Do You Have A Couple Of Minutes

At some time, we've probably heard someone say, "I never thought of it that way" or "I never looked at it like that."  Within those few words, we begin to understand the importance of experience and the diversity of that experience.  Diversity of experience can help to keep us safe, it can help to enrich our own experience, it can provide a springboard for new opportunities, it can help us relate better with others because it enhances our frame of reference to better understand and interact with the world and the people around us.  The more we learn about the differences in what surrounds us and what is beyond our surroundings, the greater our opportunity to make better decisions for ourselves and others, for the present and the future.

About last night...yes, I'm talking about the assault and violence that took place at the 2022 Oscars.  And whether you side with defending the action as one of defense and honor, the fact is that there was some physical assault. Preceding the physical assault, there was some history and a joke that might also be perceived as a verbal and mental assault given the circumstances.  So, once again we learn that two wrongs don't make a right...they just extend the circumstances.  However, we also see that some good can be gleaned from this situation, there is lots of learning...and that's the perspective I want to take.

Here's what I learned:

Sometimes we say things that don't add up.  For example, when we require discretionary effort.  If there is discretion in whether or not the effort is applied, does it reason that discretion is really being exercised if the effort being exerted is required?  If there is no real decision or the decision comes with an imposed consequence, that doesn't seem to meet the standard of "discretionary."  But beyond this, there is a deeper level to look at, and that is the quality of the effort exerted which is based on where the effort was born.  There is a saying that if you love the work you do, it will never really seem like work.  Why is that?  Because it comes from a place of passion and engagement.  When one is watching the clock because "discretionary time" is required, the engagement is likely not as strong and may be reflected in the outcome.  Perhaps a change in focus and perspective is warranted.  What is it that might illicit love of the work, duty, or behavior?  Within that answer lies the gold outcome from true discretionary effort.

When it comes to organizations and relationships, it's important to do the work behind getting the culture right in order to support the outcomes that we desire.  When we try to replicate the outcome without understanding the support system, values, and philosophies behind that outcome, it may be not only difficult to replicate but difficult to maintain for the positive impact that is desired.  Be intentional about what matters, what is valued, important, how it impacts the world around you and the outcome.  Start with the culture, it's an inside job.

Rewarding what we want to be repeated is a great idea, but is it what we really do?  Do we reward the perseverance extended to get to success or do we reward success without regard of how the arrival took place?  Do we reward virtues of courage, risktaking, and courage?  Do we reward great leadership or do we give accolades to a tyrant?  Do we take time to dwell on the preferred process and goal versus the decision process used to make good decisions?  if we want things to change and improve for the greater good, we must acknowledge the process and reward the behaviors and virtues we wish to be repeated.

In our busy world, there are a lot of "Check-ins" that allow us to check the box that we have been here or there.  But what about not being driven by FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and instead allowing ourselves to truly be present, to show up, to connect - being seen and seeing others.  Or event to enjoy a present moment with ourselves. Belonging, Relationship, even truly understanding who we are as individuals, these things take intention, time, effort, presence.  Be Present, Show-Up, Connect!

Professor Dr. Lewis R. Aiken shared a gem of wisdom one class session: "No one cares as much about your business as you do." There are two perspectives to this statement, one being that we must check our egos because the world does not revolve around us, and the other being that we should mind our lives because we are the ones living them and so should take care. Scott Smith, the creative genius behind the podcast The Daily Boost, starts each week by asking "Have you done your homework?"  And explains we should take inventory of what is going well in our lives, where change is needed, and, then take action to make that change.  It's the same idea, that what we are doing and how we are doing should be important enough to us to take action and take control over the things we can to move in the direction we want to go. We must not take a spectator role in our own lives or live a life that is patterned for someone else, we must take time to think about how we'd like our lives to go, set goals, and then make choices that support and reach those goals.

Coaches help to hone potential.  Coaches help identify and uncover talent. 

Believe in yourself and Help others to do the same.  Maybe this is a bit easier said than done.  However, when we believe in ourselves we can muster the courage to try new things and progress toward our goals.  True confidence is not puffed up or conceited, it is based in truth and belief that we can impact our experience and destiny.  So many times people see things in us that we have overlooked in ourselves.  So we owe it to ourselves to understand the truths of our capabilities and passions and to develop them.  And then, armed with confidence, we can encourage others to realize the uniqueness they also have that can be realized, and shared to enhance our collective experience.  Believe in yourself, it's a superpower.

The Book entitled The Four Agreements had a huge impact on me.  One of the Agreements is to Be Impeccable with Your Word.  This reminds us that words are power and are important.  Words can encourage and they can discourage, they can hurt and they can heal.  We must use our words intentionally and carefully.