg Berry from Conscious Capital Wealth Management.  While money and investments can incentivize greed, it can also be used as a tool for the betterment of society, the environment, and all of us here on Earth.  In a system full of imbalances--how do we develop a relationship with wealth that avoids wanting to burn it all down? We investigate the good, the bad, and the ugly of wealth.

Points discussed:

- Holistic Wealth -- 5 Forms of Capital: Financial - money and investments ; Material - business, home, real estate ; Social - family and community ; Human - health, career, legacy ; Purpose - why you are here

Resources:

- The Creature from Jekyll Island: A Second Look at the Federal Reserve -- G. Edward Griffin

Greg Berry is a Whole Wealth Advisor at Conscious Capital Wealth Management. For over 25 years, Greg has been an advisor to entrepreneurs, investors, philanthropists and executives, both in the famous entrepreneurial ecosystem of Boulder, Colorado, and across several continents. He guides people at different points of wealth creation to evolve their relationship with wealth and money, towards more holistic and responsible approach, which is now commonly called 'impact investing.' For over 10 years, he has been an activist and catalyst for the impact investing community in Colorado.

In this episode of Dignities and Disasters, Robert MacNaughton and Michael Porcelli wade into the murky waters of capitalism. What evokes a bitter taste in the mouth for some, is to others an ideology that has advanced society in the direction of innovation and prosperity. From financial mechanisms through free market exchange and privatization of production, what exactly is capitalism? What has it done right and where has it fallen down? 

Some of the topics we explore:

Context:

- Semantics, healthy debate, and mutual understanding

Dignities:

- Private ownership of the means of production, and operation for profit as a way of getting goods and services into hands that need them

Disasters:

Resources:

In this episode of Dignities & Disasters, Robert MacNaughton and Michael Porcelli discuss one of the topics on the tips of the tongues of the United States these days. When it comes to Socialism, the definition itself seems to be loosely adopted by the political agenda it is pushing. We drive to the heart of socialism in many of its forms and unpack the good, the bad, and the confusing. We call this version 0.1 of addressing this topic since we’re not political or economic authorities, and we’re just scratching the surface of this far-sweeping and divisive area of discussion.

Some of the topics we explore:

The Basics:

- Social ownership of the means of production

The Dignities:

- Humans are inherently equal, and everyone should have an equal opportunity to thrive

The Disasters:

- Creation of a class of dependents

Resources mentioned:

- Roger Scruton - How to be a Conservative

Join us for this nuanced investigation of the postmodernism worldview as Robert MacNaughton and Michael Porcelli unpack what’s worth keeping and what’s gone over the edge in this late 20th century movement that questions all that would normally be considered "True."

There’s a lot of discussion these days about all of the dangers of postmodernism if you’re plugged into the “Intellectual Dark Web”--e.g. identity politics, political correctness, partisan politics, and cancel culture. What you won’t easily find is an appropriate nuanced acknowledgement of what’s important about how postmodernism has up-leveled our culture and therefore shouldn’t be disregarded wholesale. The aim here is to distinguish both sides as fairly as we can--acknowledging our biases where we’re aware of them--and giving you the best opportunity to recognize where and how these elements live in your own world.

As this is the first episode in this series, we decided to start with some philosophical foundations. In many ways, helping our clients, friends, and community with the “pitfalls of postmodernism” has been a primary inspiration for this project, and the principles explored here will likely echo through the series.

Further Resources:

Robert MacNaughton, host, is an executive coach and facilitator who is a pioneer in the fields of Integral community organization, leadership development, and experiential education. Robert focuses on supporting leaders with execution strategies, fostering healthy work culture, and navigating interpersonal conflict both personally and professionally. Robert co-founded the bygone Integral Center in Boulder, Colorado in association with renowned philosopher Ken Wilber, which hosted an international community of thought leaders, practitioners, and "evolutionaries."

Michael Porcelli, co-host and "pandit” or general subject matter expert, is a coach, educator, writer, speaker, facilitator, consultant, and specialist in social technology. Over his career, he’s developed insight into the dynamics between human beings, technology, and the social world. He has expertise in Authentic Relating; Holacracy; Evolutionary, Teal, & For-Purpose Enterprises. Michael is a founding member with Bedrock Culture and Leadership, and a former colleague of Robert’s at the Integral Center where he directed curriculum and faculty development