We’re back in the Colosseum to eat bread, olive oil, grapes, and pomegranate before discussing Gladiator II (2024). Is this a better film than the original or a less effective carbon copy that no one needed? Lucius’s unwarranted change from revenge to forgiveness makes the film shallow while the inclusion of a Colosseum naval battle, even with sharks, makes it spectacular. Macrinus’s deception of the Emperors Timmy and Tommy and pulling their strings is a great addition that needed to be played up. There’s a better story here somewhere buried under the blood and dust.

We’re off on another pirate adventure this week when we eat crab, coconut water, melon, pineapple, and apple before discussing Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006). The addition of Elizabeth thirsting for Jack’s pirate booty is out of character for a person who just had her wedding to Will Turner ruined. There may be too much silly sword-fighting in the film, but Bootstrap Bill and Davy Jones make this continuing story better. Now we’re off to go save Jack with help from a demon monkey and an old “friend?”

We were looking for a good dinner to have with a movie and stumbled upon kimchi gumbo and Searching (2018). Everyone becomes a suspect in this story full of twists, turns, and dead ends that have you on the edge of your seat up until the final reveal. John Cho and Debra Messing are brilliant. It’s a little cliché in places, but a suspenseful ride that’ll make you want to turn the car around and go back to the scene of the crime.

We take a ride to a galaxy far, far away to eat sushi and talk about Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Is this the best Star Wars movie? We think it is. It has everything from a smart-assed droid to a non-Jedi blind guy. A couple of CGI cameos and misplaced droids brings it down, but just like the Death Star nothing’s perfect. The prequel that nobody asked for delivers the hope for the Star Wars universe that we all need.

We eat some grocery store deli food and discuss the movie Funny People (2009) this week. Is it nostalgic brilliance or a half-acted mess? We’ll let you decide. One thing we can agree on is that the love story part of the film drags on way too long. With too many comedian cameos to count, this film may be an ode to the past that Judd Apatow thinks is funny more than the audience does.

We took a break from the jar this week to watch something new. Was it a joke or was it Joker: Folie a Deux? The world didn’t need another jukebox musical or another Joker movie, so we decided it was more of a gag than a movie. What didn’t make us gag was the talent of the actors and their ability to make something from the lackluster writing. That wasn’t enough to get high praise from us. We have to say that the folie in this is definitely number two.

This week, we are taking a ride down the river Nile as we eat Mediterranean food, possibly with bugs, and discuss The Mummy (1999). We are in love with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz as much as Imhotep is in love with Anck Su Namun. This film is full of entertainment if you can get over the ability to teleport to and from locations with ease and silly effects that may be as cool as a face in a sandstorm but are ill-used when it comes to plot and the rules of magic. Who wouldn’t wait dead for years in the desert, after being buried alive, to be resurrected and practically immortal with the intention of reuniting with the love of your life? Wait, is this a love story or an action movie?

Papa, can you hear us? We eat some unburnt fish and baked apple before discussing the movie Yentl. This musical, with songs sung only by the title character, is an anthem for feminism and women’s rights. The stars shine brightly in this film, especially with Mandy Patinkin’s full moon out for everyone to see.