The difficulties of life as a ministry wife can often leave us feeling discouraged, and sometimes, when our expectations for life and ministry go unmet, we may even find ourselves feeling deep disappointment with God. My guest today, Kathy Litton, understands this feeling and joins me to discuss how we can face discouragement in ministry.

Kathy lives in Mobile, AL with husband Dr. Ed Litton, pastor of Redemption Church. She knows the sting of death and the journey of loss against the backdrop of a loving Savior who proved to be faithful and good. Kathy is the Director of Planter Spouse Development at the North American Mission Board, as well as a mother and grandmother. Listen as Kathy discusses ministry wives balancing the reality of disappointment and unmet expectations with a God who is faithful even in the darkest times.

1. You will face unmet expectations as a planting wife in ministry.

The church plant site might not be what was expected, the community response lackluster, or the planting team not as helpful as anticipated.

When there is a gap between expectations and outcome, disappointment usually follows.

It’s okay to feel disheartened when the ministry isn’t what we hoped for, but we cannot remain disappointed in God without affecting our faith in Him.

“That’s the struggle in ministry: taking disappointment–a reality that’s really not coming together like you anticipate it–and not turning it into deep discouragement.”

2. God doesn’t forsake us when we are discouraged. He wants to give us truth and support to walk through the dark times.

Be genuine and go to God when afraid or dismayed or you will feed the bitterness of disappointment.

Remain in the Word every day. Don’t allow emotions to steal His truth from you.

“Isaiah 41:10 addresses someone’s fear and dismay. We can feel both those things and still be in a right relationship with God. But we have to lean into His strength to navigate our soul and not be dangerously led by emotions and responses to disappointing things.”

3. Our husbands need our honesty and our empathy.

You are partners in ministry, one flesh before God. Avoid hiding your reality from your husband.

Don’t explode on him. Prayerfully consider your timing and words, and then be honest with your struggles.

Husbands are struggling, too. Don’t explain or dismiss their pain, honor it. Offer love and affirmation when he is vulnerable about struggles.

“We don’t want to be another squeaky wheel in our husband’s life and yet that is not true. He needs to know where you are. He needs to be aware of your struggle, and you’re not being a brave little soldier by keeping that from him. He wants to shepherd.”

“Just because circumstances are not good does not mean God is not good.”

“The balance of disappointment with God is to still be able to see His blessings in the middle of it. It sounds like a contrast in terms, but we have to walk by faith in those dark moments. We have to take our disappointment to Him but also remember His undeserved kindness, goodness, and graciousness.”

Disappointment with God

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