Divorced & Determined AF

Divorced & Determined AF

By Jamie Milam, Realtor® & CDS™Society & CultureEducationSelf-ImprovementRelationshipsHow To
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Divorced & Determined AF episodes

  • 59 - Preparing to Date Again After Divorce with Sade Curry
    Getting through a divorce and on the other side can leave you with a lot of emotional confusion, insecurity, and well, loneliness. You may have even thought it'd be a long time before you'd want to date again because you are so done with relationships. Until suddenly, you're not. Getting back out into the dating field can be nerve racking. But what if there's a way for you to navigate it more peacefully?
     
    In this episode, Sade Curry, a dating coach, provides practical guidance and advice for women navigating the complex waters of dating after divorce. If you've asked yourself "how do I know if I'm ready to date again? How soon after my divorce is it appropriate? What will others think?" then you'll want to tune in. Sade is going to give us the low down on what to watch for to know when you’re ready, when it's appropriate, and how to keep yourself at the center of this transition so you can keep moving forward in the most healthy manner.
     
     
    For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free divorce resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
     
    Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
    CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
    https://JamieMilam.com 
    Instagram | LinkedIn
     
    Get free access to Sade Curry's Is He the One packet that contains a free checklist covering 50 Green Flags of a Healthy Relationship AND a masterclass replay of How to Know When He's the One.
    Visit her website or connect with her on Instagram
     
    References: 
    The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Green
    Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
     
    Episode Moments:
    02:42 The Healing Process and Readiness for Dating
    06:29 The Danger of Following Arbitrary Rules
    10:19 The Challenges of Dating After Divorce
    21:16 Understanding the Complexity of Human Nature in Dating
    27:57 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk and Embracing Self-Love
    33:01 A New Definition of Self-Centered
    43 min
  • 58 - Finding Clarity in Relationship Crossroads Through Boundaries with Mary Brown
    "Do I stay or do I go?"
     
    Making the decision to leave any relationship is hard. We typically find ourselves at these crossroads because we aren't feeling valued or maybe even respected. How did we go from so lovey with one another, to now trying to decide if you can even stand to remain in the relationship? And how do we get out of this emotional turmoil and take a turning point to finally feel valued again?
     
    Having and honoring healthy boundaries is a major component of aligned living. This skill will empower you to identify spaces that aren't valuing you and even your dealbreakers so you can then make decisions that will support inner peace.
     
    In this episode I'm joined by boundaries coach, Mary Brown, and we dive into how a lack of boundaries are a fundamental element to this turmoil you may be feeling, and how you can identify what your boundaries really are, how to communicate them effectively and uphold them.
     
    Take Mary's Free Boundaries Quiz
    Learn more about Mary Brown, Boundaries Coach on her website
     
    For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
     
    Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
    CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
    https://JamieMilam.com 
    Instagram | LinkedIn
     
    - - - 
    Episode Moments:
    00:20 Defining Boundaries
    04:30 Identifying Personal Boundaries
    11:51 Communicating Boundaries in Relationships
    22:35 Maintaining Boundaries During Divorce
    35:23 Understanding and Respecting Boundaries
     
     
    References:
    Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart
    44 min
  • 57 - Dismantling the Guilt Your Feel in a Divorce
    This episode focuses on the emotional aftermath of divorce and the guilt commonly associated with it, stressing. Women tend to blame themselves, especially when children are involved, whether they initiated the divorce or not. Why is that? Why do we feel guilty for wanting to leave our marriage, if it could ultimately make us happier? Why do feel like it's our sole responsibility to keep the family unit together?
     
    Let's dive into how to overcome the feelings of guilt stemming from the end of a marriage. When we recognize the guilt we're feeling, we can then move into understanding it and dismantling it, which will empower us to navigate the divorce process more peacefully.
     
    I'll share with you why so many women feel guilt within their divorce and provide you with five actionable steps you can take to gradually release the burden of guilt and embrace the path to healing and real self-discovery.
     
    For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
     
    Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
    CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
    https://JamieMilam.com 
    Instagram | LinkedIn
     
    - - - 
    Episode Moments:
     
    01:58 The Role of Society in Amplifying Guilt
    04:26 The Guilt of Initiating Divorce
    04:10 Breaking the News to Others
    08:23 Struggling to Decide to Stay or Go
    15:01 The Fear of Judgement
    20:53 Strategies for Dismantling Guilt
    32 min
  • 56 - Strategies for Leaving an Abusive Marriage with Divorce Attorney Theresa Viera
    Leaving any relationship is hard. Leaving one that involves domestic violence can be scary. Combining all of that with divorce - talk about overwhelm.
     
    What if I told you that there are actually things you may do that could create further legal difficulties if you do them reactively, rather than strategically? If children are involved especially.
     
    In today's episode I am joined by divorce/family law attorney, Theresa Viera, founder of Modern Legal law firm in Charlotte, NC. She walks us through what the courts look for, other forms of domestic violence aside from just physical harm, and what's considered when navigating an exit strategy. She also talks about some protections & support that are available for women and survivors. And I specifically ask her what the legal take is on kidnapping concerns if you were to take your kids and leave when given the chance.
     
    Tune in today to educate yourself on what needs to be considered when leaving an abusive marriage - whether it's you who is considering leaving or a friend. We all should be empowered with this information to support one another.
     
    Are you a victim of domestic violence?
    If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. If you are in need of support for domestic violence or sexual assault in the Charlotte NC area, please call the Greater Charlotte Hope Helpline at 980-771-4673. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799-7233.
     
    For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
     
    Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
    CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
    https://JamieMilam.com 
    Instagram | LinkedIn
     
    Theresa Viera is Family Law Attorney, Certified Mediator, and Founder of Modern Legal. If you are in need of a legal consultation in NC or SC, please utilize her intake form or visit her website.
    Connect with Modern Legal on Instagram
    - - - 
    Episode Moments:
     
    00:43 Planning for Exit: Gathering Evidence and Avoiding Mistakes
    06:24 Emergency Situations and Immediate Actions
    08:15 Resources for Women Facing Financial Abuse
    11:52 Legal Protections and Privacy Concerns
    16:07 Dealing with Child Custody and Kidnapping Accusations
    24:49 Support Services and Preparing for Court Hearings
    42 min
  • 55 - Navigating Mortgage Options to Keep Your Home in a Divorce with Pam Abirached
    Keeping the marital home is a common (and major!) consideration in a divorce for those who would prefer to stay. All too often though, divorce agreements get finalized without the proper diligence being done to ensure that the intended actions can even be performed accordingly. There are several options available to homeowners to help them keep their home, but are they available and applicable to your situation??
     
    In this episode I am joined by Pam Abirached, a Certified Divorce Lending Professional™, and we discuss valuable insights into the pros and cons of each option, emphasizing the importance of understanding the timelines & inclusions necessary to ensure that your ideal outcome and your intentions can, in fact, align with what's required by the lenders. We're going to outline the various options and prepare you with action steps so that you can better strategize with your attorney for your negotiation process.
     
    For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and to access the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 
     
    Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 
    CONNECT WITH JAMIE:
    https://JamieMilam.com 
    Instagram | LinkedIn
     
    Book a complimentary mortgage consultation call with Pam Abirached
     
    Episode Moments:
    01:20 Understanding the Pros and Cons of Keeping the House and Spouse on the Loan
    05:58 The Role of Alimony and Child Support in Mortgage Qualification
    13:46 Exploring the Options for Buyout
    22:54 Sharing the Little Known Secret that Allows You to Keep Your Interest Rate
    32:20 The Importance of Early Consultation with Real Estate and Lending Professionals
    45 min
  • 54 - Options for Your House in a Divorce

    When we own a home with our spouse, it's often the biggest shared asset we have. Some of you want nothing to do with keeping the home and some of you would fight tooth and nail to keep it. But do we actually know what the options are, which are actually available to us and how to determine which may be right for us - regardless which it is that we initially want?

    In this episode I'm going to help you understand which elements of home ownership need to be considered in a divorce, what information you should gather proactively and what the actual available options are out there when it comes to your house.

    I'll share key terms to familiarize yourself with, the importance of understanding the financial obligations that can arise during your divorce and strategies for managing them effectively, and what you need to know about equity calculation, equity distribution, and possible buyout arrangements.

     

    For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 

     

    Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 

    CONNECT WITH JAMIE:

    https://JamieMilam.com 

    Instagram | LinkedIn

     

    - - - 

    Episode Moments:

     
    04:03 Importance of Exploring Options Before Legal Proceedings
     
    05:40 Understanding the Basics: Title, Deed, and Mortgage
     
    11:36 Understanding Equity and Its Role in Divorce
     
    13:11 How to Determine the Best Strategy for You
     
    17:07 Understanding the Concept of Buyout
     
    22:51 Exploring Other Options to Keep the Home
     
     
     
     

     

     

    27 min
  • 53 - How I Knew it was Time for Marriage Therapy
    In this episode, I share my personal story about the difficulties and disconnect I faced in my marriage. The struggles we face in our marriage are not an overnight issue, they're a compound of multiple little things overtime. Making a decision to engage outside help of some capacity can be hard - it can feel like we're admitting that our marriage feels a bit like it's failing or that we're finally saying it out loud that we aren't sure if we want to stay in it for the long haul. It's no wonder so many of us avoid it for as long as possible.
     
    You're not alone when it comes to feeling like something has to change in your marriage in order for you to find happiness again. The most torturous place for us can be that space of uncertainty. But making the decision to engage some therapeutic guidance, you'll find peace in knowing you are working on finding the right decision for you in what direction to take your relationship.
     
    In this episode I'll share with you how that realization came to be for me, what the signs were and what you'll get out of it for yourself regardless the outcome of your marriage. This episode emphasizes the power of listening to one's inner voice and seeking help when needed in hopes of encouraging others facing the same struggles in their relationships.
     

    For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info  

     

    Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 

    CONNECT WITH JAMIE:

    https://JamieMilam.com 

    Instagram | LinkedIn

     

    - - - 

    Episode Moments:

    03:42 The Struggles of Overcoming Past Hardships
    10:49 The Challenges of Adjusting to New Phases in Life
    20:23 The Decision to Seek Professional Help
    29:27 The Importance of Listening to Your Inner Voice
    35 min
  • 52 - **REBRAND LAUNCH** Christmas, Divorce and a PEACE of Mind

    Today is the big rebrand launch day and I couldn't be more excited to share it with you. In fact, it's my Christmas gift to you my friends.

    In this episode, I open up about my own experiences with divorce during the holiday season, and how it's evolved over the years. I share personal stories of how Christmas changed for my son and me, and discuss the emotional toll that divorce can take, especially during the holidays. 

    You'll be surprised by the statistics on divorce and the lack of resources available to support women through this tough journey.

    Additionally, I unveil the pivot of the Determined AF podcast to become the Divorced and Determined AF podcast, aimed at providing the much-needed awareness. I also introduce a FREE resource center aimed at helping women feel Prepared, Educated, Assured, Confident, and Empowered before, during and beyond the divorce process.

    Join me as we navigate these waters together, and remember: Like a phoenix, you will rise again. You can rebuild after overcoming battles. After all, you, my friend, are worthy. Let's change the narrative of divorce together. Let's uplift, educate, and support each other, always.

     

    For more information on the P.E.A.C.E. of Mind Initiative and the free resource center, please visit https://peaceofminddivorce.info 

     

    Jamie Milam is a divorcée, Realtor®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and aligned strategy enthusiast. 

    CONNECT WITH JAMIE:

    https://JamieMilam.com 

    Instagram | LinkedIn

     

    - - - 

    Episode Moments:

    00:35 Experiencing Christmas After Divorce
    05:05 The High Divorce Rates and Lack of Information
    08:29 The Need for Divorce Strategy and Self Awareness
    13:44 Launching the Peace of Mind Initiative
    16:13 Rise Like a Phoenix
    21 min
  • 51 - Awareness Leads to Aligned Opportunities **Big Announcement

    **BIG ANNOUNCEMENT**

    I've continued to stress the importance of practicing self-awareness and tuning into our body's energy to make decisions that align with our true selves. In today's episode I share a personal experience about an opportunity that came my way, and how I'm following my gut feeling and signs from my body to pursue it. This is something you can do too as you continue to work on your business plan for the upcoming year. 

    I'm making a big announcement, related to a taboo topic that I believe needs more conversation and awareness. I invite you to reach out for if you want the inside scoop before the big, official reveal. All you have to do is DM me the word PEACE on Instagram.

    Use my free Self-Awareness Mastery Guide to practice self-awareness so you can listen to your intuitive yeses and no's when making business plans.

    Show returns January 1, 2024 for Season 2!

    16 min
  • 50 - Goal Planning (pt 2) - Your Roadmap to Success
    **Part 2 Episode**
    In the second half of our goal planning discussion I'll guide you on how you can create a roadmap for success for your annual goals.
     
    We'll discuss how many priorities you should aim to focus on to hit your goal, and what elements your intended strategies should include that will lead you in the direction to achieve those priorities and your overall annual target. I'll provide some examples so you can notice the difference in your priorities versus the strategies you follow.
     
    You can expect to hear more on the importance for intention, accountability, and consistency in order to set oneself up for success.
     
    Use this Free Workbook to create your action plan to guide you through your roadmap to success!
    Connect with me on the 'gram @msjamiemilam and share your big goal with me!
     
    www.JamieMilam.com
    18 min

About Divorced & Determined AF

From the publisher's feed

The show that supports women with the information they need to know before, during and beyond divorce. Your host, Jamie Milam, is a Certified Divorce Specialist® and is determined to empower you to live the life you desire -and deserve- by helping you make informed decisions & take aligned action. Bringing you professional education, personal experiences and tangible resources you can use no matter the stage of divorce you are in.