Divorce Unfiltered

Thirteen is Lana's lucky number. Maybe this is also her lucky year coming up: 2023 💦 as  some  wild revelations came through in the shower and are now unraveling in the present as we move through this last month of 2022. Annalisa also had an incredible realization about Voldemort. Perhaps our exes never change? Or do they? Do we? We'd love to hear your thoughts. 

This episode has been hidden for entire year and the plan was for it to be a bonus for patreon.com subscribers. We decided to release it to our wider audience acknowledging that the current reality makes this episode even juicer, but you'll have to wait for the next episode to learn exactly what that means ;) 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com

 Have you ever heard of or been to Burning Man? If not, we’ll tell you this: It’s a place the “burners” to lovingly call “Home.” Its Nevada’s third largest city for one week, toward the end of the summer each year. 80k people from all over the globe travel to this dry lake bed to gather and share an experience unlike any other. We attend burning man to heal, learn, grow, connect and expand our minds and our hearts to more fully embrace every aspect of the human experience. Some people fall in love, some marry — right there on the “playa” during the week long event. Some come to find love from another or love from oneself and rediscover parts of themselves lost in a challenging dynamic, or divorce. We were fortunate enough to capture the post burn essence of Isabelle Gray, a sought after hypnotherapist & energy worker based in Southern Los Angeles, originally from Belgium. She’s on her heroic journey after divorce, and burning man was — without a doubt, medicine for her soul. Please enjoy this first re-lauch episode of season 2. We hope that it inspires you to seek new experiences like Burning Man on your post-divorce path. 

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  Lana Shay and Annalisa Raghunandan, two 30-somethings, united by chance in the jungle of Southern Costa Rica, connect during one of life’s greatest transitions, dismantling what was, moving courageously forward and building an outstanding version of what’s to come. Lana and Annalisa get raw and real in every episode, bringing you unfiltered conversations about divorce that most only have in private. 

  *
  
  If this podcast floated your boat, please pretty please with an organic cherry on top, consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes?! It will take less than a few minutes of your (deeply appreciated) time, and it supports us in expanding our audience to people who will benefit from our unfiltered conversations.
  

Find us on the interwebs!
 
  Annalisa
Lana
 

Find Divorce Unfiltered on Social and use our hashtag to let us know you're a listener! 
#DivorceUnfiltered

  Interested in sponsoring the Divorce Unfiltered podcast? Fill out this nifty (and very simple) form and we'll receive you with open arms ;) 
 

Follow US! 

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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com

We go into Annalisa's immigrant story in this episode. Her move at 3 years old from Guyana to New Jersey and how her "abandonment issues" came to be.  Lana and Annalisa talk about how time is cyclical, and how all of the "looking back" can fu@K with your neck! The importance of leading life with an open heart despite all of the pain and what form of therapy was the most effective for both Lana and Annalisa. Lana references her Tantra teachers and the 10+ years of training she's done with them as well as yet another Tony Robbins name drop. Yep. Again. Every episode folks! Enjoy! 

Moments:

25:54   "All of this looking back is fu@king with your neck."

26:34  Dr. Kais Faddah

29:04  https://www.TantraNova.com/

30:39   Freddy Weaver III

34:01 We are all just big babies - Ian-Michael Hébert 

35:00 NLP

36:46 The 2mm Rule

37:00 Lead with an open heart

39:10 Free therapy

39:56 Annalisa's childhood dream

41:56 90's "Girl Party" playlist

44:50 Don't walk away 

 *
 
 Lana Shay and Annalisa Raghunandan, two 30-somethings, united by chance in the jungle of Southern Costa Rica, connect during one of life’s greatest transitions, dismantling what was, moving courageously forward and building an outstanding version of what’s to come. Lana and Annalisa get raw and real in every episode, bringing you unfiltered conversations about divorce that most only have in private. 

 *
 
 If this podcast floated your boat, please pretty please with an organic cherry on top, consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes?! It will take less than a few minutes of your (deeply appreciated) time, and it supports us in expanding our audience to people who will benefit from our unfiltered conversations.
 

Find us on the interwebs!
 
 Annalisa
Lana
 

Find Divorce Unfiltered on Social and use our hashtag to let us know you're a listener! 
#DivorceUnfiltered

 Interested in sponsoring the Divorce Unfiltered podcast? Fill out this nifty (and very simple) form and we'll receive you with open arms ;) 
 

Follow US! 

Twitter
Instagram

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com

Did you know that divorce is not failure? It's success! We'll tell you why. It's movement, it's growth, it's evolution. All relationships are an opportunity to learn. They don't need to be for life. What a concept, right? Some relationships are lessons. It's just a fact. This episode is a full-on kitchen table conversation with a dear friend of Annalisa's - Stephanie Bishop, about divorce, parenting and what it means to just put yourself first!

Moments:

2:50 Aubrey Marcus Podcast #210 Luke Storey on Releasing Celibacy and Sobriety

4:20  You are exactly where you need to be.

5:00  Time heals all wounds.

6:20  Quitting is not failure.

7:05 It takes more to leave. 

8:01 Success is tied to duration.

9:10  There is no plateau of happiness.

12:50 Guilt is the thing that will make you feel like a failure.

14:30 The hardest thing you will do in life is get up in the morning.

19:00 See it for what it is; detach.

19:30 Show your kids the emotional intelligence you want them to take into adulthood.

21:00 Advice for parental alienation.

22:50 Five minutes of going through it.

36:30 Does my kids hate me because I ended the relationship?

37:00 Allow time for good experiences to replace bad memories.

38:35 Your job as a parent is to make that kid an adult.

42:05 You are a good parent. You aren't on crack.

44:45 No matter what I am feeling I have to be mom.

48:45 It took the relationship I'm in now to fix what happened in the past.

54:33 We need each other to tell stories and validate each other.

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 Lana Shay and Annalisa Raghunandan, two 30-somethings, united by chance in the jungle of Southern Costa Rica, connect during one of life’s greatest transitions, dismantling what was, moving courageously forward and building an outstanding version of what’s to come. Lana and Annalisa get raw and real in every episode, bringing you unfiltered conversations about divorce that most only have in private. 

 *
 
 If this podcast floated your boat, please pretty please with an organic cherry on top, consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes?! It will take less than a few minutes of your (deeply appreciated) time, and it supports us in expanding our audience to people who will benefit from our unfiltered conversations.
 
Support us on Patreon! This is where you'll find all of the bonus episodes that were just too inappropriate for the major podcasting channels (not to mention endless bloopers, and BTS moments).

Find us on the interwebs!
Annalisa
Lana

Find Divorce Unfiltered on Social and use our hashtag to let us know you're a listener! 
#DivorceUnfiltered

Interested in sponsoring the Divorce Unfiltered podcast? Fill out this nifty (and very simple) form to become an official sponsor 

Follow US!
Twitter
Instagram

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com

We're letting you eavesdrop on a drop in we had over the phone, over many many miles of land...as Lana made it out of the jungle - and somehow the jungle came to her. Annalisa is getting the full download on the ex situation and Lana is getting the jungle update. Yes, the saga continues, believe it or not! 

Moments: 

8:00    Was this a conscious decision or you got horny and gave in?

10:35  Lana's excuse for f**king her ex when she knows she shouldn't.

15:00  Stay out of my country.

21:36  Annalisa's update and parental alienation.

24:45 Amy Baker: Parental Alienation Syndrome Specialist

26:45 Don't make your stress your children's stress.

28:14  I'm learning the art of not giving a fu&k.

29:40 Learning to be alone.

31:06 When you realize you are exactly where you wanted to be.

33:11 The rebound thing.

38:00 Don't follow me on social if you can't handle my humor.

41:20  Social media and relationships.

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 Lana Shay and Annalisa Raghunandan, two 30-somethings, united by chance in the jungle of Southern Costa Rica, connect during one of life’s greatest transitions, dismantling what was, moving courageously forward and building an outstanding version of what’s to come. Lana and Annalisa get raw and real in every episode, bringing you unfiltered conversations about divorce that most only have in private. 

 *
 
 If this podcast floated your boat, please pretty please with an organic cherry on top, consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes?! It will take less than a few minutes of your (deeply appreciated) time, and it supports us in expanding our audience to people who will benefit from our unfiltered conversations.
 
Support us on Patreon! This is where you'll find all of the bonus episodes that were just too inappropriate for the major podcasting channels (not to mention endless bloopers, and BTS moments).

Find us on the interwebs!
Annalisa
Lana
 

Find Divorce Unfiltered on Social and use our hashtag to let us know you're a listener! 
#DivorceUnfiltered

Interested in sponsoring the Divorce Unfiltered podcast? Fill out this nifty (and very simple) form to become an official sponsor

Follow US!
Twitter
Instagram

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com

Alright ladies and gents! This is a very very special episode. We brought on an incredible guest for "getting to the roots;" getting to the depth of pain and trauma. 

*Deepest apologies for the audio quality.* It's a learning experience! 

"What Kyle does is a unique healing art form, most closely related to ancient Hawaiian Lomi Lomi. HAPA LOMI is long form (6-10 hrs), ancient Hawaiian Lomi Lomi. He approaches each person as a unique, complex, multilayered, individual.  His goal in a session is to push people physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually to create an environment where they reach their limit and push past it and as they return, the whole can come back to balance and begin to heal itself. Most importantly, it comes from the heart as the only thing he has ever found that helps is Love. It is an intense practice for those desiring lasting and deep change."  
- Gil Penchina

"Iboga of bodywork" is the way that Kyle describe his work, for people who are familiar with plant medicine. Divorce is about evolution. It's healing process. This is why we brought Kyle on - to speak about healing and open the conversation around moving forward.

Moments:

10:05  What is dissociation?

15:50    You can't separate the mind from the body.

17:35    We think that when a feeling passes it completely goes away.

19:05    Psychedelics and Kyle's experience with Iboga.

26:13    What is offered through touch?

30:50    That body's capacity for storage is greater than the mind.

36:40    Why we replay patterns: Choosing dysfunction over uncertainty.

52:40    Orgasms happen when you feel safe.

54:35    Fight, flight, or freeze; explained.

1:01:45  A man's deepest fear.

1:02:05  A woman's deepest fear.

1:09:30  Let's make space for ANGER.

1:13:35  The stupid s**t people say when you are ANgRy.

1:18:20  You can't "think" your way past this s**t.

1:19:50 How to honor the physical mechanism.

*
 
 Lana Shay and Annalisa Raghunandan, two 30-somethings, united by chance in the jungle of Southern Costa Rica, connect during one of life’s greatest transitions, dismantling what was, moving courageously forward and building an outstanding version of what’s to come. Lana and Annalisa get raw and real in every episode, bringing you unfiltered conversations about divorce that most only have in private. 

 *
 
 If this podcast floated your boat, please pretty please with an organic cherry on top, consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes?! It will take less than a few minutes of your (deeply appreciated) time, and it supports us in expanding our audience to people who will benefit from our unfiltered conversations.
 
Support us on Patreon! This is where you'll find all of the bonus episodes that were just too inappropriate for the major podcasting channels (not to mention endless bloopers, and BTS moments).

Find us on the interwebs!
Annalisa
Lana

Find Divorce Unfiltered on Social and use our hashtag to let us know you're a listener! 
#DivorceUnfiltered

Interested in sponsoring the Divorce Unfiltered podcast? Fill out this nifty (and very simple) form to become an official sponsor

Follow US!
Twitter
Instagram



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com

Lana's going through it. Again. Rebound lover has a new chick and Lana isn't feeling it. Annalisa plays Lana's therapist in this episode where Lana confronts her need to keep going back to what isn't good for her, and exposing her crutches. We dive into what we want in relationship and what we might be getting from them that we didn't foresee or intend to.  Annalisa offers Lana and challenge and you'll find out whether she accepts just at the end of the episode ;) 

Moments:

4:00   Separation is blurry

8:20   These aren't red flags. They are neon signs.

13:00   So you wanna be polyamorous?

15:30   What happens when your ex meets someone else?

21:55  Could Lana be alone?

23:20  Lana's spicy sex life 

24:30  Can you step outside of your comfort zone?

27:25  Lana's avoidance tactics

29:40  When medicine becomes an addiction, it's then called a drug.

31:50  The murky water analogy 

33:33  Getting clear about what you want 

36:00   The concept of being "evolved." 

37:35  What you think you deserve 

45:50 Akashic reading.  The woo-woo s**t. 

 

 *
 
 Lana Shay and Annalisa Raghunandan, two 30-somethings, united by chance in the jungle of Southern Costa Rica, connect during one of life’s greatest transitions, dismantling what was, moving courageously forward and building an outstanding version of what’s to come. Lana and Annalisa get raw and real in every episode, bringing you unfiltered conversations about divorce that most only have in private. 

 *
 
 If this podcast floated your boat, please pretty please with an organic cherry on top, consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes?! It will take less than a few minutes of your (deeply appreciated) time, and it supports us in expanding our audience to people who will benefit from our unfiltered conversations.
 

Find us on the interwebs!
 
 Annalisa
Lana
 

Find Divorce Unfiltered on Social and use our hashtag to let us know you're a listener! 
#DivorceUnfiltered

 Interested in sponsoring the Divorce Unfiltered podcast? Fill out this nifty (and very simple) form and we'll receive you with open arms ;) 
 

Follow US! 

Twitter
Instagram

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com

Moments:
 

8:00 The letting go process

8:40 The third body again? Why do we feel possessive over the ex?

11:40 How celibacy went out the window

12:30 Getting out of your comfort zone

13:40 My comfort zone was a space where I was being abused

20:30 Anxiety attacks at 3:30 am

26:35 Thank you Divine Masculine

27:25 We let you open the jar so you feel like a man

32:20 Fear-based thoughts that keep us in a relationship.

34:00 Returning home to an empty shell.

35:50 The Tsunami that would follow

36:55 Avoiding the grief process

37:00 The bad habits and how they perpetuate anxiety 

40:25 Not present for my children

43:40 I don't want to die alone

46:40 This divorce s**t is f*****g up my sleep

49:00 Addicted to arguing with a narcissist

50:25 Learn how to not react and be a crazy b***h

51:25 I cry and feel weak

53:37 Jackie Gartman Life Coach 

54:40 What is the proper reaction to grief?

56:40 It is mental kung fu to stop obsessing over the ex

  *

Lana Shay and Annalisa Raghunandan, two 30-somethings, united by chance in the jungle of Southern Costa Rica, connect during one of life’s greatest transitions, dismantling what was, moving courageously forward and building an outstanding version of what’s to come. Lana and Annalisa get raw and real in every episode, bringing you unfiltered conversations about divorce that most only have in private. 

  *
  
If this podcast floated your boat, please pretty please with an organic cherry on top, consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes?! It will take less than a few minutes of your (deeply appreciated) time, and it supports us in expanding our audience to people who will benefit from our unfiltered conversations.
  

Find us on the interwebs!
Annalisa
Lana
 

Find Divorce Unfiltered on Social and use our hashtag to let us know you're a listener! 
#DivorceUnfiltered

Interested in sponsoring the Divorce Unfiltered podcast? Fill out this nifty (and very simple) form and we'll receive you with open arms ;) 
 

Follow US! 

Twitter
Instagram

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com

What happens when we jump into a relationship fast? What are the pros? Are there any? What are the drawbacks of jumping into a relationship fast? In this episode, Lana is on one. Fair warning. We'll share Lana's pro status in regard to "jumping in fast." There are certainly repercussions - at least for Lana. Once again, we're just recording our intimate personal conversations so that you can tune in and share in this very human experience with us. 

Moments:

4:00 Inner Healing After Narcissistic Abuse by Jasmin Shcult
7:30   The smoothie analogy.
10:48  I couldn't let go of the balls.
12:15  Narcissistic red flag.
19:50  Narcissists don't seek a diagnosis.
22:10  What is a closure?
24:40  I'm so focused on myself.
28:20 You couldn't fall apart.
31:05 I'm not being a good mom being in this relationship.
31:40 Sometimes you cross a line you can't come back from.
40:40 How do I come out on top no matter what this looks like?
42:25 Life is happening for you, not to you.


 *
 
 Lana Shay and Annalisa Raghunandan, two 30-somethings, united by chance in the jungle of Southern Costa Rica, connect during one of life’s greatest transitions, dismantling what was, moving courageously forward and building an outstanding version of what’s to come. Lana and Annalisa get raw and real in every episode, bringing you unfiltered conversations about divorce that most only have in private. 

 *
 
 If this podcast floated your boat, please pretty please with an organic cherry on top, consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes?! It will take less than a few minutes of your (deeply appreciated) time, and it supports us in expanding our audience to people who will benefit from our unfiltered conversations.
 

Find us on the interwebs!
 
 Annalisa
Lana
 

Find Divorce Unfiltered on Social and use our hashtag to let us know you're a listener! 
#DivorceUnfiltered

 Interested in sponsoring the Divorce Unfiltered podcast? Fill out this nifty (and very simple) form and we'll receive you with open arms ;) 
 

Follow US! 

Twitter
Instagram 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com

Let's talk about sex baby! Do you remember that song? Don't worry, we'll sing it to you.  This is the episode where Lana and Annalisa finally reveal their hidden talent. Complete joke. The truth is that this episode is about sex. How sex is affected by a relationship that is toxic. Tantra. Making love to God. Foreplay that starts in the morning. Masculine and feminine relationship dynamics. A little Burning Man story. How we create our reality and taking ownership for our anxiety and thought patterns. As always, you'll hear our personal, raw and unfiltered personal stories. 

Moments:

8:39 Foreplay starts in the morning. 

9:26 Taking ownership for thought patterns. 

19:07 Making love to God while making love to your partner. 

29:13 When a man makes a woman feel safe.

31:10 Rebound relationships: Are there studies? 

36:20  Burning Man: The catalyst for everything. 

41:00 How fast one decision can change your entire life.

45:44 Where is your mind while you're having sex?

46:45 Sex is an incredible indicator for everything else that is going on in your life!

 *
 
 Lana Shay and Annalisa Raghunandan, two 30-somethings, united by chance in the jungle of Southern Costa Rica, connect during one of life’s greatest transitions, dismantling what was, moving courageously forward and building an outstanding version of what’s to come. Lana and Annalisa get raw and real in every episode, bringing you unfiltered conversations about divorce that most only have in private. 

 *
 
 If this podcast floated your boat, please pretty please with an organic cherry on top, consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes?! It will take less than a few minutes of your (deeply appreciated) time, and it supports us in expanding our audience to people who will benefit from our unfiltered conversations.
 

Find us on the interwebs!
 
 Annalisa
Lana
 

Find Divorce Unfiltered on Social and use our hashtag to let us know you're a listener! 
#DivorceUnfiltered

 Interested in sponsoring the Divorce Unfiltered podcast? Fill out this nifty (and very simple) form and we'll receive you with open arms ;) 
 

Follow US! 

Twitter
Instagram 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit divorceunfiltered.substack.com