Aaron’s out, so Dan and Grant immediately go off the rails. Spokane may apparently be the real biblical Jerusalem, nipples get a full professional evaluation, road bikers are officially put on notice, and Grant reveals his secret past as a ’90s rave battle dancer—including the night he somehow ended up hanging out with Chili from TLC. Plus aliens, family dynamics, capitalism, getting old, shitting yourself, and the usual complete lack of restraint.

The Dirty Dads are officially being listened to in 91 countries, which obviously means roughly 650,000 listeners per country. Don't check the math.

This week, the boys unveil the new DDP look, track down Grant's long-lost South African childhood friend, discuss Seattle's innovative purse-theft transportation system, question whether the World Cup is rigged, and immediately sell out to Costco despite Costco having absolutely no interest in sponsoring us.

Dan drives a Porsche GT3 and Ferrari 488 at 130 mph, Aaron fields perhaps the least criminal legal emergency in Seattle history, and somehow we discover that Costco sells an alarming number of whole frozen goats.

Then everything goes to hell.

Would you rather clean a Russian bathhouse or the porta-potties after a catastrophic Dave Matthews weekend? What's your price for something so degrading that your family can never look at you the same way again? And for $2 million, would you spend a night helpless in the rainforest surrounded by poisonous frogs, centipedes and whatever the fuck else lives out there?

We may have also accidentally created a new weekly segment: Would You Rather?

Three dads. 91 countries. Absolutely no adult supervision.

The boys are back after a busted livestream and immediately spiral into car accidents, old-man habits, swingers, upside-down pineapples, punchable faces, Aurora pimp wars, strip clubs, prison hypotheticals, movie talk, travel stories, and somehow end up debating cereal, cookies, and the fastest path to diabetes. Completely chaotic, wildly inappropriate, and very much back on brand.

Aaron is out, so Keegan jumps into the co-host chair as the guys tackle the riots in Belfast, debate the economics of Washington ferries, and accidentally invent the world's worst business empire: a bail bond company, bar, pawn shop, casino boat, and fitness ferry all rolled into one. Along the way they discuss car accidents, South African accents, World Cup soccer, Tiësto tickets, aging gracefully (or not), and a medication for bulging eyeballs that somehow has hearing loss as a side effect. Just another completely normal episode of Dirty Dads.

This week the Dirty Dads completely lose control from the opening minute. The boys dive into misunderstood jokes, bad monkey reviews, Vince Vaughn movies, Renfair takeover plans, boxer briefs vs. boxers, shotgun beers, sports trivia disasters, presidential history, concert bucket lists, and why no grown man should spend 10 minutes shaking after peeing.

This week the boys spiral from parental locks, screen time, gambling habits, and bad advice for kids into prison survival logic, cruise ship paranoia, waterfall-climbing fish, and an aggressively stupid plan to storm a Renaissance Faire and crown a new king. Completely unhinged, wildly unnecessary, and exactly the kind of chaos you’d expect.

The crew brings on Keegan and immediately derails into kilts, Scottish family patterns, fortune-telling reality TV, Ren Fair politics, fake teeth, Harry Potter, data centers, EDM nights, and whether Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey might secretly be brothers. It’s loose, chaotic, and very committed to the bit.

This episode is what happens when the dads probably should have rescheduled but absolutely did not. We bounce from platform meltdowns and day drinking to Sid Caesar, prostate health, short king science, movie arguments, prank stories, backyard upgrades, and a little casual geopolitical confusion for flavor. One of us is sick, one of us is over-served, and none of us stay on topic for more than thirty seconds. Business as usual.

The dads are back in rare form as Dan and Grant bounce from headlines and wild hypotheticals to hooker documentaries that should never exist, cousin discourse that definitely should not exist, and the eternal debate over tattoos, ticket prices, and grooming maintenance. Aaron briefly calls in to restore order, fails immediately, and helps steer the show straight back into chaos.

It’s been a while, but we’re back — and naturally we return with zero topics, plenty of nonsense, and full-on Dirty Dads chaos. This episode bounces from life being hectic and public speaking pressure to boomer takes, Camel Cash, late-night TV insanity, weird infomercials, Chuck Norris jokes, Steven Seagal slander, Conan love, and a truly terrible attempt to rebrand the show as “Triple DP.” Exactly the kind of unhinged comeback episode you’d expect from us.