Divorce ReDefined with Cindy Stibbard

The foundation for getting unstuck is first figuring out WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT? This can be a really hard question to answer. Most of us have years of someone else's beliefs or expectations programmed into us, so it's hard to peel those away and find out what you truly want. OR, maybe you know what that is but you have that voice in your head stopping you from doing it - keeping you in the comfort zone. At Launch Success Lab, Jillian dives right into this in the very beginning, as she asks her clients: "If this was a universe where ANYTHING was possible, what would you want to do, be and have? Don't worry about money, time, other people's opinions. What would your life look like?" Set a BIG HUGE goal - as wild and out there as you like. Then she works to break it down to bite size goals. But, easier said than done… Jillian talks about that voice in our heads that holds us back. It's one thing to have KNOW what you want, but it's a whole other thing to BELIEVE you can have it. The voice in our head is our paradigm - it's our beliefs, our habits. Paradigms drive all of our behaviour and results. The paradigm's job is to keep us stuck in the comfort zone, even if that place isn't good. At Launch Success Lab, Jillian teaches you how to kick out that limiting voice and replace it with one that's on your side. One of the ways Jillian starts this process this is by helping you create a self image to get you where you want to go, then you create the MINDSET to get you there!

Like so many good things, this one started with conversations among a few new friends. Over small dinners and happy hours during the summer of 2020, six 40-somethings in Tulsa realized one striking common denominator: their midlife, post-divorce status. Messy, raw, friendly, acrimonious, you name it – their experiences with divorce and their ex were varied, but all of them sang from the same sheet of music: divorce midlife is not for the faint of heart. Themes began to emerge such as the importance of friendship, managing a new set of finances, self care and healing, successful co-parenting and, of course, dating. Maybe, they thought, they should share their collective thoughts about life after divorce on a new social media account. What started as an idea to simply self deprecate about their experiences has evolved quickly into a grass-roots movement. DivorcedOver40 (DO40) now has become a dynamic, inclusive community with both virtual and in-person meet ups all over the USA. The gatherings are not intended to be dating mixers – rather they are a way to build genuine connections with people who can relate. The group's message is clear: dating is fun and helpful after a divorce, but take time to heal and find friendships along the journey.

Mediation is a form of alternate dispute resolution that uses the services of a neutral (mediator) to help parties reach resolution in conflict. Mediation is fast, cost-effective way for couples who are divorcing to resolve the various issues related to their divorce. Additionally, it allows for parties to have control over the outcome rather than allowing someone else tell them how their matter will end. Mediation serves as a much gentler alternative to litigation which is especially important for couples who have children. Cortney and I will tall about when mediation makes sense in divorce and what to do to make sure your mediation experience goes as smoothly and effectively as possible.

Shannon Sagawe is the founder of The Wealth Alchemist, a lifestyle investment brand and the host/creator of the Shot Caller Podcast, launched in 2019. The Wealth Alchemists' definition of wealth is having access, freedom and resources to pursue your dreams, invest in your health, spend time with loved ones and enjoy the beauty of this amazing planet. Financial and investment literacy play a key role in achieving this vision and to knowing your WORTH.

Dr. Elizabeth uses the term Relational Programming to describe the impact of our upbringing on present day behaviours in relationships. In tis episode, we will talk about the impact of our upbringing on our attachment styles and how we respond to conflict and communication with others in our lives, most notably our partners and spouses. The way we have been programmed can also impact our marriages and can lead to the end of relationships. Having insight into ourselves by understanding our up-bringing, our attachment styles and identifying our own patterns and how they negatively (and positively) impact our relationships, we can learn to prevent repeating the same cycles in the future. Dr. Elizabeth, and myself included, believe that healing is how we break the cycle.

Renee and I are going to talk candidly about what it's like to be a Divorce Attorney, how it impacts her own marriage and family and what are the most important things you should know when hiring a family lawyer / attorney for your own situation. Renee is also an expert in establishing the right mindset when going through Divorce and we are going to dig into some tough questions: If you're the one who wants the divorce, how do you deal with the guilt of breaking up the family – how do you reconcile that guilt with your own happiness? You're used to being with your kids 24/7 and that's all going to change - how do you handle feeling like you're missing out on so much? When women go through a divorce they often end up angry or bitter and if they don't want to feel that way what can they do to prevent it?

In this episode, Kelly and I will talk the importance of understanding your financial world not only in the event of divorce, but as an empowered woman. She and I will talk openly and candidly about her personal experience with divorce, what the biggest lessons she gained, what she would do differently and what lead her to work in the field she does. Kelly will also give us an inside peak of her newly released book: Untying the Knot: Protecting Your Emotional & Financial Health During Divorce.

One of my driving missions and what inspired me to start my professional practice, Divorce ReDefined, is to increase the knowledge and understanding of both marriage and separation. When I found myself navigating the divorce process in my early 40s, I was embarrassed, shocked and terrified to discover how little I truly knew about the legal implications of marriage and what the divorce process actually entailed. Let's focus on the #1 leading misconception: If you work with a Divorce Coach it means you are getting a divorce. I'll get one thing straight right off the bat. As a Divorce Coach I am in no way "pro-divorce". Just because divorce was the right decision for me, does NOT mean it is the right decision for everyone. Mine was actually years in the making, but this is not always the case for others. And in fact, for some divorce may be the wrong decision. What I am though is pro-happiness, pro-empowerment, pro-mental and emotional health, pro-family and pro-wellbeing. Whether that means staying married or getting separated, I not only have first hand experience with how it feels emotionally and how it works systematically, I also have the tools, education, expertise and professional network to guide others in making decisions they are comfortable with - decisions that are right for their family - and support them along the way so it can happen as smoothly, as rationally and as cost-effectively as possible. The dissolution of a marriage is a big deal, and it is not something that one should enter into lightly. You have built a life with someone, created a home and perhaps are still raising children together; therefore; the decision, as well as the process, deserves to be handled with care, maturity and thoughtful consideration.