Diversity Dad podcast - Helping dads to "buck conventionally" and celebrate doing fatherhood differently.

Kevin Renner – Show Notes

In this installment of the Diversity Dad Resource Series, Jama'l talks with Kevin Renner. Kevin interviewed over 50 women worldwide for his book, "In Search of Fatherhood." He received his social science degree from the University of California, as well as an MBA. While attending post-graduate school, he lived with over 600 women and men from around the world at an international house. He was previously in marketing for start up companies, as well as successful global companies. Kevin has an interest in cross-cultural perspectives, which has given him the opportunity to work throughout Europe, as well as Asia.

Kevin had the idea to write his book when his daughters were 9 and 13 years old. He realized that although men learn a lot from childhood to adolescence to adulthood, nowhere are they taught how to raise a little girl into womanhood.

"Here's the most important thing we have to do, and it's the thing that we're the least equipped in"

He struggled himself with the issue and was told that if he wanted to learn how to be a father, especially to young girls, he'd have to go talk with women.

"Every woman, is by definition, a daughter"

Kevin originally began speaking with women that he was friends with about how their lives were shaped by their fathers. He then decided to expand to outside of his social circle, to women around the globe. He spoke with people from 19 different countries, from ages 20 to 90, from CEOs and Supreme Court judges to marginalized and homeless women.

"Their stories formed the basis of what became a real interesting adventure for me personally"

He found cultural differences between the women, but says that at a psychological level, the similarities are substantially greater than the differences. Kevin states that despite whatever culture a daughter is born into, the human needs are universal in that daughters crave the attention and acceptance of their parents.

"If the father is not there, his absence has the most profound impact on the life of his daughter"

The lessons are learned in the stories they share, according to Kevin. This can be either by the heroic, or the horrific, nature of their fathers. The stories made Kevin aware of his interactions with his own daughters.

"Every time you do something with your daughter, it affirms in her that she is interesting and worthy of your time."

The biggest obstacle that Kevin encountered was when one of his daughters went through a stage of deep, emotional turmoil. The lesson he took from his book, to help him with this, was to never give up on her.

His favourite chapter involved his 6th grade girlfriend that he tracked down in Las Vegas. Originally, she wasn't receptive to speaking with him about his book. When he approached her 9 months later, she explained that her father was abusive, and she realized that it did shape her life (she had barely finished high school, worked as a stripper, married five husbands and was addicted to drugs, as well as making two suicide attempts). The abuse from her father led to her own self-loathing and self-hatred. Years later, her father told her that she loved him, and she developed the most loving relationship with her father in her 50's. Kevin titled this chapter of her book as "The Resurrection", and her forgiveness "floored" him.

"The big lesson is that no matter what, you're going to make mistakes as a father. Some of them will be profound, but failure is not falling down, failure is staying down."

Kevin's biggest advice to fathers is to have deep conversations with your daughters and listen, probe and try to understand them.

INTERVIEW LINK:

www.Kevin-Renner.com

Christos Pittis – Show Notes

Christos Pittis is a social marketing extraordinaire. He offers the social marketing services that he provides through Fiverr. He's also working on a start-up, which looks to expand and build a more scalable model of that website. He has two kids; a 7-year old daughter and a 5-year old son. Some of the activities that he enjoys most are walking, playing football and travelling.

Christos grew up in Cyprus, Greek and still maintains a residence there, as well as working in London, England.

With Fiverr, he started by offering $5 services and expanded to $10 and $20 ones. Now he's looking to expand his sales funnel and is in the process of rebuilding his website and social media tools to include more content such as videos, downloadable material and podcasts.

He enjoys working from home because he loves his kids and wants to spend as much time as possible with them. The most important thing to Christos is maintaining a proper work/life balance. He works on Fiverr for 4 to 5 hours a day, and spends the rest of his time at home with his family.

"I think a Diversity Dad is someone who keeps the balance with family and work"

Christos says he's not afraid to fail and to make mistakes, which separates him from a lot of other people.

"I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but that's the reason why I am here today"

He's trying to learn new things everyday and develop different ways of social marketing. With his first Fiverr gig, he changed the post description 20 times, while checking the analytics and reports to see the results of each change.

"It's important to stay in front of the technology and the trends"

The one thing that excites him the most about being a dad is teaching his kids what he knows. Christos has his daughter watch him whenever he creates an Instagram photo. It not only shows his kids how to use technology, but also allows them to spend time together.

He's most proud of his children doing well in school and helping other kids do the same.

His biggest obstacle has been working too much and having multiple jobs, although he is trying his best to avoid this and spend lots of quality time with his wife and kids.

His one piece of advice to fathers is to have your kids understand the purpose of life and for them to set high goals for their lives. He wants his own kids to be good people, help others and to give love.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.ChristosPittis.com

@CPittis (Twitter)

Hogan Hilling –Show Notes

Hogan Hilling is a father of three and a nationally recognized author who has published 8 books regarding fatherhood. This has led him to create the "Dadly Series."

Hogan was also invited to the Oprah Winfrey Show to talk about being an at-home dad with his disabled son. He is also creating the "Dadly Rally" which gathers dads to talk about fatherhood. Hogan believes he is a Diversity Dad because of a number of reasons. His single mother raised him, after his parents divorced when he was two years old. He moved from Brazil to the Netherlands with his mom and brother, and reunited with his own father after 27 years of separation. Hogan is a dad of a child with special needs, Wesley, and went through a divorce after 25 years of marriage. As a father advocate, he says he has worked with almost every type of father there is.

"I've had a wealth of experience and a wealth of supportive dads in my social circle"

Hogan believes the biggest challenge he has had is fighting the stigma that our culture has created about men being inept, irresponsible and incompetent parents.

He's had financial struggles due to the large medical bills for his son, as well as the emotional challenge faced when people didn't see his son as a human being. Hogan says his son has taught him a lot about life.

"Embrace the special gift your child has, and support the passion that they have for the life that they want to live"

He believes the community embraced him because of his attitude towards Wesley.

"I asked for them to embrace him not because they had to, but because they wanted to being mindful about spending time with all of his kids is the one thing that he is most excited about making every second and minute I spent with my kids count.'

"Hogan says he looks at fatherhood through the eyes of his children."

"That's the part of being mindful; nothing else matters. One of the things I feel best about as a father, is on my deathbed, I'll never say that I wish I spent more time with my kids."

Appearing on Oprah was one of his proudest moments because he got the opportunity to share his parent experience with others. Hogan never dreamt of being an author, but says it just fell in his lap.

Every day he would write in his journal about a happy moment, or something he learned from his kids. Someone suggested he turn his writings into a book. He believes that parents unfortunately tend to focus on the negative aspects of being a parent, because they feel that without drama, they're not normal.

"People are so engrossed in the challenges of raising a child, and not looking at the joys."

"His one piece of advice is that people set their ego aside, and ask for help from others dads."

"If you'd like a father-friendly environment, act like a friendly father, especially to other dads."

The Dadly Rally is debuting in Marc 2016 (Los Angeles), but they Hogan and his partners want to go nationwide within 5 years (see INTERVIEW LINKS). The people involved want to leave a better parenting legacy for kids.

INTERVIEW LINKS

www.DadlyRally.com

[email protected] (Email)

Appearing on Oprah was one of his proudest moments because he got the opportunity to share his parent experience with others. Hogan never dreamt of being an author, but says it just Dz fell in his lap. dz Every day he would write in his journal about a happy moment, or something he learned from his kids. Someone suggested he turn his writings into a book. He believes that parents unfortunately tend to focus on the negative aspects of be ing a parent, because they feel that without drama, they ' re not Dz normal. dz Dz People are so engrossed in the challenges of raising a child, and not lookin g at the joys dz His one piece of advice is that people set their ego aside, and ask for help f rom others dads. Dz If you ' d like a father-friendly environment, act like a friendly father, especially to other dads dz The Dadly Rally is debuting in Marc 2016 (Los Angeles), but they Hogan and his partners want to go nationwide within 5 years (see INTERVIEW LINKS). The people involved want to leave a better parenting legacy for kids. INTERVIEW LINKS www.DadlyRally.com [email protected] (email)

Steve Rodgers –Show Notes

Steve Rodgers is a consultant, business and lifestyle coach, as well as an author. He has his own academy, the "Alchemy Advisors", which trains and helps businesses thrive. He loves yoga, Kung Fu, self-improvement and exploring new things. Steve has been married 25 years and has two children. Steve was an executive in a real estate company for many years. For the last 5 years, he ran his own real estate business in San Diego, with 400 agents and 8 offices. He made a life change last year after his wife had a major health crisis during a surgery. As well, he found he was losing his passion for the real estate industry, and in the last year has re-invented himself both in terms of business, and his health.

"I'm taking my skills and background, utilizing them in a new way for

entrepreneurs. I'm excited about this new path I'm on."

Steve's wife had two children from her previous marriage, and he believes being

their step dad has made him a Diversity Dad. He shares that they found a way to blend together, despite the different dynamics. Within the first 5 to 10 minutes of meeting his wife, he knew he was going to marry her and felt they had a "soul connection."

"He believes that being part of someone else growing, and watching them evolve, is

the most important piece of being a dad."

"Realize you're on a journey with someone, besides just your spouse."

"Moments that stand out for him include his son winning a global Internet contest at

the age of 16, and his daughter getting married and being able to walk her down the aisle."

"Even though I'm not their biological dad, they have grown to look at me as their

Dad."

"The biggest obstacle for Steve and his kids were navigating the teenage years."

When kids are spreading their wings and testing boundaries, that's always a really

challenging time.

Steve feels that kids need discipline, but you also have to give them great memories that don't just involve money (camping trips, taking them to the movies, etc.)There were times that the children reminded Steve that he wasn't their real dad, but he didn't take it personally.

His one piece of advice to Diversity Dads is to lead by example, no matter what age

the kids are.

"They really watch what you do, not what you say. Set that example yourself

and live that life yourself."

Steve's new book, "Lead to Gold: An Entrepreneur's Journey through Transition and

Transformation is launching in early 2016.

INTERVIEW LINKS

www.SteveRodgersBlog.com

www.TheAlchemyAdvisors.com

Mashup Episode – Show Notes In this episode of Diversity Dad, Jama'l takes excerpts from past episodes of 2015, sharing quotes from his guests and adding his own insights to help listeners be the best they can be, in fatherhood and life. Bolaji O., is the CEO of Bravepreneur Parents Academy. He shares with listeners the wisdom of Steve Jobs, where he explains that by looking forward, it's very difficult to know the stepping stones to your destination. However, by looking backwards at the events and experiences in your life, you're able to see how everything that has happened actually "connects the dots" and gets you to where you are presently, and are heading. Jay Forte of the Greatness Zone stresses the importance of being aware of who you are. He says that it's a requirement for all of us to get comfortable with this and recommends that we created a "personal board of directors" ;people who care and love you – period. Michael Anthony Duncan pulls a lesson from The Cosby Show, and talks about an episode where Bill Cosby helps a new dad. To do so, he tells the new father "whatever you do, you're going to be a hero to your kid." This serves as a reminder to do your best, at all times, and don't worry if you're not perfect. Cedric Hameed says his biggest obstacle as a dad is wondering if he could actually do it or not. He says that not having enough examples of strong fatherhood, and information, gave him a feeling of security that he had to overcome.

Malik Jones – Show Notes

Malik Jones is a freelance artist, art instructor and devoted father of two wonderful children, ages 9 and 6. He currently resides in Philadelphia, Pa.

Malik has a degree in social work and has been employed in the mental health field for over 13 years. Art has always been a passion of his, and he has dove deeper into it as it allows him to be more in tune as a father and spend more time with his kids. He's currently working on creating an after school program and summer camp, and his ultimate goal is to open an arts school.

He says that the public school system in his city is going through a lot of turmoil, with art being subject to program cuts.

"One of the common components of a good school is a balance of education and arts"

Malik feels so strongly about this that he holds a workshop at the local recreation center every Tuesday and Thursday.

"Art gave me an incentive to go to school"

Malik loves being a father and says it's the best thing that he has experienced in his life. He's always looking for better ways to be a dad, and improve his kids life (by teaching them poems, about culture, etc.) which he says makes him a Diversity Dad.

He grew up on welfare with his siblings and single mother. His peers were selling drugs and committing robberies. He realized it wasn't for him and he had art and football to keep him out of trouble.

"I was able to break away from all that and see a broader frame of life"

Malik became a social worker because it was the only thing in college that he connected with. As a child, he knew what it was like for social workers to come into the home, and he was familiar with counselling, as he had attended anger management sessions.

Malik became a father figure for his younger brothers, by teaching his younger brothers football skills and other life lessons. This paid off when two of them received full scholarships to play the sport. One of his brother's currently plays professionally in the NFL, with the Cleveland Browns.

He has his kids at least once a month, as they live with their mother (Malik's ex) in Pittsburgh. He also has them on alternate holidays, as well as for two months during the summer.

When with his children, Malik is very hands on and instils values in them.

"Our relationship is awesome. It came out of fear of losing them."

"I just made sure that in the time I had them, I did the best job as a parent that I could possibly do"

As much as he hated it at the time, it was the best move for them to live with their mother as he said it as a better environment.

His proudest moment of being a dad is the one that he realized he was really a father. He's proud when he sees his kids following the rules they agreed upon and self-disciplining themselves. When this happens, he says he knows he did something right in raising them, and he's constantly working to be an even better father.

Malik embraces the challenges that come he way, and he says the biggest obstacle he faced came during the court battle with this ex.

"It was very daunting and difficult, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. It made me a better man and a better person."

His one piece of advice for parents is to "just be there", because if you do, your kids will never forget.

INTERVIEW LINKS:

[email protected]

@medanmalik (Instagram)

Troy Miles–Show Notes Troy Miles is an artist, speaker, basketball trainer and author of "The Virtual Game of Basketball", which highlights the martial arts of basketball. He considers himself as a "beyond profiteer", means he gives priceless contributions to people, places and things. Troy's passion lives in continuous quality improvements and cooking, and he's the proud father of two young men. Troy considers basketball to a "martial art", due to the math, physics and fundamentals of the game itself. "The mission is to be machine-like across all your skill sets; your technical, application and focus factors. Troy came up with this concept while recovering from an injured Achilles tendon and coaching basketball to kids. It was then that he learned how powerful the strategy of movement actually was. "I saw myself as a highly physical person before my injury, but now I'm more of a net-physical person, which means your prowess is now based on net outcomes. It's all about being the best player, without being the most physical. "The most powerful aspect of the virtual game is the programming, or skill acquisition, aspect. Troy considers this the "brain game". Mastering this can help people in any area of their lives. Being a father of two bi-racial children is what Troy says makes him a Diversity Dad. "It takes a certain type of social dexterity to make it work" When his boys were 9 and 7, Troy and his wife separated, and came up with a very uncommon co-parenting plan of one-week on, and one-week off, with the kids. He says that being away from his children for a week at a time was the tough of co-parenting, although when they were together it gave him the opportunity to try different things such as cooking and reading them stories. "It forced me into a higher expression of myself as a parent. I wouldn't trade it for the world." Discovering his children's personalities, likes, dislikes and fears were the most exciting thing about being a dad to Troy. "The discovery starts immediately, and it just never stops; I'm looking forward to the next stages".

His proudest moment was when he realized he had raised good people. Troy's biggest obstacle was the separation with his wife. Along with the boys, who were 12 and 10 at the time, she relocated to San Diego for over a year. "There were a lot of tears on my pillow. That was just tough. It didn't break the connection or bond though, it just put space in it all. "He advises parents to encourage their kids to seek and find their passions, and help them to identify them if needed." I really believe every person has some special skill set. The key is to be able to discover it. "Both of his kids have found their passions, one in music (see Interview Links) and the other in business and wealth building. INTERVIEW LINKS: www.StraightOutTheCD.com www.VirtualGameOfBasketball.com www.Facebook.com/VirtualPlayer www.Facebook.com/TroyMilesArt www.SeaOfMercury.com (Troy's son's band) www.XavierMilesMusic.com

Jim Palmer – Show Notes (Diversity Dad) Jim Palmer is an entrepreneur, speaker and coach. He is the founder of Dream Biz Academy and Dream Business Coaching and Mastermind Program. He's also the host of Stick Like Glue Radio, a weekly podcast based on Jim's unique brand of smart marketing and business building strategies. He's internationally known to be "The Newsletter Guru"and creator of No Hassle Newsletters, the ultimate "done-for-you "newsletter-marketing program. Jim just celebrated 14 years as an entrepreneur, and it was about 6 years ago that he transitioned to the online world. Before he started his businesses, he was unemployed for about 15 months. Around this time, he was also diagnosed with cancer. "With clarity of hindsight, I call that my season of crisis" Certain benefits came with this period of unemployment, as his three kids learned lessons from this time. "They knew that if they wanted something, they had to earn money for it; it's a life lesson that's stuck with them for a long time." When a person loses a job, particularly a man, Jim says they lose a piece of their identity. "When you're unemployed, it really wreaks havoc on your self esteem" One of Jim's children is now an entrepreneur. "They watch how you bounce back and how you handle things" Faith had helped Jim recovery from his season of crisis. "I really got on my knees and begged for guidance. I asked what I was suppose to do with my life." His wife encouraged him to be a support group for people that were unemployed, if not to help himself, to encourage others. He went and continued going after he started his business, to pay it back. "We're here to help serve each other, that's what entrepreneurship is. You're in business to serve people"

Rodney Kellum – Show Notes (Diversity Dad)

Rodney Kellum is a former workaholic turned fatherpreneur. He's focused on helping parents start and automate their business for the purpose of helping them become more present and engaging with their children. Rodney also loves spending quality time with his family, as well as occasionally playing pickup basketball on the weekends.

Rodney was raised to believe a man should go to work and provide for his family, almost dying at the job. He learned this from his hard working father and grandfather. When he became a father himself, he decided to do all it took as well, which actually was his detriment.

"That way to work was wrong; the idea you have to go to work at a place all day and your kids get one percent of your time is no longer necessary"

It took some life altering moments and threatening situations for Rodney to change this thinking on "work".

"In reality, I wasn't doing what was best for my family"

In 2008, he achieved what he thought was his dream job, by becoming a video editor. The position was very demanding, but he says the accomplishment blinding him to what was really going on. One day, he couldn't stand and had severe chest pains, and discovered his left artery was closing.

"If I were to have died at that point, I would have left my family with literally nothing. My son would have known me as a hard worker, and that would be it."

Around that time, while watching his son in the evening, he was asked to go into work to do a task that could be done from home, online. Rodney refused as was let go the next day.

"It showed me I could choose my son"

Rodney feels that the most exciting thing about being a dad is getting to be part of someone's life forever, and to guide them to be the type of person that God wants them to be.

"(Being a father) almost allows you to have a second childhood through their eyes"

"Everyday is exciting because you don't know what's going to happen"

When he first held his son at the hospital, he made a promise that he would always be there, always love him and do whatever it takes to provide the best life possible.

Rodney feels the biggest obstacle he had to overcome in becoming a dad was his own mindset. He had to experience those multiple dramatic events in his life to make the decision to change the way he thought.

"When we become providers for our family, it's hard to open up to another way of doing things"

"Until you get to the point where you decide you want to change, any other step you make doesn't matter. Once things get uncomfortable, you're going to go back to your safe zone.

He recommends that fathers look at the starting line, not the finish line. Start with the decision, then make one small step at a time to reach your goal.

Rodney's advice to Diversity Dads: "Choose everyday to be present and engaged. If you lived and parented every day like it would be your last, how would you do things differently? Do that. You are your son's example of manhood. Even though you think he's not paying attention, as he grows older, the things he saw you do or not do, are going to be the things he does or doesn't do…"

INTERVIEW LINKS:

www.Fatherpreneurship.com (blog, articles & resources)

@Fatherpreneur (Twitter)

[email protected] (email)

Jay Forte – Show Notes (Diversity Dad) Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and certified workplace and life coach. He hosts a podcast for parents called "Get Your Kids Ready For Life". He helps parents learn how to guide, support and coach their kids so they can discover, develop and live who they really are. Jay is also a gay man and a father of three children. He knows the values of being heard and respected, and is inspired to help every child feel valuable and important for whom they are. Jay is an avid writer, gardener and cook, residing in sunny Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Jay grew up in a white, middle class family, never thinking of himself becoming a diversity dad. He spent most of his life pretending not to be the gay kid in a big Italian family. He had three daughters and was married for 10 years before he had to be honest about his sexual orientation. "I realized what it's like when the world shuns you and points its finger at you." He spent a number of years being an average parent before boldly stepping into who he was. When he did that, his parenting completely changed, along with his outlook on life. "That's why I do what I do. Everyone should feel valued and significant". Jay considers himself a Diversity Dad, in that he is a gay dad trying to raise kids with a lot of expectations, and pressures about how to be what is considered a real dad. "The diversity part of it is embracing who it is and what is unique and amazing about us." "If life changes, just stay consistent to what you do, which is love your kids. Pretty soon, the world starts to catch up and allows you to be who you really are." He reminds us that kids are a work in progress, not perfect, and there's something remarkable in that. "Our job is to help them figure out how they fit in today's world." His biggest realization is he had nothing to be ashamed of in regards to who he is. "The ability to coach somebody into showing up big and discovering their purpose is what excites him most about being a dad." "Deep in us, we're so connected to our kids, and the wish for them to be successful, happy and responsible" Jay's proudest moment about being a dad include walking his two daughters down the aisle when they got married. "It's the moment where everyone focuses on you, and the work you've done, to get them ready to move on in life. There aren't words for it." "His biggest obstacle in being a dad has been in accepting his own identity." "Your own voice is true; you should listen to it, trust it and follow it" His advice to others is to be authentic, which opens up the opportunity for everything else to happen. "If you play small, you short change yourself and you short change the world". INTERVIEW LINKS: www.Ready4Life.me [email protected] (email)