Have you ever been around someone who made you feel like your feelings actually mattered? Or tried for months to get through to someone you love, only to catch one brief moment where they let you in?

That is exactly what this episode is about. Candace and Jason VanRuler are back to continue the PATHS series, and this week they go deep on the two communication types that might be the most misunderstood: Harbor and Spark.

Jason opens up about being a Harbor himself — the feeler of the group, the one who makes space for everyone else's emotions and often forgets to need that space too. He shares the story of a therapist on a bus who had spent a career being a Harbor for others and had never once had one for herself. The loneliness in that is real, and so is the beauty of what a Harbor offers when it's healthy. They also talk about the wound that often shapes a Harbor: being a kid whose feelings just didn't get to matter.

Then there's the Spark — the one who lights up a room, gets every conversation going, and sometimes vanishes the moment things get heavy. Candace and Jason talk about what it actually takes to reach a Spark in a real relationship, and Candace shares what her husband has taught her about patience, cigars on the patio, and the one-in-three conversations that open everything up.

Two listener questions round out the episode: one about a three-year-old who worries too much, and one from a mom who feels like she's losing her twelve-year-old.

Download the free Healthy Connection Guide and join the Together Community at candace.com. Sign up for email updates at candace.com.

Life is like a rollercoaster, but it's better when we go through it together!

Connect with Candace and Jason 

Candace on Instagram @candacecbure 

Follow the Podcast on Instagram @candacecameronburepodcast 

Follow the Podcast on TikTok @ccbpodcast

Jason on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jason.vanruler/

Jason on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/Jasonvrcounselor

Website: https://www.jasonvr.com/

Sponsors For This Episode

IFCJ ifcj.com 

PHD myphdweightloss.com and call #864-644-1900 and mention Candace. 

316 Financial https://bank316.com/candace-cameron-bure

GCU gcu.edu

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