Divorce Dialogues

"It will not get any easier if you're avoiding it. Now, don't think that in six months or a year the solution will be, in fact, it's going to get much harder." - Katya Sverdlov

Katya Sverdlov is a distinguished attorney specializing in estate planning and elder law, with a robust background in finance as a chartered financial analyst. Driven by her own unsatisfactory experience with estate planning at a large law firm, she founded her own practice to ensure personalized client care and education. Sverdlov is passionate about empowering families to make informed decisions, emphasizing the critical importance of properly documenting estate planning wishes in writing, as verbal instructions or unsigned documents hold no legal weight. Her approach includes leveraging her financial expertise to help clients navigate complex family dynamics and asset considerations, highlighting strategies like irrevocable trusts for Medicaid planning, ensuring that her clients' wishes are legally binding and protected for the future.

Key Takeaways:

->Proper documentation in estate planning is crucial to ensure individuals' wishes are legally binding and carried out as intended.

->Medicaid planning is essential for individuals with total assets of roughly 3 million and below to ensure coverage for long-term care.

->Irrevocable trusts allow individuals to protect assets, retain certain control, and potentially qualify for Medicaid coverage for long-term care expenses.

->Working with knowledgeable professionals is emphasized by Katya Sverdlov to properly execute and regularly update estate documents.

->Asset protection and ensuring desired outcomes for individuals and their families are key goals of estate planning.

Connect with Katya:

https://sverdlovlaw.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/katya-sverdlov-cfa-esq-3aab406/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"Kids have large antenna on their heads that you can't see, but they're always scanning for information, and that is information that is picked up very easily." - Lisa Herrick

Dr. Lisa Herrick, a renowned family therapist and collaborative divorce coach, has nearly twenty years of experience guiding families in the Washington, D.C. area through the complex transition period of separation and divorce. She emphasizes that this transition varies greatly among individuals, depending on their resilience and specific circumstances, and underscores the importance of allowing adequate time for adjustment, adaptation, and recovery. Dr. Herrick advocates for honest and respectful communication between co-parents, particularly when introducing new partners to children, to minimize confusion and build trust. Drawing from personal experience, she highlights the intricate dynamics involved in shared family activities post-divorce, such as spending holidays together, and the necessity of preparing new partners for their roles within a blended family to foster a healthy and harmonious environment.

Key Takeaways:

->The period of time required for individuals and families to adjust, adapt, and recover from separation and divorce is crucial.

->Nesting during divorce involves sharing living space, household responsibilities, and potential implications for future relationships.

->It is important to go slow when introducing children to new romantic partners after divorce.

Lisa Herrick emphasizes the importance of preparing new partners for interactions with children and ex-spouses in blended families.

->Lisa and Katherine emphasize the benefits of waiting for the right moment to introduce shared holidays and dinners in a blended family.

Connect with Lisa Herrick:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-herrick-009a6128/

https://lisaherrick.com/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

"The key is that it keeps the children stable. It keeps their routines consistent. There's a lot less upheaval and chaos for the children. It's a very child centered approach to separation and divorce." - Ann Gold Buscho

Ann Gold Buscho, a licensed clinical psychologist, is renowned for her expertise in family dynamics surrounding divorce, with a particular emphasis on child-centered solutions. As the author of "The Parents Guide to Bird Nesting: A Child-Centered Solution to Co-Parenting During Separation and Divorce," she advocates for bird nesting as a strategy to mitigate the negative impacts of divorce on children by ensuring stability and consistency in their environment. Buscho underscores the importance of prioritizing children's welfare by setting aside personal conflicts and fostering effective co-parenting through open communication and collaboration. Her work offers practical tools and guidance to help parents navigate the complexities of bird nesting, including addressing financial and logistical considerations, to create a harmonious and supportive arrangement for their children.

Key Takeaways:

• Bird nesting is a child-centered approach to divorce that provides stability and consistency for children.

• Financial and logistical considerations are crucial when implementing a bird nesting arrangement.

• Short-term nesting can have a positive impact on children by offering a stable transition during separation.

• Having clear agreements in place for nesting arrangements is essential for co-parenting success.

• Establishing a clear budget and separate accounts for nesting expenses is crucial for financial stability.

Connect with Ann Gold Buscho, Ph.D.:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ann-buscho-ph-d-4110437/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

"I think whether someone wants to admit it or not, we have all been in that space multiple times in our life where we wonder who we want to be, who we should be, and who we are." - Jennifer Teplin

Jennifer Teplin is a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Manhattan Wellness, where she specializes in helping young professionals navigate significant life changes, including divorce. She advocates for personal transformation through challenging limiting patterns and embracing authenticity, believing that divorce, while difficult, is an opportunity for individuals to redefine themselves. Teplin's human-centered and collaborative approach is uniquely tailored to address the emotional complexities of divorce, providing a safe space for clients to explore and align with their true desires. By encouraging self-reflection and intentional decision-making, she empowers individuals to overcome societal expectations and build lives they genuinely love, viewing divorce as a pivotal moment for personal growth and new beginnings.

Key Takeaways:

->Jennifer Teplin empowers clients to challenge limiting patterns, embrace authenticity, and create meaningful personal transformation.

->Divorce is now happening at younger ages as people are more willing to admit when they are unhappy in a relationship.

->Individuals need to envision a fulfilling life after divorce to have the motivation and courage needed for a new beginning.

->Fear of the unknown can cause individuals to prioritize familiarity over their own happiness in relationships.

->Negative emotions after a breakup can be a catalyst for personal growth and an opportunity for redirection.

Connect with Jennifer Teplin:

https://manhattanwellness.org/jennifer

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferteplin/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"People need to feel safe to be a part of a team. People need to feel safe to be able to contribute." - Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is a distinguished relationship expert who dedicates his work to helping couples achieve breakthroughs, regardless of their backgrounds or beliefs. He champions the idea that conflicts within relationships are not merely obstacles but opportunities for healing and growth, transforming potential breakdowns into significant breakthroughs. Through his engaging private two-day intensives and group workshops, Rabbi Slatkin provides couples at crossroads with the clarity and strategies needed to foster positive outcomes, grounded in a deep-rooted belief that every conflict holds the potential for constructive change. By advocating for relationship intelligence and understanding through faith, he inspires couples to approach challenges with hope, emphasizing that facing and resolving conflicts can ultimately deepen their commitment and connection.

Key Takeaways:

->Conflicts in relationships can lead to deeper connections and personal development.

->Creating a safe environment is crucial in relationships to enable open communication and prevent defensiveness.

->Understanding and acknowledging the other person's perspective is key to fostering goodwill and productive communication.

->Breakdowns in relationships can lead to breakthroughs and personal growth.

->Imago therapy helps individuals understand the source of conflict in relationships and develop effective communication skills.

->Viewing conflicts as opportunities for healing and growth can strengthen relationships.

Connect with Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin:

https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/

https://www.imagorelationshipswork.com/user/slatkinm

https://www.linkedin.com/in/themarriagerestorationproject/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"It is a rebirth because there is so much of your identity attached to who you were with this other person in the life that you had with this person or that you created with the person." -Karina Diaz

Karina Diaz, a licensed psychotherapist and art therapist with over two decades of experience, offers a compassionate and creative approach to guiding individuals through the emotional journey of divorce. She believes this journey is a deeply impactful experience that often disrupts one's sense of self, particularly affecting children who may feel powerless during such transitions. Karina emphasizes the importance of providing space for children to process their trauma and allowing them a sense of agency, while also highlighting the need for compassion and cultural understanding in supporting all individuals involved. Through her work, she advocates for addressing the emotional complexities of divorce with dignity and empathy, utilizing art therapy as a powerful tool to express and heal from the complex emotions experienced during this challenging life transition.

Key Takeaways:

->Divorce can be a traumatic event for individuals, couples, and families, with each person processing it uniquely.

->Art therapy is used as a tool to express complex emotions and provide a non-verbal outlet for individuals during divorce.

->Understanding and addressing the emotional needs of young children during divorce is crucial.

->Healing after emotionally abusive relationships involves rediscovering oneself and rebuilding a sense of self.

->Support and encouragement are important for individuals leaving toxic relationships to navigate the complexities of the process.

Connect with Karina Diaz:

https://karinadiaztherapy.com/about

https://www.linkedin.com/in/karina-diaz-lcat-lpat-a0831520/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"There's something freeing about it. You can decide where you want your assets to go to. You can choose what charity. You don't have to listen to someone else now telling you, no, no, no, no, no." - Tammy Fried

Tammy Fried, a seasoned attorney with over 25 years of expertise in tax trusts and estates, is dedicated to guiding individuals, families, and non-profits through the complex terrain of estate planning. As a founding partner of Radic Freed PLLC, she underscores the importance of tailoring estate plans to accommodate the evolving needs that arise across different life stages, from young couples embarking on family life to high-net-worth individuals navigating career changes or even divorce. Fried's strategic approach ensures her clients receive personalized solutions that address their unique circumstances, emphasizing the need to update essential documents like wills, trusts, and powers of attorney to reflect life transitions and safeguard their futures. Her perspective highlights the freedom and control individuals have over their estate plans, particularly post-divorce, allowing them to make informed decisions about asset distribution and guardianship without the need for negotiation, thus securing clarity and security for themselves and their beneficiaries.

Key Takeaways:

->Choosing a guardian for children after divorce is crucial for their care and financial responsibility.

->Financial restructuring during divorce extends to estate planning, including reviewing beneficiaries and wills post-divorce.

->Updating estate planning documents after divorce is essential to prevent unintended consequences like assets going to ex-spouses.

->Ancillary documents like power of attorney and living will are essential for comprehensive estate planning.

->Leaving assets to kids in trust can protect them from divorce, lawsuits, and provide asset protection for the next generation.

Connect with Tammy Fried:

https://www.raddockfried.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tammyfried/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"What we live with, we learn. What we learn, we practice. What we practice, we become." - Jennifer Kupferman

Jennifer Kupferman is a distinguished therapist and former lawyer who expertly combines somatic and traditional talk therapy to guide individuals through the tumultuous journey of divorce. With an impressive academic background, including degrees from Columbia, Penn, Yale, and ASU, she leverages her understanding of high-pressure environments to help her clients find balance amidst the emotional and financial challenges of divorce. Kupferman emphasizes the critical need to validate emotional responses while separating them from legal decisions, as intense emotions can cloud judgment. By encouraging self-compassion and curiosity towards conflicting emotions, she aids in emotional empowerment and healing, advocating for therapeutic techniques like EMDR to reshape self-identity and foster healthy conflict resolution, ultimately benefiting both individuals and their families.

Key Takeaways

->Emotions can impair rational decision-making during a divorce.

->It is important to untangle emotions from legal decisions during divorce.

->Children of divorce may develop resilience and problem-solving skills.

->Being aware of one's own nervous system can help parents be more responsive with their children during divorce.

->Somatic therapy aids in creating new neural circuits in the brain for emotional empowerment.

Connect with Jennifer Kupferman:

https://flourishpsychologynyc.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-kupferman-bb207a5/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"Trust can be helpful for several reasons. One is that having assets in a trust makes it easier when a person dies because the trust assets don't go through the Surrogate's Court." - Michael Goldstein

Michael Goldstein, a seasoned New York attorney with over thirty years of experience, brings a wealth of knowledge to the complex issue of dividing real estate during divorce. With a focus on the intricacies of jointly owned properties, such as the marital home and investment properties, Goldstein offers practical insights and a compassionate approach to resolving these disputes. He emphasizes the importance of addressing real estate matters in divorce decrees to prevent legal complications post-divorce, considering critical financial factors like down payments, mortgage payments, and property maintenance. Beyond real estate, Goldstein also advises on utilizing trusts and updating estate plans to protect assets and ensure proper distribution, highlighting their value in safeguarding against unintended consequences during divorce proceedings.

Key Takeaways

->Having a written agreement in place can help avoid potential conflicts and ensure clarity on property ownership, expenses, and potential rental income.

->Updating beneficiaries on wills, life insurance policies, and financial accounts during divorce is crucial to avoid unintended consequences.

->Trusts can be a smart tool in divorce planning, offering protection for assets from divorce, bankruptcy, creditors, or bad decisions.

->Written agreements are essential in divorce cases to prevent disputes in the future, regardless of the level of trust between parties.

->Goldstein and Miller emphasize the importance of written agreements for property ownership to avoid disputes and conflicts in the future.

Connect with Michael W. Goldstein:

https://www.atty1.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-w-goldstein-6aba8410/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/

"Divorce is not just an ending, but a chance to rediscover the strength we didn't know we have." - Sabrina Romanoff

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist based in New York City, is renowned for her expertise in guiding individuals and couples through the emotional complexities of divorce. She views divorce as an emotional and psychological journey rather than just a legal matter, highlighting the importance of resilience and personal growth during such transformative times. Dr. Romanoff advocates for creating a safe and supportive therapeutic environment that allows individuals to heal at their own pace, drawing parallels between this process and her work with asylum seekers. Through her approach, she emphasizes the significance of finding a compassionate therapist who can provide non-judgmental support, helping individuals navigate their fears and uncertainties while transforming the end of a marriage into an opportunity for self-discovery and new beginnings.

Key Takeaways

->Emotional and psychological support is crucial during divorce.

->Healing from divorce involves phases of grief, uncertainty, and rebuilding.

->Focusing on personal values can help navigate divorce decisions.

->Maintaining a positive relationship with your attorney is important during divorce.

->Setting boundaries and protecting mental health are essential when dealing with a high-conflict partner during divorce.

Connect with Sabrina Romanoff:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsromanoff/

https://drsabrinaromanoff.com/

Connect with Katherine Miller:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

https://miller-law.com/