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In the beginning, everyone remembers.

People call. They check in. They remember birthdays and anniversaries. They ask how you're doing. But as the years pass, something begins to change. The calls become less frequent. Fewer people mention your child's name. Life continues moving forward for everyone around you, while your child remains just as much a part of your life as ever.

In this episode of Don't Forget To Breathe, Bruce and Kristin talk openly about what remembering looks like many years after the deaths of Kristen and Zach. They share how birthdays and anniversaries have changed, what it's like watching their children's friends reach milestones their own children never had the chance to experience, and those unexpected moments when the body seems to remember even before the mind does.

They also talk about something remarkably simple that can mean so much to a bereaved parent: hearing someone say their child's name.

Because when you say their name, you're not reminding us that they died.

You're reminding us that they lived.

This is Part One of a deeply personal conversation about memory, time, and continuing to carry our children with us.

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In Part 2 of our conversation with Erin Blechman, we begin with two words familiar to so many bereaved parents, “what if?”

What if I had noticed something? What if I had called? What if I had made a different decision?

Erin shares how guilt and child loss can become deeply intertwined, and offers a powerful reframing, turning “what if” into “even if,” as a way of confronting the painful belief that we somehow could have controlled the outcome.

The conversation expands into how child loss changes us, why every family member must be allowed to grieve differently, the importance of support groups and community, and what Erin calls our “grief illiterate culture.”

Erin also shares how the private journals she began after Max’s death became her book, My Unexpected Journey, and how her own grief eventually led her to become a grief educator and walk alongside other bereaved parents.

And finally, we return to Max, not to how he died, but to how he lived, a creative, compassionate young man with a beautiful heart who cared deeply about others.

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Help keep the Don’t Forget To Breathe podcast going. Become a supporter today and be part of the movement to bring light, connection, and hope to those living with loss. Follow this link to become a Supporter:

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Erin Blechman describes her son Max as one of the most interesting people she has ever known. He was intelligent, creative, compassionate, funny, and deeply sensitive. He played music, wrote poetry and short stories, performed stand up comedy, and cared deeply about the injustices he saw in the world.

Max also lived with major depressive disorder, and in June of 2020, at age 25, he died by suicide.

In Part 1 of this two part conversation, Erin shares Max’s life beyond the circumstances of his death and speaks openly about the earliest days of child loss, the fog of grief, the yearning to be with your child again, anger, survival, and the isolation bereaved parents can experience.

Bruce and Erin also explore the relationship between grief and trauma, and why understanding both can be an important part of learning to live after the unimaginable.

This episode includes an open conversation about suicide, mental health, and child loss.

Support the show

Help keep the Don’t Forget To Breathe podcast going. Become a supporter today and be part of the movement to bring light, connection, and hope to those living with loss. Follow this link to become a Supporter:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1376761/support

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What happens when a group of mothers who have experienced the death of a child step away from everyday life and into the mountains together?

In this special episode of Don't Forget To Breathe, Kristin reunites with several of the moms who shared a retreat weekend in the Colorado mountains. Together, they reflect on what they carried home with them, the connections they formed, and what it means to spend time with people who understand a grief that so often feels impossible to explain.

Their conversation explores the isolation of child loss, learning to be gentle with yourself around anniversaries and milestones, allowing others to show up for you, and discovering that laughter and joy do not betray the children we love and miss.

They also talk honestly about how different grief can look from one parent to another, and why sometimes the greatest gift isn't advice or the right words, but simply having someone willing to sit beside you and say, "Your tears are safe with me."

There is no retreat that can change the reality that our children died. But finding people who understand can change how we carry that loss.

If you've been feeling alone in your grief, we hope this conversation reminds you that you don't have to carry it alone.

The Don't Forget To Breathe Foundation is planning additional retreat weekends for bereaved parents, including an upcoming Mother's Retreat in November 2026. Visit dontforgettobreathefoundation.org or reach out to us to learn more.

Come as you are. We'll meet you there.

Support the show

Help keep the Don’t Forget To Breathe podcast going. Become a supporter today and be part of the movement to bring light, connection, and hope to those living with loss. Follow this link to become a Supporter:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1376761/support

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Don’t Forget To Breathe

I still talk to you in empty rooms

In the silence and the Sunday afternoons

Some days I laugh

Some days I break

Some days I don’t know

What my heart can take

And everybody says that time moves on

But they don’t know a love this strong

So we carry what we cannot leave

And somehow learn to breathe

So don’t forget to breathe

When the night gets hard to see

When the world keeps moving on

And you’re still holding on

There’s a place for every tear

Every memory still here

You are not alone tonight

We’ll sit with you awhile

And don’t forget to breathe

We speak their names around this fire

Like keeping love alive is our desire

And maybe grief’s just love that stays

Long after someone slips away

So pull your chair a little near

There’s healing in the stories shared right here

No fixing words

No grand relief

Just hearts that still believe

So don’t forget to breathe

When the ache won’t let you sleep

When the quiet feels too loud

And you can’t stand in the crowd

There’s a road we didn’t choose

Still we walk it two by two

You are not alone tonight

We’ll sit with you awhile

And don’t forget to breathe

Ahhhh

Love don’t end

It just changes shape again

Ohhhh

And the ones we miss the most

Still live inside these souls

So don’t forget to breathe

Through the heartbreak and the grief

There’s a light we cannot see

Still shining quietly

And if all you do today

Is simply make it through the pain

That is more than enough tonight

You’re still here and so are we

So don’t forget

Don’t forget to breathe

Don’t forget to breathe

Don’t Forget To Breathe

Support the show

Help keep the Don’t Forget To Breathe podcast going. Become a supporter today and be part of the movement to bring light, connection, and hope to those living with loss. Follow this link to become a Supporter:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1376761/support

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As Season 4 comes to a close, Bruce Barker reflects on an unforgettable year of conversations, courage, and connection.

In this special solo episode, Bruce looks back at some of the season's most impactful moments with guests including Tammy, Jamie and Cooper, Scott Allen, Marissa, and John DeDakis. He shares how their stories, along with conversations with co-host Kristin Glenn, have helped normalize grief, honor our children, and remind bereaved parents that they are never alone.

Bruce also offers a preview of what's ahead in Season 5, including upcoming guests, new Foundation initiatives, and the first episode of the new season, which will reflect on National Bereaved Parents Month, the Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents of the USA national conferences, and the anniversaries of Zach and Kristen.

Finally, Bruce debuts the Don't Forget To Breathe song, a deeply personal tribute inspired by the words that have become the heartbeat of the podcast and a reminder that love endures, hope remains, and our children's stories continue to be told. And here are the lyrics...

Don’t Forget To Breathe

I still talk to you in empty rooms

In the silence and the Sunday afternoons

Some days I laugh

Some days I break

Some days I don’t know

What my heart can take

And everybody says that time moves on

But they don’t know a love this strong

So we carry what we cannot leave

And somehow learn to breathe

So don’t forget to breathe

When the night gets hard to see

When the world keeps moving on

And you’re still holding on

There’s a place for every tear

Every memory still here

You are not alone tonight

We’ll sit with you awhile

And don’t forget to breathe

We speak their names around this fire

Like keeping love alive is our desire

And maybe grief’s just love that stays

Long after someone slips away

So pull your chair a little near

There’s healing in the stories shared right here

No fixing words

No grand relief

Just hearts that still believe

So don’t forget to breathe

When the ache won’t let you sleep

When the quiet feels too loud

And you can’t stand in the crowd

There’s a road we didn’t choose

Still we walk it two by two

You are not alone tonight

We’ll sit with you awhile

And don’t forget to breathe

Ahhhh

Love don’t end

It just changes shape again

Ohhhh

And the ones we miss the most

Still live inside these souls

So don’t forget to breathe

Through the heartbreak and the grief

There’s a light we cannot see

Still shining quietly

And if all you do today

Is simply make it through the pain

That is more than enough tonight

You’re still here and so are we

So don’t forget

Don’t forget to breathe

Don’t forget to breathe

Don’t Forget To Breathe

Thank you for walking this journey with us. We'll see you in Season 5.

Support the show

Help keep the Don’t Forget To Breathe podcast going. Become a supporter today and be part of the movement to bring light, connection, and hope to those living with loss. Follow this link to become a Supporter:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1376761/support

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Who were you before your child died? And who have you become since?

In this deeply personal conversation, Bruce Barker and Kristin Glenn explore one of the most profound realities of child loss: the person you were before your child died no longer exists.

Together, they reflect on how grief reshapes identity, relationships, priorities, purpose, and even the way we experience the world. They talk about losing not only a son or daughter, but also the future they imagined, the confidence they once carried, and the version of themselves they thought they would always be.

They also discuss the unexpected qualities that emerge through grief, deeper compassion, greater authenticity, a different understanding of success, and a renewed desire to help others, while acknowledging they would trade every lesson learned for one more moment with their children.

Throughout the episode, Bruce and Kristin invite listeners to pause and consider difficult but important questions:

• What parts of yourself do you miss?
• What parts of yourself are you proud of?
• How have your priorities changed?
• What would your child recognize in the person you've become?

If you've ever looked in the mirror after child loss and wondered, "Who am I now?" this conversation reminds you that you're not alone. Grief changes us, but it doesn't end our story. Together, we continue learning how to carry both who we were and who we are becoming.

Support the show

Help keep the Don’t Forget To Breathe podcast going. Become a supporter today and be part of the movement to bring light, connection, and hope to those living with loss. Follow this link to become a Supporter:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1376761/support

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Marissa's daughter, Skylar, died in 2015 at just four years old. More than a decade later, Marissa shares what many bereaved parents quietly experience: the love hasn't changed, the grief hasn't disappeared, and healing can sometimes feel like betraying the child you miss every day.

In this deeply vulnerable conversation, Marissa talks about the physical pain of grief, addiction as an attempt to numb unbearable sorrow, carrying what she describes as "a rock" inside her, and the loneliness that comes when everyone around you seems to move forward while you remain emotionally anchored to the day your child died.

She also shares the hope she's beginning to discover as she starts grief counseling, why saying a child's name matters more than many people realize, and what grieving parents truly need from those who love them.

Whether you're grieving the loss of a child or supporting someone who is, this episode offers honest insight into the lifelong journey of carrying profound love alongside profound loss.

Support the show

Help keep the Don’t Forget To Breathe podcast going. Become a supporter today and be part of the movement to bring light, connection, and hope to those living with loss. Follow this link to become a Supporter:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1376761/support

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Sometimes another person's words express exactly what our hearts have been trying to say.

In this special episode, Bruce and Kristin step away from the traditional interview format to share writings and reflections from several remarkable voices in the grief community, including Jameson Arasi, Paula Griffith, Donna Ashworth, and The Grief Table.

Together, they explore powerful themes including why grief is a lifelong expression of love, how grief and joy can exist together, the difference between memories and missing, learning to "move with" grief rather than trying to move on, and why speaking our children's names keeps their presence alive.

More than a discussion about inspirational quotes, this conversation is an invitation to discover resources that may bring comfort, validation, and hope—whether your loss is recent or decades old.

If you've ever struggled to find words for your grief, this episode may help you find them.

Because while grief changes shape, love never disappears. 

Support the show

Help keep the Don’t Forget To Breathe podcast going. Become a supporter today and be part of the movement to bring light, connection, and hope to those living with loss. Follow this link to become a Supporter:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1376761/support

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What began as one father's way of surviving the loss of his daughter has grown into something far bigger than a podcast.

In this special episode, Bruce Barker and Kristin Glenn announce the launch of the Don't Forget To Breathe Foundation, a nonprofit created to expand connection, conversation, and community for bereaved parents and those who walk beside them.

Bruce and Kristin share the story behind the foundation, the unmet needs they continue to see in the child loss community, and their vision for creating spaces where grieving parents feel heard, understood, and supported—whether their loss was recent or decades ago.

They also introduce upcoming initiatives including retreats for mothers, fathers, and couples, facilitator training, educational resources, support circles, and new conversation prompt cards designed to strengthen grief support groups.

You'll also hear about the foundation's first public appearances at the upcoming national conferences for The Compassionate Friends and Bereaved Parents of the USA, and learn how you can help ensure that no parent has to navigate child loss alone.

Whether you're a bereaved parent, family member, friend, professional, or someone who simply wants to support grieving families more compassionately, this episode is an invitation to become part of a growing community built on hope, authenticity, and connection.

Together, we're creating connection, conversation, and community—so no one has to navigate child loss alone.

Support the show

Help keep the Don’t Forget To Breathe podcast going. Become a supporter today and be part of the movement to bring light, connection, and hope to those living with loss. Follow this link to become a Supporter:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1376761/support