Diversity Dad podcast - Helping dads to "buck conventionally" and celebrate doing fatherhood differently.

Alex Barnett is a stand-up comic, podcaster and multi-cultural family man. He's appeared on Katie Couric, Sirius XM Raw Dog Comedy Hits and was featured in the Wall Street Journal, as well as Huffington Post and other popular publications and shows. He is also the host of the MultiRacial Family Man podcast here he discusses issues of concern to multi-racial people within multi-racial families. He is also the co-founder of Jewish Fathers Comedy Tour and active with other comedic acts in the New York City area.

In order to mesh everything he does together, Alex says he's jus done it "a bit at a time."

He believes that becoming a dad has been a great source of comedic material.

"Most of my act is talking about stuff that's happening in my life"

His podcast was an effort to continue the conversation about the issues he talks about on stage, but in a less comedic context.

Alex says the chance to add comedy and multi-racial topics presented themself naturally, as his wife is black and he's wife. Also, he's Jewish and his wife is converted.

"That was a fact of our life together. In comedy, the topics you can best present are true to your own life."

Alex believes that there is still a lot to be done in terms of racism in the country.

"Talking about these things is of the moment and important, so that's why I cover those matters"

He feels that he is a Diversity Dad by definition, being a diverse family. He also feels he is diverse in that he has a good level of empathy and sensitivity towards people of other races and ethnicities.

As Alex has gotten older, he's learned to be more mindful, and he practices meditation daily.

"When you're mindful, you consciously slow yourself down"

He says by doing this and exploring the world, you'll find most people are good by nature.

Alex shares that finding time for himself isn't easy, and it's a commodity that no one has an endless supply of.

"You have a finite amount of time on the planet, but most people probably are not maximizing the use of their time"

He believes that to a certain extent, the busier you are, you'll be more efficient.

The one thing that Alex is most excited about in terms of being a dad is just being able to spend time with his son.

"It's the best time of my day"

He adds that being a parent is better than any other career that he can think of.

"Literally, if I lost everything but still had my kid, I'd be way, way ahead"

Alex's proudest moment as a dad was when he saw his son born.

"That's when you're transformed, literally"

He feels that finding the resources to provide for his family, making time for everyone and making sure he's raising his child to make the right decisions are all obstacles that he's overcome as a dad.

An important decision that he's had to make involves his son's bedtime. Alex is often up late with his comedy, and his wife works often works late. This tends to set a tone that a later bedtime is normal for his son.

"I'm constantly asking myself if I'm making him go to sleep because it's good for him, or because we just want to make sure he knows we're in charge"

He finds that he and his wife are often leaving the decision of going to bed to their child, when he's tired.

"When they see that they can make the decision for themselves, they actually will do what you want them to do anyway"

Alex adds that it's important to establish boundaries, but not push too much within them.

His one piece of advice for dads is to remember that your child is an individual, and going to have thoughts and feelings that are different than yours. It's a delicate balancing act to establish good foundational concepts, but give them ample room to make decisions.

"People only get better at making decisions if they make them; that starts at a young age."

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.AlexBarnettComic.com (for bio & videos)

@BarnettComic (Twitter)

www.Facebook.com/AlexBarnettComic

Michael Vance – Show Notes

Michael is a technical writer for a software company based in Houston, Texas, and he's the dad of a 2.5 -year old boy who is the light of his life. Michael also volunteers with an afterschool program called Five Star Life, which teaches and encourages middle school students to embody the principles of courage, responsibility, integrity, sacrifice and respect. He is the co-host of the Better Father, Husband, Man podcast.

Michael says he volunteers with children in middle school because that's often the age when they start going off track in terms of alcohol and drug use, among other problems.

"We want to encourage them to be leaders and examples in their homes"

The Five Star Life program has been in existence for about 10 years, beginning in Indiana.

Michael and his wife are intercultural, with her being from Nigeria, which he says in part makes him a Diversity Dad. They blend their cultures together and discuss how they want to raise their son.

"To take the best of both of these worlds and kind of meld them together"

As well, his life experiences of living in some unique places has giving him a unique perspective of the world.

He has his son interact with other people and his wife is teaching him her native language. Michael is a big believer of introducing his son to music from other cultures.

Seeing what his son is going to "latch on to" and become involved in is what has Michael most excited.

"I'm just excited to see him grow and take ownership of what he wants to do with his life"

He's most proud of seeing his son play the drums and practice, as well as the first time he held his son.

"It was humbling to hold him and realize he was my responsibility"

As a father, Michael tries to stand up to the standard his father set for him.

His biggest obstacle has been learning to sacrifice things, which was difficult because there are certain things he still wants to do.

"He needs to interact with me. I need to interact with him."

The bonding relationship between father and son actually starts right away and you can miss out on so much when you neglect your children.

One piece of advice Michael can give is to embrace the role of fatherhood.

"Fatherhood is an awesome responsibility, and we play a critical role in the lives of our children"

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.BetterHFM.com

www.Twitter.com/Better_HFM

https://www.facebook.com/betterhfm/?fref=ts

[email protected]

Nate Turner – Show Notes

Nate Turner is a father, entrepreneur and motivational speaker. He's the author of "Raising Supaman" and the upcoming book "Stop The Bus: A Critique of and Counsel for America's Educational System." Nate is also the creator of a program called The GPS, where he teaches parents on how to engage and become zealous advocates for their children.

For his first book, Nate published a collection of letters he wrote his son from ages two to 16. He says his motivation for doing this was the poor relationship he had with his father.

"When I realized I was going to be a parent, one of the things I wanted to make sure I did was that I didn't mess up my relationship with my son"

The cards and letters Nate wrote helped his son start reading shortly after he turned three years old.

"They were actually more than notes. I mean they're life lessons."

Being part of a race that makes up a small segment of fathers is what makes Nate a Diversity Dad, as well his opinions and perspectives on fatherhood. Nate also says the challenges he's overcome as a father contributes to him being a Diversity Dad.

"(Diversity) is so ambiguous and means so much to so many different people"

Watching his son grow up to be the man he's become is one of the things that has Nate most excited about being a dad. His son finished in the top 1% for SAT scores, as well as being an All-American in track.

"There's no one thing I'm most excited about. Just the journey itself has been phenomenal."

He says one of the proudest moments he's had as a dad is when his son ran a track meet at 8 years old, and won. After the race, he ran off the track and hopped into Nate's arms.

"My proudest moment, I suppose, is just him being born and having the opportunity to be a father"

Nate developed an intricate study system based on neuroscience and other things such as nutrition, to help his son succeed.

"I've always felt responsible for his success and I've always felt to blame for his failure"

He says it's his role to make sure his son has the right tools to navigate life.

"Whenever he needs me to help him avoid a pitfall or minefield, that's what I do"

With his GPS System, Nate does a process called "backward design." He asks parents a first set of questions involving what their hopes and dreams are for their children, and then ones involved parent's engagement. This will determine a two-part score, with a probability index of how likely it is their children will reach their goals.

"Any score of less than 100%, we help the parent with a roadmap to help them get there"

His biggest obstacle has just been not being like his own father.

"I just worry about consistently being his father every day and the other stuff I just don't worry about"

Nate believes that nothing will happen by accident. If you want a great relationship with your kids, you'll have to plan for it. To do this himself, Nate wrote a pledge consisting of 10 things.

His one piece of advice to other parents is to just enjoy every single moment of the journey.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.RaisingSupaman.com

https://www.facebook.com/RaisingSupaman/?fref=ts

@Supamans_Dad (Instagram)

Janet Lansbury – Show Notes

Janet Lansbury is a renowned author, with a new book recently published called "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame." She is a parenting teacher, a lecturer and she has over 20 years of experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers.

Janet says that the concept for her book comes from the recognition that children are born as whole people.

"They're not bad seeds that we have to turn into good plants"

She felt compelled to write the book and says children need guides as they're going to experiment will all sorts of behaviors.

"Your ultimate goal is having a respectful, trusting, close relationship with your child"

By telling kids that they are bad, they will end up acting uncomfortably in the relationship, which Janet says won't help them.

She has three children, and when she first gave birth, she thought it would be natural and her instincts would just take over. She ended up finding herself surprised and overwhelmed.

"I realized I needed some kind of framework, of structure"

She heard about the RIE Approach, founded by Magda Gerber. She went to one of the classes and found it made sense, and it made her enjoy parenting so much more.

She started training with Magda Gerber and teaching her methods, which allowed her to be in a classroom with parents. By doing this, Janet was able to see how they interacted with their children.

"It's an incredible way of learning that really can't be matched. There was nothing like this experience."

Janet believes that it comes down to how we perceive our children. She went from seeing her baby as someone that needed to be provided for to someone that was interesting on her own. She wanted to learn more about her baby, and her passions.

The RIE Approach creates spaces that are safe for children, where they can do what they want. She calls this a "Yes" space.

This provides a chance to develop the most ideal parent-child relationship.

"(As parents) we have a lot of power; so we get to really work on ourselves here."

Janet shares that there has been a shift over the past 5 years, with more dads attending her classes and some of her classes being made up entirely of men.

"Know that your job is to be a leader in terms of behaviour and what you're going to let your kids do"

She says that toddlers often push limits. It's a time when children are making a huge step in their own development, towards being more separate from their parents in terms of how they think about themselves.

Janet believes that it's actually very healthy, as they are trying to be their own person.

"You've got to keep reminding yourself, there's always a reason (they're acting a certain way). It's always healthy for them to get it out of their bodies."

Her books are a collection of over 400 articles she's written for her website in the past 6 years.

The biggest challenge she faced was being attacked by others when she first started writing.

"I don't like that people are saying mean things but I still believe in this. In a way, it gives you more confidence in yourself."

Janet's goal with her articles is just to help others, and make their lives easier.

"When I write just to help, it's really hard for people to argue with it"

Her husband edits her articles, and Janet says that they get along better because they work together.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.JanetLansbury.com

https://www.facebook.com/janetlansburyElevatingChildCare

*Janet also hosts her own podcast, "Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled"

Tanel Jappinen – Show Notes

Tanel Jappinen, also known as "TJ', is the proud husband and new father to a baby girl that just turned one year old. He's the host of the Brave New Father podcast, which is #1 on iTunes in the Kids & Family category.

Originally from Europe, TJ was recruited for a sales internship in his second year of university to come to the United States. In this role, while he held for 11 years, he sold educational books to families. During his time with the company, he met face-to-face with over 20,000 families.

"I got to know the families, their priorities and what their goals are"

He says the families he met with had all kinds of different backgrounds, including rich and poor.

"The most inspiring families that I had a chance to meet with were the ones that really lived their family life intentionally. They knew what their values were and they structured their life around them."

TJ considers himself a Diversity Dad because he's new to fatherhood and just trying to figure things out himself.

Being a Millennial himself, it's very encouraging to read how this generation of dads is suppose to change the core of parenting styles.

"A lot of the dads I know do have the intent to be a lot more involved than their parents were"

For a big part of his baby's life, he says he worked "crazy" hours, often totalling over 70 per week. Four months ago, he decided to leave this job and stay home with his daughter.

TJ discovered that it wasn't easy to stay at home, as the need to chase his career goals and provide for his family was so ingrained in him. Needing to do something else, besides staying at home, he decided to start the podcast and share his own fatherhood journey with others.

He feels that seeing his daughter's most primal human emotions playing out, without filters, has been the most exciting part of being a dad. He says she's been able to express her own wants and needs, in her own way.

"It's kind of like a learning experience for her, and us as well. She really doesn't have any hidden agendas to her actions. She's as pure as can be."

His biggest challenge has been learning that it takes a lot of patience to work with little ones, and things don't always go to plan.

"It's still tough. I'm reminded of these challenges everyday, but I haven't had any days without being thankful that I have this tiny human being in my life."

He says that quitting his job and becoming more comfortable with his sensitive side have been his proudest moments of being a dad.

TJ has never considered himself an emotional guy, but says that something changed when he first heard his daughter's heartbeat during an ultrasound.

"It's important to be vulnerable as a parent, especially as a dad"

His biggest obstacle was getting the courage to leave his job to stay home.

"I think the fact that I had the courage to make this step for my family, makes me feel good about my own fatherhood journey. Becoming a parent changes your goals and your dreams."

One piece of advice he can give is to take care of yourself and the relationship with your spouse. He shares that at times, he and his wife haven't prioritized their own relationship.

"I think it does start with the man in the mirror. Just taking the responsibility and focusing on things I feel are important"

"It takes conscious effort to come through and show up as a husband as well"

"I strongly believe that one of the biggest things that dads can do for their kids, is to love their mother unconditionally"

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.BrandNewFather.com

www.Facebook.com/BrandNewFather

@BrandNewFather (Twitter)

Trevor Mulligan – Show Notes

Trevor Mulligan is the blogger extraordinaire who created One Stay at Home Dad. He is also the co-organizer of a Los Angeles dads group, and a proud husband and father with two sons.

Trevor considers himself more of a storyteller than a writer. He says he got this gift from listening to his own father tell stories around the campfire.

"Storytelling helps connect people"

From attending different dad events and meeting new people, he's discovering now that he is a connector.

"It's the connections we make with other people in our world right now; that excites me"

Trevor considers himself a diversity dad as he quit his job 5 years ago to stay at home, which is against what society considers normal.

"I just basically broke the rules that society has somehow put in place"

He says this doesn't matter to him, and all that is important is that he does what's best for himself, his wife and his family.

Trevor is learning every day and says that parenthood is like a "rollercoaster."

He says that the quality of time you spend with your kids is more important than the quantity of time you're with them.

"It's important for us to do what makes us happy. That's what's going to be projected down to our kids."

He's part of multiple Facebook groups, which makes up a large community of dads. A few years ago, someone asked him to be on a television interview, which led to a member of a New York Dads group approaching him about starting a Los Angeles chapter. The LA group now has over 500 members.

"It's an amazing connection with other dads that are in the same boat that you are in"

The one thing that has excited Trevor most as a dad is being able to see the world through his sons' eyes. By doing this, he says that he is rediscovering an innocence that he lost years ago.

His proudest moment was hearing his oldest son tell his younger brother "you'll never know if you can, unless you try."

Everything Trevor does as a stay at home dad, he credits his wife for, as she's provided for the family. She also encouraged him to join his first dads group.

His oldest son has been surfing since he was 2.5 years old.

"If you can find something that they love to do, let them do it"

His mantra, and one that he tells his sons, is:

"If you want to get better at anything, you have to practice"

Trevor's biggest obstacle has been his own patience, which he says he is working on everyday.

"To be able to slow down and not only enjoy the moments, but to go at their pace"

His advice to parents is to be present when they are with their children.

"Get on their level. Be in their moment. Be present in what they're doing."

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.oneSAHD.com

www.Facebook/oneSAHD.com Twitter: @oneSAHD Instagram: oneSAHD

Dr. Michelle Watson – Show Notes (Diversity Dad)

Dr. Michelle Watson is the author of "Dad, Here's What I Really Need from You". She's the founder of The Abba Project, a ministry formed to help dads connect to their daughters' hearts. She earned her BS in Biblical Education and also attended Lewis & Clark College in Oregon. She maintains a full-time counselling practice and also speaks on the body image, faith, healing and relationships.

Dr. Watson's passion over the past 6 years has been to come alongside father with daughters in between the ages of 13 and 30.

"I'm helping dads to decode their daughters. It's my joy, passion and delight to do that."

In 2009, Dr. Watson was reading her bible and came across the story of Zachariah, who's son John was told he'd turn the hearts of fathers to their children.

"Right then, I got the sense that what was I was suppose to do; to help dads do that."

In January 2010, she wrote an email to 11 dads who's daughters she was counselling, asking them to join her once a month for 6 months to see if there was a way to change their father/daughter relationship. All of the fathers, except one, replied and committed to it. She's now in her 7th group, and more dads are approaching her for continued help.

Dr. Watson gives the following steps to become "dialled in" as a dad:

1. Take action (inviting each kid out on a minimum once a month one-on-one date)

1. Be the man you want her to marry (think long-term)

1. Be consistent

She says that a dad almost always has the time to spend with his daughter, but is making choices that don't have her as a priority. She reminds listeners that we all have the same amount of time in a day.

Dr. Watson advises that dads ask for help from their spouses, if needed, when feeling confused or lost in their relationships with their daughters.

"You're a partnership at the core. Just know that your daughter needs your strength. She needs you through the course of her whole life."

It can go a long way if a father can admit failure.

"We actually think more of you when you can admit human failure"

Dr. Watson shares that getting angry can crush a child's spirit. Her one piece of advice for dads is to drop the anger.

"More damage happens when disciplining in anger"

Every Friday, Dr. Watson writes a blog for dads and daughters, which can also be applicable to dads with sons (see "Interview Links" for website details)

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.drmichellewatson.com

www.Facebook.com/DrMichelleWatson

@MWatsonPHD (Twitter)

Self-Episode #1 – Social Media & Parenting

Social media is the wave of the future, and by embracing it, parents can find further ways to connect with their children. In this episode of Diversity Dad, we explore the world of social media and how it relates to parenting!

The Internet is fairly new, but coming into its own as far as the tools available and what can be done with it. This is particularly true with social media.

Mothers and fathers that previously didn't want to get on social media are now on Facebook, while kids are starting to leave Facebook for "new and fresh" platforms like Snapchat.

How can we as parents, connect with our children through social media?

1) Be realistic with where you're at

Make sure you can navigate the computer. To learn more about the various social media platforms, you can search YouTube for "how to" videos.

"It's just educating yourself on what's out there, and asking how I can get better"

2) Understand that your child may not want you on social media

As a parent, you need to have that conversation and your children know that you want to be a connected parent. Don't track everything they do, but "heart", "like" and "retweet" their posts. By doing so, you will strengthen your relationship with them. However, it's important to lay down certain ground rules so that the privacy of your children is maintained.

3) Ride the wave of social media

Snapchat was created in 2011 and now has over 100 million active users.

"(Snapchat) is fun, innovative and really speaks to how life is. You just really capture moments."

The Diversity Dad Resource Series Part 2, focuses on dads facing challenges such as divorce, and how to deal with certain situations. We will do so by featuring stories from actual dads.

"This is our podcast; you are all the highlight of this podcast. We want to make sure we are really focusing on how to help you all get better with your life."

Sometimes it's easier said than done to spend more time with your kids due to the demands of today. It's challenging, but us as fathers need to make sure we spend enough time with our kids.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

http://thebabyspot.ca/the-evolution-of-snapchat-and-parenting-by-jamal-chukueke/

Website – www.diversitydad.com

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: www.Facebook.com/DiversityDad

Twitter- @diversitydad

Instagram – @diversitydad

SnapChat – Jama'l Chukueke – diversity dad

Periscope- @DiversityDad

Vanessa Merten – Show Notes

Vanessa Merten is the fabulous host of the Pregnancy Podcast, which talks about the process of a mother carrying a child for 9 months. She shares with listeners the steps to follow during, and after, the pregnancy, and is a first-time mom herself to a beautiful 16 month old boy.

When she was expecting, Vanessa and her husband were having a tough time finding great resources with information on pregnancy.

"(Our podcast) is the resource that we wish we would have had when we were expecting"

She had some really good friends in the podcast world to help her with her show. It was a challenge to find the time, but she made an effort to work on the show at nights when her baby went to bed. Little by little, the show came together and she was able to launch it.

Vanessa shares that so much focus is on moms, that dads don't get a lot of attention. Still, she says that they are a key part of a pregnancy as they offer support from "Day 1", when the couple discovers they're pregnant.

"It can be a challenge to make sure you communicate and get on the same page. You really are a team."

Vanessa currently works at her 9-5 job while her husband stays home with their son. It's been challenging for her to leave her baby during the day, but she is glad he gets to spend time with his dad.

"If I can't be there, that's definitely my next choice"

It's been challenging for her husband as well, as she says that fathers usually don't have as strong of a bond, that innate connection, with their child that mothers do.

Fear of the unknown is common amongst new fathers. Vanessa recommends doing as much research as possible to make the process of becoming a father less scary.

Vanessa feels that it takes "a village" to raise a child. She's lucky to have great friends and family that have helped her.

"We try to be so independent today, but you really need to ask for help if you need it"

Her and her husband join support groups, but took a birth class that they found very helpful.

While in the delivery room, dads just have to be there, and be present, by helping their partner in any way that they can. Once home, this help should continue. Vanessa's husband changed almost every diaper for the first week out of the hospital.

Her one piece of advice to new parents, or soon to be parents, is:

"Just know that everything will work out. It can be so stressful, but you and your partner are going to find solutions. You're not going to have everything figured out overnight."

Vanessa is releasing a podcast episode specifically for dads on December 13th.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.PregnancyPodcast.com

* Vanessa is also on Facebook, Instagram, Google+ and Twitter (@PregPodcast)

Jennifer Jordan – Show Notes

Jennifer K. Jordan is a California-based author with a passion for celebrating the spiritual in our daily lives and educating others. She has worked as a writer and teacher and holds dual Master's Degrees in Education and School Counselling. As a huge advocate of equal parenting for dads, Jennifer spent many years searching for and interviewing the fathers of Dadly Wisdom, her book which presents a positive image of the active dad. She now offers their powerful stories in this transformative book of love, joy and inspiration.

Jennifer says her motivation for writing her book was her own dad. When her mother passed away in 1998, she got to know her father in a whole new way.

"I came to really appreciate his wisdom as a father"

She was already a writer, and starting asking people if they knew wise dads not only in her locally, but also in other states, for her book about fathers. Jennifer ended up interviewing 100 fathers, and chose 52 to appear in the book.

Most of the dads she spoke with were older, and she got a sense that to acquire wisdom, life experience is needed. She says the most common characteristic was that they were extremely humble.

"They were just going about their business; feeling called to the responsibility of being a dad."

Jennifer also says many of them were service-oriented, not just with their family, but with their community. In addition to this trait, many were men of faith and had an optimistic spirit.

She believes that no one had ever asked them how it felt to be a dad.

"They really love their families and want to talk. I don't feel like they're given much invitation to do that in life."

Jennifer noticed that her own dad became much more vulnerable after her mother passed away, and they shared on a much different level as a result.

"I think our relationship was enhanced. We got to know each other as people."

The main thing she wants readers to take away from the book is that dads are not alone. She hopes fathers will learn from the stories in the book, as the men interviewed were from many different walks of life. She believes it will help them become even better dads and gain more wisdom about life in general. Finally, she feels that men will have more courage to speak out about their feelings.

"I'm hopeful (the book) will inspire (dads) to be more intentional about passing on their wisdom. That's invaluable."

Jennifer says that it's not society's norm for dads to share their feelings, and it takes a lot of strength for them to realize that sharing won't take away from their manhood.

Her biggest challenge in writing the book was the sheer magnitude of the project. Project co-ordination was difficult, as the fathers were in other states and countries, and had to approve the final draft. It took one busy dad 8 months to approve his part of the book.

"I was committed to what I was doing, and willing to wait. It was all worth it."

Jennifer also says that cold calls were often hard to make, as well as interviewing prominent men.

"They were still dads; they just love their kids and wanted to share. No matter how successful they were, being a dad was far more important."

To support dads, mothers can "step out of the way." Talking to them about how they feel about being a father and celebrating them for taking care of the family as well is important.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

http://www.jenniferkarinjordan.com/

@JKJWisdomSeries