Do You Feel That? | A Couples Intimacy & Sex Podcast

Looking for the best sex toys for couples? Wondering what intimacy products are actually worth buying and which ones collect dust in a drawer? In this episode, Scott and Brittney share their 12 favorite couples intimacy products: the sex toys, personal lubricants, and bedroom accessories they personally use and genuinely recommend.

No sponsors. No affiliate deals. No gifted products. Just honest reviews from a real couple who happens to host one of the most candid intimacy podcasts available.

They break it down into three categories — her favorites, his favorites, and their couples picks — covering everything from vibrating cock rings and wand vibrators to male masturbators, a water-based penis pump, prostate toys, penis extenders, sensation play accessories, premium personal lubricant, a massage table, and butt plugs for beginners.

They also share the Coelle app sessions that pair perfectly with everything on the list — including their favorite eye gazing session and a new series built around sexual anticipation and couples games.

Whether you're a beginner looking for your first sex toy as a couple, or an experienced couple looking for new intimacy product recommendations — this episode gives you a curated, honest starting point from people who've actually tried them.

In this episode:

• Best vibrators for couples — including wand vibrators and vibrating cock rings
• Male sex toys worth buying — Fleshlight review, Bathmate Hydromax water pump, and more
• Best personal lubricant for couples — why Gun Oil lube makes the list
• Prostate toys for beginners — the Njoy Pure Wand explained
• Penis extenders for couples — what they are, who they're for, and why girth matters
• Butt plugs for beginners — how to start with anal play toys safely
• Sensation play accessories — feather wand and blindfold for couples
• Massage table for couples — why this unexpected pick changed their intimate life
• Coelle app recommendations — eye gazing session and couples anticipation games
• How to talk to your partner about introducing new sex toys and intimacy products

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here:

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

It's in a lot of couples' nightstands. Almost nobody talks about it honestly. Today we fix that.

In Episode 38, Scott and Brittney break down everything couples need to know about personal lubricant — the most underrated, under-discussed tool in intimacy. Not as a solution to a problem, but as an enhancement to an already good thing.

They cover all four main types: water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, and hybrid — what each one is best for, what the research says about safety and effectiveness, which use cases require which type, the ingredients worth avoiding, and the practical tips that make using lube feel like a natural part of intimacy rather than an interruption.

Plus, their honest personal takes on what they've learned, what surprised them, and what they'd tell every couple who's never opened a bottle.

In this episode:

• Why lube isn't a sign something is broken and why the stigma is completely backwards
• The anatomy reality: why natural lubrication is a variable, not a reliable indicator
• Water-based: the most versatile, the safest for toys, and why glycerin-free matters
• Silicone-based: why it's the top research choice for anal play and water use
• Oil-based: what works, what doesn't, and the condom safety rule you need to know
• Hybrid: the best of both worlds and when it makes sense
• Specific use cases: vaginal sex, anal play, toys, condoms, sensitive skin
• Ingredients to avoid and why — glycerin, parabens, numbing agents, fragrance
• Practical tips for making lube a natural part of your intimate life
• Scott & Brittney's honest takes on what they wish they'd known earlier

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here:

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

Most people rate themselves as above average in bed. Statistically, that's impossible. And the gap between how people assess their own performance and what their partner is actually experiencing is where most sexual dissatisfaction quietly lives.

In Episode 37, Scott and Brittney go somewhere most podcasts won't: the specific, research-backed patterns that make people consistently disappointing intimate partners without them having any idea. Not character flaws. Not fixed traits. Learnable, fixable patterns that nobody ever named because nobody ever taught most people what good intimacy actually requires.

Five patterns. Real research. Personal honesty from both Scott and Brittney about where they've each caught themselves. And a practical fix for each one that doesn't require a personality overhaul — just a willingness to look.

In this episode:

• Why most people overestimate their performance as intimate partners and what the research says about the actual satisfaction gap
• Pattern 1: Assuming instead of asking and why confidence and assumption are not the same thing
• Pattern 2: Treating sex as a performance rather than a collaboration
• Pattern 3: Prioritizing your own arousal timeline at the expense of your partner's
• Pattern 4: Disappearing after sex and why the ten minutes after matter as much as the encounter itself
• Pattern 5: Never updating your partner's manual 
• A practical fix for each pattern you can use this week

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here:

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

Most couples have annual physicals, quarterly financial reviews, and performance check-ins at work. Their relationship — the most important thing in their lives — gets evaluated only when something breaks.

In Episode 36, Scott and Brittney introduce the Relationship State of the Union: a structured 90-day check-in that gives couples a dedicated, intentional space to assess where they are before small things become big ones. Not a conflict conversation. Not a complaint session. A proactive, relationship-tending practice backed by research — and one that most couples wish they'd started years earlier.

They walk through exactly how to set it up, the seven questions that make it work, how to listen in a way that actually changes things, and what to do with what comes up — including what to do when it gets emotional.

By the end of this episode you'll have everything you need to schedule your first one this week.

In this episode:

• Why most couples wait too long — and what the research says about proactive relationship check-ins
• How to set up the State of the Union so it doesn't feel like an ambush or an interrogation
• The ground rules that keep it productive rather than defensive
• All 7 check-in questions — with context for what each one is really asking
• The three-tier response system: celebrate it, act on it, or flag it
• What to do when the conversation gets emotional
• How to make it a ritual you both look forward to rather than a chore you dread

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here:

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

No frameworks. No research drops. No homework. Just opinions — and our most unpopular ones.

In Episode 35, Scott and Brittney bring five genuine hot takes about sex and relationships that go against conventional wisdom, popular advice, and what most people want to hear. Then they defend every single one.

Scheduled sex is better than spontaneous sex. Most couples don't need more communication — they need better listening. The word "foreplay" should be retired. A sexless period isn't a crisis but ignoring it is. And the best thing you can do for your sex life has nothing to do with sex.

Plus a rapid-fire round of five more takes that are going to make at least one of you spill your coffee.

This is the episode you listen to on the way to dinner and spend the whole meal talking about.

In this episode:

• Hot Take #1: Scheduled sex is better than spontaneous sex — full stop
• Hot Take #2: Most couples need better listening, not more communication
• Hot Take #3: "Foreplay" is a useless and damaging category that should be retired
• Hot Take #4: A dry spell isn't a crisis — ignoring it is
• Hot Take #5: The best thing you can do for your sex life has nothing to do with sex
• Rapid fire: five more takes in 30 seconds each
• Scott & Brittney react to each other — and don't always agree

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here:

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

When couples say they want better sex, they're usually wanting three completely different things — and most of the time they don't realize they're in different conversations.

In Episode 34, Scott and Brittney introduce one of the most practically useful frameworks in intimacy: the Three Dimensions of Sex. Partner sex — the intimacy dimension, craving genuine connection with a specific known person. Trance sex — the sensation dimension, craving deep physical immersion and altered states of embodied experience. Role-play sex — the fantasy dimension, craving the freedom to inhabit a scenario or dynamic that everyday relational identity doesn't allow.

These aren't variations on the same experience. They're fundamentally different kinds of sexual satisfaction that engage different psychological systems and require different conditions. Knowing which one you primarily value — and which one your partner values — changes everything about how you understand your intimate life.

Scott and Brittney walk through all three dimensions in depth, cover every pairing combination and what each one needs to thrive, share their own primary dimensions, and offer a Coelle session recommendation for each one.

In this episode:

• Why "wanting better sex" is often three different conversations happening simultaneously
• The Partner dimension — what relational aliveness actually feels like and what kills it
• The Trance dimension — what deep physical immersion requires and why it gets shortchanged in long-term relationships
• The Role-Play dimension — why it carries stigma, what it's actually about, and what it unlocks
• Every pairing combination — best matches, trickier matches, and how to bridge the gap
• The "something's missing" diagnostic — how to identify which dimension is underserved in your relationship
• Scott & Brittney share their primary dimensions
• A Coelle session recommendation for each dimension

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here: 

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download 

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

Why do you feel anxious after really good sex? Why does your partner pull away right when things get close? Why does a dry spell feel like evidence that the relationship is falling apart — even when you know logically that it isn't?

The answer is almost always attachment.

In Episode 33, Scott and Brittney complete their personality framework trilogy — Love Languages, Enneagram, and now attachment styles — with the one that goes deepest. Attachment theory doesn't describe a preference. It describes your nervous system's blueprint for closeness, developed in childhood and running automatically in every intimate moment of your adult life.

They cover all four attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized — with specific, honest translations for what each one looks like in the bedroom, what it needs from a partner, where it gets in its own way, and which Coelle session is matched to its specific needs. Then they get personal about their own styles and what understanding them changed in their relationship.

In this episode:

• What attachment theory is and why it's more relevant to your sex life than any other framework
• Why many "libido problems" are actually attachment cycles under stress
• Secure attachment — what it looks like and why it still requires intention
• Anxious attachment — why sex becomes reassurance-seeking and what the aftermath feels like
• Avoidant attachment — why the post-sex pull-away isn't rejection, even though it feels exactly like it
• Disorganized attachment — the push-pull of wanting closeness and fearing it simultaneously
• The anxious-avoidant pairing — the pursue-withdraw cycle explained
• A Coelle session recommendation for each attachment style
• Scott & Brittney share their styles — and what they wish they'd understood earlier
• What to do with this information without turning it into a diagnosis or an excuse

Attachment Style Quiz: https://traumasolutions.com/attachment-styles-quiz/ (not affiliated in any way)

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here: 

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download 

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

You know your Enneagram number. But do you know what it's been quietly telling you about what you need in bed?

Following the success of last week's Love Languages episode, Scott and Brittney go deeper with the framework that actually explains why you want what you want — not just what you want. The Enneagram goes beyond behavior into motivation, which makes it uniquely revealing when applied to intimacy.

In Episode 32, they walk through all nine Enneagram types — what each one needs in intimate relationships, what they bring to a partner, where they get in their own way, what growth looks like for each type, and which Coelle session is built for exactly what they need. Then they share their own types and what they recognized about themselves and each other.

If you and your partner have different numbers — this episode explains some things.

In this episode:

• Why the Enneagram works differently than other personality frameworks for understanding intimacy
• The key split: which types need emotional connection first, and which can separate sex from love
• All nine types — core drive, what they need in bed, what they bring, their growth edge, and a Coelle session recommendation
• Why Type 1s are secretly more adventurous than anyone thinks
• Why Type 2s struggle to ask for what they want — and what happens when they do
• Why Type 3s fuse sex with self-worth — and how that creates performance pressure
• Why Type 9s self-forget in bed — and what a partner can do about it
• Scott & Brittney share their types and what they recognized about each other
• The one question to ask your partner before you go to sleep tonight

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here: 

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download 

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

You know your love language. But do you know what it looks like in bed?

In Episode 31, Scott and Brittney take Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages — one of the most widely recognized relationship frameworks in the world — and translate each one specifically into what it looks like during intimacy. Not in general. In the bedroom.

Because there's a massive gap between knowing your love language and knowing what your partner actually needs sexually. This episode closes that gap.

They walk through all five — words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts — with specific, honest translations for each one. Then they share their own love languages and what they look like in their intimate life.

This one is practical, a little spicy, and gives you something to talk about with your partner before the episode ends.

In this episode:

• Why knowing your love language is just the starting point — not the answer
• Words of affirmation: why silence reads as absence, and what verbal intimacy actually sounds like
• Quality time: why presence during sex matters more than duration
• Physical touch: why HOW you touch matters as much as THAT you touch
• Acts of service: the most underappreciated love language in the sexual context
• Receiving gifts: why it has nothing to do with money and everything to do with thoughtfulness
• Scott & Brittney share their own love languages — and what they look like during intimacy

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here: 

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download 

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching

No research drops. No homework. Just a game — and a surprisingly revealing one.

In Episode 30, Scott and Brittney play Would You Rather: Couples Intimacy Edition. Fifteen questions, real-time answers, zero prep — and more than a few moments where one of them surprises the other.

Would you rather have amazing sex once a month or good sex three times a week? Would you rather know every fantasy your partner has ever had — or have them know all of yours? Would you rather spend the rest of your relationship never talking about sex — or talking about it so openly it occasionally gets uncomfortable?

This one is meant to be listened to together. Pause after each question. Answer out loud. See what comes up.

In this episode:

• 15 Would You Rather questions across four rounds — warm up, spicy, revealing, and the final three
• Scott & Brittney's live, unscripted answers — including the ones that actually surprised each other
• Why forced-choice questions surface preferences that open-ended ones never do
• The one thing to do after the episode ends

Remember — intimacy is not automatic... it's guided.

Couples Intimacy Resources

Looking to improve your sex life, strengthen your marriage, or deepen intimacy in your relationship?

Download Coelle, our guided audio intimacy app for couples, designed to strengthen communication, build confidence, and support emotional and physical connection.

For personalized support, Scott offers Sex & Intimacy Coaching focused on marriage, desire differences, and building stronger sexual confidence.

Explore both here: 

Download the App: https://www.coelle.app/download 

Book a Free Discovery Call: https://www.coelle.app/sex-intimacy-coaching