Dismembering Horror

Find the boat keys! Also, don’t do drugs with random emo teens. This week Ryan and Tim watched the 2009 remake of Wes Craven’s The Last House on the Left. With two solid “rent” ratings, the guys explore the dichotomy between the very sensitive subject matter of this film, and the incredibly satisfying, well-executed acts of vengeance.

It’s all in the eyes! This week Ryan and Tim tackle another Giallo film—this time by the famed Dario Argento—and it’s not "Suspiria." Who knew the opera could be so much fun? With a “buy it” from Tim and a “hearty rent” from Ryan, the guys both gushed over the Argento's artistry.

He’s green! He’s super strong! He’s a scientist! He’s not The Hulk! He’s SWAMP THING! Ryan didn’t get “bogged” down in this week’s film despite its shortcomings, and would happily stream it, but Tim had to give it an “avoid.”

It’s "Arnold," the dead guy who terrorizes his family from the afterlife! You know the one? Ok fine, neither did we, but it was recommended to us so we had to watch it. Tim and Ryan agree that they would have avoided this film, but manage to find value in it, and always, have fun along the way.

They’re vampires! No— zombies! No— aliens! No— communists! This week Ryan and Tim come in for a landing on an alien wasteland with the Italian film "Planet of the Vampires." Our hosts differ not only in their opinions on this film with a “Rent/Stream” rating, but also on the influence it may or may not have had on certain future sci-fi staples.

“The brain sees what it wants to see!” This week Ryan and Tim go down a psychedelic dream hole invoked by the genius that is 2018’s "Ghost Stories." This anthology film earns high praise and a double-strong “Rent” from the both of your hosts, and maybe even a future “Buy.” Either way, it’s a must-see.

“Get to the CHOPPA!!!” — so Arnold can escape his soon-to-be-zombie daughter. This week got bleak with "Maggie," starring an against-type, can-act-like-a-sad-everyman-in-a-zombie-outbreak, Arnold Schwarzenegger. What could go wrong?

This week we went camping to "Lake Bodom," an aptly named NON-SLASHER that, much like the road you’d take to drive to the lake, was full of twists and turns. Find out if Ryan and Tim could get on board with this story “influenced by” a true set of murders at the infamous lake.

Santa, is that you? Nope, it’s just a Badass Basque Blacksmith who went back on his deal with the Devil and LITERALLY PUNCHES METAL with his BARE FISTS! This week’s film is a beautiful fairy tale that tickled both Ryan and Tim’s fancies, and teaches us that adults are dumb, kids are assholes, and the establishment is out to get ya.

Let’s press the record button ONE MORE TIME!!! "[REC] 2" is here— the self-proclaimed "Aliens" of the "[REC]" franchise—and they certainly delivered the action. PLUS ceiling-crawling demon zombies!!! This week’s film doubles up, and down, and up, and down (so many stairs) on the origins of the "[REC]" lore.