Done Pretending

Family dynamics have a way of following us into adulthood, especially when childhood pressure, unspoken rules, and complicated relationships are part of the story. I open up a real conversation about how those early experiences shape our identity, our choices, and who we trust when things get hard. We talk about why having the right support system is often the difference between staying stuck and actually moving forward.

I sat down with my close friend Brent Mortensen, a father of four from Boise, Idaho, and the Founder of The Loop Method, a practical system for mastering pressure, rebuilding identity, and making clear decisions under stress. Brent is also the creator of the Quantum Helix Platform (QHP), a wealth strategy built to turn complexity into durable, scalable outcomes by blending neuroscience, identity, and execution. He shares how his own personal struggles pushed him to build tools that help people think clearly and stay grounded when life feels overwhelming.

We get honest about family pain, including what it was like for Brent to be disowned for speaking his truth and how that reshaped his sense of self. We also talk about processing emotions without getting consumed by them, and why healing isn’t about rushing to an endpoint. If you’ve ever felt crushed by pressure, unsure where you belong, or hesitant to use your voice, this conversation is for you.

Key Timestamps:

[00:00:00] Introduction.

[00:03:12] Finding the right support.

[00:07:16] Trust in friendships.

[00:10:00] Family dynamics and trauma.

[00:12:23] Family impact on personal identity.

[00:15:46] The power of forgiveness.

[00:20:13] Emotional connection in leadership.

[00:24:54] Helping the underestimated.

Memorable Quotes:

"When you can be present with the person and see them, that person now sees the CEO or the leader as a person that's safe and they feel much better and they are much more productive." [00:21:40] – Brent Mortensen

"That's the awe and wonder of life is accepting where your path is taking you and enjoying that journey the whole way." [00:27:03] – Brent Mortensen

Join our FREE Skool Community: https://www.skool.com/done-pretending-susan-houston-4882

Connect with Brent Mortensen:

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mortensenmethod

LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/brent-mortensen

Twitter/X: https://x.com/mortensenloop

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@mortensenmethodtheloop

Connect with Susan Houston:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Produced by Evolved Podcasting: www.evolvedpodcasting.com

The end of the year has a quiet way of asking us to pause, even when the world is telling us to hurry up and move on. Before I jump headfirst into 2026, I wanted to sit with what 2025 actually brought up for me and why that matters more than another list of resolutions. In this episode, I talk about why reflection is a necessary part of moving forward. If you’ve ever felt tired before February even hits, this conversation will feel familiar.

I share why our brains naturally look for closure and how carrying unresolved emotions into a new year can quietly drain our energy and focus. I also talk about the Year of the Snake and what it really means to shed old identities, habits, and expectations that no longer fit. I walk you through simple but powerful questions to help you notice what you’re ready to release before setting intentions for 2026. 

This episode is a gentle reminder that slowing down is not falling behind. I talk honestly about why putting yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s how real growth happens. Together, we create space to let go of pressure, self-judgment, and the need to have everything figured out. If you want to start the new year feeling grounded, clear, and more like yourself, this one’s for you.

Key Timestamps: 

[00:00:00] Introduction.

[00:00:21] Closure and moving forward.

[00:08:12] Shedding old identities for growth.

[00:10:45] True self and purpose.

Memorable Quotes:

"Some of you are exhausted because you're still wearing an identity that once protected you, and it no longer fits." [00:06:00] – Susan Houston

"You cannot move powerfully forward with dragging all of this emotional weight behind you. Unreleased baggage does not fuel your momentum. It will turn your momentum into burnout." [00:09:18] – Susan Houston

Join our FREE Skool Community:  https://www.skool.com/done-pretending-susan-houston-4882

Connect with Susan Houston:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Produced by Evolved Podcasting: https://www.evolvedpodcasting.com

Being around people doesn’t always mean you feel connected, and that quiet kind of loneliness can sneak up on you fast. I’m talking about crowded loneliness, those moments when you’re in a room full of people but still feel invisible or out of place. I share some very real experiences where I felt that disconnect firsthand, even when I thought I “should” feel connected. This conversation starts by naming that feeling and reminding you there’s nothing wrong with you for having it.

We also get into what’s actually happening beneath the surface, including the science of loneliness and how your nervous system reacts in social settings. I break down why feeling disconnected isn’t a mindset problem or a personal flaw, but often a biological response to not feeling safe or understood. You’ll learn how to spot those signals in your own body and why awareness alone can be a powerful first step. It’s about understanding yourself better, not fixing yourself.

From there, I share practical ways to create deeper, more meaningful connections without forcing it or pretending. We talk about finding safe people, having more honest conversations, and shifting away from surface-level interactions that leave you drained. These are simple, real-life tools you can start using right away. 

Key Timestamps: 

[00:00:00] Introduction.

[00:03:10] Proximity does not guarantee connection.

[00:04:50] The dilemma of crowded loneliness. 

[00:06:35] Why does modern life supercharge loneliness?

[00:08:34] Breaking the patterns of loneliness.

[00:12:04] You are not odd nor broken.

Memorable Quotes:

"Connection isn't about quantity, it's about depth, and your brain definitely knows the difference." [00:05:10] – Susan Houston

"Connection is not about being surrounded by people. It's about being seen." [00:12:41] – Susan Houston

Join our FREE Skool Community: https://www.skool.com/done-pretending-susan-houston-4882

Connect with Susan Houston:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Produced by Evolved Podcasting: https://www.evolvedpodcasting.com

Healing is rarely neat or linear, and most of the time it doesn’t look like progress at all. I talk about what it’s really like to begin healing when you still feel messy, unsure, and very much in the middle of things. This episode is a reminder that you don’t need to look healed to start healing. If you’ve ever thought, “I should be further along by now,” this conversation is for you.

I share a simple but powerful shift that changed how I see healing: readiness doesn’t come first, healing does. We talk about why our culture’s obsession with before-and-after stories can quietly keep us stuck. I also reflect on how breakdowns can hold clarity we don’t see until later. 

You’ll hear three practical things you can do today, even if you’re exhausted or overwhelmed. I talk about naming one struggle, offering your body one small kindness, and reaching for connection without pressure. These aren’t big fixes, but they’re small moments that create movement. If your healing feels invisible right now, I want you to know it still counts.

Key Timestamps: 

[00:00:00] Introduction.

[00:01:14] Healing begins in the mess.

[00:04:26] The readiness myth of healing.

[00:09:56] Healing is an internal process.

[00:14:06] Healing through self-care actions.

[00:20:36] Healing in connection.

[00:23:18] Healing through breaking open.

Memorable Quotes:

"Healing does not begin when you're ready. Healing creates readiness." [00:05:43] – Susan Houston

"The absence of visible progress is not the absence of progress." [00:10:35] – Susan Houston

Join our FREE Skool Community:  https://www.skool.com/done-pretending-susan-houston-4882

Connect with Susan Houston:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Produced by Evolved Podcasting: https://www.evolvedpodcasting.com

The holidays have a way of pulling us right back into old roles, especially when family dynamics start testing your patience and your sense of self. I talk about how to stay grounded and calm in the middle of the chaos, using simple, science-backed tools that actually work when emotions run high. If you’ve ever felt judged, triggered, or completely exhausted after a family gathering, this will feel very familiar.

I share how to spot your personal triggers before you walk through the door and what you can do to mentally prepare for those predictable moments. We get into practical ways to calm your nervous system in real time, so you’re not snapping, shutting down, or people-pleasing. I also walk through how to set boundaries that are kind but firm, without turning dinner into a debate or a blowup.

We even talk about what happens after the gathering, because that part matters too. I’ll show you how to reflect in a way that helps you grow instead of replaying everything you said or wish you’d said. This episode is about staying true to who you’ve become, even when family dynamics try to pull you back into old versions of yourself.

Key Timestamps: 

[00:00:00] Introduction.

[00:01:24] Family drama during the holidays.

[00:06:41] Boundary strategies for conflict prevention.

[00:11:47] Mental labeling for emotional regulation.

[00:15:20] Grounding techniques for stress relief.

[00:20:48] Debriefing after events.

Memorable Quotes:

"Judgment is someone else's projection. Usually, it's a projection of their fears or their inward problems that they haven't dealt with." [00:09:13] – Susan Houston

"You don't go home for the holidays to prove who you are. You go to practice staying who you've become." [00:21:59] – Susan Houston

Join our FREE Skool Community: https://www.skool.com/done-pretending-susan-houston-4882

Connect with Susan Houston:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Produced by Evolved Podcasting: www.evolvedpodcasting.com

It still amazes me how our brains shift the moment we stop pretending and start showing up as our real selves, and I share a little story about that spark of authenticity that changes everything. In this episode, I break down the brain science behind being true to yourself: how self-awareness, emotional regulation, and social prediction work together in everyday life. You’ll hear how understanding these processes makes navigating work, relationships, and even tough conversations feel a lot less confusing. My goal is to make all of this feel accessible and surprisingly encouraging.

I also open up about the fear that comes with choosing authenticity, especially when your brain is wired to avoid rejection at all costs. We talk about why people react the way they do when you start growing, and why some relationships stretch while others snap back. When you understand the neuroscience behind those reactions, it becomes a lot easier to take things less personally. And honestly, it brings a whole new level of calm to the process.

To wrap things up, I share the real-life benefits I’ve seen: clearer mental space, deeper relationships, and that quiet relief of not pretending anymore. You’ll hear some practical ways to stay grounded when the people you love don’t quite understand the changes you’re making. And I leave you with one small, doable step you can take today to get closer to your truest, most comfortable self. Because you deserve connections that feel safe, supportive, and aligned with who you really are.

Key Timestamps:

[00:00:00] Introduction.

[00:02:09] 3 brain processes for developing authenticity.

[00:04:24] Why do people react when you change?

[00:07:05] Benefits of becoming your true self.

[00:11:11] What to do when loved ones disapprove of your growth?

[00:16:21] Building a life on authenticity.

Memorable Quotes:

"Authenticity can cost you, but it can also save you." [00:10:59] – Susan Houston

"Here's the truth that psychologists and neuroscientists consistently return to: being your true self and not hiding anymore, it's not about losing people. It's about finding the people who can stay and who can lift you up." [00:16:31] – Susan Houston

Connect with Susan Houston:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Produced by Evolved Podcasting: www.evolvedpodcasting.com

It’s wild how much judgment, both fearing it and dishing it out, can quietly shape our lives without us realizing it. Today, I’m breaking down how those tiny moments of “What will they think?” slowly pull us away from who we really are. You’ll hear the real reasons we start shrinking ourselves to fit other people’s comfort zones and why it leaves us feeling disconnected and exhausted. This episode is a gentle nudge to notice where judgment shows up in your day and what it might be costing you.

I talk about how easy it is to become a collage of other people’s opinions, and how hard it can be to remember who you are when no one else is watching. You’ll learn the physical and emotional signs that judgment has been running the show, plus the surprising ways judging others weighs us down, too. I share a few stories from my own life, so you can hear how this plays out in real time, and not just in theory. My goal is to make these patterns feel familiar enough that you can spot them in your own world.

By the end, I’ll walk you through simple things you can try this week to build confidence and soften the fear of being judged. These small steps really do add up and help you create proof that being seen, messy, bold, or opinionated, is survivable. You’ll get a few grounding reminders to support your most authentic self, without pressure or perfection. If you’re craving a little more freedom and a lot less second-guessing, you’ll feel right at home in this conversation.

Key Timestamps:

[00:00:00] Introduction.

[00:01:14] The cost of judgment.

[00:09:18] Body image issues and judgments.

[00:14:30] Overcoming fear of judgment.

[00:19:01] Judgment and personal growth.

Memorable Quotes:

"You have to ask yourself, who am I when no one is watching? If you can't answer that question, you're living someone else's life." [00:07:17] – Susan Houston

"This version of you needs to be unedited, unapologetic, but it's always more powerful than any performance that you could ever be." [00:18:43] – Susan Houston

Connect with Susan Houston:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Join our FREE Skool Community and get instant access to the 30-Day Freedom from Judgment Tracker, the tool that helps you break free from what's holding you back and step into your calling.

👉 Join here:  https://www.skool.com/done-pretending-susan-houston-4882

Produced by Evolved Podcasting: www.evolvedpodcasting.com

I’ve spent so much of my life trying to outrun other people’s opinions, and in this episode, I open up about the moment I finally realized I was done pretending. I share the childhood memory that taught me how quickly judgment can shape the way we shrink or show up. You’ll hear how that old story followed me into adulthood and built a life that looked “fine” but didn’t feel aligned. And you’ll get a real, honest look at what pushed me to start this podcast.

I talk through how judgment sneaks into our daily choices and keeps us playing small without even noticing. You’ll learn three simple steps I use to break that pattern and practice showing up more fully in my own life. I also share the mindset shifts that helped me clear out the noise and trust myself again. If you’ve ever felt held back by what people might think, you’re going to feel right at home here.

I share why community has been such a huge part of my healing and why I wanted this podcast to feel like a cozy space to land, not another place to impress anyone. You’ll hear how we can support one another as we unlearn old habits and build something more honest together. I’d truly love to hear your stories and walk this out with you. Hit play on this very first episode of the Done Pretending podcast, and let’s start practicing authenticity side by side.

Key Timestamps:

[00:00:00] Introduction.

[00:00:43] Healing through authentic living.

[00:05:34] Childhood trauma and its effects.

[00:10:11] Dreaming big vs. mediocre life.

[00:14:25] Judgment and vulnerability exploration.

[00:19:25] Stepping out of comfort zone.

Memorable Quotes:

"It's my goal to teach you how to be the real you, how to stop pretending to be something just to be safe, just to keep everybody else happy. We're going to let all that go." [00:02:59] – Susan Houston

"I want you to get vulnerable, and I want you to just post something that is real." [00:16:35] – Susan Houston

Connect with Susan Houston:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanhouston.kienitz/

Join our FREE Skool Community and get instant access to the 30-Day Freedom from Judgment Tracker, the tool that helps you break free from what's holding you back and step into your calling.

👉 Join here:  https://www.skool.com/done-pretending-susan-houston-4882

Produced by Evolved Podcasting: www.evolvedpodcasting.com

What if the most exhausting thing you've ever done was pretending to be fine for too long?Welcome to Done Pretending, where healing meets authentic living. Hosted by Susan Houston, this podcast is a movement for anyone who's tired of hiding, for the people pleasers, the perfectionists, and the ones who've spent their whole lives being strong for everyone else.Susan knows what it's like to appear strong while feeling completely unseen, to sacrifice who you are for who everyone else needs you to be, and to wake up one day realizing you don't even recognize yourself anymore. But she also knows what happens when you finally take that mask off.This isn't just another self-help podcast. This is a sanctuary for the soul.Each week, you'll hear powerful stories from real people who've done the brave work, people who have faced their shame, found their voice, and stepped into the freedom of being themselves. We'll explore what it really takes to heal, to let go of the version of you that everyone expects, to stop living for approval and start living on purpose.Because here's the truth: The world doesn't need another version of who you think you should be. It needs the real you.If you're ready to take off the mask and step into authentic living, this podcast is for you.