We all have moments in our lives that we wish never happened. We’ve all been through situations that we would never want to go back and do again. And due to these difficult experiences, most of us likely have scars, physical and emotional, that we wish we didn’t have. Often times we hold on to the hurt that caused the scars; particularly when caused by other people.

In this podcast, we’re looking at how the negative events we experienced in our lives, and the negative messages we took in from other, as a way to define ourselves, left scars that we not only need to accept, but that we also need to learn to embrace.

And in the process of doing so, we’re likely to see what life lessons they hold for us. We can begin to ask ourselves, Who might you not have been today if it weren’t for the rough patches? And when we put them into their proper perspective, and see where they brought us, we might even actually begin to be grateful for them. We might even learn to love them.

In the podcast entitled, embracing diversity, we delved into the idea that it is our differences that ultimately make life more interesting and make us stronger in the long run.

But when people behave in ways that don’t fit our desires, or our cultural or societal norms, we shun them. We tend to want everyone to be the same, to fall into an accepted mold. But in doing so, we fail to realize that this would thwart our individual and collective growth. And the ironically is, for all of our differences, we are probably more alike than we realize.

In this podcast, we’re taking the idea of embracing diversity one step further. We’re learning that for as different as we all are, and as much as those differences make life interesting, when it all comes down to it, we’re far more alike than not.

And by accepting that we are more alike than not, we become better able to create lasting relationships, and a sense of belonging. We create an atmosphere where true community can exist, which fosters the kind of growth that leads us towards the life of our dreams

There are many reasons we find ourselves wishing that things were different than what they are. One is that we tend to judge most things, especially in terms of good and bad. We want to experience only what we deem good and keep the bad at bay.

We compare and despair, mistaking what we see on the outside as truth, not realizing that things aren’t often as they seem. We might begin to think that something is wrong with us. We take on a woe is me attitude and soon find ourselves down in the dumps. If asked what’s wrong, we’re likely to say we are just unhappy.

What we are ultimately talking about here are expectations. We are talking about our need for things, people, situations and life itself to show up in the manner that we desire, so that we can then be happy. And because things, people, situations and life itself often don’t show up exactly as we expect them to, we often find ourselves in a state of unhappiness.

In this podcast, we’re talking about how our need for certain outcomes, our expectations, keeps us from experiencing the sense of well being and happiness we so desire. We’re being reminded that we must stop waiting for everything to show up like we think it should and learn to take things as they come. We’re discovering that an expectation, is a premeditated resentment.

We all have our own issues that we bring to the table. In many instances, our issues clash. Each of us is playing out our issues never thinking of what affect it has on those around us. We are too absorbed own personal mythology.

In the podcast about Control, we looked the human tendency to want to hold sway over our fellow man. We talked about how we try to get those around us, especially those who we are closest to, who are different in some way, to be the people we want them to be – to believe, think and act in a manner that we deem correct.

But most people don’t like to be controlled. When it becomes obvious that this is what we are up to, they tend to put up a fight – or they play along, but do what they want to do anyway. So we have to change tactics. We find subtler ways of exerting our power over them.

In this podcast, we’re diving a little deeper into the subject of control. We’re looking at the tool many of us use to try influence others into being who we want them to be. We’re talking about manipulation, and how it may work in the short term, but in the long term, it’s usually disastrous.

It is very common for humans to see themselves a victims of circumstance. We assume the reality we experience is the direct result of myriad outside forces. We often deny the part we each play in the world in which we live.

But each and every time we hold on to the story of our past, instead of letting it go and creating something new, we think, choose and act in ways that creates an existence that supports our story. Every time we choose to see things the way we’ve always seen them, instead of being willing to alter our perspective, we more than likely create a reality that is stuck in the past. When we require life to show up in a certain way, or expect ourselves or those around us to fit a certain mode, we block all other possibilities and our life reflects it. Our failure to accept ourselves, others and life itself limits our choices; thus limiting our world. Our inability to create healthy supportive communities, ones that assists in fostering a sense of wellbeing, lead us to creating less than fulfilling lives. And history simply repeats itself.

In this podcast, we’re challenging the idea that we are at the affect of life’s circumstances and discovering that we are actually the cause of them – that we are the creators of our own reality.

Some come through life seeing themselves as victims, as unworthy, while others see themselves as stars, full of potential. And, in either case, we operate from our beliefs about ourselves through our thoughts, our choices and our actions; thus we create a world that reflects our deepest held beliefs.

Many of us try to mold other people into being who we want them to be, or expecting them to think and act as we see fit. In other words, we resort to control.

Many of us will dispute the fact that we are exhibiting controlling tendencies. We will argue that we just have another’s best interest at heart. We just want them to be happy. But in reality, we want them to conform to our world view to make ourselves happy.

In this podcast, we come to recognize control as the illusion that it is. We learn that it is best to live our lives and let others do the same.

Doing so, will likely require us to deal with some of our own fears and anxieties, but if we want to live truly happy and healthy lives, we’re going to have to do that anyway. And in the end, it allows us to form relationships based in mutual acceptance instead of everyone having to mold themselves to fit someone else’s desires.

The old saying says it’s better to give than to receive. But giving isn’t the opposite of receiving. It is part and parcel of it.

In this podcast we learn that giving and receiving are all part of the same energy; two sides of the same coin. And we discover that being of service is one of the quickest ways to attract to us what we desire for ourselves.

And this is because when we give something to someone else, our minds are forced to believe that we have that thing we are giving away—for you cannot give what you do not have.

Thus, if you want a life filled with mental, emotional and spiritual abundance, be of service. Because through service, we are reminded that doing for others is doing for ourselves.

Humans tend to fear things that are dissimilar, especially when we’ve never been exposed to these things. It is likely just part of human nature to gravitate towards those things in our comfort zones.

This tendency to stick with what we know, doesn’t serve us though. It keeps us trapped in a very small worldview. It limits our choices and options. It breeds disharmony.

In reality, we would all likely be much better off if we faced our fears of those things that are different from us. We’d find life so much easier to navigate if we just learned that diversity isn’t something to avoid, it’s something to embrace.

In this podcast we discover that diversity in people, different skin colors, different cultures, different religions, different opinions, is what makes life interesting. If we were all exactly the same, life would be monotonous. By embracing our differences, instead of trying to make everyone conform to our ways of thinking and acting, we are better able to create much more interesting lives for ourselves.

The question, “Who am I?” is as old as mankind itself. From the time we are born, we begin the process of defining who we are.

And as most of us have already discovered, the way we define ourselves is very much dependant on how others have defined us. Thus we move through life thinking this or that about ourselves because that’s who we were told we were. But living the life we desire—the life of our dreams—requires us to commence defining ourselves. I requires that we begin to discover our own answers to that age old question of “Who am I?”

In this podcast we learn just how important answering this question is. We discover the power of “I am” when we recognize that whatever we think or say that follows these two words almost always dictates the choices we make.

Thus when you stick to the same old I am’s that you’ve always fallen back on, then the life you desire, and the becoming the person you want to be, is not very likely. Because like it or not, who you think you are, at your very core, is who you become.

Our ability to think is what sets us apart from the rest of the living world. It’s the thing that allows us not just to live life, but to choose how we want to live it. It’s what lets us define life, as well as defining our place in this life.

In many ways, our thoughts are one of the greatest gifts we have been given; the ability to live life consciously. We don’t simply get to exist, we get to shape our existence.

Yet it is our greatest tool that we often wield as our biggest weapon, against others, and ourselves. The very same thing that gives us the ability to make choices, and to act on those decisions to create the lives we live, also keeps us trapped in old, and limiting, beliefs that can keep us stuck in a proverbial rut.

In this podcast we discover that when we live on autopilot, and let our thoughts run wild because that’s what they’ve always done, we shouldn’t at all be surprised that the outcomes aren’t what we want them to be.

So we must learn to monitor our thoughts. We then have to take it a step further and examine why we are thinking what we are.

We’ve got to think. And we have to begin to do so in a conscious manner. Because if our lives aren’t where we want them to be, but we’re not willing to change our thoughts, then we’re just going to remain where we are.