Doing What Works

Every time I sit down to write I think, “I’ve got nothing.” The same with the show: “There’s nothing left to cover.” Katie knows I power through anyway -- she helps! -- and we share how in this edition of Doing What Works.

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Rick Rubin’s The Creative Act might help you trust what you already know.

Steven Pressfield might help you defeat Resistance, but the struggle will be daily.

The Rookie might help you remember it isn’t too late.

Anne Lamott might inspire you to see the value in not-at-all-perfect first drafts.

When someone who self-identifies as frugal offers to buy you a sixteen-dollar pretzel, wouldn’t you be touched? Katie was, but she was also sad. That was nine years ago, she’s still sad, and this edition of Doing What Works is a study in wistful.

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What is a weird kind of sad?

Are you ready for kindergarten?

What strikes you about your scrapbooks, journal entries, or photo albums? This edition of Doing What Works is an ode to the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.

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Even if you don’t keep a journal, your body remembers trauma.

Are you a Rememberer or a Forgetter?

Like rivers, people change.

Letting people be is a superpower, one that’s put to the test when relationships end. We redefine closure in this edition of Doing What Works in the hope pragmatism will prevail.

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Their behavior was your closure, because if they wanted to act differently they would have.

Closure is something you give yourself.

Like rivers, people change.

“There are only two questions people have fought about since the beginning of time: ‘How much do you love me?’ and ‘Who’s in charge?’”

The unsettling secret of lasting love.

People act when forced to act.

Volunteer work, donations, even taking in stray animals or people. So many ways to give back to the world. How do you choose where best to spend your time, money, and attention? We have the answer in this edition of Doing What Works.

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The power of lollipop moments!

Dick Bolles said if you search for half your vision with half your heart, you fail before you start.  

Debbie Millman suggests you start with a big, fat lump in your throat.

Boys State is on Apple TV+.

“Wake Me Up” is my Katie-goes-to-college song.

No character transformation, no story.

A thirst for useless information, a quest to be right, the willingness to be wrong. We follow our curiosity about curiosity in this edition of Doing What Works.

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Store things at the store.

Are you a Rememberer or a Forgetter?

Two movies on one screen.

Advice from Keanu Reeves for when someone mistreats you.

The magic you’re looking for is in the work you’re avoiding.

Blind spots are, by definition, difficult to challenge. Katie and I rise to the occasion in this edition of Doing What Works.

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Do you remember the “Marine Biologist” scene from Seinfeld?

“Don’t make assumptions” is one of the agreements in The Four Agreements.

David Foster Wallace’s This Is Water might inspire you to be less judgmental.

The “thirty seconds or fewer” kindness rule.

High levels of positive illusion can help you sustain long-term romantic relationships.

“The Gell-Mann Amnesia Effect is a phenomenon where individuals trust media information despite recognizing its inaccuracies in their areas of expertise.”

Happily ever after isn’t guaranteed, and closure’s often elusive. True in movies, true in life. Some of us are more comfortable with ambiguity than others, and that’s why hijinks ensue in this edition of Doing What Works. Can’t say more without spoiling the ending!

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Beautiful Country is a beautiful book with a beautiful ending.

Cheryl Strayed’s Wild became a movie I ruined by knowing too much about how it was made.  

Nothing could spoil Friday Night Lights for me; no one spoiled Hamilton for Katie.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show had a perfect ending, as did Staying the Course and Left for Dead.  

Steven Pressfield has become a cheerleader for creative types.

Ever since Katie made a solo bike trip from Brooklyn to Albany and back she’s been plotting her next big adventure, and she’ll take you on a new ride in this edition of Doing What Works.

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“Choose the bigger life.”

Lightning McQueening bugs, where your face is the windshield, is from Cars.

I’m a sucker for anyone who doubles over with laughter at my observations, waits patiently for me to get ready, or talks me down off a ledge that’s all of four inches high. What about you? Love is Katie’s core value, one reason she’s the perfect host for a discussion of love in this edition of Doing What Works.

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“Love is the quality of attention we pay to things.”

Jonathan Haidt says your attention is the most precious thing you have.

Laughter is glue.

Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness says love is action.