"Yelling is not a consequence. It's the avoidance of a consequence." - Gary Edelstein

Gary Edelstein, a seasoned psychotherapist specializing in neuropsychology and family systems, is dedicated to advancing a collaborative co-parenting model. He underscores the importance of maintaining a unified front in parenting, particularly when children experience emotional, psychological, or neurodevelopmental challenges. Edelstein advocates for parents to establish consistent discipline rules across households' post-divorce, which he believes can prevent the polarization of parental perspectives and reduce conflict. By promoting collaboration based on neurocognitive principles, Edelstein aims to lower the emotional tone in households and support healthier relationships, ultimately benefiting the children's well-being.

Key Takeaways

->Establishing a collaborative co-parenting relationship is crucial to prevent parental conflict and minimize the negative impact of divorce on children.

->Consistency in setting limits and discipline rules across both households is key to reducing disagreements and promoting a neutral authority for children.

->Parental conflict during divorce can intensify children's feelings of guilt and responsibility, making the divorce process even more difficult for them.

->Proactive parenting involves setting clear expectations, consequences, and rules in advance to address problematic behaviors without escalating emotional outbursts.

->Lowering the emotional tone in the household and implementing consequences for negative behaviors can aid in effective conflict management and strengthen family bonds.

Connect with Gary J. Edelstein

https://npiprofile.com/npi/1518003177

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/gary-j-edelstein-brewster-ny/134476?msockid=3bb72f09a5256ac538a43db7a43c6be1

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"You don't get divorced from your spouse. It doesn't exist. It's a made-up word. You commit to a new relationship with them." - Avi Kahan

Avi Kahan, a distinguished mediator and founder of the non-profit Vad Hadin Vahora, is renowned for his innovative approach to divorce proceedings, integrating halakhic principles with civil law to offer comprehensive conflict resolution. With a background in finance and law, he expertly navigates the complexities of money, ethics, and family dynamics, promoting mediation over litigation to transform traditional divorce processes. Kahan believes that many mediators act merely as facilitators who know the divorce system, rather than genuinely resolving conflicts, and advocates for a deeper form of mediation that focuses on understanding underlying conflicts and crafting third solutions acceptable to both parties. Envisioning a future where divorce is seen as a positive transition rather than a war, Kahan emphasizes the importance of viewing divorce as a means of improving relationships, ultimately fostering an environment where couples can co-parent amicably without the animosity of court battles.

Key Takeaways

->Mediation in divorce is essential for fair resolutions despite challenges compared to traditional litigation.

->Understanding conflict and finding mutually acceptable solutions is crucial in true mediation.

->Effective mediation can navigate complex family dynamics and ethical considerations for a more amicable separation process.

->Unresolved conflict and breakdowns in communication often lead to divorce.

->Real mediation aims to address underlying conflict dynamics and real problems in divorces.

->Divorce should be viewed as a positive step towards a new beginning, shifting societal perspective.

->Prioritizing children's well-being during divorce is crucial for minimizing emotional and psychological impact.

Connect with Avi Kahan

https://hadin.org/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/avi-kahan-428aba169/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"Mirroring slows down the communication process. It really helps us to be able to tune in and listen in addition to be able to hear the information." - Trisha Sanders

Trisha Sanders is a licensed clinical social worker with nearly twenty years of experience, specializing in guiding families through the challenging transitions associated with divorce. Recognized for her expertise in expressive therapies and imago relationship therapy, Sanders places a strong emphasis on the development of emotional intelligence and effective communication as essential tools for healing and strengthening relationships. She underscores the importance of these skills in divorce, particularly when co-parenting, as they help address the trauma and loss of control that often accompany such life changes. Through her work on platforms like wholefamilynj.com and her Instagram account, Sanders advocates for strategies that foster a supportive environment, enabling families to navigate the complexities of divorce with empathy and understanding.

Key Takeaways

->Utilizing play therapy and storybooks is crucial for effectively communicating with children about divorce.

->Maintaining boundaries, avoiding negativity, and fostering open communication with children is important during divorce.

->Emotional intelligence and effective communication are key in healing and strengthening relationships during and after divorce.

->Structured communication techniques like mirroring, empathy, and validation are crucial in high-tension situations like divorce.

->Learning skills to deal with difficult personalities is valuable for personal growth, particularly for young children and teenagers.

->Effective communication strategies, such as mirroring and validation, are crucial during divorce to avoid criticism and conflict.

Connect with Trisha Sanders:

https://www.wholefamilynj.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/trish-sanders-lcsw07652/

https://www.instagram.com/trish.sanders.lcsw/

https://www.facebook.com/wholefamilynj/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"Well, I guess it's important to know what's important to the spouse that you're divorcing and for them to know what's important to you so you could have a win-win situation." - Jeff Landers

Jeff Landers is a distinguished expert with over 40 years of experience in real estate, mortgages, and the financial intricacies of divorce, renowned for his guidance in navigating the complex financial challenges of ending a marriage. He emphasizes the crucial importance of being financially involved in household matters before a divorce to avoid complications and advises individuals to prioritize financial over emotional decisions during the process. Landers advocates for the engagement of specialized financial advisors with experience in divorce, recommending tools like Broker Check to assess their credibility and expertise. By highlighting the need for proactive and strategic financial planning, Landers aims to prevent common pitfalls and ensure a stable future for those going through a divorce, advocating for decisions that avoid long-term regrets and secure financial independence.

Key Takeaways:

->Involvement in household finances during divorce is crucial to avoid complications and unknown financial details.

->Emotional decisions during divorce can have long-term financial consequences, highlighting the importance of thinking financially.

->Divorce settlements are ultimately about money and ensuring financial security for the future.

Financial advisors can help ensure that divorce settlements lead to financial success in the future.

->Asset division in divorce involves strategies to help individuals attain a favorable settlement based on their goals and trade-offs.

->Setting up a divorce settlement for financial success involves seeking guidance from a financial advisor and managing expenses carefully.

Connect with Jeff Landers:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jefflanders/

https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/

https://a.co/d/bBmQcPd

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"There's a whole grief process that starts all over again when you make that final decision to sell that property. And that's hard for people." - Nikki Beauchamp

Nikki Beauchamp, a seasoned Manhattan-based real estate expert with over two decades of experience at Sotheby's International Realty, provides invaluable guidance at the intersection of divorce and property transactions. With a keen focus on personal goals rather than general market trends, Nikki emphasizes the necessity of seeking advice from a trusted professional to navigate the complexities of the real estate market during a divorce. She advocates for open communication and regular assessment of real estate portfolios to make informed decisions, highlighting the importance of addressing these matters early in the divorce process. By offering nuanced insights and tailored solutions, Nikki Beauchamp fosters a supportive environment for divorcing couples, ensuring a smooth and positive transition with her empathetic and data-driven approach.

Key Takeaways

->Valuation of marital properties during divorce can be complex, considering children's needs, emotional attachment, market trends, renovation needs, and staging considerations.

->Property buyouts in divorce, especially in New York City, involve challenges related to financial resources, refinancing, cooperative housing requirements, credit challenges, liquidity issues, and lifestyle changes post-divorce.

->Selling a home during divorce can be emotionally challenging due to attachment and grief, especially when children are involved, requiring careful consideration of emotional ties, family dynamics, and financial concerns.

->Consider current market trends and property conditions in divorce cases to avoid overvaluing homes due to emotional attachments, emphasizing the importance of aligning personal circumstances with market dynamics.

->Real estate agents play a crucial role in working with divorcing couples, providing trust, comfort, and a neutral resource to guide couples smoothly through the real estate process, alleviating misunderstandings and ensuring a positive experience for both parties.

Connect with Nikki Beauchamp:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolebeauchamp/

https://www.nicolebeauchamp.com/

https://www.instagram.com/nikkibeauchamp

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"Divorce will get you out of one situation. It will not guarantee, though, a happy ending in the next." - Jessica McCarthy

Dr. Jessica McCarthy, a renowned clinical and school psychologist from New Jersey, is celebrated for her expertise in supporting women through life transitions, including divorce. As the founder of Elements Psychological Services, she adopts a no-nonsense approach to simplify complex psychological concepts, making her a respected figure in both clinical and media landscapes. Dr. McCarthy views divorce as an opportunity to start anew rather than an assured path to happiness, urging individuals to engage in self-reflection and learn from past experiences to avoid repeating old patterns. She advocates for intentional living by setting clear boundaries and focusing on self-discovery, empowering her clients to craft a fulfilling and purposeful new chapter in their lives after divorce.

Key Takeaways

->Healing after divorce requires time and support to prioritize personal well-being.

->Divorce can lead to personal growth and self-discovery by focusing on self-investment.

->Establishing new boundaries and parameters is crucial in post-divorce relationships.

->Co-parenting after divorce requires setting boundaries, clear communication, and prioritizing children's needs.

->Setting boundaries in communication with ex-partners post-divorce is essential for healthy dynamics.

->Maintaining consistency and structure for children of divorce is crucial for their well-being.

Connect with Jessica McCarthy:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-a-mccarthy-psy-d-795b333/

https://elementspsych.com/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"If you don't know about the money, you don't have control over the money or access to the money."

Ed Vargo, the founder of Burning River Advisory Group and Enlighten Her, is a fervent advocate for financial literacy, particularly focusing on empowering women. Inspired by his immigrant mother's struggles with financial independence, Ed has dedicated his career to providing compassionate financial guidance to help women achieve equality through financial strength. He emphasizes the significance of teaching financial literacy from a young age, advocating for parents to model positive financial behaviors for their children and encouraging open discussions about money within families. Vargo also highlights the impact of financial misunderstandings on relationships, especially during divorce, underscoring the importance of assembling a knowledgeable support team and fostering financial education to promote harmony and independence.

Key Takeaways:

->Ed Vargo emphasizes teaching children about money management from a positive perspective and modeling good money behavior.

->Communication about money values and decisions is crucial in relationships to avoid disharmony and resentment.

->Open dialogue about money in relationships can prevent conflicts and build financial harmony.

->Educating oneself about family finances, especially during divorce, is essential to avoid being at a disadvantage.

->Enlighten Her offers resources like white papers on money myths and steps to take during divorce to empower women in managing their finances.

->Early intervention in divorce proceedings is crucial to avoid post-settlement regrets and make informed decisions.

->Enlighten Her aims to empower women to take control of their finances and make informed decisions, especially during major life events like divorce.

Connect with Ed Vargo:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joe-zweben-17676434a/

https://www.instagram.com/joezweben_/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"If your parents and you are just going to look at the negative side only and just keep making it worse for yourself, it's never going to get better." -Joseph Zweben-

Joseph Zweben, a student at Pace University, is a testament to the positive impact of cooperative parenting during challenging times like divorce. Having personally experienced the benefits of his parents' collaborative efforts, Joseph emphasizes how their open communication and conflict-free environment allowed him and his brother to thrive academically and athletically. This nurturing approach not only bolstered his emotional well-being but also sparked his passion for helping others facing similar challenges, as demonstrated through his volunteer work with organizations such as Top Soccer and Best Buddies. Joseph's story underscores the potential for resilience and growth in children when parents prioritize a supportive and stable environment, even amidst the complexities of divorce.

Key Takeaways:

->The positive impact of cooperative parenting during and after divorce on children's adaptation and mental well-being

->The value of empathy, support, and effective communication in navigating tough situations, as learned through personal experiences

->Maintaining a sense of normalcy for children during family celebrations, birthdays, and holidays post-divorce

->The enduring unity within divorced families and the importance of open communication and adaptability in family relationships post-separation

->Reassuring children during divorce to prevent them from blaming themselves and minimizing the negative impact on their well-being

->The emotional intelligence growth and ability to help others influenced by watching parents co-parent

Connect with Joseph Zweben:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joe-zweben-17676434a/

https://www.instagram.com/joezweben_/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"You really want to know what your priorities are and then you want to know what your spouse's priorities are, because they might be different." - Melissa Murphy Pavone

Melissa Murphy Pavone is a seasoned certified financial planner and divorce financial analyst, whose 18 years of experience in the field are deeply influenced by her personal experiences as a child of divorce. She founded Mindful Divorce Partners to guide clients through the intricate financial challenges of divorce with clarity and assurance. Melissa stresses the importance of proactive and holistic financial planning, focusing on understanding settlement options, tax implications, and the long-term effects of financial decisions, especially when children are involved. Her approach goes beyond mere numbers, helping clients design balanced and sustainable financial plans that align with their future goals and risk tolerance, while avoiding common pitfalls such as retaining the family home without considering its long-term financial impact.

Key Takeaways:

->Working with a financial planner post-divorce is crucial for navigating the transition to saving for oneself, contributing to retirement, and bridging the financial gap left by alimony and child support.

->Understanding priorities in financial assets during divorce negotiations is key to ensuring a fair and balanced outcome, particularly when children are involved.

->Having a financial planner as a supportive ally can provide guidance tailored to risk tolerance and financial goals for a secure future post-divorce.

->Offering fee-for-service and assets under management advisory models allows financial advisors to tailor their services to best suit individual circumstances and goals, especially in divorce scenarios.

->Educating clients on the importance of having an emergency fund and considering tax implications is crucial in making informed decisions about the family residence in divorce settlements.

Connect with Melissa Murphy Pavone:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissamurphypavone/

https://mindfulfinancialpartners.com/about/

https://mindfulfinancialpartners.com/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"In divorce we grieve the marriage, we grieve the life we once had with our partner and what that looked like. We grieve that stability." - Justine Carino

Justine Carino, a licensed mental health counselor with over 12 years of experience, is a prominent voice in understanding the psychological impact of divorce. Specializing in anxiety and depression, she highlights the critical role therapy plays in navigating the emotional complexities of this life-altering event. Through her practice and her podcast, "Thoughts from the Couch," Justine emphasizes the importance of therapy in guiding individuals through the stages of grief, helping them rebuild their identities, and fostering personal growth. Her compassionate insights, featured in major media outlets like Cosmopolitan and the Huffington Post, reassure those experiencing divorce that with the right support, happiness and transformation are attainable outcomes.

Key Takeaways:

->Divorce can bring about a range of emotional challenges similar to the stages of grief.

->Therapy is essential in assisting individuals going through divorce.

->Establishing clear boundaries is essential for preserving relationships during divorce.

->Common misconceptions about divorce recovery can be disproven.

->Individuals experience an identity shift post-divorce.

->Many individuals eventually consider dating post-divorce.

Connect with Justine Carino:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/justine-carino-lmhc-39a84615b/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/