Do You Have A Couple Of Minutes

A successful life doesn't occur overnight.  It is built over time, just as physical muscles of the body must develop over time through repetition and intention, so must our success muscles be developed if they are to last.  There was a show on TV that took successful people and gave them limited resources, if any, to accomplish a task, typically a task that had to do with financial gain.  To the average person, the task would seem nearly impossible.  However, for the people on the show, the challenge could be overcome, because they had the experience to move things forward and they were committed to finishing the challenge.  One of the muscles each person on the show had developed was "commitment."  Commitment is a muscle of success.  When one is committed, they show up and have an attitude of willingness to keep moving things forward and to keep showing up.  Commitment can also be contagious.  It is important that we learn what commitment takes, and how it feels, as the road to success often has naysayers and difficult obstacles.  Commitment requires us to know what we want, understand how our desires along with our values, and to focus on moving toward our goals. So as you think about living your best life, think about your consistency around being committed to your own success, and remember, in your commitment you are working out a success muscle that will serve you well into the future, and likely allow you to help others. 

Today I experienced another flight delay, so I recorded from the airport.  This week I want to talk about the importance of failure in building the muscles for success.  However, today I take time to speak about going with the flow when plans get altered.  The way I approach changes in my plan is that there is something to be learned, shared, or experienced.  Basically, I try to stay in the fullness of the moment.  When I am successful at doing this, there is a sense of satisfaction and significance.  I encourage you to try this approach the next time your plans change.  

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This week we've talked about the importance of connections in helping us to grow in authenticity and to help others do the same.  We've talked about sharing experiences in connection and the benefits that can provide.  I'd like to wrap up the week with a reminder about the transference of connections and the comforts they can bring. In life change is constant, new roles at work, new workgroups, moves in our personal lives, changes when a friend moves away or a loved one passes.  It's at these times of change that we can understand the impact and importance of connections as a basis for us to grow through change.  We may recall the wise counsel of those who bestowed their learning and enlightened us with their understanding.  We may be comforted by memories, sometimes memories that we were not even a part of, but that brings some joy or resolve.  This week I experienced making new connections that i look forward to doing more of life with, and I made new connections that have come for a short season to share stories about a mutual acquaintance that recently passed away.  Those stories brought joy and comfort in the recounting and the hearing.  So, remember that connections in authenticity are a true benefit and the benefits of that connection can be shared with others.  I hope you've enjoyed this week's topic on connections and that you're inspired to go back and listen to any sessions you missed, the links are posted in the notes, and share the sessions you liked.  Thank you for taking the time to connect with me here. 

https://anchor.fm/petrina-gooch7/episodes/Episode-58-How-Do-We-Connect-e1hg7u2

https://anchor.fm/petrina-gooch7/episodes/Episode-57---Who-makes-a-good-connection-e1hf2gr

https://anchor.fm/petrina-gooch7/episodes/Episode-56-Connections-Help-Us-to-See-e1hdj31

https://anchor.fm/petrina-gooch7/episodes/Episode-55-Connection-of-Thoughts-e1hbvv1

Let's continue our talk on connectors and connections.  How we connect has a great deal to do with the strength and value of our connections.  Think about your strongest connections, they are likely people with whom you have shared or common experiences or interests.  I enjoy a good reality TV show, and I think it is because they are all thrown into a shared experience and have to figure out the best way to proceed.  However, the 24/7 nature of the setting makes it hard to be inauthentic 100% of the time and the participants always seem to seek out someone with whom they can be authentic or who they think is being authentic.  There is value in authenticity, it allows us to quickly get to the nature of a situation and it allows us to do life together better.  People can look out for our needs and we can look out for theirs when we are authentic.  We can defend authenticity, we can also be our full and best selves in authenticity.  Authenticity does not mean you don't have a situational filter, it just means you are consistently your best you in any given situation.  Authenticity can be uncomfortable when you are not used to it, and it can also be satisfying to know you did not compromise who you are.  Being authentic with our connections is not for the faint of heart, but it can help build trustworthy relationships that allow you to reach higher and go farther.

Are the best connections people that are very similar to us or people that are not similar?  Perhaps it is worth noting that every person is unique, no matter how similar they seem and every person has some similarities no matter how dissimilar they seem.  The value of connections usually lies in the strength of the relationship.  The strength of the relationship is tested over time and there is usually some adjustment that is needed in relationships or connections to make them work.  Earlier today I was thinking of the relationship between building materials as a metaphor.  A screw must be tightly screwed in for it to be effective in relationship with the material it is to hold together.  A nail also has some force and friction to achieve its greatest value.  Our relationships and connections go through similar adjustments in order to complement one another and reach our highest potential. Like puzzle pieces, even when it is a perfect match between two pieces, there is some tension or glue needed to hold the pieces in place.  So perhaps the answer is anyone can be a best connection if they help to bring out the best in one another.  Don't forget that sometimes things are meant to last a lifetime and sometimes they are meant to last a season, and the value of both is significant to our journeys.

Continuing the theme of connections.  Connections are important because they help us to see. Probably most important they help us to see ourselves in the reflection of others. Those around us can help us to identify abilities, patterns, and themes about ourselves, ironically allowing us to get to know ourselves better.  We must not blindly take on labels, but we can go through self-exploration and explore who we truly are in our fullness, how we add the greatest value, and what truly makes us feel like we are living life in abundance.  We must be willing to seek out the information, mine the information, and apply our learning to realize the clarity that can come through connections.  I am reminded of the Wizard of Oz and a line in a song, that says "Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man, that he didn't already have.'  Yet the traveling companions and OZ were the connections the Tin Man needed to see something he already had. 

Not all connections are "good" per se, but for the most part, they all provide some aspect of learning and honing our discernment skills.  Many people say that you are the sum of those around you, and while I won't argue that point, I will encourage you to learn about yourself from those around you.  how do people interact with you in various settings?  What kinds of matters do people call on you to engage in?   If we take the time, our connections with others can help us to see things that we might not otherwise have noticed.

When I think about connection I think about people's relationships, but what I really like to think about is the connectedness of all things. there are so many lessons to be learned in the connective nature of things.  The key is that the connection is not always so obvious if we are not looking for it.  So we must look for it and in the connection, we will find value.  Perhaps what others think is an occasional coincidence, we can realize as something always present with a stronger bond. The connectedness of things brings compliments.  Sometimes it is a balance of weak and strong, short and long, high and low.  There is connective nature to our thought, sometimes to solve problems and sometimes a level of creativity that brings forth beauty.  You've likely spent time thinking on something and it seems that there is more information and clarity that comes about as the thoughts begin to connect to one another.  There is power and energy in our creative thoughts and ideas.  So I encourage you to look for the connections between things, thoughts, place, and time - it may help you experience life more fully and to appreciate the uniqueness of our paths that creates connectedness like individual pieces of a puzzle coming together to reveal something magnificent.

When I was young a wise person said to me that if I did not have a plan for myself, I would be a part of someone else's plan for their gain.  This was about taking the lead in your own life, figuring out the direction you want to go and influencing matters, and doing the hard work to make it happen.  Over the years that has stuck with me and given me pause from time to time to check in on my plan.  Over the years, plans have gone on hold, they have morphed and changed, and they have been achieved and replaced by new plans.  Plans have provided direction and focus. There are those who have tried to sabotage my plans, and even so, I have found that having a plan allows you to continue to steer toward the goal, even if the pathway has some unexpected turns and detours.  the path is not always easy, and the course correction sometimes requires more effort than at other times, but the plan provides a great reference point  Finally, I have found that flexibility in reference to the plan is important.  The detours can provide unexpected opportunities that propel you more quickly toward the plan or help shift focus in a way that is more beneficial or impactful than previously anticipated. 

So today I remind you to play the lead role in the plan that you create for yourself. Be flexible as you move toward your goals, and enjoy and take advantage of the gifts throughout the journey.

Who we are surrounded by matters.  It gives us a chance to influence and to be influenced.  In business and personal life, the amount of intention we put toward who surrounds us is important.  Proximity has the ability to impact our lives positively and negatively.  It's a simple notion that plays out throughout our lives.  As a school-age child, I often had the privilege of showing new students around, getting to know them while introducing them to others. I didn't really think much of it until one of my classmates thanked me years later for introducing her to folks that became good friends and enhanced her school experience for the better.  I remember being a little shocked by the positive impact that small gesture of introducing her to others had invoked. Today, as a business professional and observer of human behavior, I continue to see the impact of proximity.  For much of my career, I was one of the first people new hires would meet and I understood the impact of the onboarding process relative to the initial formation of supportive connections and relationships in the organization.  People make decisions to mimic leaders and to avoid behaviors of leaders they disdain. Who we spend time with matters and we can learn from every situation.  Our life experience is enhanced when we have opportunities to spend time with people that are in different seasons of life, people that have had different life experiences, and when we are able to experience different places and spaces. We can gain a better understanding when we have a greater perspective and are open to change.

So, be intentional about who surrounds you.  Be intentional about who you introduce to your teams.  Be intentional about the experiences that you afford your team or your family. Share, learn, grow, and enjoy the experience that comes with the rich variety around us.

Recently I became the recipient of an incredible gift.  It was the kind of gift that gets more valuable with time and use. It was a gift that I knew others could benefit from, but I found myself worried about the packaging.  I was really worried, that because of the packaging others might overlook this valuable gift that could be so transformational. I tried to rationalize that just as I had become a recipient of the gift others would, too, but I caught myself really concerned about how many times this incredible gift might be overlooked by those that could really benefit from it.  I shared my thoughts with a few people who seemed to agree about the packaging and that it might get overlooked, but they didn't seem too bothered by it.  And then it hit me, that my concern about the packaging was really meant for me to think about how I might package this gift I had received and share it with others so that they too could be a beneficiary and gift this incredible gift.  In our business and personal lives, the lessons we learn come in different seasons, packaged in many ways.  Our job is to not get hung up on the packaging but to learn the lessons and share those lessons with others so that they too can be the wiser and spread the legacy of wisdom with humanity.  So, I challenge you, not to get hung up on the vessel of the packaging and lose sight of the incredible gift it successfully delivered for our benefit.